All I Want For Autumn

by Clare Lydon

  Tori sent Trudi a brief message, before holding up her mulled wine. “To you,” she said, kissing Holly. “I love you, Holly Davis. And this way, I get to see you every day at my new job, don’t I?”

  Chapter 21

  Tori folded a T-shirt into her case and stood back. As the time had drawn nearer, she’d been having doubts about her decision: was it the right thing to do? Should she really be leaving the love of her life to start a lesbian dating app on the other side of the planet?

  To the outside world — and her mum, despite Tori’s constant declarations that she and Holly were fine — it probably looked like she was edging out of the relationship, getting out now to go and sow her wild oats in the California sunshine. Nothing could be further from the truth.

  Yes, her job was going to be lesbian networking in San Francisco, but that didn’t mean she was going to run off with the first American who approached her. It did mean she was going to miss Holly like crazy. Truthfully, when she really thought about it, Tori wasn’t sure how she was going to cope being away from her, either.

  On the plus side, Holly was feeling better, and losing her job had been turned into a real positive. She was like a whole new person with her gung-ho outlook, and she’d already booked her ticket to fly out to San Fran during the first week of February. So in the end, Tori wasn’t worried, no matter what her mum said.

  “You okay?”

  Tori looked up to see Holly standing in the doorway of their dressing room — formerly Holly’s old bedroom. She nodded. “Just a lot of change coming up, isn’t it?”

  “It is — you fly tomorrow.” Holly paused. “I was thinking, it’s a gorgeous winter’s day out there. You fancy a walk up our hill?” She crossed her arms defensively, as if challenging herself.

  “You think you’re ready?” Tori wasn’t so sure.

  But Holly was. “I want to give it a go while you’re still here — it won’t be the same climbing it on my own. Besides, the physio said I can challenge myself a little more these days, and it’s not like I’m going to be running up it.”

  Tori nodded her head. “Okay, if you really are sure.”

  “I am — ten minutes?”

  Tori looked down at her nearly full case. “Sure.”

  ***

  Half an hour later, they were standing at the bottom of their hill, coats wrapped tight around them, scarves tucked in.

  “Ready?”

  Holly nodded, weaving an arm through Tori’s and starting up the incline. She’d been intermittently crutch-free for over a week now.

  “We can stop at any of the benches.”

  “I know,” Holly said, not telling Tori her leg was already hurting. But she didn’t care how much it hurt: this was a journey she had to make today, so she concentrated on pushing up the hill, to their bench. If anybody had the temerity to be sitting on it when they got there, Holly wasn’t sure what the plan was. Still, she’d cross that bridge when she came to it.

  The sun was strong in the sky as they climbed, ten minutes to the top on a good day, nearly 20 minutes at her current pace. Holly was glad she’d worn her shades and she could feel the sweat dripping down her back as they got nearer the summit: this was harder work than she’d imagined, but worth every minute. And then, before she knew it, they’d done it — they’d made it to the top.

  Tori hugged her like she didn’t want to let her go, before holding her at arm’s length. “I’m really proud of you — of how you’ve dealt with everything and got over your accident.”

  “Thanks to you,” Holly said. She’d been a nightmare to live with, she knew that, but this was proof positive she was on the mend. “Can we sit on our bench now?” Holly didn’t want anyone coming along to spoil the moment — or her plan.

  Tori nodded. “Of course,” she said, ushering Holly towards it.

  Once they were sitting, they were silent for a few moments, taking in the view of London laid out before them. To their left, the city with its line of skyscrapers; to their right, the more industrial end of the river, with the river winding through the lot. Meanwhile, down the path, carol singers were belting out a jaunty version of Winter Wonderland.

  “I’m going to miss this view — sitting here with you, watching London live.” Tori kissed Holly’s hand.

  “I’ll bring the iPad up here and FaceTime you from this very bench.”

  “I’d like that.” Tori stared off into the distance. “I mean it, though, I really am going to miss you.”

  “I know,” Holly said. She gulped down a wave of emotion that bubbled up, threatening to engulf her. That wasn’t the plan now. Hold it together, Davis. “I’m going to miss you, too, that goes without saying.”

  Tori squeezed her hand, then kissed her fingers one by one. She caught Holly’s gaze and held it. “And I meant what I said about you — you’ve had a lot to deal with, but you’re still pushing. Getting up this hill is a milestone in your recovery.” Tori smiled. “I feel like we should have a bottle of champagne or something to celebrate.”

  Holly felt her cheeks glow at the mention: it was now or never, she couldn’t leave it much longer. She took the deepest breath of her life, pushed any self-doubt aside and turned to Tori.

  “Funny you should say that.”

  Tori cocked her head.

  “You know you’re the love of my life, right?” She didn’t wait for an answer. “And you know I can’t live without you.” Another deep breath, sucking up every ounce of courage. “These past few months have been really hard, but you’ve been there for me, a total rock. Simply put, I couldn’t have recovered without you. And you going away is going to be so hard, but I’m also so proud of you for giving it a go, for following your dream — it’s a great opportunity.” She leaned forward and kissed her, then took another breath. Nausea rose in her throat, but she swallowed it down.

  Focus, Davis, focus. You can do this.

  “But I can’t let you go without asking one thing.” With that, Holly dropped very slowly onto her good knee, before reaching into the pocket of her rucksack lying next to her on the bench and pulling out a small box. When she looked up and into Tori’s face, it was flushed, her mouth ajar.

  “Victoria Elizabeth Hammond,” Holly said, shifting on her knee. She flipped the ring box to reveal the vintage diamond ring, sparkling in the afternoon sunshine. “Will you marry me?”

  The air around them stilled; everything stopped: time, motion, the carol singers. Sound and vision swayed for Holly as she held her breath, trying to gauge Tori’s reaction. All she knew was that it was in slow motion, the silence stretching on forever. Until finally, she saw a nod of Tori’s head, before her answer punched the air using one of the simplest, yet most thrilling words in the English language.

  “Yes!” Tori put her arms underneath Holly’s and lifted her carefully into a standing position. “Yes, yes, yes, of course yes!”

  Holly was grinning now, too. That wait had seemed like an eternity, but the answer was yes.

  Yes, Tori would be her wife. Yes, she loved her. Yes, their dreams would come true.

  She slid off her glove, before sliding the ring onto Tori’s finger: it fitted perfectly, just as she’d known it would. She leaned down and kissed her, and the spark from their kiss lit a flame in her heart and nearly blew her away. They locked lips and the world faded away completely: for now, it was just them two, on their hilltop, engaged to be married.

  When they came up for air minutes later, Tori had tears on her cheek, which Holly kissed away. Then she rested her nose against Tori’s and searched her eyes, her grin painted so wide she was worried it might trip someone up.

  “We’re getting married,” she said softly, wrapping her arms tighter around Tori.

  “We are.” They kissed again and Holly’s legs wobbled, but this time, in a good way. Her happiness-o-meter was ramped to the max: this was what they meant by feeling on top of the world. She wanted to run around the park and tell everyone her news: she was marrying the love of
her life. When she looked over at the view, it felt like London was applauding them, too.

  “Do you like the ring?”

  Tori took an enormous breath, still shaking her head in disbelief. “I absolutely love it. It’s perfect, just like you.” She kissed Holly again.

  “It’s art deco, vintage.”

  “Where did you get it?”

  “Selfridges — I stuck to the rules.”

  Tori clutched her heart and gulped, hard. “I can’t believe it — we’re getting married. This is the last thing I expected, honestly.”

  “But you’re happy?”

  Tori looked into her eyes, trailing her hand down Holly’s cheek. “Oh baby, I’m ecstatic. I couldn’t be happier.”

  Holly clambered up onto the bench, ignoring the pain in her leg and pulled Tori up with her, too. “We’re getting married!” she shouted to two passing men, putting an arm around Tori.

  “Congratulations!” both men told them.

  “She said yes!” Holly shouted, at the top of her voice, to which Tori laughed a loud cackle.

  “Stop it, people will think you’re mad.”

  “I don’t care,” Holly said. “I want to shout it from the rooftops!” A woman walked by with her Jack Russell. “We’re getting married!” she told her.

  The woman ignored her.

  “Suit yourself,” Holly muttered.

  Seconds later, Tori jumped down, before holding out a hand to Holly.

  “Sit,” Holly said, when she was back on the ground.

  “You’re very bossy now we’re engaged.”

  Holly gave her a grin, before reaching into her rucksack and pulling out a chilled bottle of Laurent Perrier champagne, along with two plastic champagne flutes.

  Tori put a hand over her mouth, shaking her head. “You really have thought of everything,” she said. “I love you.”

  “And I love you,” Holly said: and until that moment, she hadn’t realised just how much. Holly grinned as the cork popped, before pouring Tori a glass of champagne, and then herself. She sat down next to her fiancée, just as the carol singers walked in front of them, stopping in their tracks.

  “Excuse me,” said one of them, a woman with a flushed face and a blue bobble hat.

  Holly looked up, not having noticed them at all. “Yes?”

  “That man said you just proposed, is that right?” She was pointing towards the men Holly had just told, standing to the left of the carol singers. One of them waved, both of them were grinning.

  “It is.”

  “In that case, this one’s for you.” And with that, the choir burst into a rendition of Going To The Chapel.

  Holly burst out laughing, before beaming at the joyous carollers, currently serenading them. And then she leaned in to kiss Tori, before raising her glass to her.

  “To us, babe — and to your successful San Fran trip. And when you get back, I can’t wait to be your wife.”

  “My wife: now that sounds weird,” Tori smiled. “And when I get back, I can’t wait to spend forever with you.”

  The final instalment of Tori & Holly - All I Want Forever - is due out in a few months!

  Sign up to my mailing list to make sure you don’t miss it and get four free bonus stories!

  ALSO BY CLARE LYDON…

  The All I Want Series

  All I Want For Christmas (Book 1)

  All I Want For Valentine’s (Book 2)

  All I Want For Spring (Book 3)

  All I Want For Summer (Book 4)

  All I Want Series Boxset, Books 1-3

  The London Series

  London Calling (Book 1)

  This London Love (Book 2)

  Other Novels

  The Long Weekend

  Nothing To Lose: A Lesbian Romance

  Discover Clare’s books on Kobo

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  Acknowledgements

  Thanks so much to everyone who contributed to this book, especially my army of medical staff who made sure Holly’s accident and recovery was as real as it could be. Cari Hunter for her paramedic advice, Michelle Booth for her in-depth knowledge of leg break rehab & recovery, and Danielle Kealey for her advice on liver tears. I now know for sure that I could never do any medical job. A waft of bodily functions and I’m nearly vomiting. Total wimp.

  Thanks as always to my cover designer Kevin Pruitt, editor Laura Kingsley and copy editor Gill Mullins, who are all bloody fabulous, frankly. Tip of the hat to my early readers for your invaluable feedback, particularly Tammara Adams who was my first port of call, along with my gorgeous wife who shed a tear as she read it. A happy tear, natch.

  I got a bit emotional writing this as I realised it was nearly the end for Tori & Holly, but also just the beginning. One more book and they’ll be on their way. I can’t wait to write the final episode in All I Want Forever and round the story off.