by I J Shur
“All right, all right.” Udi lost his patience. “You’re right again. Okay, I’ve had enough. You get going now and I’ll talk to you later.”
“Don’t get yourself into any more trouble now!” Yinon got out a few more words before Udi hung up.
Udi needed to distract himself, so he called Leonard, the owner of the blue Jeep, and arranged a meeting to take another look at the car. They agreed to meet on Leonard’s street the next day.
Udi showed up punctually, at eleven o’clock in the morning. Leonard said that there was a garage nearby where people checked out used cars before buying them, so they made their way to the garage. Leonard was greeted warmly, and it was clear that this was not the first time he had been there. He went to the office, talked to one of the mechanics for a few minutes, and then asked Udi if he’d like to join him for lunch while the car was inspected.
“There’s a really good restaurant nearby, and they have the best food. Their chicken schnitzels taste like your mother’s! It’s on me.”
Udi agreed, but he knew that usually cars ought to be examined in the presence of the buyer, so he was a little suspicious.
They entered the small restaurant. The aroma of burned oil was heavy in the air, and Udi thought he detected a light coating of oil over the tables and chairs.
“What is there to eat today, Sveta?” Leonard asked, making it clear that he ate there quite often.
Udi checked Sveta out. She had very thick arms, and a thin layer of black hair sprouted from her chin.
“The usual,” she replied in a thick Russian accent. “Same as yesterday.”
She turned and brought small plates of pickles, onion, spicy sauces, and two round pita breads. Leonard dipped a piece of bread into the hot sauce and stuck it in his mouth with a piece of onion.
“How would you like the schnitzels?” Sveta asked, knowing what Leonard would order. When she smiled, a gold tooth twinkled.
Leonard said, “Let’s pretend they’re a couple of juicy steaks. Put them in the frying pan, and bring us a plate of French fries as well.”
A gold lighter poked from Leonard’s pack of cigarettes, which sat at his side on the table. A large, beautifully designed gold ring banged on the tabletop every time he placed his hand on it.
“How is the real estate business?” Leonard asked.
Udi sensed that Leonard was really trying hard to sound interested, but Udi didn’t have the patience to answer him. He took a breath, but Leonard seemed so impatient and pushy that Udi simply could not find any words to speak, so he remained silent. Leonard took another look at his phone, and then at his watch. Udi sensed tension.
The schnitzels made it to the table, and Leonard finished his in a few gulps. “We need to go now,” he said, tersely. “The inspection must be over.”
Udi had barely touched his food, but he found himself hurrying out of the restaurant with Leonard.
As they sat with the mechanic, Udi skimmed the electronic computer test printout. He asked, “What does it mean where it says that there was some body work done on the vehicle and that there was some rust under the body?” he asked.
“It’s nothing serious, nothing at all. About a thousand bucks is all you need for the car to look like new.”
Udi was reminded of an old comedy routine about a man who is buying a used car.
“How much?”
“No more than about $1,250,” the mechanic replied.
“You’d better hurry,” Leonard chimed in from over Udi’s shoulder. “If you want the car, we might still manage to get over to the DMV before they close so that we can transfer the title.”
Udi imagined himself driving the Jeep, and he hurried to pay for the test. When they reached the DMV, he learned that the Jeep was not registered in either Leonard’s name or his girlfriend’s. It was registered to someone with a European-sounding name who lived a few towns away.
“That’s nothing,” said Leonard. “The car was registered to someone who works at my carpentry shop so I wouldn’t have too many cars registered in my name.”
Udi’s intense desire to own the Jeep blinded him. Internally, lights flashed and alarms rang, but he did nothing as Leonard pulled out a power of attorney form, which had been prepared for this purpose, and handed it to the teller. Udi handed the check to Leonard.
He sat in the driver’s seat and measured his distance from the steering wheel, then lifted it to allow his legs a broader range of motion. He adjusted the rearview mirror, turned the ignition switch, and drove off. About two-thirds of a mile from the DMV, as he was making a right turn, he heard a strange noise from the passenger-side front wheel well. Udi’s heart skipped a beat.
As the next light changed and he hit the accelerator, he heard more noises, and about a hundred yards down the road, the Jeep began pulling to one side. Udi had to stop at the side of the road to see what was going on. A quick glance showed that the right disk brake had broken into several pieces and the wheel leaned in on the axel. Udi wanted to dismiss the thoughts that raced through his head, but it was clear that Leonard and his friend the mechanic were probably sitting somewhere, clinking their glasses together in celebration.
To his surprise, Leonard answered his call.
“Hi! How’s the car?”
“I wish I could say that the car is fine, but it’s not! It’s presently parked on the side of the road with a broken axel.”
Udi was impressed by how well Leonard acted surprised.
“Wait where you are! My brother will come and help you.”
Amazingly, not ten minutes had gone by before a beat-up white car stopped alongside him and a smaller version of Leonard got out. He generously helped Udi change the tire and politely dismissed his remarks about Leonard’s honesty.
“You two haven’t heard the last of this! I’ll be in touch as soon as I know the extent of the damage.”
“I’ll tell my brother,” said Leonard’s brother as he got back in his car and drove off.
A minute later, the phone began ringing nonstop. It was Leonard who was so insistent and kept calling when Udi didn’t pick up. Udi preferred to wait and find out the extent of the damage before talking.
With trembling hands, he called Rona and told her what had happened. She asked him where he was, and after forty minutes, her car screeched to a halt and she hurried out of it, toward him. After a long hug, he felt his anger ebbing away.
“My friend is the top mechanic at a dealership not far from here,” she said. “Let’s go and see him. I’ll call him while we’re on our way.”
When they entered the dealership, Rona greeted her friend Gilly, who was waiting for them. He was very thin and short with black, oily hair that he brushed back. He came close to Rona and kissed her.
I’ll need to trust her, thought Udi. This Gilly guy doesn’t seem much different from Leonard.
“How ya’ doin’?” Gilly called out to her. “Finally, I get to see you without your husband! Give me a hug. Around that pain in the…I can’t get close to you.”
Rona gave him a half-hearted hug. It was clear that Gilly was not too happy about either the embrace or the fact that Udi was there.
“This is the first favor you’ve asked for, even though you know that I’d get the moon for you if you needed me to, so what happened this time? Are you screwing around with him?”
She chuckled, and Udi wanted to make himself disappear. The idea that Gilly and Rona’s husband would meet up with him in some dark alley gave him a chill. He tried to calm his nerves and thought that maybe he’d make some wisecrack to relieve the pressure. Rona noticed his expression and motioned to him to keep quiet.
“Either you had better learn how to speak to your friend’s wife, or I am going to take my business elsewhere. You are not going to talk to me like that.” Rona returned his fire with a little fire of her own. “This is my
business partner,” she said.
“I’ve known you for thirty years, and you’ve never stood up to me like that! I hope he’s worth it,” Gilly said, and pointed Udi in the direction of the nearest hydraulic lift. “Get the car up on that and let’s see what they’ve done to it.”
His fingers expertly inspected the Jeep’s frame and metallic body. He checked each connection and joint expertly, going over the parts one by one. He dwelled on the patches of rust and held a small mirror under the car. When he’d finished, he approached with a serious expression.
“What’s up?” Udi pressed him.
“It’s a good thing that there’s a sucker born every minute. You guys are at the mercy of car dealerships—”
Udi cut him off. “Thanks for the compliments,” he said. “Let’s get to the point.”
“The point is that there were two Jeeps that apparently ended their lives in accidents, and this abomination in front of us was built from their cannibalized parts.”
Udi paled. He said, “And now for the good news?”
“Ah, that’s the point. There isn’t any. Based on the kind of work that was done, I can tell you which bastard caught you and which lots and insurance companies he works with. I’ll fix the tire for you so you can drive the car until you decide what to do.”
Gilly changed the tire for him, and Udi parked the car outside of the garage. Rona asked him to wait for her.
He grew gloomy as he waited. Why was I so tempted to buy the Jeep? How did I ignore the signs that Leonard was a car dealer? Why did I ignore my wife’s advice? Why did I ignore the data from the test printout? The more he thought about the warnings, the more depressed he became.
He was pulled from his negative thoughts when he noticed that across the way, on the opposite sidewalk, was a young girl with long brown hair, pale skin, soft facial features, and a beauty that made his heart skip a beat. She was tall and thin, and she attracted his attention from afar, making him feel as if he were looking at a young purebred filly. Udi was enchanted. As he watched, she crossed the street using a nearby crossing. Udi couldn’t believe his eyes. Her right shirt sleeve swayed from side to side because there was no arm in it. He was filled with sadness, because perfect beauty juxtaposed with a missing arm seemed all wrong. He looked at the girl for a long moment, and then a message appeared in his consciousness. “No matter how gloomy you are,” a small voice whispered in his ear, “you can fix this. Here you see one of God’s masterpieces crossing the street, and no power in the world can fix her or make her whole again. Things could be worse.”
Udi knew that despite the financial blow, from this point on, everything was in his hands. If he managed the situation properly, he knew that he could get out of it with only minimal damage.
“So what does your guy say?” he asked Rona as she got into the Jeep.
She sighed heavily and said, “He asked me when I started fucking you.”
“Excuse me,” Udi said, “but how did you reach that topic of conversation with him?”
“Gilly served in the army with my husband. They were in a unit that interrogated prisoners. People like that have a sense of smell like foxes in the wild. He couldn’t believe that I went there, especially to him, and that I convinced him to get you in without an appointment. People wait weeks until he can take a look at their vehicles, and I made him look at your Jeep right away. He said that if I wasn’t married to his best friend, he would have asked me to join him for a weekend in the Bahamas in exchange for that favor. He checks me out whenever we meet at social events, and I knew that someday I’d be able to take advantage of it and ask him for a favor. Now I’ve burned my chance, and you’re going to have to compensate me for the huge interrogation I had to go through with him.” She smiled.
“He played hurt over the fact that he has been hitting on me for years, and then you show up and pick the apple off the tree. Needless to say, my strenuous denials only served to fan the flames. I didn’t even bother telling him to leave my husband out of this, and I am sure that one day he will come and demand his pound of flesh.”
Udi decided that there was no need to respond and simply gave her a warm hug. “I’ll prove to you that you didn’t sacrifice your innocence for nothing. I’m eternally grateful for your help.” He looked around to make sure that Gilly was not in the vicinity. “You’re the love of my life,” he whispered, and got into the Jeep.
On his way home, he thought about looking for a good lawyer, the kind that would make Leonard beg for the deal to be canceled.
A phone call disturbed his thoughts.
“Where are you?” his wife asked.
“Why do you want to know? I’m around.”
“I want to know because we made plans. It’s Friday today. By seven o’clock, everyone will start showing up for dinner, and I just want to make sure that you won’t be late.”
“I’ll be there on time,” he answered tersely. How will I tell her about the Jeep? Maybe I can keep it quiet.
Seeing a small liquor store at the side of the road, he pulled over and went in.
“We’re having a fancy dinner tonight, and I want to spoil my wife and guests with some really nice wine. What can you recommend?”
The salesman sized him up for a moment before asking, “Would you go for a domestic cabernet sauvignon?”
“And why should I go for that one?”
“Do you really want to know why?” The salesman smiled. “The wine that you are about to purchase is an excellent wine that is produced at a very reputable winery, and it’s good value for the money. It’s rich, dark, and well-balanced. It possesses the quality of the cabernet sauvignon grapes with hints of mint and fruity flavors like red currants and wild berries. It gains its depth from a lengthy aging process in an oak cask, where it absorbs roasted flavors with a hint of vanilla.”
Udi’s mouth hung open; he had not expected such a detailed explanation. “I’m impressed! I’ll use it to impress the guests.” Udi smiled as the salesman packaged the bottles.
On the way home, he turned the radio up and sang along with the Rolling Stones. The driver-side window was open, and a cool breeze stroked his face. He parked the Jeep at the end of the street in order to avoid running into his wife. He was slowly walking the short distance to his home when his phone rang. An unidentified number made a warning flash through his mind. He didn’t pick up, so the caller tried again. He ignored it again and caught sight of his wife’s hand waving through the window.
He stood in his driveway for a minute, listening to the message. “You bastard! You’re messing around with married women. I know what your name is and where you live. You better watch out!”
The color drained from his face, and his heart began to pound. The message and the sound of his guests’ voices, leaking through the open windows, caused him to momentarily panic. He stood at the door for a moment, feeling paralyzed. What the fuck am I going to do?
Udi squared his shoulders and put on a brave face; although he smiled, he looked more like he was on the verge of tears. They don’t know what I’m thinking. If I can just start chatting with them, they’ll never guess.
He took a deep breath and went inside.
The noise of several simultaneous conversations deafened him, and he gazed about like a deer in the headlights.
“Offer the people some wine,” Varda whispered. “Don’t worry about me. I’ll do everything else. You just manage the wine.”
Udi opened one of the bottles, gathered some glasses, and circled the room to make small talk with the guests. He tried not to get into any long discussions. He listened attentively to the real estate agent who had brokered a huge deal in the town where he lived with his wife. He heard the police officer say that she had been made bureau chief of the regional commander’s office; she’d then become exposed to power struggles and intrigues that sounded like they could have come from a
badly written soap opera script.
Udi navigated through the many party guests, offering people glasses of wine. Occasionally he’d pour a glass for himself, and since he had been drinking on an empty stomach, he soon felt a little tipsy. He walked to Varda, poured her half a glass, and handed it to her with a mischievous grin.
“You know I don’t drink,” she sneered.
Chapter 35
He awoke the next morning feeling anxious. His thoughts raced like bees in a hive that had just been upended. He lost patience with himself and a feeling of lethargy—of paralysis—clutched at him. The patchwork Jeep bothered him. He knew a sort of hell in which the flames would know no boundaries was opening between Rona and her husband.
Although his watch told him it was early, he called Assaf and was happy to hear his voice on the other end of the line.
“Is something wrong?”
“No.” Udi was quick to calm himself. Assaf’s startled reply had pressured him, which didn’t help since he’d wanted Assaf to calm him down. “Everything’s okay,” Udi hurriedly added.
“You can come this afternoon if you want, before I finish up. Is 1 p.m. okay?”
“I’ll be there.”
His relationship with Assaf had, for a long time, been much more than the typical therapist-patient one. Udi loved Assaf and respected his experience and directness. He was reminded of the first time they’d met. At the end of the session, Assaf asked Udi to think about his relationship with his parents to prepare for their next meeting. At the beginning of the second meeting, Assaf had held out his hand to Udi.
“So what have you got for me?”
Udi stammered and mumbled something about forgetting, and he apologized.
Assaf said, “Our time is precious, and it’s important that we don’t waste it.”
Udi remembered how Assaf had proven his value during that trying moment.