Impulse

by Steven Gould

  But she’d recorded it.

  Boys think boys are supposed to do girls, not be done by them.

  The blackmail videos had all been edited down to this last act, with Caffeine’s face digitally obscured.

  Tony’s family was well to the right of religiously conservative. This was too much like gay sex. The threat of his family seeing it had been too much for Tony.

  Eight guys?

  I shuddered.

  Caffeine licked her lips. “Are you going to kill me, too?”

  For a second I’d forgotten about the blood. How hard I’d labored to make the earlier snatches resemble scenes from a slasher movie. Then I realized she thought I’d killed the rest.

  “Why shouldn’t I?”

  She pulled the neck of her shirt down and lowered her eyes toward my crotch. “I’ll do anything. I’ve done anything.”

  Eight guys.

  I lifted my hand, jumped the gap between us, and slapped her.

  She burst into sobs and I jumped all the way back to my room in the Yukon.

  I looked down at my hand, then stumbled into the bathroom, clawing at the balaclava covering my mouth. I barely got it down before I vomited into the toilet.

  THIRTY-ONE

  Millie: Seen Cent?

  “Have you seen Cent?”

  They were both sweating and underdressed for the cabin in winter. Millie had been in Haiti talking with NGOs and Davy had been watching the Stroller and Associates compound in Costa Rica.

  Davy shook his head. “I stuck my head in her room this morning before I left and she was still asleep, but when I came back for a snack midmorning she wasn’t here or at the house. Did you check the house?”

  “Just came from there. No messages on my phone, either.” She paused and licked her lips. “I tried to call her. It went straight to voice mail.”

  “So she’s out of range.”

  “Or her phone is off. Is she with Joe?”

  “No idea. Could you jump your phone back to the house and check your voice mail?”

  He vanished and returned after a few moments.

  “No messages.” He said, his voice too neutral. “Should I leave a message on her voice mail asking her to check in?”

  “Angry?” Millie asked.

  He exhaled hard. “I just think she might let us know where she went or when she would be back.”

  Millie nodded. “It’s okay, Davy. Those are reasonable expectations. You can be irritated.”

  “Ah.” He smiled briefly. “Good.”

  “Let me talk to her about it, all right?”

  He glared. “Afraid I’ll lose my temper?”

  She laughed at him. “Not impossible.”

  He mimed choking someone and she laughed some more.

  “No word on Rama,” he said, which wiped the smile off of Millie’s face.

  “Ah. Well, she promised not to go back there so you don’t have to worry about that. It’s not like she’s facing those kinds of threats here.”

  Davy nodded. “I’m kind of getting desperate. Was thinking of hanging around the docks in Bhangura and letting them come after me.”

  “No! They tried to control you once and it was a disaster for them and they know you’ve been poking around again. Too much chance they’ll just shoot you.”

  He protested. “I’m careful.”

  “They could put a sniper a half mile away. The sound of the shot would arrive seconds after the bullet.”

  “I told you that.”

  “Yes. You told me that so I would be careful! Tell you what, why don’t you have Cent go hang out on the docks until they make a try for her?”

  He looked away. “You’re saying, I guess, that I shouldn’t take risks that I wouldn’t want you or her to take.”

  She touched her own nose with her forefinger.

  He sighed. “So where is she?”

  THIRTY-TWO

  “Spitting Image”

  I hate vomiting. The taste is the worst thing, but after that, it’s the burning irritation that persists in the throat long after you’ve managed to rinse the taste away.

  I can’t imagine how awful it was for Dad during his months of captivity, when they’d triggered his implant and he’d vomited out his guts over and over again.

  Gargling helps but I could only do it for so long.

  Caffeine was still where I’d left her, but now she’d put her coat back on. Her mascara made dark streaks down her cheeks. It was nowhere near as cold as New Prospect, but the temperature was dropping with the sun.

  I didn’t appear in front of her. I crunched across the gravel and she snapped her head around, eyes wide. I didn’t really want to talk to her anymore, but I had one more thing to say.

  “I can just leave you here. You might make it out alive.”

  She clenched her teeth. I could see her jaw muscles bulge.

  “Or we could just end it, now.”

  Her eyes widened even further, whites showing.

  I walked closer, increasing my pace as she scrambled back, trying to get up, to get away. I grabbed her coat near her throat and jumped back to the garage clubhouse. She screamed at the transition, and I let her go. She fell back onto the carpet in front of the couches.

  “Stop with the drugs at the high school. No more blackmail. You run across any more copies of those videos, you delete them.” I took an abrupt step closer to her. “Do that and you won’t see me again. Be good—”

  I jumped behind her and whispered in her ear, “—or else.”

  She screamed and recoiled, but this time I was really gone.

  * * *

  I returned Marius, Hector, and Calvin to the clubhouse an hour later. Grab and release. Hector and Calvin I left staggering away across the carpet, inside. Marius I dropped off the edge of the roof into a small drift of snow on the alley side of the garage.

  I was still holding a grudge, I guess.

  Caffeine was long gone and so was her Honda, so maybe she got the driver door open. Or, more likely, she used the passenger-side door and slid across.

  Back at the cabin, I did a 7-pass secure erase of the partitions on Caffeine’s external backup drive, of her USB drives, and finally the laptop’s drive. If it’s good enough for the Department of Defense, it’s good enough for me.

  Caffeine was asleep when I put the stack of equipment back on her bedroom desk in the predawn morning. She was snoring.

  For a second I thought about making some noise before I jumped away, but I decided it would be creepier if she just found the computer there when she awoke.

  * * *

  “Missed you yesterday,” Mom said Monday morning.

  We’d eaten breakfast and I was finally approaching a state of wakefulness. Dad had gone off someplace, but Mom was lingering over her coffee.

  I felt my face getting red.

  Mom noticed, too, but she ignored it, staring out the window at the heavy icicles. She said, “I don’t mean to pry. It’s not like I have to drive you around or anything. From what I hear, most teenagers’ parents are constantly on the go, either providing transportation or having to buy their kids cars so they can drive themselves around.”

  I nodded. “True. Jade gets it both ways. Complaints that they have to drive too much, but if she tries to walk, say over to Tara’s, they complain about that, too, ’cause someone will, you know, molest her.”

  Mom raised her eyebrows.

  “Uh, so you don’t have to worry about either of those problems, right? Because of my jumping. Don’t have to drive me. Don’t have to worry about me crashing a car. Don’t have to worry about me getting into a situation I can’t jump away from.”

  Mom shook her head. “All I wanted to tell you was that we’d appreciate it if you keep us appraised of your whereabouts. You know, leave a voice mail if you go out. Let us know when you expect to be back. Call us if you’re going to be late. But you bring up a more serious issue.”

  Crap. I never know when to leave well enough alon
e.

  Mom said, “I really wish the only things I had to worry about were acting as your chauffeur and the ordinary dangers of a young woman growing up in America. We both know that’s not the issue.

  “I’m glad you can jump away from danger. But it’s a danger in and of itself. You like Joe, right?”

  I didn’t think I could blush more. I nodded.

  “When you jumped in Bangladesh, to help those girls, it was for the best of reasons. I’m glad you helped them.”

  “This is about Rama. He didn’t do anything wrong and they took him because of me.”

  Mom nodded. “Now put Joe in Rama’s place.”

  Ouch.

  “Be careful. Also, let us know when you’re out and about, right?”

  I thought about the last forty-eight hours and winced. Not so careful. The thought of having to move away had been bad before, but with Joe, now, it was sharply painful.

  “Right.”

  * * *

  Fifteen minutes before first bell Grant was in his usual “safe” place, sitting on the bench opposite administration. I dropped down beside him.

  “How’s Tony?”

  Grant licked his lips. “So-so. His parents kept after him to tell them why until the psychiatrist did a family session with the three of them. Then she asked Tony’s parents to stay away for a week.”

  “Ah.”

  “Yeah. Tony’s thinking about talking to her about, uh, the video. Well, about it and about his parents in general.”

  “He’s not afraid she’ll tell them?”

  “Patient confidentiality.”

  “He is a minor.”

  “Yeah, well, she’s obliged to act in the patient’s best interest, right? It was the threat of his parents finding out that drove him to take the pills in the first place, right?”

  I nodded, but I couldn’t help thinking that the therapist would also be justified in going to the police if she knew the whole story. After all, Dakota and Grant were at risk, as far as Tony knew.

  “Uh, Grant. You might want to tell Tony that Caffeine had a computer accident. Someone wiped her laptop, and her backup drives, and her net storage accounts, and her phone.”

  Grant’s mouth dropped open. “You’re not bullshitting me, are you?”

  “I have it from a very reliable source.”

  “All the copies of that video?”

  “That I don’t know. How did you see it, originally?”

  “She showed it to each of us on her phone.”

  “Maybe all the copies, then. On those devices for sure. My source was kind of hard on Caffeine, too. They don’t think she’ll be bothering you again.”

  Grant bit his lip and looked like he might cry.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “I wasn’t going to give in to her!” He said it in a rush, a fierce whisper. “But I’d given up. I just knew the video would come out.” He looked down at his feet. “It’s almost worse thinking there’s a chance it won’t!”

  I sighed. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.

  “Hope is like that, sometimes.”

  * * *

  On my way to biology, between first and second bell, I saw Joe outside the library. I walked up and put my arms around him, burying my face in his chest.

  I needed that.

  His voice rumbled. “Not a secret any more?”

  I tilted my head up and kissed him. “Not.”

  He grinned. “Okay, then.”

  * * *

  “And when were you going to tell us about this?”

  Tara was giving me grief at lunch.

  Joe was sitting with us … well, sitting with me. We were shoulder to shoulder, hip to hip, and his left arm was around my shoulders.

  Jade smirked. “Didn’t have to tell me.”

  I raised my eyebrows. “Did you see something at the meet? We were very careful. Kept ourselves to ourselves.”

  Jade glanced sideways at Tara. “You were actually pretty chill. But not Joe’s eyes, his voice, his face. You can touch someone with more than just your hands.” She grinned. “See what I did there?”

  I put my hand to my heart. “Touché.”

  She stuck her tongue out at me.

  When I looked back at Joe he was blushing furiously, staring down at his lunch.

  I leaned into him and put my hand on his leg.

  “Haven’t seen Caffeine, today,” Tara noted.

  I studied my free hand’s fingernails.

  Tara narrowed her eyes and leaned forward, studying my face. “Or Hector.”

  Jade was looking at me now, too.

  I turned my attention to my lunch. I’d gone traditional, today: sandwich and an apple.

  Joe was less red, now. He glanced down at my face, too, and raised his eyebrows.

  I looked back. I liked to look at his face, his brown eyes.

  He asked, “Did you do something to Caffeine and Hector?”

  “I refuse to answer because the response could provide self-incriminating evidence of an illegal act punishable by fines, penalties, or forfeiture.” Then I fluttered my eye lashes.

  “Jesus,” said Jade. “She killed them.”

  “No.” I gave them a small smile. “Not yet.”

  Joe straightened up and let his arm drop from around my shoulders.

  I pouted. “‘And they all moved away from me on the Group W bench.’”

  He laughed and put his arm back around me.

  I kissed his cheek and said, “Until I added, ‘—and creating a nuisance.’ And they all moved back.”

  Joe had to explain it to Jade and Tara but he stopped me when I started singing the chorus.

  Spoilsport.

  * * *

  After school, Joe came with us to Krakatoa. He’d suggested something more intimate and I’d been sorely tempted. But I had schoolwork to catch up on. Between this dating thing, and terrorizing the neighborhood, I was falling behind.

  By the time Jade and Tara decided they needed to go, I was more comfortable with my homework situation. I had the final draft of next week’s humanities paper done, as well as the first draft of a report due the following week. I was up to date on the math worksheets and had a start on the design for my science fair project: drag coefficients and posture in downhill snowboarding.

  “You coming?” Jade asked.

  Joe and I were discussing the theoretical top speed a snowboarder could hit using a thirty-eight-degree slope. He actually knew the world record, 125 mph “and a smidge” set by an Australian thirteen years before. We were messing with the values for a board’s snow friction and the coefficient of drag for the upright boarder. Both of us had the calculator apps pulled up on our phones and several scribbled pages of equations and graphs.

  “You kids better go.” I waved Jade and Tara on. “This could get ugly.”

  Tara swung her backpack on and said, “Too late.”

  I was punching in the sine of thirty-nine degrees when the phone rang in my hands. It was Tara’s number. As I hit the answer button I checked under the table.

  “Forget something, Tara?”

  “Come downstairs and get in the Hummer.”

  It was not Tara’s voice. I froze, still bent over. It was Marius. I looked past the railing, out the front windows. I could just see the black Hummer’s custom wheels across the street.

  “Both of you.”

  I heard a slapping sound and I heard Tara cry out and Jade yell. “Leave her alone!”

  “You have two minutes.”

  He disconnected. I swiveled my head sharply, right and left. Joe and I were the only ones on the balcony.

  I stood up and put the phone in my pocket. Joe raised his eyebrows and I hooked his backpack and pulled him by the arm toward the back wall, away from the railing.

  “Trust me?” I asked.

  “Uh, yes?”

  “This is going to be weird, okay. You’re not going crazy. I just want you to remember that.”

  He frowned. “W
hat are—”

  I jumped him to Mrs. Begay’s art classroom, then steadied him when he staggered.

  “—you—what the fuck!”

  He sat down suddenly, at one of the classroom desks, and I dropped his backpack on the desktop. “Not crazy.”

  “What was that?”

  “Explain later, but if I can’t—” The words stuck in my throat for a moment before I blurted them out. “I love you!”

  I jumped away before he could react.

  Back in the coffee shop, his phone and our combined papers still lay on the table. I dropped his phone into the breast pocket of my snowboarding jacket, but left the papers and my backpack. I used my phone to call Dad. It went straight to voice mail so he wasn’t in town. Likewise Mom, though I’d talked to her briefly before walking to Krakatoa.

  I left the same message on both numbers. I didn’t bother telling them the time; the voice mail system would do that.

  I stuffed my phone inside my jacket sleeve, and went down the stairs, quickly, before I could think about it too much. The traffic was brisk and I had to wait for the light.

  Marius rolled down the back passenger-side window as I walked up. “Where’s Joe?”

  He was alone in the back seat. I could see Jason in the driver’s seat, the older man I’d seen once before in this car and the one time on that video from the garage. He was wearing dark sunglasses and looked straight ahead, as if he was ignoring us. I tilted my head to look behind Marius and saw Calvin in the luggage compartment, squashed to one side.

  Marius got louder. “Where. Is. Joe?”

  “He went home,” I said. “He left before you called. Where’s Jade and Tara?”

  In the back, Calvin lifted his arm. His fingers were threaded through Tara’s hair and he held a blocky automatic pistol in his free hand, next to her face.

  I inhaled sharply.

  Marius said to me, “I don’t believe you.”

  “See for yourself!” I said.

  I doubted they’d snatched the girls right here on Main. It was too busy, so they probably weren’t here long enough to know that Joe hadn’t left by the front door.

  Marius looked at Jason. Jason, without turning his head, said, “Put her in the car, then go look.”