The Longer The Fall

by Aviva Gat

  “You know what Molly,” Madeline said. “Noah can stay here with me this morning. We’ll hang out until you get back.”

  “I’ll be doing a grocery store run and a few other errands before I get home,” Molly said. “It might be a couple hours.”

  “That’s fine, I’ll tell Jane I’m busy this morning.”

  “Oh, I don’t think Jane will appreciate that,” Molly said with a chuckle.

  “She’ll be fine,” Madeline smiled back. She knew she needed to talk to Noah, he needed his mother to listen to him, to support him, maybe even scold him for his recent behavior. After Molly left, Madeline sat quietly at the kitchen table with Noah. She suddenly remembered how he looked as a baby, so fragile, his pale skin almost translucent in the light. He had such an innocent smile, one that melted Madeline’s heart even after a sleepless night. She wondered what happened to that boy. How he turned into someone who got into fights in school, someone who made other children afraid and other mothers judge Madeline relentlessly. It’s because she’s never around, the other mothers said. It’s what happens when you’re raised by a nanny. Madeline was sure she had heard the other mothers saying these things at school functions, but Brandon insisted it was all in her head. You need to stop judging yourself, he always told her. You’re an amazing mother, and you’re setting a great example for the boys. Of course, Madeline wanted to believe him, but it simply couldn’t be true. If it were true, why had Noah been labeled as he had? Why had his actions led to him receiving that label? Madeline had a hard time even thinking of that word, the word the other mothers called her son. It made her cringe, made her feel like a failure, made her angry at Noah. Noah, the Bully.

  “Do you want to tell me what happened yesterday?”

  “It was nothing,” Noah said. “Can I go back to my room?”

  “Mr. Kendrick didn’t think it was nothing,” Madeline responded. “How about we go out for ice cream?”

  “Mom, we just had breakfast.”

  “So what? If I buy you ice cream, you won’t eat it?”

  Noah let a smile escape his lips. Madeline motioned him to follow her and they walked together to the driveway where Madeline’s car was waiting. Noah jumped in the front seat and Madeline entered the driver side. She liked driving. It gave her a sense of control that she always missed when sitting in the backseat being chauffeured around while she worked. When she drove, she had a clear view of what was ahead. She could choose which routes to take, and she sometimes preferred the longer ones if it brought her past a park she used to bring the boys to, or the old restaurant where Brandon had proposed. She could drive by the restaurant now if she wanted, on the way to Noah’s favorite ice cream store. It would only add five minutes to the drive, but it would bring hours of calmness to Madeline, reminding her of why she loved her husband.

  “Buckle up,” Madeline reminded her son before she reversed out of the driveway. Noah sat silently looking out the window as she drove. Madeline weaved through the streets of their Southern California neighborhood. She turned left when it would have been faster to go straight so she could pass the restaurant she wanted to remember. It was a small Italian place run by an immigrant family from Tuscany. Madeline remembered the wine cabinets that lined the walls and the smell of crispy cheese that always wafted through the dining area. The restaurant had closed many years ago. Today it was a pizza parlor, a much more casual setting where teenagers came in bathing suits after the beach to grab a slice. Although there were still remnants of authenticity corked into the walls. Surely no one but Madeline recognized those.

  “Mom, you’re going the wrong way,” Noah whined when Madeline turned. “It’s straight and then a right.”

  “Of course, sweetie,” Madeline responded. “My mistake.”

  “It’s a good thing you have a driver when you’re working,” Noah said. “Otherwise you’d probably get lost all the time and miss all your events.”

  Madeline laughed. “You’re right.” A few minutes later they pulled into the parking lot where the ice cream store stood. The storefront was dark and empty.

  “It’s closed!” Noah whined. “Mom, you wasted our time.”

  Madeline looked at the storefront. She should have checked, she thought. What kind of ice cream store is open so early? But next door was a small coffee shop that was alive with business. Women in sports attire were entering and exiting with paper cups and brown bags.

  “Let’s go in there,” Madeline motioned to Noah. “I’m sure they have desserts.”

  Noah agreed begrudgingly, and followed his mother into the coffee store. Sure enough at the counter was a glass case full of cakes and pastries that immediately drew Noah in. He approached it and placed his hands on the glass as he studied his options.

  Madeline ordered herself a second coffee and the cheesecake slice Noah had requested. “It’s not ice cream, but I guess it’s OK,” Noah had said to Madeline regarding his choice. Poor boy, Madeline thought to herself sarcastically. What a difficult life he has! Being forced to give up ice cream for cheesecake! Sometimes she wished her boys grew up differently. With a few more hardships. Not too many that they struggled in school or went to bed hungry. Just enough struggles that they would be able to understand the privileges they had.

  Madeline took her coffee and Noah’s cheesecake to an empty table in the coffee shop. Once they were sitting down and Noah had eaten enough of the cake that the sugar would have already changed his mood, Madeline decided to bring up the topic from earlier.

  “Do you want to tell me what happened at school yesterday?”

  “Nothing happened,” Noah said, forking another bite into his mouth. “It was nothing, everyone is just making such a big deal.”

  “Why do you think everyone made it a big deal?”

  “Because Jamie cried,” Noah said. “He’s such a baby.”

  “What made Jamie cry?”

  Noah shrugged and continued eating silently.

  “Did you say something to him before he cried?”

  “I told him to stop being a baby.”

  “Why did you say that?”

  “Because he was being a baby!”

  “Madeline Thomas?” Madeline was just about to ask Noah another question when their conversation was interrupted by a blonde woman wearing leggings and a down vest carrying a tray of four coffees. “I’m sorry to bother you.”

  “No problem, yes, how can I help you?” Madeline immediately put on her politician smile and looked at the woman as though she were sure she would say something profound.

  “I just wanted to say I really admire you,” the woman said. “I saw parts of your speech on the news last night. I think your proposal is very smart. It will help get minority communities to respect the police more. Education is the key to reduce the altercations that have been happening.”

  “Thank you,” Madeline responded, keeping her politician face on. “I do feel very strongly that my proposal can bring understanding to both sides of the issue.”

  “Yes, definitely,” the woman said. “Once the blacks start respecting the police, things won’t be so problematic.”

  “And when the police respect the communities they are supposed to protect,” Madeline added, saying it in such a way that made the woman feel that it was her own idea as well.

  “Of course! Of course!” the woman said. “Well I don’t want to bother you. But I just wanted to tell you how much I’m rooting for you! You are an inspiration to all women. Can I get a picture?”

  “Thank you, of course,” Madeline responded and stood up to lean into the woman as she held out her camera to take a selfie. After the camera clicked, the woman hugged Madeline and went on her way.

  “Do black people not respect police?” Noah blurted out.

  “What?”

  “That’s what the woman said, isn’t it?”

  “Well there are two sides to every story,” Madeline responded.

  “The police are the good guys,” Noah said.
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  “They are supposed to be good guys,” Madeline said. “But sometimes they are not.” Madeline looked around the coffee shop before turning back to Noah. “Can you tell why you called Jamie a baby?”

  “He sucks at basketball and I didn’t want him on my team. So I told him he couldn’t play. And he cried.”

  “Do you think that what you said could have hurt his feelings?”

  “There are two sides to every story,” Noah responded, repeating his mother’s words from just moments ago. Noah put the last bite of his cheesecake in his mouth and stood up from the table. “Can we go home now?”

  Just then Madeline’s cellphone rang. Her phone was never on silent and never out of reach. You never know when someone important might be calling or when you would receive news that could change everything. Madeline reached into her purse and pulled out her phone, seeing that it was Jane on the line.

  “Good morning, Jane,” Madeline answered.

  “Madeline, good morning,” Jane responded. “When are you coming to the office? We need to discuss your response to Senator Shuker’s abortion bill. His chief called this morning and Shuker wants to meet with you on it.”

  “I don’t support his bill,” Madeline cut in.

  “Well he wants you too, maybe it can be leverage for him to support the SAVER Bill. He doesn’t support your bill either.”

  “I can’t support any bill that adds restrictions to abortions.”

  “We need to discuss it. Also we’re scheduling a meeting with the head of the FOP,” Jane said. Surely Madeline’s new SAVER Bill would receive backlash from the Fraternal Order of Police union. But Madeline needed to meet with the FOP leadership. She could explain to them why she needed their support. “Where are you?”

  “I’ll be in soon,” Madeline responded as she stood up and walked with Noah back to her car. She drove the shortest way home, skipping a longer route that would have taken her passed a small park with perfectly pruned shrubbery that reminded her of a place she used to spend time at in New York.

  They arrived back home before Molly. Madeline parked in the driveway, noticing that the mail had been delivered while they were out. As Noah ran up to the front door, Madeline went down to the mailbox, emptying the contents. She shuffled through the mail as she walked to the house. There was the usual junk mail – the mailers from different stores, the notices that she had been pre-approved for new credit cards. But stuck in the middle of all the junk was a large envelope addressed directly to Madeline. The envelope looked unassuming, like something ordinary, rather than something that was about to change her entire life. But that’s how these things always start; unexpectedly, during the most mundane activities such as checking your mail.

  Madeline opened the front door of her house, letting Noah shoot inside. She then dropped the junk mail in their recycle bin and took her letter to the kitchen. If only she had known then that she was opening Pandora’s box. That once the letter was opened, there would be no turning back.

  Chapter 3

  “Lauren, I need to speak with Brandon right away,” Madeline said to his secretary when she answered the phone.

  “He’s in a board meeting right now, they just started,” Lauren responded. “You know these things can take hours, especially with all the changes happening at CyTech. I can slip him a message that you called.”

  “He’ll want to know,” Madeline urged Lauren. “It’s urgent. I need him to come home as soon as he can.”

  “I’ll pass the message along,” Lauren responded.

  When big things happened in Madeline’s life, Brandon was the first person she consulted. They made decisions together; it was one of the most important things in their partnership, one of the things that made their marriage work.

  When they first met, it was as though they were destined to be together, betrothed by their elders, brought together by forces greater than themselves. Some could say it was almost an arranged marriage, if that sort of thing still happened. Madeline remembered the first time she heard the name Brandon Thomas. She had just been elected Chairman of the New York Young Republican National Federation. She had become involved in the youth organization after graduating from Columbia where she had been president of the College Republican National Committee Club. It was only logical that she would continue her support of the party in the YRNF. Three years out of college and she had won her first election to be the organization’s New York Chairman.

  One of the first orders of business as Chairman was a congratulatory dinner with the local GOP leaders. During what was most definitely the most expensive meal she had ever eaten up to that point in her life, she listened to stories from her elders discussing the different conventions to attend and the behind-the-scenes fun in which she would eventually partake. They told her stories of doing keg stands with George W. at the White House and about the affairs between senators that surely helped them pass the most controversial bills. Madeline joked around with the table of older, white men, who had all remained respectively flirty throughout the night. Then out of nowhere, one of the men said, “You know who Madeline has to meet?” The question was addressed more to the table than to Madeline herself. The table quieted and looked at the man who had asked the question. “Brandon Thomas!” His exclamation was met with enthusiastic confirmations all around. How did I not think of that? What a great idea! How is it possible you haven’t met yet!? They must meet as soon as possible! You two would just get along perfectly! Should I call his parents? Get him on a flight over here now? Madeline had tried to ask who Brandon Thomas was and why it suddenly seemed imperative that she meet him. All she got was that he was her counterpart in California, leading the YRNF on the country’s other coast. Surely Madeline had many counterparts she should meet. In fact there were at least 49 other state chairmen for the YRNF, but none of the others were mentioned. The only important one was Brandon, leading a YRNF chapter in one of the country’s most democratic states. After that dinner, Brandon did not take a flight straight over to New York to meet Madeline, but his name kept popping up wherever Madeline would go.

  At a fundraiser to help New York Republicans running for Congress—a lost cause that still received wide support mostly due to Madeline’s planning of an extravagant event—someone mentioned that her idea for tax reform reminded them very much of what Brandon Thomas had told them at a different event earlier that year. And Brandon Thomas certainly understands tax reform, he recently founded that new software company that will revolutionize the way corporations secure their financials. Such a smart young man! At a networking event for young Republicans on Wall Street, someone mentioned drinking wine at the Thomas vineyard with young Brandon. He’s so articulate and ambitious, much like yourself! The following year, when Madeline had shown up without a date to the YRNF Christmas party, someone had asked her why she still hadn’t met Brandon Thomas. You two would be an unstoppable force! A power couple that could accomplish even the impossible. She nodded politely, not mentioning that she wasn’t looking for the other half of her power couple.

  At that point, Madeline had begun getting sick of the name Brandon Thomas. Everyone seemed to know who he was and everyone had something good to say about him. If she didn’t know better, she would have thought he was a prophet from above, rather than the California Chairman of the YRNF. Whenever his name was mentioned, she just smiled and tried to stop her eyes from rolling before quickly changing the conversation.

  That all changed when she finally met Brandon Thomas. The next year at the National Convention of Young Republicans she came face to face with the spirit who had seemed to follow her everywhere over the last couple of years. It happened at the opening cocktail hour, when many of the convention guests were still arriving, but those with stamina and ambition were already there, working the floor. She saw Brandon Thomas across the room and knew it was him without ever having seen a picture. He was tall, with broad open shoulders that looked inviting and strong. His lips were permanently curved up, as t
hough his natural expression included a warm smile. His brown hair was perfect styled, parted on the side and brushed back. He held a glass in his right hand, which he periodically brought to his lips, taking the tiniest sips, to give the illusion that he was drinking while he nursed the same cocktail throughout the night. Madeline recognized this trick, as it was something she too would do at these events. No one likes to mingle with someone who doesn’t drink, but in the presence of people who could make or crush her career, Madeline would never get drunk.

  Brandon had caught her staring at him and his already curved lips arched a little more. As he walked over to her, Madeline took a fake sip of her own drink—a gin and tonic that was already watered down from the melted ice.

  “Brandon Thomas,” he introduced himself, sticking his hand out to shake Madeline’s. “I don’t believe we’ve met.”

  “Madeline Clark,” she responded, giving his hand a firm shake.

  “You’re Madeline Clark?” He gasped. “I expected a halo, or some sort of aura to be surrounding you.” He moved his head around as though looking for something.

  “On me? I could have said the same thing about you, based on what everybody seems to be saying.”

  “I’m actually surprised you’re a real person,” he continued. “I was beginning to think you were just a legend, or Wonder Woman.”

  “Who says I’m not?” Madeline joked, taking another fake sip of her drink.

  “True, it is definitely still possible, or maybe even probable that you are Wonder Woman,” Brandon said.

  During the rest of the convention, Madeline and Brandon were inseparable. They sat next to each during different lectures and speeches, discussing the speakers’ merits and what they would do differently. During social hours, they mingled near each other, often sharing a look when one was caught in an unbearable conversation. When they stood near each other, they often received comments from other convention attendees. You two look marvelous together. I can’t believe this is the first time you’ve met! The Republican dream team! Madeline reveled in the attention. She loved feeling like a part of something bigger than herself and she loved that people saw her as such a force to be reckoned with.