The Five-Year Plan: The utterly heart-warming and feel good rom com of 2020

by Carla Burgess

  ‘No! I just … I don’t … I’m …’ I break off, flustered.

  ‘See, that’s the problem with women. You’re always looking ahead. Five days, five weeks, five years. I haven’t got a clue where I’ll be in five years. I could be dead for all I know. Eaten by a lion or trampled by a hippopotamus.’

  ‘Well, that’s a cheery thought.’

  ‘No point worrying about it though, is there? I can’t change it.’

  ‘You could if you settled down in Ireland with a nice wife and kids.’ I smile mischievously.

  ‘Not necessarily. I could get knocked down by a bus instead of a hippo. Makes no odds where you are. When you’re number’s up, it’s up. Besides,’ he goes on, ignoring my look of complete disbelief, ‘even if it wasn’t my job, I don’t think I could stay in one place for very long anyway. I’m a nomad. I love travelling and moving from place to place. I hate being confined to four walls and I love sleeping under canvas, even under the stars if the weather permits.’

  ‘You’re a very strange man,’ I say, shaking my head. ‘You’re a wild thing.’

  He shrugs, unconcerned by my assessment.

  ‘So what was your point again? I need to sleep with Phil to get promoted?’

  ‘Would that make you happy?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘So no, then. Only do what makes you happy. Stop overthinking things. Live in the moment. Live your life for now, not for five years’ time.’

  ‘I think I’ll stick to my plan, thanks,’ I say primly, finishing half my sandwich and laying down my knife and fork.

  ‘But what if you meet your ideal man in that time, but you say no, you’re too busy with your Very Important Career, so he goes off and has babies with someone else.’ He gasps dramatically and covers his mouth one hand while flapping the other at me in a rather camp way. ‘Oh my God, what if it’s your best friend or your sister that he has babies with and you have to live the rest of your life watching him play happy families with someone else, knowing he was your one true love?’

  ‘Will you stop!’ I gape at him for a moment. ‘For God’s sake, Aiden! We’ve literally just met. One week, that’s all, and suddenly here I am, sitting opposite you in a café, talking about things that I don’t discuss with anyone.’

  Aiden laughs. ‘Why not? Surely you discuss sex with your friends. What about that Katie from upstairs? Or is she one of the ones that are so wrapped up in their boyfriends they change their whole lives and have no time to talk to you anymore, until they’re heartbroken and crying and you pick up the pieces?’

  ‘No, not really. Katie gets obsessed very easily but loses interest just as quick. She just decides they weren’t the right one and moves on to the next. She’s your ideal woman, probably.’

  ‘Doubtful.’

  I smile and toy with the handle on my cup. It’s only then that I realise the time. ‘Oh my God! What time is it? I need to get back to work.’

  ‘It’s alright,’ Aiden says easily, getting to his feet. ‘Just blame it on your ankle.’

  ‘No, no! I’m never late back from lunch.’

  ‘Calm down.’ He glances at his watch. ‘Look, it’s only five to two. What time are you meant to be back? Two?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘You’ll make it. It’s only up the road.’

  ‘Not with this ankle.’

  ‘Then they’ll understand.’ He takes my shoulders and makes me look at him. ‘Breathe. It’s going to be fine.’

  I look into Aiden’s eyes, and suddenly I do feel calmer and more grounded. He’s right, Phil won’t mind if I’m not back at my desk exactly at two. In fact, I have a feeling he’s in a meeting this afternoon anyway, and won’t even notice if I’m late or not.

  ‘Okay.’ I nod. ‘Okay.’

  ‘Good, come on then, let’s go.’

  We call goodbye to the staff behind the counter and Sexy Coffee Guy looks up and smiles. My stomach drops and I’m uncertain whether it’s desire or fear or something else, but for the first time in a long, long while, Aiden’s made me consider the possibility that I could date him or someone else, if I wanted to, and it wouldn’t be that much of a big deal.

  ‘What are you doing this weekend then?’ Aiden asks as we walk up the road towards the camera shop.

  ‘Resting my stupid ankle. What about you?’

  ‘I’m out with my mate, Keaton, tonight. You know the sensory forest guy?’

  ‘Oh yeah, you went to see him the other day, didn’t you? How’s it going?’

  ‘It’s looking good. Actually, you can help us out tomorrow, if you like? The path is now decked for wheelchair users, so you can come and try it out.’

  ‘What? In a wheelchair?’

  ‘Yeah, he’s got one we can try.’

  ‘Anyone can do that. Why do you need me?’

  ‘You want to write an article about it, don’t you? You may as well get the full sensory experience while you’re still laid up with your ankle. I’ll pick you up at eleven.’

  ‘Oh, okay then!’

  We pause next to the camera shop where Aiden’s going to pick up his lens. Although I know I’m going to be late back to work, I find myself lingering next to him, searching for more to say. I know I’ll be seeing him tomorrow, but I still don’t want to leave him. He’s watching me, smiling gently, his hair moving gently in the breeze. We stand for a moment, just looking at each other, both unwilling to leave.

  ‘See you in the morning?’ he says at last.

  ‘Okay.’ I smile brightly. ‘Enjoy your evening.’

  ‘You too.’

  I start to move away, resisting the strange pull in my gut urging me to stay. I’ll have to be careful else I might find myself starting to fancy him!

  Chapter 8

  Aiden picks me up the following morning and drives us through the bright spring sunshine to his friend’s sensory woodland. My ankle is feeling much better this morning, and I can put more weight on it, so I feel a bit of a fraud when they force me into the wheelchair that’s waiting at the end of the path, ready for me to get out of the truck. It’s a good-sized woodland, situated next to a primary school and close to one of the new housing estates. Aiden introduces me to his friend, Keaton, who has long brown dreadlocks and several facial piercings, and is wearing a huge multi-coloured jumper. He greets me with a warm, patchouli-scented hug that makes me feel stupidly happy. I like him immediately.

  ‘So, you’re the girl that Aiden keeps talking about,’ he says with a sly glance towards Aiden.

  ‘What are you talking about? I’ve mentioned her, like, twice!’ Aiden says as he pushes me slowly towards a large rainbow-shaped sign painted with the words ‘Welcome to the Magical Woodland’. Carved wooden toadstools of various heights line the sides of the path, their flat tops designed so they can be used as stepping stones by the more adventurous children. The cool breeze whispers through the leaves of the sycamore and beech trees, and the low notes of a bamboo windchime can be heard from somewhere inside.

  ‘And the rest. You’re all he talked about last night, you know.’ Keaton grins down at me, the sun glinting off the gold hoop through his left eyebrow. I feel myself blushing and I don’t know how to react, but luckily Aiden jumps in before I have to say anything.

  ‘No, I didn’t. Orla, ignore him. He’s just stirring.’

  I tip my head back to look at him and laugh.

  ‘Oh yes you did,’ Keaton continues. ‘Orla this, Orla that. All night.’

  ‘It would be odd if I didn’t mention Orla, seeing as we’d had lunch together yesterday and were coming here today,’ Aiden says crisply. ‘All I can remember is you banging on about this place. Talking about the owl you’ve carved and the badger and the fox.’

  ‘Hey! Banging on? That’s rude.’

  Aiden laughs. ‘You’re rude. Poor Orla. Think how she feels. She’s only just met you and already you’re making her uncomfortable.’

  ‘No I’m not, am I, Orla? She just needs to be warned about your w
ily ways, that’s all.’

  ‘Wily ways? What wily ways?’

  ‘You know!’ Keaton winks at me. ‘Tripping her up so you can take her to the hospital. You should be ashamed of yourself.’

  ‘Oh yeah, sure I did.’ Aiden huffs.

  ‘I can assure you, Keaton, I really did step in a rabbit hole,’ I say. ‘And besides, I truly doubt that poor Aiden wanted to carry me up that hill to his truck. It was pretty hard going.’

  Keaton laughs. ‘Alright then. I’m only joking. This is my girlfriend, Mia, by the way,’ he says, as we stop by the shadowy entrance to the woodland and a girl with short, cropped hair and a huge smile appears from between the trees.

  ‘Hi, Mia.’

  ‘Hello. Welcome to our Magical Woodland Experience,’ she says, waggling her fingers at the sign above our heads. ‘You’re our first visitor. Well, apart from Aiden, but he doesn’t count.’

  ‘I feel a bit of a fraud in this wheelchair. My ankle’s much better now.’

  ‘Yes, but you’re doing us a big favour by going round our woods in it. We’re hoping there’ll be no issues, but if any of the corners are too sharp, or if it gets stuck anywhere, or bumpy, let us know so we can fix it before we get our first class in next week.’

  ‘It’s opening that soon?’

  ‘Yes, we’re really excited! Are you the reporter from the paper?’

  ‘I am.’

  ‘How exciting!’ Mia giggles and clutches Keaton’s hand. ‘Everything’s designed to be at eye-level for little people and people in wheelchairs, so hopefully that will work out.’

  ‘Okay.’

  I’m quite excited as Aiden pushes me into the shady tunnel of the woodland and we start our tour. The first thing we come to is a carved wooden fox family, with a wooden plaque with some facts about foxes.

  ‘Wow! That’s amazing. Did you do that, Keaton?’

  ‘I did the mother fox. Mia did the two cubs.’

  ‘Wow! You’re both so clever!’

  ‘I know, right?’ Keaton flashes a cheeky grin at Aiden.

  Aiden groans. ‘Oh, please, Orla! Don’t make his head any bigger than it already is.’

  ‘Hey man, that’s just the dreads. Aiden helped loads too. We couldn’t have got it finished on time without him.’

  ‘Ah, thank you.’

  We move along the path, through a willow tunnel, emerging next to a bug hotel and a metallic bee sculpture surrounded by bee-friendly flowers and a plaque with facts about bees.

  ‘We’ve done a fact-finder trail as well so it’s more interactive for the older kids,’ Mia tells me.

  ‘I love the bee. Who did that?’

  ‘Another artist friend of ours.’

  ‘It’s beautiful.’

  ‘Yeah, she’s really passionate about bees and how important it is for us to be saving them, so she was the obvious choice. We’ve been trying to set her up with Aiden, but he’s having none of it.’

  ‘Oh really?’ I laugh. ‘Have they met?’

  ‘Once.’ Aiden’s voice is flat with disinterest. ‘She was nice, but no, not for me.’

  ‘Well, who is for you, dear Aiden?’ Mia asks sweetly.

  ‘No one. Like I said to Orla yesterday, I am destined to walk this world alone.’

  ‘Cursed, you said,’ I correct.

  ‘Yeah, whatever.’

  Mia and Keaton laugh as we continue on past a family of wooden badgers. Shiny spiral wind spinners hang from the trees, catching the light as they twirl in the breeze.

  ‘Is the boardwalk okay, Orla? Not too bumpy?’

  ‘Not at all. It’s really smooth. Is that a hedgehog house?’ I ask, bending to peer into the bushes where I spy a small domed wicker hide.

  ‘Yes, well spotted.’

  ‘I was tipped off by the hedgehog fact sign,’ I admit.

  ‘Ah, cheat.’

  Laughing, we carry on through the woods, stopping to admire more carved wooden animals along the way. The trail is full of things for the children to explore and get involved in, things to see, feel and hear. There’s even a scenting station where children have to identify things by their smell. Aiden tries to tell me it’s different types of animal poo, but Mia assures me it will be flowers and herbs. As well as animal facts, they’ve provided information on how to identify the different types of trees and shrubs in the woods too.

  ‘Wow, this is amazing,’ I keep repeating as I’m wheeled through the wood. ‘Will it be restricted to school visits, or can families come too?’

  ‘Just school visits for now. As well as the sensory path, we’re going to offer bushcraft and pond dipping sessions.’

  ‘You have a pond?’

  ‘Yes, quite a large one. It’s fenced off at the back so the children can’t fall in.’

  ‘Oh, wait there,’ Keaton says, rushing ahead. ‘I’m just going to switch something on.’

  ‘What is it?’

  ‘Bubbles!’ he cries as hundreds of bubbles start appearing out of bushes from either side of the pathway. He dances around joyfully, arms held aloft. ‘Aren’t they fabulous?’

  ‘You’re so embarrassing, Keaton!’ Mia scolds. ‘I’m sorry about him, Orla. He’s supposed to be a grown man, but really he’s just a big kid.’

  ‘It’s fine,’ I say, laughing. ‘I’d be dancing too if my stupid ankle was better.’

  ‘It’s improving though, isn’t it?’

  ‘Yes, I can put weight on it today. I don’t think it’s up to dancing though.’

  Mia grabs hold of Keaton, pulling him into a hug.

  ‘Alright, you two. Get a room!’ Aiden says.

  ‘Okay, Mr Grumpy! Just because you’ve sworn off women for the rest of your life, don’t expect everyone else to do the same.’

  ‘I don’t! In fact, just yesterday I was trying to convince Orla to ask the guy she fancies in the coffee shop out on a date.’

  ‘That’s not what you said at all!’ I protest. ‘And no, I will not be asking him on a date.’

  ‘Oh, come on, you can’t be waiting for him to make his move. Women’s lib and all that. How long have you been eyeing him up for now? Weeks? Months?’

  ‘Few weeks,’ I mutter, embarrassed by Keaton and Mia’s sudden interest. ‘He’s probably got a girlfriend.’

  ‘You don’t know until you ask.’ Aiden laughs, clearly enjoying my discomfort.

  ‘Yeah, but what if he says no and I’m too embarrassed to go in there again? Where will I get my morning coffee from then?’

  ‘Just brazen it out. No harm done.’ Aiden looks at Keaton, who nods in agreement. Mia looks a little more sympathetic.

  ‘Oh yeah! Besides, I told you, I just like looking at him. I don’t actually want to go on a with date him. I’m too busy and it would be horribly awkward and embarrassing.’

  ‘Oh, stop with the too busy!’ Aiden says. ‘And why would it be horribly awkward and embarrassing? Who or what have you dated before that’s made you think that?’

  ‘First dates always are, aren’t they? Besides, I’ve heard enough horror stories from Katie to put me off for life.’

  ‘It’s never put her off, has it?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘And she’s got a nice boyfriend now?’

  ‘Allegedly.’

  ‘Well then.’

  I pull a face. ‘I like being single. I like my own space. Do you miss being single, Mia?’ I ask, when I catch her watching me curiously.

  ‘I can’t really remember being single,’ she says, looking bewildered. ‘Keaton and I’ve been together since we were 13.’

  ‘Thirteen!’ I gasp. ‘My goodness. How old are you now?’

  ‘Twenty-six.’

  ‘Wow! That’s amazing!’

  ‘Well, when it’s right, it’s right,’ Mia says simply. She smiles up at Keaton and he kisses her nose.

  ‘Bleurgh!’ Aiden makes puking noises from behind me before steering me round them and marching off through the bubbles. ‘Hey, I want to go slowly through this bit!’
I say, trying to catch some of the soft, iridescent spheres as they fall slowly around me.

  Aiden breaks sharply and reverses back beneath the bubbles, almost tipping me out of the wheelchair as I’m flung forward.

  ‘Hey!’

  ‘You wanted bubbles, you’ve got bubbles!’

  ‘I’ve got more bubbles than I need now,’ I say as they start to land and pop, leaving wet marks on my top and dribbling down my cheeks. ‘Move on.’

  ‘No pleasing some people!’ he mutters, pushing me forward. ‘This corner’s a bit sharp,’ he shouts back to Keaton as we round a corner at the edge of the wood near the pond.

  ‘This is the one I was worried about,’ Keaton says, watching as Aiden reverses me back and tries the corner again.

  ‘It’s fine with me pushing it, but if it’s a child in an electric wheelchair, or even a manual one, do you think they might struggle to get round? You don’t want them tipping off.’

  ‘No.’ Keaton looks horrified at the thought and the pair of them spend a couple of minutes discussing how they could reduce the angle.

  ‘Why can’t you just make this bit wider?’ I suggest, looking down at the boardwalk beneath the wheels. ‘That way it will give them more room to manoeuvre without tipping off.’

  ‘Hmm, that could work.’

  ‘See, not just a pretty face,’ Aiden says, tipping the wheelchair back suddenly so he can look at me. I scream and clutch the armrests.

  ‘Oh my God, Aiden! Don’t ever become a carer!’

  Aiden laughs. ‘Hey, don’t be mean! I did a perfectly good job when you were properly laid up and I had to wheel you around the hospital.’

  ‘Of course you did. I’m sorry.’

  We make our way to the end of the woodland path, spotting more carved wooden animals and a willow deer looking out from beneath the tree trunks.

  ‘Well, thank you for that,’ I say, getting out of the wheelchair and standing on one foot. ‘That was really lovely. I’m so impressed with it.’

  ‘Make sure you give us a good write-up then!’

  ‘Of course, I will. It’s a wonderful place. I’m in awe of your talents.’

  ‘Aww shucks, you’ll make us blush,’ Keaton says, not looking in the least embarrassed. He throws an arm around Mia’s shoulders as they wave us off in Aiden’s truck.