by Marie Hall
The confrontation between he and Io didn't just take it out of them, it exhausted everyone. Already more than a few were curled up asleep. It could be the strain from the last several weeks, even the last several months.
It wasn't good for anyone to be so uncertain about those who led them. Xavier wasn't being the most competent lord with all the distractions. He'd spent too much time from home trying to avoid his mother and now chasing down his wife. Many of those administrative things he attended were waiting for him. As late in the year as it was, he was sure there was going to be at least one message from the crown. His marriage to Io might have solidified his relationship with the king, but there was never a guarantee everything he earned in service would remain his, if the crown no longer found him useful.
He tipped back the flask again and took a long drink. He could be taking Io back to nothing. No home, no security. His years of fighting to put down all enemies of the throne and the rewards of that duty could be stripped from him if the king found him unfit. If he couldn't protect and hold one small woman, how might he be relied on to hold an entire kingdom?
"It might not serve to look at your wife with such resentment," Lucas whispered, leaning over to take back the flask.
"I do not…" Xavier started then bit his tongue as he caught Io's expression. She was looking at him but wouldn't hold his eye and her bottom lip was firmly between her teeth. There was still distrust between them and with it all starting because she thought he'd prefer another the last thing he wanted was to make her even more uncertain. With a sigh he stood and circled the fire. Gunther shifted and made room for Xavier to take a seat beside her. But as he settled down, he was lost for words. It'd been so long since they'd a casual conversation, since they'd spoke without anger and hurt.
"She is still just Io," Gunther said quietly.
Xavier chuckled at that. She was just Io. But Io was not just some woman and he'd spent a good many days learning how best to deal with her. There was a time when he felt he did that well. He'd go back to those methods.
Chapter Six
Io watched him get up from his place across the fire and move around towards her. Even when he didn't try, he moved in a lethal manner. There could never be any mistaking this man for anything other than dangerous and deadly. Io learned of his reputation early in their relationship. Despite being told and shown how Xavier came to be the most feared man in the kingdom, despite knowing he never showed mercy to an enemy and despite knowing he'd no restraint when it came to inflicting his form of discipline on her when he deemed it necessary, Io couldn't say she truly feared him. Or maybe she did, but that always added to the thrill of being with him.
Like now as she watched him step up and easily, gracefully take a seat at her feet, there was a tightening in her chest and a knotting in her gut. She knew it was more than nervousness. It was, in fact, a fear, but that sensation, rather than make her wish to flee, made her want to lean in. To hold it. To know completely what it was to be consumed by it. Xavier Brice was a dangerous man, his reputation was well deserved but Io could count on one hand the times he'd, in her opinion, unjustly punished on her. And truth be told, most of those came after the arrival of Charlotte Brice into his house.
Could it be he kept his true self from her all that time? Could a man simply and unexplainably go from a just man who dealt fairly with her to a man who cared nothing for how she was treated? Could he go from doing everything he deemed necessary to keep her safe to a man bent on her destruction? Perhaps he could. Any man could become something different if the circumstance proved it necessary. But in her husband's case, Io couldn't find justification. Really, she couldn't find it when she was preparing to leave; even when the knife was pressed to her skin, she couldn't bring herself to believe fully it was his want she should be dead. She struggled with the questions. She revisited every moment she learned about him, to know him, to understand his way of doing things. Nothing said to her this man will end you one day. Nothing said trusting him, depending on him, was a mistake. This moment too, even if she discounted his oath, nothing really screamed at her to put distance between them.
And, oh, that oath. It still rung in Io's ears. There were two things Xavier never did. Never. He never used the Lord's name in vain and he never used the King's. Now, he'd done so. He'd sworn to Christ, in despair, when she announced her request for an annulment. And today, he'd sworn on the life of his king, the life of the man he held most dear, the man he'd ride into hell and face the devil for and say thank you for the opportunity. On the life of that man, he'd sworn he'd nothing to do with the attempt on her life. He didn't deny it happened, he only denied being the one behind it. And though Io couldn't shake completely the doubt, the feeling couldn't keep its foothold when everything else was considered.
Io was trapped between the warring arguments. One, Xavier needed a lady as his wife. A woman with the talent and skills to ensure his success. The other questioned why he came after her? Time and again, he pursued her. He didn't use his skills or resources to end her life, he'd not even taken advantage of a natural occurrence and simply let her die. He did everything to ensure she lived and greatly rewarded those who'd helped save her. The battle in her mind raged and, with him so close, the one in her body did as well.
As cold as she was, a building heat pulsed through her. She hadn't been touched by him in months. The last time was wonderful and not only because of the long period between when they shared a bed and that moment. It was so wonderful, so incredible because he knew how to make it that way. When he wanted, he could make her burn to a cinder with what they shared when they gave each other their bodies. The last time he'd given her quite the effort but he'd given her as much many times before. Not every time but nearly. Again it wasn't until Charlotte arrived had his efforts diminished. At least they diminished with her. She'd no doubt Sabrina got his full ability.
"Io?"
Her eyes jerked to his face when he called her name. His features swam for the tears in her eyes. Dropping her head, she let the tears fall to her lap before blinking to stave off more that might wish to well up.
"Io, why the tears?" Xavier scooted closer. His words caused Ian to jerk behind her and she almost toppled backwards. Xavier caught her arm before she went over backwards. "Sit still, man," Xavier commanded and Ian sat back so Io was again supported. "Io?"
What could she say? No matter how she might try, she couldn't be the lady he truly needed by his side. Sabrina suited and he found her company as pleasant, if not more so, as he'd once found Io's. She'd say nothing because it didn't matter if he tried to kill her. He couldn't keep her, not if he wanted to continue to advance his position. She shook her head at him.
"Io?" he called. Before she looked up again she made sure no tears lay in wait. "Tell me, please. Why do you cry?"
She shook her head again and caught him looking past her for a moment. When he met her eyes again, his forced smile was something between a grimace and a grin. In no way was it reassuring. "You are not hurt?"
"No," she whispered, cleared her throat and spoke again with more conviction. "No."
His look said he didn't quite believe her. "You are not hurt? What about what bent you on the road earlier?"
Again she caught him looking past her. "No, I am not hurt. It was a cramp, a pinch in my side." It was more than that but Io didn't feel any more like telling him her wretched body was again behaving in unwanted fashion now than she had any other time. She'd not suffered this once while they were apart and she did wonder if he'd something to do with it. Sarah tried several times to discuss this with her but she didn't want to know.
Again his smile was forced but maybe not as much. "Are you warming?" His hand slipped under the edge of the fur Ian set on her and settled on her right foot. "Your feet are freezing." He said as he pulled her foot out and cupped it in his hands. Rubbing vigorously for several minutes he leaned back lifted his shirt front and placed her foot on his belly. His expression almost made her g
iggle. "You and your icy feet." She made to pull it back but he caught her ankle and kept it in place as he reached for her left. Again his hands rubbed her flesh until it tingled and then he tucked it under his shirt. "Better?"
She wanted to scream No it wasn't better. The contact was doing things to her she wanted to forget about. His gentle consideration, the firm feel of his abdomen, his heat, smell, presence… was she warming? She was about to go up in flames. Her heart was about to pound out of her chest and she couldn't squeeze her thighs together enough to stop the throbbing. Maybe she was a whore as his mother proclaimed. Why else would she be so wanting of these carnal pleasures? Then how could she know? It seemed Lady Sabrina was no less immune as she didn't restrict her partner to Xavier, even though she waited to be his wife.
"Drink this," Ian said, holding the cup he'd been blowing into before her.
"No." Io pushed the cup away. The acidic bite of the warm wine hurt her nose.
"Drink," Ian insisted.
"I do not drink wine," Io reminded him and tried to push the drink away.
"Io, "Xavier said taking the cup and sniffing at the contents, "It will warm you." He took a small sip then handed the cup to her. "It is not too bitter. There is honey in this.
"Wine makes me unpleasant, my lord," Io grumbled.
Xavier's burst of laughter startled her enough he was able to put her hands around the cup. "So it does. But I would rather you be unpleasant than frozen."
"I do not like wine," she muttered.
"A few sips, Io, to help warm your insides," Xavier cajoled.
She wanted to tell him, his being so close, touching his bare skin was doing that very thing. Rather she gave in and took a sip. The temperature of the drink was too much and she had to quickly swallow to save her tongue which caused her entire chest to feel as if she'd eaten a flame. She gasped and coughed, Xavier took the cup back until the fit passed then pushed it back into her hands.
"Sips, Io. Not gulps."
"It is too hot." She handed him back the cup, surprised when he took it. But he began to blow over the top and after a few long gusts of his breath, he tasted the contests and handed back the cup.
"Try now," he encouraged, "small sips."
She gave him a hard look but took a small sip. This time the liquid didn't burn her mouth and the warmth she felt as it slid down her throat was tolerable. She took a few more drinks to satisfy everyone, then set the cup to the side. She heard Ian grumble, but he didn't try to force his will. When she turned back to Xavier, it was to see a real smile on his face and more than the drink heated her on the inside.
"Do you want to try and eat something?" Xavier asked and she shook her head. It wasn't so far past when they'd broke their fast. They'd not gone too far today. This was her fault she knew, they'd stop for her comfort rather than push on and get back to the house where they'd be sleeping in beds not on the ground with rain and snow falling on them.
"We can start again." She pulled her feet away, tucking them under the fur and searched for her boots. "I will ride in the wagon so you are not delayed." She twisted and found her boots on the other side of Ian.
"Io." Xavier set his hand on her arm. "We are going to stay here a few days. Settle. Get warm, rest, eat. Do not concern yourself with travel at this moment."
"What? Why?" Now what? Now that she'd called him out and accused him, was he going to change his tactics? She ground her teeth in frustration. Had she not just been thinking she didn't really think he meant her harm and now she was ready to be suspicious again of his intentions. Her mind was lost. Being with Xavier had driven her into complete madness. There was nothing for it but to surrender to the unreasonableness of her thoughts.
"Io," Xavier started and sounded like she might have missed something. "I cannot take you home if it is unsafe. And—"
"If?" She shot forward at the word. "If? Again do you think to call me liar? I did not put the scar under my own chin. But you with that word again. If."
"Io, I am not calling you anything at all. Please let me—"
"You do not believe what I told you. If your house is unsafe. What question is there except perhaps whom is it unsafe for? It seems only me." Damn him, why could he never believe her.
"Io, stop. You need to listen," Xavier said, his tone hardening and growing louder.
"Why, you do not extend that same courtesy to me," Io shouted back.
"I am trying to—" Xavier growled.
"You are trying nothing. You are doing as you have done this entire time. Doubting me and—" She could feel the tears welling but she refused to let them fall.
"You be silent," Mark shouted, stepping up beside her and pointing his finger in her face. "You asked the man a question. You will let him give his answer before you start with new accusations."
Io pressed back into Ian only to feel the man set his hand on her back and push her away. With a man to her front and back and one to her side, there wasn't an escape. She pulled the fur closer around her, tucked her chin in and held her tongue.
"Now you." Peeking up, Io saw Mark point at Xavier. "Ease your tone and stop denying everything she says. Accept she thinks you say she lies and explain to her why that is not what you say." Io saw the man's boots disappear from view but he must not have gone far because she heard him grumble, "For the love of Heaven is this how you have been speaking to each other?"
It was, Io knew and it never accomplished anything. For a long moment no one spoke but then she heard Xavier inhale and let it out the way he did when he was less than victorious in some matter, usually dealing with her.
"Io, I say if only because those who set on you may not still be at the house, they may have run off. That is the only reason," Xavier said, his tone tired, not angry. As an explanation it was reasonable. If those men fled after they attacked her, it might be safe to return. "You did not say in your telling if you recognized the men in any way?"
"I did not," Io admitted.
"Then they could not have been from our home or lands, because you would have known them," Xavier concluded.
"Maybe I would know them," Io grumbled.
She heard him chuckle. "Io, you would have known them." He reached out and brushed a few strands of hair from her face. "You know everyone." She lifted her chin a little to look at him, not quite able to meet his eye. "And I cannot say I know of anyone on our lands who would be willing to do you harm. Everyone is half smitten with you."
"No." She shook her head. She knew many liked her but they understood they'd be better served with Lady Sabrina as their mistress. "They too, want you to have a lady as a wife. Sabrina is—"
"Sabrina is no more a lady than you and, trust me, the people want you. They made that very clear when we searched the shires for you."
"They were laying bets as to when you would get her with child," Io said her voice cracking. He hadn't tried to get her with child. He said long ago he'd reasons, but those became moot some time ago. Perhaps he hoped all along he'd have his chance with a different woman.
"Io," he stopped and cleared his throat and Io didn't mistake the real pain she saw wash across his face. "Io, I…" he cleared his throat again and took a deep breath, "the people want you. When I made it clear I was wed to you..." His expression hardened. "They all but danced for their joy. They care no more for Sabrina than I."
This wasn't a discussion she wanted to have so she changed the subject. "When will we begin again to travel?"
"I need to insure your safety, Io. I need a plan and it must be very good and everyone needs to know their duties before we return home." Xavier sounded relieved to have the subject changed though she couldn't say why. All she could do was hope, there was that word again—hope—he wanted to talk of other things because he didn't want to admit before all these people he preferred Sabrina.
"Not everyone at your house wants me there, Xavier," Io reminded him. "How will it ever be safe for me? Do you think to keep me locked in a room and not just behind the gates?"<
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"Io," he ground out perhaps in response to the bitterness she'd added to the last words.
"Watch," Mark warned from the side.
"Io." This time Xavier's tone was relaxed. "If I were going to lock you in a room, it would not be for the purpose of keeping you safe." She heard several men laugh and her face heated. Xavier went on, his tone lighter. "I was trying to route the one responsible for what happened before. If you believed I did not take the matter serious enough, I am sorry but I did not want to add to the unease." Io shrugged. "Io, I was doing what I could. I just needed more time."
"More time for what? I gave you time and nearly died for the effort. Your house is not safe, there are too many there who wish me ill and Sabrina—"
"Sabrina has nothing to do with any of this," he shouted.
"She has everything to do with this. If you were free to have her… I tried to leave, I tried to end our marriage, you stopped me. When it was what everyone wanted, you would not let it happen. What choice did anyone have but to end my life so you would take her to wife?"
"I did not let it happen because I did not want it to happen. I do not want a different woman. Why must I say this to you over and over? I cannot possible be any more clear on this." He got to his feet and paced away, but only a step or two before he returned and sat back down.
"You have not been at all clear on this matter that is why all of this…" She brushed a hand under her chin where the knife left its mark and then down her thigh where the tool left its mark. "Happened. Had you done anything that told anyone it was not your mother but your wife, me, who held the house, this would not have happened." She wasn't going to let him walk away from the blame. He'd told everyone with his actions and his silence she was unfit. What did he think would happen? Did he think anyone in his house would let him be martyred through an unwanted marriage to a woman who was not suitable? Of course not. His house was loyal to him.