Better Than Me (A Remington Medical Contemporary Romance)

by Kimberly Kincaid

  “Your dad asked how Annabelle was doing, so I told him a few stories,” Natalie said to Jonah. To his dad, she murmured, “See? She talked him into wearing the Prince Charming crown and everything.”

  Oh, my God, Jonah couldn’t tell if he wanted to kiss her or throw her phone into the nearest biohazard bag. “Really, Nat, I don’t think my dad wants—”

  His father lifted a graying brow in the ultimate parental signal to stop talking, which Jonah did. “Handsome,” he said, his wry smile turning almost charming as he looked at Natalie. “He gets that from me.”

  Jonah’s jaw unhinged at the same time Natalie laughed. Since when had his father grown a spirited side?

  “I couldn’t agree more, Mr. Sheridan.”

  In that moment, Jonah knew he could save his pride, and possibly his heart, and insist that his father rest. But the happiness in the old man’s eyes far outweighed the weariness, and Jonah was tired of hiding who he was. What he wanted.

  And what he wanted was not just to rebuild his relationship with his father, but to take his relationship with Natalie to a whole different level. He wanted to turn his hope into having.

  So he said, “What Natalie is failing to tell you, Dad, is that she also attended said party in a feather boa and sparkly pink lip gloss.” Pulling out his own phone, he tossed her a wink. “And I have the photos to prove it.”

  26

  Natalie’s butt was numb and her sides hurt, but she couldn’t care less. Hospital chairs had never been comfortable—there had to be some sort of weird, unspoken rule between manufacturers or something—and, anyway, the pain in her sides was a byproduct of the best thing she could’ve hoped for out of this day.

  Laughter.

  “I’m just saying, there are clear and valid arguments to be made in favor of Die Hard being a Christmas movie,” Jonah said, looking to his father for solidarity. “It’s a classic.”

  “If you say so,” Natalie said. In truth, while she didn’t think she’d ever hop on board that train and ride it all the way to the station, she’d also enjoyed watching the movie (repeatedly) with Jonah.

  God, she didn’t want to go back to her apartment in a couple of weeks.

  Her chin snapped up at the thought, and she stuffed it away. This was hardly the time or place to think about her feelings for Jonah, even if it was true. They’d agreed to keep things casual.

  You might’ve been okay with casual when you agreed to it, but that’s not what you really want now.

  “Well,” she said, her smile feeling one setting too tight. “As much as I’m enjoying this conversation, we have been chatting for a while. You should probably follow doctor’s orders and rest, Mr. Sheridan.”

  The man nodded, seeming happy but worn out. “I suppose you’re right.”

  “And you”—Natalie looked at Jonah—“need to eat something.”

  He nodded, but looked at his father hesitantly, as if he knew she was right but didn’t want to leave the older man’s side.

  Not that Natalie could blame him. “Why don’t I head down to the cafeteria and grab something to go? I’ll also ask Nora and Ian to order a tray for your dad. Then we can all eat together.” A walk would probably help clear her head, and anyway, they did need to eat.

  “Okay, yeah. That sounds great. Thank you,” Jonah said, and she pushed out another smile.

  “Of course.”

  Natalie made her way down the hall and asked Nora for Mr. Sheridan’s breakfast, then for directions to the cafeteria. Nora directed her to the main level, so Natalie thanked her and turned toward the elevators. A lone figure in the small waiting area caught her eye before she could make the trip, though, and wait…

  “Vivian?” Natalie’s boots clattered to a stop on the linoleum, and sure enough, Mr. Sheridan’s neighbor was sitting in one of the chairs, her blouse and pants neatly pressed and her hands folded tightly in her lap. “What are you doing here?”

  “Oh! I do apologize,” she said with a pause, and Natalie realized that in all of last night’s rush, she hadn’t introduced herself.

  “Natalie,” she said, reaching out to shake the woman’s hand.

  She smiled, albeit hesitantly. “Natalie. I’m sorry to just turn up again. I certainly don’t want to impose.”

  Natalie replayed their conversation in her head, starting with what she’d asked the woman a minute ago, and immediately shook her head. “Oh, no. I didn’t mean what are you doing at the hospital. I was just wondering what you’re doing out here. Why you didn’t come down to say hello?”

  The woman had sat with Mr. Sheridan for a little while last night. Surely now that he was awake and visiting hours had started, the nurses wouldn’t turn her away.

  “Well, you and Jonah are family. I didn’t want to intrude,” Vivian said. The words rattled through Natalie, but she tucked the feeling aside. The woman clearly needed a little comfort, and it was going to take a whole lot more time than she had right now to parse through the jumble of so-much-more-than-friends emotions she was feeling for Jonah right now.

  “That’s kind of you, but I don’t think you’d be intruding if you wanted to stop in to say a quick hello.”

  “If you’re sure,” she said, her gaze growing hopeful, and she gestured to a cellophane bag topped with pretty red and green ribbons. “I made Kenneth some candied pecans. They’re his favorite. I know it’s silly, but I was so worried last night, and I didn’t know what else to do. Kenneth is…” Vivian pressed her lips together. “Well, he’s a dear friend.”

  Something about the way her voice caught made Natalie realize that Vivian and Mr. Sheridan were more than friends, and whoa, talk about something she hadn’t seen coming.

  Still, she went with the truth. “Actually, I don’t think that’s silly at all.”

  “You don’t?” Vivian asked.

  “No, ma’am. As it turns out, I know a little something about dear friends, and I’m sure yours would love to see you. I’m headed downstairs to get some breakfast, but why don’t you go say hello? I’ll bring some extra food if you’d like to join us.”

  Tears sprang to the woman’s eyes. “I’d like that very much. Thank you, Natalie.”

  “Of course.” Natalie’s smile was bittersweet as she watched Vivian move down the hallway.

  Now if she could just figure out her feelings for her dear friend so easily.

  NOW THAT HE was finally allowing himself to feel them, Jonah was shocked at how many emotions he could jam into the span of eight hours. Between the fear, then relief over his father’s prognosis, the surprise of discovering his old man had a “lady friend” (his phrase, not Jonah’s), and how purely right he’d felt with Natalie at his side all day—hell, all month, really—he was pretty sure he’d run the gamut from end to end.

  God, he felt right with Natalie. And the crazy part was, that didn’t feel crazy at all.

  It felt like hope.

  “Hmmm.” His father shifted out of the nap he’d started a couple hours ago, and Jonah looked up from the chair at his bedside.

  “Hey, you’re awake.” Closing his laptop, he set the thing aside and reached out to pour some fresh water into the cup on the rolling tray.

  His father took a long draw before sinking back against the pillow. “I didn’t mean to scare everyone else off.”

  Jonah looked around the otherwise empty room and let go of a soft laugh. “Vivian wanted to let you rest, although she said she’d check in on you after she went to the Christmas Eve service at her church. Natalie ran out to grab some snacks for the next couple of days. I was just catching up on a little work.”

  “Always knew you’d be an excellent doctor,” his father said, and Jonah laughed again.

  “I’m glad you knew it.” Medical school exams, his internship and residency. His boards. Christ, there had been more than a few times when Jonah himself had doubted he’d make it.

  His father nodded. “I should’ve told you before now, though.”

  Surprise mingle
d with the hard shot of regret in Jonah’s belly. “I didn’t make it easy for you to tell me.”

  He didn’t want to upset his father—God knew they’d all had a long-ass day, and it wasn’t even over yet. But it was past time for them to have this conversation, and far past time for Jonah to offer an apology. “Dad, I know we haven’t been as close as we could be. Should be,” he corrected. “But it’s my fault.”

  “Jonah,” his father began, but he shook his head, adamant.

  “It is, Dad, and it’s time I said so. You’re my only parent. I spent a lot of time being scared about what could happen if we were close and I lost you that I didn’t stop to think about what we’d have if we were and I didn’t. I gave in to that fear and pushed you away, and…” Jonah broke off for a breath. “I shouldn’t have. You raised me on your own. You were always there. You deserve better, and I’m so sorry.”

  For a minute, nothing passed between them except for silence, his father seeming to process the words. Jonah’s pulse pumped heavy in his ears, moving even faster as his father finally answered.

  “You might have pushed me away, but I didn’t press the issue. I knew there was distance between us. I’d have to have been blind not to see it.” He stopped for a breath, and Jonah was tempted, not a little, to interrupt so the old man wouldn’t get riled up. But he wasn’t upset—on the contrary, he looked as if a weight were lifting off his shoulders—so Jonah kept quiet and let him continue.

  “I didn’t know why, or how to fix it,” his father said. “Talking about my feelings has never been my strong suit. But I was there, same as you. I could’ve tried to bridge the gap. I could’ve pushed, and I didn’t. I suppose I was scared, too.”

  “You were?” Shock took over Jonah’s rib cage. “Of what?”

  His father exhaled. “Your mother left because she didn’t love me. I’m quite sure she never did. I’ve moved past that now, but for a lot of years, there was…deep hurt there. I guess I was scared that if I tried to get close to you, you wouldn’t care for me, either.”

  Jonah opened his mouth to say that was crazy—of course he loved his old man—but then he closed it. They’d both had irrational feelings with roots that had run deep. They might not be able to change that or get back the time they’d lost, but they could sure as hell start to repair it now.

  “I’ve always cared for you, but I’d like to get to know you better,” Jonah said instead. “I can’t promise I’m going to always get things right. Talking about my feelings isn’t really my strong suit, either. Guess that’s another thing I get from you.” He let out a tiny smile. “But I’ve missed you, Dad. I’d really like it if we could be closer.”

  “I’d like that, too.”

  Jonah leaned in, hugging his father as tightly as he could while still being cognizant of the IVs and the man’s current state of exhaustion. His father did look lighter, the shadows beneath his eyes easing just a notch as he smiled at Jonah with more of that newfound mischief Jonah had never really seen.

  “Now that we’ve got that settled, let’s talk about your girl.”

  Well, shit. He’d just been blindsided by his old man. “I’m not sure what you mean,” Jonah said, trying—and epically failing, thanks—to dodge the topic.

  His father scoffed. “You know exactly what I mean. You like her.”

  Annnnd they were going there. “I do,” Jonah admitted, because saying otherwise would be a big, fat lie. “We’re good friends. Best friends.”

  “Looks to me like you’re a lot more than that,” his father said, lifting his hands at what had to be a look of pure WTF on Jonah’s face. “What? I’m old, not blind. And for what it’s worth, she likes you, too. Anyone with half a brain could see that.”

  Jonah blinked, but truly, after what Natalie had said to him last night, after how she’d had his back so unconditionally, he couldn’t deny what his father had said. “I suppose she does.”

  “Well, I’m glad you found her.” His father smiled. “Just do yourself a favor and hold on to her, would you? Someone like that is…”

  “I know, Dad,” Jonah said, and for the first time in his life, he really did. “I know.”

  27

  Natalie brushed her teeth, her head and heart locked in a heated battle over which could drive her around the bend first. Her head kept reminding her that now that Jonah’s father was stable, she really did need to give Harlow’s job offer some serious thought. She didn’t want to give up surgery, and she wasn’t sure if she was as made for the job as Harlow seemed to believe. She had no true business experience to speak of, and certainly nothing in the corporate realm. The mere thought of all those budget meetings and policy committees made her dizzier than a sideshow carnival ride. But taking the director’s position would be a huge step for her career, not to mention a huge boost financially. If she said yes, she’d definitely be secure enough to pay off the last of her medical school loans, and maybe even put a down payment on a house.

  A house she wanted so she could move forward with finding someone to be with in the long-term and eventually adopt a couple (or more) kids, and welcome to her heart’s side of this battle royale.

  She wanted that someone to be Jonah.

  Her heart slapped against her sternum, and she looked at the bathroom door that separated them. Their friendship had definitely changed over the past month, and even though they’d agreed to keep things casual, there was no way Jonah wasn’t feeling at least some version of what she was feeling. Natalie knew him like she knew the reflection she was staring at right this second, for God’s sake. He’d confided in her and held her close, literally and figuratively, just as she’d done with him. They’d both meant the things they’d said, and she couldn’t deny the truth any longer.

  Her feelings might be bigger than she’d expected them to become, and yeah, that was scary considering that wasn’t what she’d promised him a few weeks ago. But this was Jonah. Her best friend. The man she was falling in love with.

  She needed to tell him how she felt.

  Finishing up with her nightly routine, Natalie changed into her nightshirt, the boat neck falling off one shoulder like it always did. The white cotton swished just above her knees as she turned toward the door and killed the bathroom lights, surprise filling her chest when she stepped into the hotel room to find it bathed in a soft, golden glow.

  “What…?” Natalie’s surprise coasted into laughter when she saw that Jonah had turned on the TV, somehow managing to find one of those stations that broadcast a cozily lit fireplace. The rest of the room was dark, and Jonah sat in the middle of the bed in his T-shirt and pajama pants.

  “Sorry there’s no tree,” he said with a half-grin. “I know how much you love Christmas. But this was the best I could do under the circumstances.”

  The unease that had squeezed Natalie’s heart only a few minutes before turned into something decidedly different as she shook her head and moved over to the bed to sit down next to him. “No, this is perfect.”

  “Well, I’m glad you think so.” He reached for the bedside table, sliding a box adorned with a satiny red bow from the shadows. “I got you a present.”

  Natalie’s lips parted, her brows winging up. When on earth would he have had the time to do that? They’d spent all day at the hospital, keeping his father company until after dinner, then sitting down to discuss a follow-up care plan and long-term medications with Dr. Aronson.

  “I have a present for you, too, but it’s back at the apartment.” She thought of the photo she’d had professionally matted and framed, a candid that Rachel had taken of the two of them at the hospital, both of them laughing.

  “That’s okay. You should still open yours now,” Jonah said, placing the box on the coverlet. It was small and flat, the sort that might hold a wallet or something similar, and Natalie’s curiosity sparked. She tugged at the bow, which was the only “wrapping” on the box itself, pulling it away and lifting the lid to reveal—

  “It’s a key.” N
atalie took it from the thin layer of tissue paper inside the box, slightly confused.

  Jonah smiled, arching a brow at her through the soft light. “Yes, but it’s not just any key. It goes to my apartment, and I know you already have one, but I’m giving you this one because I was kind of hoping you’d want to keep it so you can use it every day…when you come home.”

  All the breath left her lungs in a gasp. “Are you asking me to move in with you? Like, change of address, pack up boxes, hang my bras on the shower curtain rod, move in with you?”

  “Yep. I sure am,” Jonah said, his expression turning suddenly serious. “I know this might be a lot. We said we’d keep things casual. But that’s not how it feels to me anymore. It feels—”

  “Right,” she whispered, her heart beginning to beat faster. Like two wholes making something bigger. “It feels right.”

  He lifted a hand to cup her face, and oh, God, she was in love with him. “I know there are no guarantees, and I know we’re going to make mistakes and have fights. But I’ve waited a long time to have hope, and I’m done being scared to take the risk. So, yes. I am asking you and your boxes and bras to move in with me.”

  “Yes. Yes, yes, yes,” Natalie said, throwing her arms around his shoulders to kiss him.

  Jonah laughed, his lips against hers. “You sure you don’t want to think about it?”

  “Well, normally, I would consult my boxes and bras, but under the circumstances, I think I can speak for us all when I say that this is the best Christmas present we’ve ever gotten.”

  “Oh, I’m not done,” Jonah said, shifting to reach for the TV remote. A click of a button had the fireplace disappearing, replaced by a black and white storybook and a familiar, old-timey musical score.

  “You’re going to let me watch It’s a Wonderful Life?” she asked, a pop of laughter flying out of her.