Broken Wings

by Sweet, Izzy

  I nearly choke on my coffee again when he says my parent’s names and my heart starts to race.

  Is he still messing with me? Is this some kind of sick game? There’s no way the other Allie’s parents had the same names. No fucking way.

  “But you were nothin’ like your parents, and it was pretty fucking clear you refused to buy or sell their bullshit. When you kept stickin’ around and everyone started figurin’ out what the two of you had was real, it started to change the club. Fuck, the two of you were breathing new life into it. Watching you two was like watching our future king and queen. We were all just waitin’ for you to turn eighteen and make it legal. Shit, more than half of us were just as fucking excited as Coy. Even Hound, Coy’s old man, was. But then that fucking accident…”

  I shove away from the table and stand, my heart racing so fucking fast I think I’m going to puke and have a heart attack at the same time.

  What he’s saying is crazy… it’s fucking crazy…

  And yet, I’m filled with this intense, almost all-consuming panic that it might be true.

  He goes on, not missing a beat, even when my chair hits the floor. “It fucked us up. Fucked us up bad. I was there that night, at the party. I remember when everyone got word, the party fucking stopped and we all headed for the hospital. Horse was already fuckin’ dead, and even though he was a future brother, there was no reason to go for him. We all went there for Hound, for Coy, for you. And when you disappeared…”

  I walk away, the buzzing in my ears so loud, I can’t make out whatever else he’s saying.

  My head throbs, the pounding pain matching my racing heartbeats. And the panic is no longer almost all-consuming now, it’s completely consuming me.

  I have to get out of here.

  The walls are closing in on me and the floor is moving under my feet.

  My eyes feel like they’ve disconnected from my brain and what they’re showing me is a broadcast on a screen, not what’s actually in front of me.

  I have to get out of here.

  It feels like I’m moving in slow motion as I walk up to Levi.

  When I finally reach the couch, he tips his face up to look at me and smiles.

  It takes an eternity for me to get my throat to move enough to croak out, “Sweetheart, you need a bath. We need to wash the butter off your face.”

  Levi’s smile falters and he glances nervously over at Hammy.

  Hammy nods his head in encouragement. “Go on, little buddy, listen to your momma. We can watch more when you’re cleaned up.”

  Sliding off the couch, Levi comes around to me, and when I move my arm to take his hand, the motion feels mechanical.

  I walk up to the door of the bedroom I slept in last night like I’m a damn robot.

  Just as I pull the door open and start to usher Levi inside, I notice movement out of the corner of my eye.

  I turn my head and Steve freezes in place, one foot hanging over the threshold of the sliding glass doors.

  I keep turning and see both Hammy and Poster Boy standing stiffly in place like they got caught doing something.

  They’re going to try to stop me.

  Realizing this seems to magically dispel whatever it was that came over me and I’m able to finally get my ass in gear.

  Once Levi is in the bedroom, I slam the door behind me and lock it.

  I wasn’t lying when I said Levi needs a bath so I rush him through one wishing I could take one as well. Who knows when we’ll get the next chance, because I swear once I get in my minivan, I’m not stopping.

  I’m just going to keep driving and driving until I can’t drive anymore.

  Thankfully Levi doesn’t put up too much of a fuss as I dress him then dress myself. Once I’ve got my purse, keys, and sunglasses on, I grab his hand and tug him out of the bedroom.

  Hammy is still near the couch but he’s standing now.

  Steve is the closest to me, standing in front of the sliding glass doors, and he jumps a little when he sees me. “Ma’am?”

  I ignore them both and head for the front the door.

  “Ma’am?!” Steve calls out behind me, his voice panicked.

  Yes-men, the both of them. I knew it.

  Neither one of them tries to physically stop me, they’re probably both afraid Coy will kill them if they touch me.

  They just huff and puff behind me, saying, “Ma’am. Ma’am, where are you going?” over and over.

  I don’t get stopped until I actually reach the front door and it swings open.

  Poster Boy steps inside, wiping something off his hands against his jeans, and scowls at me.

  Straightening and blocking the way out, he says, “You can’t leave, Allie.”

  Hammy and Steve crowd in around me and I feel my hackles rising.

  It’s almost like being back at my parent’s house again…

  Mentally shaking the feeling off, I lift my chin and say with a curl of my lip, “I need to go to Walmart for a few things. Please move out of my way.”

  Poster Boy spreads his feet and crosses his arms over his chest, standing his ground. “Sorry, can’t let you do that. Boss man’s orders.”

  I knew he wouldn’t let me get away easily, but I’m not giving up without a fight, dammit.

  “Really?” I ask as if I’m confused and purposely look to Hammy and Steve. “Is that what Coy really said? He said I couldn’t leave the house? I could have sworn he only wanted you guys to protect us. Not keep us prisoners…”

  I watch doubt flicker across their faces and have to keep myself from smirking as they both glance at Poster Boy nervously.

  Poster Boy’s expression turns downright icy as he looks back at them and sharply shakes his head.

  Fucker. I’m still not ready to give up though.

  “Poster Boy, please,” I say and try to look embarrassed. “I really have to go… I need… woman things…”

  Poster Boy’s eyes narrow with suspicion. “What kind of woman things?”

  I make a big show of biting my lip and shifting on my feet. I even glance down at Levi like I don’t want him to know what’s going on. Then I lean toward Poster Boy and drop my voice.

  Both Hammy and Steve lean with me to hear.

  “I started my period,” I whisper, but not too low. I want all three of them to hear me. “I don’t have anything on me, so I need to go to the store to buy tampons.”

  I lean back and intently watch Poster Boy’s face.

  Poster Boy nods his head and seems to think about what I said.

  Then a slow smile creeps across his lips and his blue eyes glitter with amusement as he starts to say, “I’ll send Hammy—”

  “Well, shit. If you need a tampon, ma’am, I got one you can have,” Steve cuts in.

  What?

  I blink in confusion as Steve’s face lights up and he reaches around to his back pocket. Then he whips out an actual tampon and thrusts it at me excitedly. “You can have this one.”

  “I don’t want your tampon,” I say, aghast, and recoil as he waves the thing at me.

  “Da fuck, man?” Hammy asks, equally as aghast.

  Steve’s brow furrows at our reactions and he starts to pull the tampon back as if he’s unsure now. “What? I have seasonal allergies and sometimes my nose bleeds…”

  Hammy slaps a hand over his face and shakes his head. “Fuck… man… That’s fucked up.”

  Steve frowns, shoves the tampon back in his pocket, and says defensively, “It works, dude.”

  Hammy shakes his head again in disbelief.

  Poster Boy starts laughing. “You know we’re all going to start calling you Tampon now, right? What a way to earn your road name. Fuck, I can’t believe it. You offered the Pres’s ol’ lady your fucking tampon…”

  All the color drains from Steve’s face as Poster Boy’s words sink in. “Nah, that’s not true. You brothers wouldn’t do me like that, would ya? Tell me you won’t let everyone call me Tampon…”

  Hammy gr
oans like he’s in pain.

  And Poster Boy doubles over, laughing and clutching his stomach while he enthusiastically nods his head. “Yes, yes, we will.”

  I roll my eyes in disgust and then feel Levi tug on my hand.

  When I glance down at him, he asks, “Mommy, what’s a tampon?”

  Lord save me…

  Poster Boy bursts into a fresh round of laughter, laughing so hard he has to gasp for air. He even has to slap his hand against the open door to keep from falling over.

  And it’s just the opportunity I’ve been waiting for.

  I shove right past Poster Boy and march out the door with Levi.

  “Shit!” Poster Boy curses behind me, his laughter cutting off as I tug Levi toward the minivan.

  Rushing as fast as Levi’s little legs can keep up with, I take quick stock of the area. I’m a little surprised that Coy’s house is in the middle of a rather nice neighborhood, but it definitely works to my advantage. We’re surrounded by other houses and neighbors.

  Neighbors that probably wouldn’t take too kindly to three bikers harassing an innocent mom and her young child.

  Parked at the top of the driveway in front of the garage, the minivan is so close I make it to the driver’s side before Poster Boy finally catches up to me.

  “Allie,” he pants like he can’t catch his breath, “you can’t leave.”

  Ignoring him, I hit the clicker to unlock the sliding back door then frown when nothing happens.

  Did he mess with my car?

  Poster Boy slaps his hand against the door. “I’m serious, Allie. You can’t leave. The Pres will fucking kill me.”

  I think for a moment then I slap his hand away and shove my key in the lock.

  If he messed with my car, he wouldn’t be trying so hard to stop me.

  “Allie… please…” Poster Boy pleads as I pull open the sliding door and help Levi into the backseat.

  Once I have Levi safely buckled in, I yank the door shut and turn to face Poster Boy. “If you don’t want that bike parked behind me wrecked, I suggest you move it.”

  Then I shove him out of my way and open my door.

  “Fuck,” Poster Boy groans and takes a stumbling step back, looking genuinely distressed as I slide behind the wheel.

  Shutting my door, I don’t bother to do my own seatbelt as I jab my key into the ignition.

  Through the windshield, I can see Hammy and Steve pacing in front of the garage, looking just as upset as Poster Boy.

  “Move the bike!” I yell at them, giving them one last chance to do it.

  Realizing I’m not fucking around, Hammy and Steve start jogging for the back of the van.

  Twisting the key in the ignition, I try to start it up, but nothing happens…

  The stupid thing only clicks.

  What the hell?

  I try again, twisting as far as the key will go and even push down on the gas. But again, the van only makes a clicking sound.

  My heart drops to my stomach and I glance over to Poster Boy.

  His head perks up as he notices my attention and a hopeful expression appears on his face.

  Confused, and still believing he didn’t mess with the van, I try one last time to start it up.

  And it only clicks…

  “What the fuck!” I yell and start pounding on the steering wheel in frustration.

  Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

  How the fuck are we going to get out of here now? Stupid car.

  “Mommy?” Levi squeaks from behind me.

  Forcing myself to calm down for his sake, I breathe in heavily through my nose and out my mouth. “It’s okay, honey. I’m sorry. Mommy is mad that something’s wrong with the car.”

  “Oh… It’s okay, mommy,” he says so sweetly, my heart twists behind my ribs.

  How am I going to get us out of this hell?

  Resisting the urge to grab my hair and start ripping my it out, I try one last time to start the van.

  When all it does is click again, I tell Levi to, “Sit tight, honey. Mommy’s going to try to see what’s wrong.”

  Reaching down, I pull the lever that pops the hood and then push my door open because I honestly don’t know what else to do.

  We’re so close… so damn close…

  Completely ignoring Poster Boy, I walk past him and head for the front of the van.

  But when I reach down to lift the hood, his hands are there, grabbing it before mine can.

  “Here, let me get that for you,” Poster Boy says and pushes the hood up.

  Hammy and Steve wander up to see what’s going on, but thankfully they keep their distance from me.

  I’m so wound up, I’m ready to snap.

  Once Poster Boy has the hood secured so it won’t fall down, I lean forward and take a peek at all the parts.

  I know absolutely nothing about how cars work, and I don’t even know what I’m trying to accomplish by doing this, but even I can tell there’s a gap where something should be…

  “Well shit,” Poster Boy says, his voice on the verge of laughter. “Looks like this thing isn’t going anywhere.”

  I shoot him a sharp look. “Why’s that?”

  “Your battery is missing, ma’am,” Hammy says from behind me.

  God, if I hear that word, ma’am, one more time, I swear…

  “What do you mean it’s missing?” I hiss.

  Poster Boy looks at me seriously. “Someone took it, Allie.”

  Of course… of fucking course they did.

  “Was it you?” I glare at him.

  He was wiping his hands on his jeans earlier…

  Poster Boy throws his hands up as if he knows exactly what I’m thinking and shakes his head. “It wasn’t me, I swear.”

  He looks so earnest, I find myself believing him.

  And I know if he didn’t take it, he probably doesn’t know where it is…

  Without it, Levi and I aren’t getting out of here.

  We’re still stuck.

  Shaking my head in disbelief, I try to keep a grip on my emotions, but they swell up so strongly I want to burst into tears.

  “Aw… ma’am… I’m sorry,” Hammy says like he feels bad for me. “I’d give you a lift, but my bike is the only ride I’ve got.”

  Hearing his pity is exactly what I need to keep from completely falling apart.

  Twisting around, I give him the nastiest glare I have in me then I stomp back over to the sliding door to get Levi out.

  “What’s going on, Mommy?” he asks as I lead him back into the house.

  “Sorry, sweetie, we can’t go to the store, the van is broken,” I say and focus on getting his cartoon back on for him, feeling guilty as hell for putting him through my failed escape plan.

  I feel even guiltier when he instantly forgives me again.

  Poster Boy, Hammy, and Steve file back into the house, but just like they did outside, they keep their distance.

  I’m so wound up, so sad, angry, and desperate to get out of here before Coy gets back, I start pacing back and forth.

  There has to be a way…

  Fuck.

  There has to be.

  I can’t be here when he gets back. I can’t…

  Not after what Poster Boy said.

  God, how am I going to face Coy?

  Just the thought of it causes terror to claw up my throat and makes me want to go running and screaming for the hills.

  But I can’t.

  I can’t.

  I can’t.

  I can’t go anywhere because some dick fucked with my van.

  Goddammit.

  I know it was one of them.

  I know it.

  What do I do?

  How do I get us out here?

  How?

  I could call an Uber or something with Levi’s iPad… I know the guys won’t try to physically stop me after what just happened…

  Yeah…

  Maybe that will work.

  But no…

&n
bsp; Shit.

  They might not touch me, but I’m pretty damn sure they’d touch whatever poor driver showed up.

  Shit…

  Shit…

  Shit!

  The walls start to feel like they’re closing on me again and my head is so twisted up, I know something is going to have to happen…

  Something is going to have to give.

  I can feel their eyes on me and I can hear them whispering.

  Their fucking eyes though…

  Watching me.

  I don’t know how to make it all stop, but I have to do something.

  My mind continues to go crazy, trying and failing to figure out something that will work.

  Then I hear that word in my ears…

  That fucking word.

  Ma’am.

  “Levi, stay here. I’ll be right back, I left my purse in the car,” I call over my shoulder as I stop pacing and head for the front door.

  “Okay, Mommy,” I hear him say behind me, and I know he’ll do what I’ll say because he’s a good boy.

  A good boy who doesn’t deserve any of this shit…

  With a worried look on his face, Poster Boy tries to step in front of me before I can yank the door open. “Allie—”

  Far beyond my breaking point, I snap at him, “If you suggest even for a second that I’d run and leave my son behind, I’ll fucking gut you!”

  Eyes going wide, he can’t move out of my way fast enough as I yank the door open and stomp past him.

  I feel all three of them following behind me as I walk up to the van.

  “I left my purse in the car,” I mutter as I yank the driver’s side door open.

  And I truly did. It’s right where I left it in the little space between the seats. I was so upset over the missing battery, I forgot to grab it when I got Levi.

  Sliding behind the wheel, I reach down and pick it up.

  Then I slam the door and push down the lock.

  “Allie? Allie?!” Poster Boy shouts in alarm and tries to open the door. “Fuck!”

  The van might not start because they fucked with it, but that doesn’t mean it won’t roll…

  Pushing down on the brake, I grab the gear stick and shift into neutral.

  Then I lean back, ease my foot off the brake, and let gravity take control.

  There’s something deeply satisfying about hearing three grown men shout, curse, cry, and run around in panic as I roll backward.