by I J Shur
“He doesn’t know what he wants, and all guys are losers!” she said bitterly.
“Last night you stayed up late preparing for a test, and Cupid was hovering over your head. What changed since then?”
“I asked him why he always comes over to our house but he’s never invited me to his place. He said that he’s not sure if it’s time yet. In the morning, he told me that Sherri, who’s in our grade, asked him if he wants to go with her to a movie. The scaredy- cat! Instead of saying that he already has a girlfriend, he said he’d go with her.”
“And how did you react?” Udi asked.
“I told him that he needs to make up his mind and let me know when he does. Then I got up to walk away. He asked me to stay, so I stayed, but he didn’t say a word.”
Udi looked at his agitated daughter. “You should have a short discussion with yourself and think about what you would like to happen. If Omry acts like that, chances are that he will continue to do so. Maybe you should give up on him. Or maybe you need to forgive him and let him have another chance. How does he feel now that you are furious with him? Maybe you should get together with him and try to help him understand how you feel.”
Michal looked at him for a long moment. “When you get older, things change?” she asked.
Udi thought for a minute, and then he smiled. “I want to tell you that this kind of behavior at your age is totally normal, and real. At my age, you tend to expect that a person will have more life experience, different kinds of insights, and the ability to jump over hurdles that we wouldn’t have been able to manage when we were younger. Unfortunately, the truth is that most of us tend to repeat the same mistakes over and over.”
Michal thought for a moment, looked at Udi, and said, “You’ve made things difficult for me. What am I supposed to do?”
“I think that you need to check with yourself. Ask yourself if you really love him, and ask how important he is to you. If he’s important, tell him what you feel about him, but don’t be angry with him. Anger will make him afraid of you, and believe me, boys that are afraid do stupid things.”
“I understand,” said Michal. “Thanks. Good night, Dad.” She gave him a kiss and walked out of the room.
Udi watched her walk away and smiled quietly to himself. She’d come into his study angry and moody but left relaxed and thoughtful.
Suddenly, he remembered himself at age sixteen. He pictured the clock affixed to the iron pole in the center of the town that he grew up in. Beneath it, young Galia faced him. She had captured his heart and was looking at him deeply.
We dated for about three months, I think. All those deep silences, the idle chatter, the gossip about friends! We used to spend so much time together. I remember the smell of her body. I was secretly checking her out then, admiring her every curve. Even then, I was holding endless discussions with myself without having the nerve to share a single word of it with her. I wanted to ask her if she loved me, but I was afraid of her response. I choked up each time I tried to open my mouth and speak!
Udi saw her in his mind. Under the clock, Galia sat across from him and talked animatedly about having been chosen to lead the local Girl Scout troop for her grade level. He peeked at her shirt and noticed that the top button was open. Her breasts were squeezed into a bra that was a size too small, and they drove him crazy. She wondered aloud why she had been chosen from among the six other girls, despite the fact that each of them was much more experienced than her. Udi lowered his head, but his eyes were continually drawn to the exciting open neck of her shirt. Galia said the troop leader had taken her aside and told her that she had been chosen due to her management and organizational skills and that these were skills that were difficult to attain.
He remembered saying that some people simply have it and others don’t. Udi had nodded and thought about how he could tell Galia that the button of her shirt was undone without seeming too eager. She kept talking excitedly as a tremble passed through his body. He tried to ignore it, so he sat still and kept his mouth shut. The tremble in his body had turned into a shiver, and Galia asked if he was cold. Udi had wanted to say that he was, but he suddenly imagined himself in her embrace, her breasts pressed hard against his chest. Besides momentarily becoming disoriented, he’d become so emotional that he didn’t dare say “yes” and get a hug.
There was a long, embarrassing silence. Galia filled it with chatter. She told him that she had been invited to a leadership seminar with the other class leaders during the upcoming weekend. They were to go camping out in the country.
“Where will you sleep?” he asked out of politeness.
She replied, “In the country.”
“The country is a big place,” he’d said.
The open shirt had been tantalizing, and he’d found the subject matter too difficult to follow. He’d rather they talked about themselves, about their date together, about how the full moon filled the night sky, about the growling sound of an owl cutting through the night. He’d wanted her to stargaze with him and listen to the sounds of the night. He’d wanted long silences, contact, a hug.
“The top button of your shirt is open,” he said suddenly, and he couldn’t believe that he had said it.
Galia looked down and set a small trap for him. “If it’s bothering you, close it.”
Of course it hadn’t been bothering him. The opposite had been true, but he reached out clumsily and tried to close the offending button. He stole a glance into Galia’s eyes. She seemed amused by the situation and allowed him to continue his bumbling.
Their moment of closeness gave him courage, and he asked, “What would happen if I tried to kiss you?”
“How will you know if you don’t try?”
He leaned in and gave her a long kiss. Her lips were soft and warm, and they enveloped his lips like rolling lava.
Chapter 44
Udi would have happily continued to stray along the path of that night, and those that had followed, but his gaze suddenly met the large clock hanging on the wall.
The Club! I’m supposed to be there in twenty minutes.
In a minute, Udi was in the shower. Warm streams of water on his body filled him with pleasure. When he finished, he stood naked in front of the long mirror, inspecting himself. His wide rounded shoulders became long muscular arms, and his hairless chest was still rounded, a nod to the large muscles that resided there in his youth. His flat stomach ended closer to his private parts in a slight ring of fat, a memory of the potbelly that he had gotten rid of with the help of a small diet. His member pointed downward; it was situated perfectly symmetrically at his groin, and its resting size made Udi feel comfortable. After drying off with the soft sky-blue towel that he loved, he stood for a moment in front of his closet and chose a loose-fitting pair of jeans and a new shirt that flattered his shape. He walked briskly through the house and said good night to his children.
He picked up his keys and ran for the door. “Varda! I’ll be back later,” he shouted.
Chapter 45
All week long, there had been back and forth telephone calls among the group of friends—it had been quite some time since they had all hung out together. Moshe, an appraiser, called Udi on Wednesday afternoon and asked, “Are we meeting tomorrow?”
Udi knew that Moshe would never initiate a get-together without his permission.
Poor Moshe! He’s having a bad time in his marriage. It seems that since their wedding, they’ve merely lived together in the same house, more like roommates than lovers. He wants to meet with friends every night. Anything—just as long as he doesn’t have to sit at home with his wife, climbing the walls.
“Of course we’re getting together,” was Udi’s reply. “Talk to everyone.” Moshe was the veteran of the group.
Chapter 46
Udi pulled up outside the Laidel and parked the car. A thick cloud of cigarette smoke greeted him
as he entered the club, and a small cough escaped from his throat. He scanned the crowd and found Moshe sitting in the group’s usual spot, slowly smoking a cigarette. Udi approached him, shook his hand, and sat with his back to the wall. Moshe’s face revealed that he was uptight and in need of someone to talk to.
“What’s up?” asked Udi.
“I’m not doing so great,” Moshe quickly replied.
“Talk to me,” Udi said. “Before the rest get here.”
“A couple of days ago, the IRS sent investigators to my office and made a huge mess.”
“Why? What happened?”
Moshe explained that investigators had shown up with no warning, looking for something, equipped with names, addresses, and phone numbers. They had a search warrant and had turned his office upside down.
“Do you have any idea why they did that?”
Moshe nodded and said that through some excellent connections of his, he had found out that someone had opened their mouth. He squirmed in his seat and made it clear that he’d rather not talk about the subject.
Ron, a carpenter, arrived and sat down next to Udi.
“How are things?” Udi asked.
“There’s never enough work. The kids are working in the firm now, you know.”
“And that Ethiopian? How’s she?”
Ron was having an affair with a beautiful and sensuous Ethiopian woman who lived with her three children and two dogs only one street away from him. So as not to offend his wife, he had sex with her regularly. “Don’t stop having sex with your wife,” the Ethiopian would say to him as he got dressed. “That way, you won’t make her suspicious.”
Udi remembered well the distress that Ron had been under when the Ethiopian had given him an ultimatum. “Fridays you’re with me, or I’m closing my legs.”
“Don’t give in to her,” Udi had advised him. “If you give in, you’ll quickly find yourself giving in each and every Friday night on some other issue until she asks you to leave your wife.”
Ron laughed at Udi. “All is well!”
Danny, a redhead, arrived at the table and sat down. He had been caught in bed with his wife’s sister, and that very same night, his wife had thrown him out of the house. The next day, she filed for divorce and sued him for half of what he owned. Danny had accumulated a lot of property through his real estate dealings, and he guarded everything like an ant that watches over the food it has stored for colder days. He absolutely hated separating from a piece of property, or even paying for something. At the end of a long, bitter, and unbearable divorce proceeding, Danny was forced to part with half of everything. In the eight years since, he’d only had casual relationships—he cut it off whenever a relationship got to a certain level of romance.
Next, Little David eased himself behind the table. His nickname was because of his very large dimensions. He divorced his wife after he’d caught her cheating on him with a friend. He had remarried about five years ago to a very strong and demanding woman who controlled him from morning to night. At least once a week, David would meet with his ex-wife for some steamy “afternoon delight” at a luxury hotel somewhere nearby.
Udi had also begun inviting Oded, from the real estate deal, to join him and his friends.
A waitress wearing a green apron approached their table. Her curly hair was casually tied in a knot on top of her head. Her arms were adorned with tattoos, a single ring was affixed to her left nostril, and another decorated her right eyebrow. She had small wrinkles around her eyes, signs of a childhood that had ended too early. “What’ll you have?” she asked in a low voice, husky from smoking too many cigarettes.
Little David signaled with his hand. “The usual,” he said, and within ten minutes, two waitresses arrived holding trays full of beer mugs that dripped foam. They placed a glimmering tray full of various fried items, garnished with large leaves of lettuce, in the center of the table. The group of friends lifted their mugs high in the air and toasted each other warmly, clinking their glasses.
Little David looked at Danny the redhead. “What?” Danny said after several moments.
“What’s new?” asked Little David.
“This time it’s serious,” Danny said. “I met a famous journalist. We’ve already been out a couple of times.”
“How long is it going to last, and who are you going to take it out on this time?” David teased.
“She’s already beginning to get on my nerves,” Danny was quick to reply. “Each time, she orders the most expensive wine, as if to annoy me, as if to test how generous I can be. All she needs to do is to ask me in advance, and I’ll say that I am not—not at all—generous. Meanwhile, she’s keeping her legs closed, and until she opens them, all she’s going to drink is tap water. The wine bottles are done with for now.”
“Until you find a cheapskate like you, Danny, or someone bigger than you, nobody is going to be running into your bed, my friend. You’ll have to give the ladies some serious attention before that’s going to happen.”
Udi suddenly turned pale. Rona had walked into the club on the arm of her husband, accompanied by another couple. Victor noticed Udi’s pale complexion and glanced toward the entrance. “What happened?” he asked.
“Nothing.” Udi shushed him.
The group of four made its way to a table, and Rona sat with her back to the wall to sneak a peek at her surprised lover. Udi lost his concentration and began checking out each person who entered the club. His eyes lingered on Rona’s. Unintentionally, he stole a glance at her husband and found him returning the stare. A tremor passed through his entire body, and quickly he lifted his beer mug to his lips and took a long drink.
A moment later, he made small talk with Victor and then excused himself to go to the restroom, located outside of the club in a courtyard. When he got out of the bathroom, Rona was in the courtyard. He gave her a quizzical look. “I wanted to see you, but he wouldn’t agree to let me go out on my own, so in a gesture of good will, I asked him out. The oaf jumped at the opportunity. He’ll be here in a minute.” She moved closer to him.
“You nearly gave me a heart attack. You need to prepare me for these kinds of things. You know I’m not that young anymore.”
“I took that chance. I had to see you.”
“I’m so happy to see you. I’d like to hug you. If we don’t meet tomorrow, they’re going to find my limp body hanging in the entrance to your home—”
“Do you know him?” Udi suddenly heard the husband’s voice coming from behind him.
“Not at all,” Rona said before Udi was able to utter a word that might fan the flames. “He took a long time to get out of the restroom and I was telling him off for that.” Rona smiled at her husband and was quick to give him a hug.
The suspicious husband looked into Udi’s eyes and said, “Do you know her?”
Udi took a deep breath and said, “You don’t believe your wife? I’m not playing this game. I just met her. I don’t even know what her name is. Have a nice evening, you two.”
He went back inside, his heart pounding. I don’t really want to mess with this character. Calm down! Just breathe!
A minute later, Rona and her husband were next to him. The husband was holding tightly to Rona’s hand. “I don’t believe you,” he said in a threatening tone. “If you are who I think you are, then you’re in a heap of trouble.”
They returned to their table.
“What’s going on?” David wanted to know.
“Nothing! Just a little lover’s quarrel, that’s all. He thought I knew her since I was talking to her in the line for the restroom,” Udi replied.
“Why am I not buying your story?” David tried to turn the tables on him.
“Nobody is telling stories here. Just concentrate on your beer and your life, and try to find solutions to your own problems. We just came here to sing.”
&n
bsp; It was getting crowded around Daniel, the piano player, and people were already singing robustly, a real chorus line. He played songs that everybody knew, and people in the hall joined in. Beer mugs, held aloft by the waitresses, floated through the crowd, landing on tables, shaking like bowling pins.
Victor leaned over and spoke directly into Udi’s ear. “Wait for me tomorrow afternoon at the usual spot with the horses,” he said. Udi missed his heart-to-heart conversations with Victor and was afraid that his friend had something serious to tell him.
Daniel stopped his piano playing, placed a long piece of red felt over the keys, and told everyone that it was getting late. People clapped their hands and asked the waitresses for their checks. One of the women sitting near Daniel smiled at him, and he shyly returned the smile. She had been watching him during the months he’d played there. He said goodbye to everybody and promised that he’d be back the following week.
Just as he arrived at his car, Udi received a text message from Rona. My dear man, my precious lover, I was very happy to see you tonight. Carry me with you. Take me to a horizon of happiness. Marry me, and take me in your arms.
Tears of excitement choked his throat. A thousand answers raced through his thoughts.
Chapter 47
He stood under the shower for an hour, washing the smell of cigarette smoke from his hair and his body, then got into bed slowly, trying not to wake Varda, who was sleeping on her back.
“How was it? Did anybody miss me?” she asked from her sleep.
Udi hugged her and kissed her neck. “I missed you,” he replied, wondering if he was becoming a chronic liar. He wondered who he was and what he was doing.
Udi awoke to another routine morning. He began by calling Oded. It had been a few days since he’d been brought up to speed with details of the deal that they’d spoken of. Oded hadn’t been answering his calls, and Udi had the feeling that his new friend was keeping something from him.