The Clockwork Heart

by T Ariyanna

  “Yeah, sure. That’s what you want us to think, so we can agree that we don't trust each other and that we're all just being stupid. I've got my eye on you, kid. You so much as wipe your snot away when you start crying, and I'll take you down.”

  “I'm not too eager to betray the first people I've known that haven't greeted me with a sharp object of some sort. So you can relax. Besides, you really think I'm in any shape to be a threat to you?” Void stopped and lifted the side of his shirt. Ribs protruded from his sides, nearly breaking the skin that was stretched over them. His filthy pants kept falling from his waist, and bone thin legs could be seen through tears in the fabric. His thin white hair was grimy, stuck together with hardened globs of some white substance. Dark shadows on his face created a great contrast with his piercing white eyes.

  “We need to help him, Cy,” Kaitlyn started. “He needs food, and water. New clothes, too. We have extras, just give him a pair of…”

  “No. He isn't getting anything of his. Not while I'm still alive.” Cy cut her off, glaring with the most malicious intent at Void, but the boy was as emotionless as ever. Cy tightened his grip on the bag that had been delivered to them at the edge of Centric. Snow had brought them one of their packs from the journey, and it came with a letter of anger from Theresa that practically screamed at them itself.

  Kaitlyn stared Cy down. “Cy, we're helping him. Give me the bag, and I'll find something for him.” She held her hand out. With a growl, Cy flung the bag to her.

  Cy looked away, his arms crossed over his chest, as Kaitlyn searched through the bag. She handed Void a small pile of clothes. Cy peered over his shoulder to see Void stripping with no shame, and Kaitlyn blushing as he did, and she awkwardly averted her gaze.

  Cy shook his head and turned away again. Is she going to dress him, too, like the brat that he is? Cy thought snidely.

  Kaitlyn's scream shook him out of his anger, and he turned and bolted for them in one movement.

  He tackled Void to the ground on his stomach, twisting one arm behind the boy. Kaitlyn was staring at Void's back with her hands covering her mouth, her face gone completely pale. Once Cy had confirmed that she was safe, he was able to see why she had screamed.

  Void's back was covered with an immeasurable number of scars. There were thick scars that looked like they were from whipping, and thin slash marks from knives. The tops of his shoulders were mangled and twisted from burns, and a strange pattern like stitching overlapped his spine.

  “What…what happened to you?” Kaitlyn finally breathed.

  “Crestyss and his demon, Grite,” Void said simply, seemingly uninjured under Cy's weight.

  “They did this to you? I…I can't even tell what some of this is from.” Kaitlyn stepped forward and ran her fingers over the scars on his spine. He shivered under her touch, but remained expressionless.

  “That's from when they put my…actually, it's best if you don't know,” Void said, watching Kaitlyn's tortured expression.

  “You want us to trust us, then you speak. The more you hide from us, the more suspicious you look,” Cy said, shaking Void once.

  Void glared at him, then back at Kaitlyn. With a sigh, he said, “From when they put my skin back on my body.”

  “What?” Kaitlyn gasped, stepping away. Tears leaked down her cheeks, but she made no noise.

  Void continued. “Do you want to know what else they've done? They did something to me so I can’t die, but I can’t remember anything. They used to hang me for days, my neck healing and breaking over and over again. Dismemberment and reattachment, that was Grite's favorite. He would drown me in my own blood afterwards.”

  “Enough!” Cy said, slamming his face into the dirt. Kaitlyn was sobbing now, her hands clamped over her ears. Cy leaned down and said in Void's ear so Kaitlyn wouldn't hear, “You make her cry or scream again, and I'll make sure you die. They wanted you for something, but I've got no reason to keep you around any longer.”

  For a second, Void looked fearful, but it slipped from him just as Cy saw it in his eyes. With another shove, Cy stood and went to comfort Kaitlyn. Void changed his clothes. It disgusted Cy to see him dressed like Arion, but after what Void had put Kaitlyn through, he wasn't about to argue with her now.

  “Don't kill him,” Kaitlyn breathed, calm now that Void's scars were out of sight. She watched as the boy struggled to button up the shirt she had given him, and gave up halfway, leaving most of his chest bare. His hands were shaking. They looked scarred, but Cy didn't dare ask.

  “Look at him, Cy. You saw what they did to him, and that's just what shows. We can't let him get taken back by them. We just can't,” Kaitlyn begged. “Please, be nice. I know you're angry that we missed this chance to save Arion because of me, but we'll figure something else out. Just please, try to get along.”

  Cy let out his breath and nodded, and Kaitlyn smiled at him. She traced the wound on his face lightly. “This still hasn’t healed,” she said quietly.

  “The blade was heated with magic. I’ll have to cut off the burnt bits before it’ll heal, but it can wait till later.” Cy peered over Kaitlyn’s shoulder to see Void watching them intently. He held Cy’s gaze long enough to catch Kaitlyn’s attention as well.

  Kaitlyn left Cy to help Void with the rest of his buttons, and fixed his collar. Void watched her fix his clothing. He looked lost in the new clothes, and it reminded Cy of how Arion looked the last time he had seen him.

  Void

  Kaitlyn had fallen asleep quickly. He only had to wait until Cy slept. He wasn't sure if the demon ever would, but his magic dimmed eventually, and the demon became unresponsive.

  Cy had the bag through most of the day, and kept it with him late into the night. Void held his breath and pulled the bag from Cy's side, and began to rummage through it. They have to have a knife in here somewhere. Cut off the burnt pieces, that’s what he said.

  In a hidden pouch at the back of the bag, he found a small hunting knife tucked away. He pulled it out and examined it in the moonlight. This will work.

  He glanced at Cy and wondered how easily the blade would cut through the metal body, if at all. He shook his head with disappointment, and turned to Kaitlyn. She looked so peaceful in her sleep. Void found himself wondering if he ever looked like that. He could never feel peace. Only a dull, numbing sensation throughout his entire body. It was strongest in his chest, as though there was a physical barrier inside of him that kept his heart from working the way it was supposed to. He knew how he was meant to feel and react, but it was literally impossible for him, though the amount of emotion slipping through his cracks recently had been surprising him.

  He crawled away from the two, the knife held firmly in his hand. He found a large rock and hovered over it, placing his right hand in a beam of moonlight. He angled the knife perfectly over his fingers, aiming just below the scarred flesh covering the tips of his fingers. He sliced through the flesh slowly at first, sawing away at the muscle and bone. White blood splattered onto the rock, and Void bit the inside of his cheek to keep himself silent. I've been put through worse by Grite, so why does this hurt so damn much?

  Cutting through the bone with only the knife was slow going, so he dropped the knife to the rock and lifted his hand to his mouth. He placed the exposed bone of his finger on his molars, his bitter blood sliding down his throat. He closed his eyes, then bit through the bone, groaning through the pain. It broke off in jagged edges that punctured his gums and stuck there. He yanked his hand from his mouth, ripping out a chunk of flesh from his gums. He spat the severed fingertip onto the rock, and swallowed the blood and bone chips in his mouth.

  Nine more to go, he told himself, and set to work on the other fingers on his right hand. The pain only got worse as the minutes passed. He could feel the flesh growing over splinters of bone that had gotten wedged under his teeth. Tears leaked down his cheeks, but his right hand was done and already healing.

  He shifted the knife over to his right hand awkwardly
, it shaking with the pain. Blood covered his palm, and he struggled to hold the blade steady. He made several incisions on his left hand, none of them hitting the mark he was aiming for. With a short yell, and brought the knife down with all of his force on his fingers. He was able to cut through the bone with one swipe, though he had taken off more than he had intended. The fingers hung by strands of muscle, and they flailed wildly as his hand shook. He lowered the mostly detached fingers into his mouth, and ripped them off with one sharp jerk of his head.

  The pain had become too much for him at the end, and he screamed in pain. Kaitlyn stirred awake, and she caught sight of him. She got to her feet woozily and made her way to him with a sleepy smile on her face. He stood and threw his hands behind his back, hiding the bleeding stubs along with the knife. He could only hope that she wouldn't notice the mess on the rock behind him, or the blood that dribbled down his chin.

  “Wha' are you still doin' awake, silly? You need to get your rest,” she said, her words garbled by sleep. She grabbed his arm and slid her hand down to his wrist. Before he could pull away or stop her, she reached his hand and intertwined her fingers with his. She stopped short and pulled their hands into view. Her eyes shown with concern and fear, all hints of sleep chased away.

  When she got a glimpse of his hand, she screamed and shoved him. He fell over the rock behind him, the dagger falling to the ground. He turned to catch it, the remaining stubs from his fingers spilling from his mouth. He hit the ground and the dagger pierced straight into his hand as he fell, sticking into the bone.

  He twisted over himself to look back at Kaitlyn to explain, but Cy was standing in her place. She was hiding behind him, latched onto his shoulders. Void raised his right hand protectively. Small black claws growing from his fingers shone in the light.

  “What did I tell you about making her scream again? What the hell are you even doing, you little shit?” Cy lunged for him and pulled Void to his feet. Kaitlyn backed away as Void drew nearer to her.

  Cy grabbed the hilt of the blade that was driven through Void's hand, and ripped it out. He threw it behind him, and it buried itself into a tree far from them. He pulled Void’s hand into the light.

  “What the hell would you want to cut off your own fingers for?” Cy hissed, disgust clear in his voice.

  “The first thing they did was cut off my claws, and make it so they wouldn't grow back. He burned them the same way as your face, and you said this was the way to fix it,” Void snapped. He wrenched his hand from Cy's grip and stepped away from him.

  “You sick little freak. I really ought to just kill you now. What else would you need your claws for other than to kill us in our sleep? I bet that was the next thing on your to-do list, wasn't it?”

  “If you're so determined to kill me, then do it. I encourage you, no, I beg you. Kill me!” Void yelled. “Just get it over with, and end me already! You think you scare me with your empty threats, but I want you to do it! After all I've been through, I should be dead at least twenty times over by now. I'm not still alive because they needed me alive, but because they couldn't kill me. So please, if you've got some magic knowledge about how I can finally end myself, then share it with me. You'll be doing both of us a favor! And until you figure out how to actually get it done, just shut up!”

  Void’s face was burning, but Cy could only stare at him. Kaitlyn had fresh tears in her eyes, but she held them back.

  “I thought you were a Void? So what the hell was that all about?”

  “The hell if I know! Maybe you're just rubbing off on me, damn demon!” Void yelled. Cy was silent as he studied Void, and the boy writhed under the demon's gaze.

  Seeing no end to his temper, Void sat on the rock next to him, ignoring the blood that covered it. He examined the claws that were fully grown, and the faint scar on his palm from the blade. Using his claws, he dug into his gums to relieve himself of the bone shards.

  “The hell are you doing now?” Cy asked, disturbed. Kaitlyn had left to stand by a tree far off, refusing to look their way.

  “Picking out the chunks of bone that were lodged in my teeth. You wanna see?” Void held up a piece of bone that he had successfully recovered. His thick blood covered his new claws.

  Cy made a noise of disgust and turned away. He walked off into the distance, and the three of them spent the rest of the night separated. Despite the immense amount of pain he had put himself through, and the new experience of rage, Void smiled. He had been victorious in this night, against Grite and against Cyllorian.

  Kaitlyn

  “I don’t know what you’re so worried about, I fought back in Centric!” Kaitlyn argued, chasing Cy around the small group of trees they had stopped in. It was as though the three of them had gone into their own world, safe from reality that demanded so much from them.

  “That wasn’t supposed to happen. Why can’t you just stay as far away from that thing as possible instead? In fact, let's just leave him here and get back home!” Cy responded as he paced.

  Kaitlyn glanced at Void, finally asleep against a tree. Cy had tied his hands together after Void had cut his fingers off, and they lay in his lap. He looked so peaceful in sleep that it was difficult for Kaitlyn to believe how twisted he had been during the night.

  Kaitlyn shook her head and turned back to Cy. “How many times do I have to tell you that we aren't leaving him behind?” she snapped.

  Cy ceased his pacing. “How many times do I have to say that I don't trust him? And last night just proves which one of us is right. He got into our stuff while we were asleep and could have killed us at any time.”

  “But he didn't. I don't think he ever wanted to.”

  “How do you know? Because he told you he didn't? He’s lying! Of course, he's gonna say he doesn't want to kill us. He's insane, not stupid.”

  “He’s just a little lost. That's why we have to get him back to Theresa. If anyone can help him, she can.”

  “How's this then. We tie him to a tree somewhere, then tell Theresa all about him when we get back. Then she can decide for herself if he's worth the trouble.”

  “You don't make any sense, Cyllorian. You trust me enough to give me a dagger, but not enough to give him a chance?”

  “Because you aren't going to use that dagger. Ever. The main reason you have it is so he doesn't. Besides, a weapon for self-defense can’t betray you.”

  “Self-defense. You sound like Arion. That was his excuse for everything,” Kaitlyn scoffed. She wrapped her hand around the hilt of the dagger, uncomfortable with how it felt in her hand.

  They stood in silence for a long moment, Cy looking uneasy. “This isn’t an ideal situation, Kaitlyn. You know that. We’re lost, exhausted, and without any semblance of a plan. We just can’t keep him.”

  Cy walked away and leaned his forehead against a small tree, balancing against it. He looked like he might fall asleep, but the light of his magic never dimmed.

  Kaitlyn stood with her hands on her hips. She couldn’t argue with him. She threw her hands into the air with a frustrated groan. Her hand hit the dagger at her side, and she ripped it from her belt angrily.

  She curled her fingers around the hilt and threw the sheath to the ground. Cy had cleaned the blade and it shined in her hand. It was heavy. It fit uncomfortably in her hand, and she compared it to the feeling of her claws on her left hand. They were natural for her now, and she could barely remember what normal felt like. This change had been forced upon her, but she didn’t regret it.

  And she didn’t regret her decisions either. She cleared her mind. Crouching low to the ground, she brandished the dagger at her side. With a burst of energy, she charged at Cyllorian.

  He must have heard her moving, because he turned around at the last second. He jumped away from her and she dove under his flailing arms. Twisting in midair, she swiped at his face with her claws. The tips dug into his cheek, piercing into his face. Her back hit the tree and Cy reared away from her, utter shock clear on his face.<
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  “Kaitlyn, what are you doing?!” he shrieked, placing a hand to his cheek.

  “If I can beat you, if I prove that I’m stronger now, then we keep him,” she hissed. She lunged at him again, pushing off the tree for more momentum. Cy caught the knife just before it struck his chest and flung it from Kaitlyn's hands. She abandoned the knife, trading it for the ease of hand-to-hand combat with her claws.

  Her speed surprised even her, but Cy's reaction time was better. She scraped against his metal a few times, but never did any damage to him. With her claws failing her, she dropped to the ground and swung her leg out at Cy. He tried to jump over it, but was just a second too late, and he tripped over her leg. She caught him on her back as he fell, and used the force to flip him onto his back. She jumped on top of him, and put her claws to his throat.

  “I win,” she gasped, catching her breath. A smile formed on her face, triumphant and in awe of herself.

  Cy stared up at her in disbelief, a hint of fear sparking in the back of his eyes. He wasn't breathing, but he was shaking. “You only won because I didn't fight back. You were slow and didn't have any idea what you were doing. If that had been a real fight, you would have been killed within seconds.”

  Kaitlyn climbed off him, and he got to his feet easily. He brushed the dirt from himself, examining all the places Kaitlyn scratched him with her claws.

  “You just don’t want to admit you lost to a girl,” Kaitlyn teased, smiling playfully. She stepped away to retrieve the dagger from the ground, aware of Cy watching her cautiously.

  Cy shot her a lopsided grin. “Rematch,” he breathed. He walked toward a denser section of the trees waving her after him.

  Kaitlyn followed, sparing a look at Void where he slept. He hadn't shifted his position, but as Kaitlyn turned to him, she thought she saw his eyes flutter shut. Did we wake him? she wondered, but she let it go.

  Cy stopped in a section with small saplings a little taller than himself. He motioned for Kaitlyn to stand across from him. She lowered herself in preparation, but Cy didn’t move. She ran at him, aiming for his stomach with the knife.