The Fabulous Zed Watson!

by Basil Sylvester

  “She means as a grave,” Gabe whispered to me.

  “I got it,” I said. My face was burning.

  “You have a great imagination, kid,” Sam said. “Just rein it in a little bit, okay?”

  “Okay,” I said. “But why would @Hi_Its_Another tell me to meet them in South Carolina?”

  “They’re either stupid,” Sam said, “or evil.”

  Just then, Jo walked in covered in grease.

  “Well, I’ve got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?”

  Chapter 23

  Bad News, Okay Grub

  Before we could answer, Jo noticed the computer screen. “Your half hour ended a while back, Zed. You owe another two bucks.”

  I slid two more dollar bills into the slot. I was starting to run low on the cash my mom and dad had given me.

  “Thanks,” Jo said. “I’ll skip to the good news. Dolly Carton will ride again!”

  We gave out a huge cheer.

  “But?” Sam said. “The bad news?”

  “But I need to get a part from another garage owned by a friend of mine. I’ve called and they’ll have it here . . . tomorrow.”

  We gave out a huge groan.

  “That’s it,” I said. “Quest over. Either the book is in South Carolina—”

  “It’s not,” Sam said.

  “Or the historian is racing toward it and will get there first.”

  I wiped my face on my sleeve (another pro of big sweaters) and ran my fingers under my eyes to catch any spare tears. Even Rusty felt like my fault—the car never would have busted if I hadn’t been pushing us to go faster and harder. Basically everything was ruined.

  Gabe put a hand on my shoulder. “Zed, we’re doing all we can. Maybe the historian is reading the site too. Maybe he’s heading to South Carolina!”

  The thought cheered me up a bit. Then my stomach grumbled.

  “Hey, Leslie,” I said. “You don’t have any gourmet food hidden in those boxes, do you?”

  “As a matter of fact . . .”

  My spirits started to rise.

  “No.”

  “Oh.”

  “But I do have a nice stew in the freezer. I’ll see if it’s still any good.”

  We sat around a picnic table in the backyard. Jo had pinned a stained gingham cloth over the table.

  “It’s like Dorothy’s dress!” I said.

  The stew was not bad at all. Chunks of beef. Big bits of veggies for Gabe. And there were other strange things that I needed Leslie to explain.

  “Well, I call it the Oklahoma stew,” he said. “A while back, the state named an official meal with all these different parts. Fried okra.”

  “That’s the long green bit,” Gabe said, slurping one into his mouth.

  Leslie nodded. “And then I kind of throw in other stuff. Some squash. Sausage and gravy with grits. Bits of leftover pork. Chicken-fried steak and black-eyed peas.”

  Jo scooped some into a bowl and handed it to me with a piece of corn bread. “Supposed to reflect all the cuisines from the people who live, or lived, here.”

  “Well, it’s all okay by me!” I said, grabbing a spoonful.

  Jo actually spat out the corn bread she was chewing. “That’s hilarious!” she said.

  I was confused. “What did I say?”

  “You said it was all okay.”

  “And? Sorry, was that an insult? I haven’t even tasted it yet.”

  “It’s not that,” Sam said. “That’s where we are. Okay, Oklahoma!”

  “Okay, Oklahoma,” I repeated. “Seems like another good omen.”

  “You can hope,” she said, and tucked back into her stew.

  After dinner, we lit a huge bonfire. Leslie turned in early.

  “You kids have fun. I’ll see you in the morning.”

  “Not if I see you first,” I said.

  “I like you, kid,” he said. “You’re funny.” He winked again and left, carrying the leftovers in a huge bin. He refused to let any of us help clean up.

  I was thinking about Leslie, the feast, the quest and all sorts of things a bit later. We’d been so close. Had Gabe and I failed? Would we ever find the book? I was shaken out of this latest Zed moment by a huge laugh.

  Sam had her head tossed back, and Jo was smirking.

  “That is funny,” Gabe said, laughing too.

  “What’s funny?” I asked.

  Sam waved a hand. “You had to be there.”

  “I was there! I was just distracted.”

  Jo leaned forward, hands on her knees. “I was just saying that I’ve got some serious dirt on this girl!” She shot a thumb toward Sam.

  Sam and Gabe laughed again.

  “I don’t get it.”

  “DIRT!” Jo prompted. “Get it? Because we’re geologists?”

  It was like a Leslie pun! I laughed. “Funny. In fact, that joke rocked.”

  “Yeah. We really dig your jokes,” Gabe said.

  “Pyrite you are!” Sam added.

  “Ha! Shale I give you another? Ore would you prefer something else?”

  Which, of course, set off another round.

  The pun battle eventually died down, and so did the fire.

  We set up our tents in the twilight, ignoring the hovering bugs, then watched the embers glowing underneath the stars. I had grabbed the marshmallows from the car, and Gabe and I happily made s’mores.

  “How can you two eat so close to bedtime?” Sam asked.

  I pointed at my head. “Our amazing brains need energy.”

  “They need something,” she agreed. Then she gave Jo a hug. “Thanks for saving our butts today.”

  “I haven’t saved anyone’s butts until tomorrow. And it’s nice to have some people around. Been a slow summer.”

  It hit me that we’d been about the only customers to visit the station all day. Leslie had filled up a few gas tanks, but not a lot.

  “Where is everybody?” I asked.

  “Used to be a very busy stop,” Jo said. “But then a lot of the factories and stuff closed. Not just here but all around. Now people don’t take the highway unless they’re heading somewhere else, fast.”

  “Like we were,” Gabe said.

  “But a lucky breakdown for all of us, I guess,” Sam said. “In a way.”

  “Well, we did make four bucks off the computer,” Jo said. “So that’s something.”

  “Does Leslie ever sell any of that stuff?” I asked.

  Jo sighed. “He used to. It’s actually all stuff he’s made himself. Carved plaques. Weirdest thing he does is collect roadkill and stuff it.”

  “Seriously? Like taxidermy?” Gabe asked.

  “Yup. He says it’s a shame the way people leave those poor creatures out there. So he wants to give them some dignity. He’ll show you if you ask him.”

  I was definitely asking, just as soon as Leslie was awake!

  “So, Jo, why are you here?” I asked.

  “I work as a mechanic during the summer to pay off my student loans. This is my base, but I also do work at other garages along the highway. Wherever I’m needed, really. I grew up with my mom doing it, so it was just a natural progression, I guess.”

  Sam cut in. “Plus, you know, you’re really good at it. Remember the time you fixed the Jeep when it broke down on the Guatemala trip?”

  Jo laughed. “You bring that up like it was so amazing, but it basically just needed an oil change. It wasn’t a big deal!”

  I may have been hovering on the border of despair all day, but I know a potential IRL romance when I see one.

  And it perked me up.

  Sam kept brushing hair from her eyes. Jo laughed at almost everything Sam said.

  I’d spent a lot of time with Sam over the previous few days, and take it from me, she is NOT that funny.

  My head volleyed between the two.

  I looked over and noticed Gabe doing the same thing.

  We caught each other’s eye and smiled.

&nbs
p; Chapter 24

  Aloysius

  The part arrived first thing in the morning.

  Jo and Sam got to work doing life-saving surgery on Rusty . . . um, Dolly . . . well, the car.

  Laughter and also a few howls of pain came from the garage.

  I slipped another two bucks into the computer bin, but no one had updated the fan site in the last few hours. I’d try to check in again later. It sounded like we’d still be stuck here for a while.

  Finally, Leslie appeared.

  I practically jumped on him as he flipped the sign on the front door from Closed to Open.

  “LESLIE!”

  He did jump. “Whoa! That’s a loud pre-coffee greeting, young Zed. Just give me a second.”

  “But I want to see your gallery!”

  His eyes twinkled. “Jo told you about that? I’d be glad to—after coffee.”

  I stood around impatiently as his ancient coffee maker dripped and dripped liquid as thick as molasses into his mug.

  The mug had “Don’t talk to me until I’ve eaten this mug” written across it. I suspected that he’d made it himself.

  Gabe came in through the back door, yawning and stretching.

  “Shhhh,” I said, pointing at Leslie. “He’s not alive yet.”

  Gabe nodded and grabbed a granola bar from a nearby shelf. He sat on the floor, munching away.

  Finally, after a second cup of coffee and one paying customer, Leslie gave a satisfied “Ahhhhh.” “Strong enough to raise the dead,” he said.

  “See, Gabe? Told you.”

  “C’mon, let’s go visit my critters.”

  We followed him between the stacks toward a locked wooden door. Honestly, it was like a labyrinth in this place.

  A sign on the door said Leslie’s Magnificent Menagerie. He opened it, revealing the coolest room I had ever seen!

  Inside were skunks playing miniature violins. A fox stood in front of an easel, painting a version of the Mona Lisa. Two cats danced under a flying squirrel holding the moon.

  And staring at me from a pedestal along the back wall, with almost a smile, was a long-eared rabbit with deer antlers.

  “Is that a real jackalope?” I said in an awed hush.

  “Well, as real as they can be. You know about them?” Leslie asked with a smile.

  “They are the coolest fake animals EVER! Practically monsters! Taylor even throws a reference into one of the chapters. Yves the werewolf has one as a pet.”

  “Aloysius,” Gabe said. “Part hare, part deer.”

  Just mentioning Yves and Aloysius made me anxious. I hoped Jo was as good a mechanic as she was a punster because we needed to be back on the road.

  I cocked an ear and heard the ding of metal and then Sam swearing.

  Gabe heard it too. “Sounds like progress?” he said.

  “I think we’re still gonna be here for a bit,” I said, and I walked straight up to the jackalope. “Hello, little feller.”

  I imagined it, I know, but he twitched his nose in return.

  Gabe walked up beside me. “He looks so alive! Nice work, Leslie.”

  “You like him?” Leslie said.

  “I love him!” I said, stroking the soft downy fur.

  “Well, he is for sale, like all my animals. I want him to find a good home.”

  I reached into my pockets and pulled out a handful of loose bills. I had only about fifteen dollars left. The price tag under the jackalope read “$200.”

  “Well, I guess I could let it go for a steal,” Leslie said. “Fifteen dollars it is.”

  The image of a happy jackalope and me bounding through a field appeared before my eyes. But it wasn’t right.

  “Leslie, I can’t do that,” I said, pocketing the money. “This is too beautiful. And it would be disrespectful to me—and to Aloysius—to let you do that.”

  There was a cough from the doorway.

  We looked back. Jo was leaning against the jamb, wiping grease from her hands onto a rag.

  “Rusty back and ready?” Gabe asked.

  “Hear for yourself,” Jo said, nodding her head behind her. We could hear Sam gunning the engine. She gave out a loud “WHOOOOOPPP!!!”

  I patted the jackalope a final time. “Farewell, fair Aloysius,” I said. “We must depart on our quest.”

  Jo tucked the rag into her back pocket.

  “How about we work out a deal? Les, you open to that?”

  “Always. Bargain is my middle name.”

  “It is, actually,” Jo said.

  “Long story.” Leslie smiled. “But what bargain are you suggesting, cousin?”

  “I’ve got to be back at school, and you were planning on driving me this weekend. Which means closing up the store, and gas and all that. But Sam has a car.”

  Gabe and I traded a look.

  Leslie began to nod. “So we can exchange the jackalope for a ride to ASU. Hmmm.” He rubbed his chin.

  “That’s not really my decision to make,” I said. “It’s Sam’s car.”

  “Sam already said yes, so if I drive back with her instead of making Leslie do it, a stuffed dead rabbit seems like an even exchange for my cuz to make.”

  “Sounds good to me,” Leslie said.

  I still didn’t think it was quite fair enough.

  But then Jo clinched the deal. “And Sam says that you two are amazing at finding the best ice cream places. And that Zed here knows all the words to ‘Single Ladies.’”

  “Bracket ‘Put a Ring on It’!” I shrieked. “And I know the dance moves too!” I began shuffling and waving my hands in front of my face.

  Gabe groaned. “Please, no.”

  Jo smiled. “Sing along in the car with me and that’s also worth a lot—Leslie has a strict ‘no music while driving’ policy, so we’re not the best road-trip companions. I know you were being nice,” she said to Leslie, “but this’ll be much better, and you won’t have to leave the store.”

  He smiled, reached up and carefully plucked Aloysius from his perch. “Seems like a fair deal to me.”

  He handed him to me. My eyes definitely teared up this time. Part hare, part deer. Something that doesn’t exist IRL but should. “It’s a miracle,” I said.

  Leslie laughed.

  I looked at Gabe. “Even if the historian beats us to the book, at least I have a real jackalope to bring home with me.”

  Sam’s voice boomed from somewhere behind Jo. “Let’s move it, losers! The Dolly Carton Express is packed and leaving in two minutes!”

  “Packed?” I said.

  “She’s a pro,” Gabe replied.

  “And she’s not kidding about leaving,” Jo said. “My stuff’s already in the trunk.”

  Leslie walked over and gave Jo a giant hug. “You get more of those straight As and make us all proud,” he said.

  “I’ll do my best. See you in a few weeks.”

  “Not if I see you first.”

  We marched out to the car, but as we passed the computer, I secretly tucked the fifteen dollars into the tin on the desk.

  Gabe saw me. “You’d better have a good run of gender-guessing or you are going to owe me big time.”

  I kissed Aloysius on the head. “Worth the risk,” I said.

  Dolly Carton, in all her glory, sat in front of the store. Sam was doing some last-second trunk reorganizing.

  “Don’t even think about chucking my sweaters!” I said.

  “What do you think we used as rags when we were fixing the car?” she replied. But she was smiling.

  I got in and used the middle seat belt to safely secure Aloysius in place.

  Jo hopped into the passenger seat. Unexpectedly, she held up the walkie-talkies Jimi had given me.

  “I found these in the trunk. They work?”

  I laughed. “My brother ‘fixed’ them. Which usually means they work as paperweights.”

  She had opened the back of one and was fiddling with the wires.

  “Actually, whoever did this is pretty smart. He
added an antenna from a cellphone, which increases the range a lot.” She put the cover back on and pressed a button. “And it’s way quieter now. Might come in handy.”

  I was too shocked to speak. Jimi had fixed something and made it work better?

  Jo plugged in her music player. “As soon as we’re back on the highway, it’s time for ‘Single Ladies’!”

  Gabe put on his headphones.

  Sam got into the driver’s seat.

  “The quest is back on!” I yelled.

  “Seat belts!” Sam announced. She started the car. “We’re leaving in three, two—”

  She looked in the rear-view mirror.

  “What in the actual heck is THAT?”

  I stroked Aloysius’s fur. “Say hello to our new mascot.”

  Chapter 25

  Happy

  We passed a road sign that said “Happy, Texas, 10 miles,” a name that scored very high on the Zed cool-o-meter, TBH.

  We’d been on the road for a few hours, with a stop for lunch and ice cream.

  The luck of Aloysius had been on my side as I’d successfully predicted that the kid at the counter would call me “girl.”

  6–6.

  But I was more interested in watching Jo and Sam.

  They kept leaning close and whispering to each other. At first, I was worried that they were passing intel about the car—the way my parents always whisper to each other when there’s stuff they don’t want us kids to hear.

  But so far, Dolly Rusty Carton Raccoon—or DRCR—had only been making the normal scary noises and whines.

  So I think they were whispering sweet nothings.

  “Oh. My. Goodness,” I said to Aloysius. “That is so cute!”

  Aloysius suggested I share this with Gabe.

  I reached over and tapped him on the shoulder. He lifted one of his headphones. Another opera leaked out.

  “What?” he asked.

  “Have they moved closer to each other in the front seat?”

  “What?”

  “Are you even listening to me?”

  “I’m trying to listen to Carmen.”

  “How can you listen to opera when there’s a real-life romantic drama happening right before your very eyes?”

  “Easy,” Gabe said. “Like this.” He put the headphones back on.