The Freshman

by Monica Murphy

  I still don’t understand exactly what came over me earlier, making the suggestion to her that we leave, but I don’t regret it. That dinner was a nightmare. Dad showing me off to his friends. Helena and her disturbingly hungry gaze when I’d catch her watching me. I know she was talking about me with her friend, like she thinks I’m hot or something, and that’s just beyond strange.

  I have zero interest in fucking my dad’s wife.

  Must admit, knowing that Hayden’s dad doesn’t approve of me makes me want to spend even more time with her. Is that why I suggested we leave together?

  Nah, it’s more than that. I’m attracted to this girl. I don’t know much about her, but I like her. Guess she likes me too.

  The car finally stops on top of a hill, right in the middle of a residential area, and Hayden jumps out of the car with a cheery thank you for the driver. I exit the car as well, glancing around, a strong breeze hitting me hard and blowing my jacket open. I press my arm against it, shivering against the coolness that accompanies the wind and Hayden laughs as she approaches me.

  “Colder than I thought it would be out here,” she says.

  My gaze drops to the front of her dress, her nipples poking against the fabric. Yep, just as I suspected.

  No bra.

  “Where the hell are we?” I ask her.

  She stops directly in front of me, ignoring my question. “Come on.”

  I let her take my hand and I follow behind her, just enough distance between us that I can watch the sway of her hips as she walks. The way she moves hypnotizes me, and I’m hit with the temptation to slip my hand beneath her skirt and touch the top of her silky smooth thigh. To slide my fingers into the front of her dress and see what I encounter. To kiss those smirking lips.

  But it probably wouldn’t be too smart to make a move on her when we’re the only two people outside this time of night. She’d probably scream bloody murder and call 9-1-1.

  If she’s smart, she would. She doesn’t know me. I could be anyone.

  “Here we go,” she sing-songs as a church looms ahead of us, the parking lot surrounding it completely empty. She tugs on my hand. “It’s around back.”

  “What’s around back?” I ask, picking up my pace so I can walk beside her.

  “You’ll see,” she says mysteriously.

  We make our way around the giant parking lot to the back of the building, coming upon a kiddie park. As in, it’s a fenced-off area filled with all those plastic houses and slides we used to play on when we were little. There’s also a tall, faded yellow and blue plastic jungle gym with slides coming out on either side and a fake rock wall in the front. Hayden stops in front of it, drops my hand and calls, “Follow me!”

  Then she proceeds to scramble her way up the slide, her sandaled feet scrambling, her skirt flapping up and showing off a fair amount of her perfect ass.

  I just stare and laugh. “What the hell are you doing?”

  “Come up here with me!” She’s standing in the fort part in the center of the structure, a domed blue roof over her head.

  I cup my hands around my mouth and yell, “I’m too tall.”

  She rests her hands on her hips and rolls her eyes. “No, you’re not. Get up here.”

  Giving in, I climb up the other slide that isn’t as steep, my brand-new Gucci shoes slipping on the surface. I send myself sprawling, almost faceplanting into the slide as Hayden just laughs.

  “You can do it!” she encourages.

  I glare at her and, with all my strength, shoot myself up the kiddie slide, duck through the tunnel and find myself in the fort with Hayden. I rise to my feet slowly, worried I’ll hurt myself, but the roof clears my head.

  “See? Not so tall.” She grins up at me, reaching out to touch my cheek. Her fingers burn my skin, rendering my mouth dry. “Look that way.” She curls her fingers around my chin, gently turning my head and my breath catches in my throat at the view.

  The entire city of San Francisco is spread out before us, a twinkling, glittery cityscape view from behind an unassuming old church in a neighborhood in Oakland. “I would charge money for this view,” I breathe as I take it all in.

  “Right? We used to come to this church when I was really small, when we lived nearby,” she explains.

  I glance over at her. “You used to live in Oakland?”

  “Berkeley. A long, long time ago, when I was little, before my dad made all his money.” Her smile is small. Even a little sad. “He told us he used to go to this church when he was a kid, so he brought us all here a lot. Said it made him feel young again, going to church here. I found out later this was right around the time my mom caught him cheating with his assistant. She told me he went to repent, though it’s not a Catholic church, so whatever. I was so young, I didn’t understand. I had no idea what she was talking about. I only figured it all out when I got older.” A sigh leaves her and she takes a step forward, her hands gripping the waist-high wall in front of her, her gaze for the view only. “My parents’ marriage was really fucked-up.”

  I go to stand next to her, my arm brushing hers. Sparks catch at first touch, warming my skin, but I try to play it cool. “My parents’ marriage was fucked-up too. They fought a lot.”

  “Same with mine. A couple of years ago, I had a flash of a memory of this church and Palmer and I drove all over this neighborhood, searching for it. We got so lost.” She laughs, and shakes her head. “I found it by accident.”

  “Why didn’t you ask Siri?” I’m teasing her, and she smiles.

  “I didn’t even know what the church was called. Plus, it was kind of fun, driving aimlessly, no one telling us where to go or what to do. Getting lost together. Palmer and I laughed and laughed the entire time. She got so mad at me, because she had to pee, and there was nowhere she could go. No bathrooms anywhere, no stores to go into, or open fast-food places around. She ended up squatting behind that tree over there.” She points to a giant oak nearby. “And she admitted to me later that seeing the view was worth her nearly peeing her pants.”

  I rest my hands on the wall in front of us, my right hand close to her left one. I could hear the warm affection Hayden has for her sister, and I’m a little jealous. There’s no one I care about like that beyond my friends, and if I were ever to admit that to any one of those assholes, they’d probably make fun of me. I mean, I took my mom’s cat with me when I moved out of the house, and I love that little fucker too, but come on. It’s a cat.

  “You really love your sister,” I say.

  The barest smile curves her lips. “I do.”

  “I have no siblings.” I pause, realization dawning. “Wait. I’m lying. Helena and my dad have twin girls.”

  “London and Paris.” Hayden glances up at me to find I’m already looking at her. I don’t know how she can keep a straight face, saying those names out loud. Together. “They’re adorable.”

  “Those are the stupidest fucking names I’ve ever heard in my life,” I mutter.

  She bursts out laughing, the tinkling sound making my gut twist, and not unpleasantly. “They really are adorable, though.”

  “They are pretty cute,” I agree. “But their names?”

  “Ridiculous.”

  “They’re not even Italian,” I say with light disgust. How did Helena convince my dad to go along with that? Because I know he didn’t come up with those names. No way. That’s all Helena’s doing.

  “Oh, so if you have kids, their names have to be Italian? Like Rocco and Lorenzo and Rosa?”

  “More like Claudia and Francesca and Vincent,” I say, thinking of my cousins with those exact names. “Not going to worry about it though, because I’m never having kids.”

  “You’re not?” Funny how she doesn’t sound surprised.

  I shake my head. “I don’t want to be a father. Don’t plan on ever getting married either. Love is for pussies, remember?” I smile down at her.

  She scoots a little closer, and I can feel the heat from her body emanati
ng toward me. “You know I feel the same way about love. And I don’t ever want to get married either.”

  “Being married is like being in prison,” I say, my voice fierce because I mean it. Look at what marriage did to my parents. Now they hate each other. Dad’s all in love with Helena, but that’ll fall apart eventually. Look at how easily she’s pursuing me when she’s barely been married to my dad for two years.

  Fuck love. Fuck marriage. Fuck it all.

  “Being in a relationship is basically like prison too,” she adds. “Friends come and go. Family is forever, even if you want to shoot most of them.” I laugh at that. “Why put yourself in a long-term relationship when you know, eventually, you’ll just be miserable? It’s too much pressure. Too many expectations.”

  Damn, it’s like this girl set up shop and is now residing in my brain. She’s saying all of the things I feel, and I’ve never met a girl before who thinks like this.

  Thinks like me.

  “Totally agree. I’d rather be alone than in a relationship.” I slide my hand closer to hers, settling two of my fingers over two of hers. “I like you, Channing.”

  “I like you too, Sorrento.” She hip checks me, and I stumble like a dumbass, my hand slipping away from hers. “But we’re not about to embark on anything, you know what I mean?”

  I’m frowning. “No. Explain.”

  She turns to the side, toward me, and my gaze drops to her chest. All that exposed skin. Her nipples beaded little points beneath the thin white fabric of her dress. My mouth waters at the idea of seeing her exposed tits, and I’m about to reach for her waist when she takes a step backwards, as if she knows exactly what I was going to do next.

  The disappointment that crashes through me is undeniable.

  “We have chemistry.” Her voice is low. Sexy. I lean in closer so I can hear her better. “I can feel it. I know you can feel it too. For one, you can’t stop staring at my chest.”

  Busted. I lift my gaze to hers to see her eyes are full of amusement. “Sorry.”

  “Don’t apologize. I can’t stop staring at you either. You’re extremely good looking,” she admits.

  I stand a little taller, pleased by her words, and nearly hit myself on the plastic roof. “You’re fucking gorgeous.”

  “Thank you,” she says with a laugh, shaking her head. “But I think it’s best if we remain friends only.”

  What the hell? “Why?”

  “I like you too much. I think this could be a great friendship. And sex only gets in the way.” She turns to look at the view once more, but I’m too stuck on staring at her, absorbing her words.

  “What do you mean, sex only gets in the way?” I sound like a dumbass, but maybe my brain is too clouded over with lust and I can’t really focus on the friend part.

  “It’ll ruin everything. Mess with our heads, trick us into thinking we’re capable of having a casual thing, when, deep down, we know our feelings will eventually take over everything else. We’ll fall in love, we’ll be the golden couple on campus, and then we’ll slowly but surely start to resent each other. Until eventually, it’ll turn into a giant nightmare and we’ll get into horrific screaming matches in public. Our friends will secretly place bets on when we’ll end things, and some of them will beg us to do it because they’re so sick of our shit. It’ll turn into this monotonous pattern of fighting and fucking, until eventually, we break up.”

  I gape at her, struck dumb by her explanation, her vision. All of it. What she says sounds kind of hot, but also really messed up. “How much exactly did you have to drink tonight?”

  She laughs and laughs. “Not a drop. You’re just shocked by what I said because, deep down, you know that’s a fairly accurate assessment of what could happen.”

  “I have no idea what would happen between us. I can’t see into the future.”

  “I can. I don’t even need a crystal ball.” She sends me an amused look.

  “Look, I had zero plans to take this beyond a casual hookup.” Unable to stop myself, I reach out, drifting my fingers down her arm. Goosebumps rise at my touch, pleasing me. Look at how responsive she is, and I’m barely touching her. “Possibly turning into friends with benefits.”

  “Is that offer supposed to flatter me?”

  I drop my hand from her arm. “I don’t know. Did I offend you?”

  “Not really, but that’s not how it’s going to work for us, Sorrento. Like I said, I like you too much. We like each other too much.”

  “I barely know you,” I practically scoff.

  “You want to know more.”

  She’s not wrong, damn it. “I can keep this casual.”

  “Really?” She arches a brow and takes a step back, reaching for the tie at her waist. “So if I were to strip down right now, drop to my knees and give you a blow job, you’d let me walk away after I let you come in my mouth?”

  Jesus fucking Christ, hell yes, is what I’m dying to say.

  Instead, something else comes out of my mouth.

  “I’d worry about you. How would you get home?”

  “That’s my problem. We’re strictly casual, remember?” Hayden slowly undoes the tie, her top loosening, offering me a glimpse of the swell of her breasts. “What if I told you I’m a big girl and I don’t need a man to help me get home?”

  I scrub a hand over my face, trying to sort through my suddenly chaotic thoughts. The top of her dress is completely loose now, that V neck open wide, the edges literally catching on her nipples. It’s a complete tease of a view, showing me something, but not everything. “You’d be all alone on a Saturday night in an unfamiliar neighborhood. That’s dangerous.”

  “Like I am right now? All alone with you? In an unfamiliar neighborhood? Are you dangerous, Tony?” She reaches beneath her skirt, hands going to her hips before she starts to tug downward. Next thing I know, her panties have fallen to her knees and she holds onto the blue wall, carefully stepping out of them, until they’re nothing more but a crush of sheer nude lace crumpled in her hand. “You could take total advantage of me right now, if you wanted to. I could scream and scream, and no one would hear me. Even if they did, they’d brush it off. Believe someone else would call the cops, because no one ever wants to get involved. You could have your way with me all night out here, and I couldn’t do a thing to stop you.”

  My body goes stiff, and not in the good way. I’m both turned on and disgusted by what she just said. “I would never do that to you.”

  “See? You’re proving my point.” She shifts closer, smacking her hand against my chest, her panties pressed against my shirt. She removes her hand, leaving the panties to fall and I catch them, clutching them in my palm. “If this was casual between us, you would readily agree to all of that. You wouldn’t care what I thought about you, and you definitely wouldn’t worry about me getting hurt either. You’d be too focused on the fact that my tits are practically hanging out, and I just took off my thong, and I offered to give you a free blowjob. That’s all that would matter.”

  I blink at her, hating that she’s right. I barely know her, yet I don’t want to treat her like that. I respect her too damn much.

  I respect women in general too damn much.

  “Shit,” I moan, hanging my head back, and she laughs some more. My agony must really crack her up.

  “Don’t feel so bad. You’re one of the good guys. I knew it the moment I met you.”

  “Really?”

  She nods, smug as hell with her confidence. “Definitely. So while I’m sure it would be amazing between us, and I’d probably rock your world, we can never go there. You wouldn’t be able to walk away from me.”

  Now it’s my turn to laugh. “You really think so?”

  “Oh, I know so. I can see it in your big brown eyes, which are very beautiful, I might add. Everything that makes up your face is worthy of a magazine cover. Or a romance book cover. Do you read romances, Tony?”

  “Fuck no,” I immediately say.

  “You sh
ould. You might learn a thing or two. Anyway, what was I saying? Oh, I know. You’re a good guy, and you’re attracted to me, and I can admit I’m attracted to you, but it would never work, because we share the same views when it comes to relationships, and it’s that relationships suck. So we’re just going to have to be friends. That’s it. End of story.” She looks toward the view one more time, her hands going to the fabric belt at the front of her dress, redoing it so the fabric covers her breasts once more. “You weren’t even tempted when I had my tits out.”

  I was so fucking tempted. But I don’t say so. Instead, I shove my hand into my pants’ pocket, stashing her panties there. I’m keeping them. Maybe that makes me a perv, but I don’t give a shit.

  “I’m more of a leg man,” I tell her, which is the truth.

  Her lips curve. “Should we get out of here?”

  “How are we getting home?”

  “Uber, duh.” She whips her phone out of the pocket of her dress and starts tapping. “They’ll be here in ten minutes. Wanna make a bet it’s the same car that dropped us off?”

  Before I can say anything, she’s gone, sliding down the slide, hands clutching her skirt since she got rid of her panties, screaming as she goes. I watch her, fascinated with the way she dances across the grass, skipping and turning as she opens the little gate of the playground and turns to look at me, waving her hand.

  “Let’s go, Sorrento!”

  I go down the slide as well, making my way toward her. She runs ahead of me, her skirt swaying, her laughter infectious. I can’t help but smile, despite the feeling that I lost something tonight.

  Pretty sure I lost my chance at her.

  She turns, walking backwards, pointing at me. “Swear we’ll find each other on campus.”

  “I swear.” I hold my hand up, wishing I had a stack of Bibles.

  “You won’t blow me off because I wouldn’t blow you?” A giggle escapes her, and I wonder if she’s drunk.