Behind the Wheel (Hearts & Horsepower Book 2)

by A. K. Evans

  The thought made me sick. I had to fix it. I had to make this right. Because if I didn’t, it would be just like Ryker said it would. Avery would never recover, and I’d live the rest of my life in regret knowing I was the only one who could have changed it.

  “I’ve got to talk to her,” I declared, my voice strained.

  A look of accomplishment washed over Ryker’s face. He’d done what he came here to do. Stepping aside, he held his hand out to the side, and urged, “Then go talk to her.”

  I started to walk away, but just as I passed by him, Ryker called my name. I turned back and replied, “Yeah?”

  “Congratulations on the news about Peyton’s baby,” he said. “You might be shit at figuring out some of this relationship stuff, but I think you’ll be a pretty good uncle.”

  I appreciated his attempt to lighten the mood. Letting out a small laugh, I returned, “Thanks.”

  With that, I walked away.

  And when I made it to the office, I realized that Avery had already left for the day.

  That wasn’t going to stop me.

  I walked outside, hopped in my vehicle, and pulled out of the lot.

  Then I drove straight to her place.

  The only problem was that when I got there, she wasn’t.

  I couldn’t do it.

  I couldn’t sit around and prepare for the worst-case scenario.

  I had to know what he wanted. I needed Knox to tell me where we stood.

  Most of all, I needed the opportunity to apologize to him. I’d been completely unfair to him on Saturday, and he needed to know just how sorry I was for treating him the way that I did.

  So, I couldn’t do it.

  After work, I went home and stayed there for about thirty minutes before I decided to hop back in my truck and leave.

  Now I was here, sitting outside his place. I’d been waiting a while for him to come home. Since I hadn’t spoken to him, I didn’t know if he had plans to stay late working tonight, but I was hoping he wouldn’t.

  Because I wasn’t sure how much longer I could wait. I’d so quickly changed my mind from the moment I was in the shop feeling like I needed to prepare for the fact that he might not want to try to make this work. But once I got home and started to really consider that reality, it became too painful. So, I decided I wasn’t going to do that.

  Sure, he could still say that it was over. But if that was how it was going to be, I needed him to tell me that. He needed to tell me to my face. And I needed to know sooner rather than later because I couldn’t continue to stay in limbo like this.

  If I was being completely honest, I already believed the worst. While I had no doubt his confirmation of it would be incredibly difficult to accept, it was what I needed so I could do what I had to do to move on.

  Of course, I wouldn’t really be moving on in the sense that I’d find someone else.

  No way.

  Not at all.

  If Knox was done with me, I was done.

  I couldn’t do this again. It was too hard. Too painful.

  I couldn’t deal with the loss.

  But I’d move on in a way that would simply allow me to find some peace. If nothing else, I’d found a great friend in Kendall, and I hoped I’d be able to remain friends with the rest of the guys at LT Motorsports.

  Romantic relationships were done, though.

  My heart simply couldn’t take it.

  Time passed and Knox never showed. It was getting later and later, and I didn’t want to be waiting around when it got dark out.

  So, as much as I didn’t want to do it, I decided to head home. I would have tried calling him but didn’t think it was wise to approach him that way. We needed to talk to each other face to face.

  Besides, it would have been too easy for him to ignore my call. At least if he saw me, he’d have to say something. Or, if nothing else, he would at least be able to see my face when I apologized.

  Because I had every intention of doing at least that much.

  My emotions got the best of me, and I lashed out. It had sort of become my defense mechanism over the years. If I was shouting and angry, at least I couldn’t cry.

  I turned onto my street and drove down the road. As I approached my house, an unexpected sight came into view.

  Knox’s vehicle was there. In my driveway.

  And as I got closer I saw him sitting there on the front stoop. He was hunched over, his elbows resting on his thighs, his hands clasped in front of his face.

  An uneasy feeling came over me.

  When I had been sitting at his place, waiting for him, I felt so much more confident than I did right now.

  Was this the beginning of the end for us? Is this how it would happen? Outside my childhood home… the place I hadn’t been able to leave because it was the only place I had left that held all my good memories.

  I took several slow, deep breaths as I pulled my truck into the driveway. Knox’s head came up, and I was terrified because I couldn’t read the look on his face.

  After I gave myself a moment to take in the sight of him, I swallowed hard, curled my fingers around the door handle, and got out.

  By the time I made it over to where he was, Knox was standing. For the longest time, the two of us simply stared at one another. I started to wonder if it was because we both knew this was it, and neither of us had the courage to make the first move.

  It didn’t matter to me. I’d stand here all night if I had to, just so I could avoid seeing him walk away from me.

  But after several minutes of silence passed, Knox blurted, “I love you.”

  My head jerked back as my eyes began blinking rapidly. “What?”

  “I’m sorry,” he croaked. “I’m so sorry about what happened on Saturday morning, and I’m sorry for walking away from you. It’s been just over two days, and never in my life have I ever felt this miserable.”

  He loved me?

  I couldn’t concentrate on much of what he was saying because I was still stuck on those three words.

  Knox loved me.

  He loved me.

  Tears formed in my eyes.

  When Knox didn’t say anything else, I knew I needed to. So, I said the first thing that came to my mind.

  “I love you, too.”

  Relief swept through him, but I barely had the chance to take notice of it because he stepped forward, slid his arms around me, and pulled me close to him. My fingers gripped his shirt at his sides as he buried his face in my neck.

  Knox held on to me like he was afraid I was going to disappear if he let me go.

  Twisting my neck, I turned my face toward his. He pulled his away from my neck and allowed me to kiss him.

  The sweet relief I felt having my mouth pressed against his was indescribable. I loved Knox. And he loved me.

  I needed him. I needed him like I was suffocating and he was fresh air. As wonderful as his kiss was, it wasn’t enough.

  Pulling away just a touch, I begged, “Please come inside.”

  Knox dipped his chin.

  With my keys firmly in my grasp, I quickly unlocked my door and let us in. Then, without a word, I took him by the hand and led him to my bathroom. Once there, I turned on the shower and started stripping.

  Knox’s eyes heated as he did the same.

  We didn’t say anything to each other. We didn’t need any words. At least, I knew I didn’t. Not then. Not yet. I just needed him.

  The second the water had warmed up and we were both completely naked, I stepped inside the shower. Knox followed me in. He barely got the curtain pulled shut when I threw my arms over his shoulders, pressed my body tight to his, and started kissing him again.

  He felt amazing.

  Having his hands running all over my body again as his tongue explored my mouth was undoing me. And yet, it still wasn’t enough.

  “Knox,” I breathed, tearing my mouth from his.

  “Avery,” he returned, his voice husky.

  My eyes sea
rched his. All I could see was the intensity, desire, and love in them.

  “Make love to me,” I whispered.

  “I need to get a condom,” he replied.

  I shook my head. “I’m on birth control,” I told him. “I want this with you. Please let me feel you.”

  Knox hesitated for all of two seconds before he lifted me in his strong, muscular arms and pressed my back against the wall. With one arm around my waist, he used his free hand to position himself. Then he brought his eyes to mine and pushed inside.

  I wanted to cry at how good he felt.

  “Knox,” I said, my voice filled with such emotion, hoping he understood the meaning behind the emotion.

  “I know, baby,” he returned. “I know.”

  He knew.

  At that, I couldn’t think about anything else. I just got lost in him. In us. In the movement of our bodies as we touched and kissed. Knox kept it slow and sensual. It was as though he was trying to extend the reunion and commit every part of it to his memory.

  I didn’t mind how he chose to do it.

  All that mattered to me was that he was here and he loved me. As long as I had that, we could figure out the rest.

  Knox continued to thrust his hips forward, moving inside me, as my hands roamed over the wet skin of his shoulders and chest. But each time he captured my mouth with his, my fingers would drift up into his hair.

  Despite the slow, languid movements, Knox still managed to build me up. I knew it was the result of everything he was doing to my body and everything I was feeling. Too many emotions came to the surface, and there was nothing I could do about it but to feel it all.

  When my breathing started to grow shallow, Knox pulled back just a touch to look at me. He kept one arm firmly planted around my waist to support my weight while his other hand came up and captured my breast.

  I moaned at the sensation his firm yet gentle touch invoked. And as he stroked his thumb back and forth over my nipple with his eyes burning into mine, I couldn’t stop my breaths from becoming more and more ragged.

  “Knox,” I cried out in warning.

  Sensing I was on the verge of losing control, Knox increased his pace. The quickening of his thrusts, the teasing flicks of his finger over my nipple, and the dark intensity in his eyes were the perfect recipe for an instant orgasm.

  And that’s precisely what happened.

  Knox powered forward as my body began to tremble at the delicious pleasure he was delivering. My belly tightened as my moans became whimpers.

  Then every limb, top to toe, shook and quaked as each wave of my orgasm tore through me.

  And right in the middle of it, Knox’s grip on me intensified as he found his release, brought his mouth to mine, and kissed me.

  I swallowed his groans of pleasure, taking everything he was giving me as the final tremors left my body.

  For a long time afterward, Knox stayed there with his forehead pressed against mine and his eyes closed.

  When he finally decided to speak, the sound of his voice broke my heart.

  “I’m sorry for walking away from you.”

  I tried to swallow past the lump that had formed in my throat. We still had so much to discuss, so much to work through, but hearing that I knew. I knew Knox would never walk away from me again. At least, not without fighting for what we had between us with everything he had.

  Running my fingers through his damp hair, I urged his head back so I could look into his eyes. Once he was focused on me, I gave him a small smile and suggested, “Let’s get cleaned up so we can go talk.”

  Knox gave me several quick nods before he pulled out and carefully lowered me to my feet. I held onto him for a few additional seconds so I could press a couple kisses to his chest right over his heart. Then I stepped back, and we finished in the shower.

  Quite some time after we’d spoken our first words to one another outside, Knox and I were sitting on the couch in the family room. Knowing we needed to have a conversation, I thought it was best to stay out of the bedroom.

  For what seemed like ages, neither of us said a word. But because he’d been the one breaking the silence the entire time, I decided it was my turn to do it.

  “I’m sorry, too,” I finally declared.

  Knox’s face grew curious. There was also a hint of surprise there, too.

  Realizing he never expected to hear those words from me, I thought he deserved an explanation.

  “I never gave you the opportunity to explain what happened Saturday morning,” I started. “I was too hurt, feeling like you’d blown me off and broken your promise, that I couldn’t see anything else. You didn’t deserve that, and I feel horrible for having treated you that way.”

  “You had every right to be upset with me,” he returned. “I changed plans with you five minutes before I was supposed to be here without an explanation. And even though I made it to the track before your first pass, it was just as you said. You had no idea I was there.”

  While I appreciated his grace and acceptance of my apology and reaction, I couldn’t stop myself from wondering why we were even here to begin with.

  “What happened?” I asked.

  He smiled and shared, “Peyton’s pregnant.”

  My eyes widened. “Your sister?”

  Knox dipped his chin.

  “Congratulations,” I declared. “That’s so exciting.” Of course, no sooner did I get the words out when I realized that the news of his sister’s pregnancy offered no explanation as to what happened on Saturday morning. Unless… oh God, what if something was wrong with the baby? Suddenly, I felt like nothing more than a selfish and thoughtless woman.

  Why didn’t I give him a chance to explain everything to me that day?

  Why had I only been thinking about myself?

  Swallowing down that tough pill, I rasped, “Is everything okay with her and the baby?”

  “Physically speaking, yes,” he confirmed.

  Relieved, I slumped back on the couch.

  Knox continued, “Peyton called me on Friday and gave me the good news. I couldn’t wait to get here and tell you that I was going to be an uncle. But early Saturday morning, I got a call from my sister. It’s a long story, but essentially, our mother decided she wanted Peyton to choose between having her there or our father there when the baby was born.”

  My lips parted in shock. “Really?” I asked. “Why?”

  “Peyton didn’t know what was going on, so I told her I’d take care of it,” Knox answered. “I didn’t think she needed to be dealing with something stressful. I never meant for it to affect you or us.”

  My eyes dropped to my lap. I felt so ashamed of myself.

  Knox had been dealing with a family crisis while I was busy pouting that he’d stood me up.

  I returned my attention to him when he continued, “I ended up calling my mom and talking to her that morning. The discussion lasted a lot longer than I expected because she decided to share with me that after twenty-five years of them being divorced, she was still in love with my father.”

  That made no sense. “If that’s the case, why wouldn’t she want him there?” I wondered.

  “Because it seems that sometime earlier this year, my dad started dating someone. He’s dated throughout the years, but nothing has ever been serious. Apparently, this one is serious,” he shared.

  I winced. That had to hurt. I felt for his mom. Of course, I didn’t think it was fair for her to put her daughter in the middle of it, but I couldn’t imagine how she must have felt.

  “Why didn’t she tell him the truth about how she felt?”

  Knox shrugged. “Pride, maybe? I honestly don’t know. But she did tell me that the reason they fought so much when Peyton and I were kids was because she purposely found things to complain about. She admitted to me that he was a good man, one she’s never stopped loving, and she always looked for things to criticize about him.”

  That was horrible. I couldn’t even begin to understand how
Knox must have felt to hear his mother tell him that she’d done something that set their family on a path to heartbreak, especially when she never stopped loving the man of her dreams.

  “That morning in your trailer,” Knox went on. “You reminded me of her.”

  I gasped and felt the full strike of that blow like a punch to the gut.

  Something tells me that even if I had been at your house first thing this morning, it would have been something else down the road that I would have done to screw up. And you’d live your life constantly waiting for it to happen.

  The words he’d said to me in my trailer that morning came at me full force. At the time, I hadn’t realized the significance of them. But now I understood. He’d just admitted it.

  I felt sick.

  Knox thought I was like his mother. He thought I was purposely trying to find things to criticize and fight with him about. Obviously, now that I knew the story, I realized just how horribly selfish and uncaring I’d been, but to know he thought I was seeking out reasons to argue with him or find faults with him hurt my heart.

  My body tensed and I started to stand up from the couch.

  “Avery, listen to me,” he ordered.

  I stopped moving and redirected my attention to him.

  “Ryker made me realize how wrong I was,” he said.

  “Ryker?” I asked.

  “He obviously doesn’t know the ins and outs of my parents’ relationship, but apparently, he’s dealt with some heartache of his own,” Knox started. “Ryker pointed out the fact that whether my mom was being unreasonable in her expectations with my father or not, there was something she needed. Something that perhaps my father didn’t seem to understand, but something he also never asked her about.”

  I didn’t understand why he was telling me this. Quite frankly, it was really hard to concentrate on anything because I was still stuck on the fact that he thought I was intentionally trying to damage what we had.

  “I don’t know why you’re telling me this, Knox,” I replied, my voice wounded.

  “Avery, I love you.”

  At his declaration, I felt the tears welling in my eyes.

  “As the man who loves you as much as I do, I need to be mindful of the things you need,” he began. “After everything you’ve been through, I know you need reassurance that someone is always going to be there for you.”