While You Were Reading

by Ali Berg

  ‘I love you too, Zachary Harris,’ she declared, and she meant it.

  Zach’s face transformed. His eyes shone with a new sparkle and he kissed Bea with a desire she had never felt from him before. A kiss fuelled by desperation and need – there was no hesitation, no ‘let’s go slow’. In one movement, Zach collected Bea in his arms and carried her into her bedroom, throwing her onto the bed. It was like she had just opened a good book, a new sense of life consuming her. He kissed her again passionately before pulling off his top. It was like saying ‘I love you’ had been a trigger for him. He no longer wanted to wait. Bea mirrored Zach’s actions and removed her silk blouse.

  But then, all of a sudden, Zach stopped and stared longingly into her eyes. His breathing was ragged, as if he wasn’t quite sure what to do next. So, Bea kissed him again, first slowly, and then more urgently. And it was when she made a husky, exhaling sound that Zach’s whole body relaxed. He ran his hands up and down her body chaotically, taking her in greedily. She leaned into him, wanting nothing more than to absorb his touch. Kissing her neck, a low groan escaped from his mouth. He pulled her on top of him and she wrapped her legs around him, running her fingers through his hair. They couldn’t get close enough. He unclasped her bra at the same time as she unbuckled his belt, limbs moving too quickly for their thoughts to keep up.

  ‘I want you. Every part of you,’ he whispered through his kisses, and she exhaled louder than she had intended to.

  ‘I want you too.’

  Helloisthisyourbook

  The Nook in my new fancy shoes

  Scribble of the day: Let me in. I promise not to let you go.

  I asked him about this one. He said it was about him opening up to the world, letting himself and his true desires in. Oh, how I love him and his mind. (Yes, I went there. I LOVE HIM!)

  95 likes

  Comments (11):

  NoOffenceBut: After a few weeks? Please.

  elephantintheroom: Follow for follow?

  butfirstletmetakeashelfie: *heart melting*

  StephenPrince: @NoOffenceBut, can I move back in yet?

  NoOffenceBut: @StephenPrince, definitely not. We’re on a break.

  Fitnesstrainer111: Wanna lose weight? Like my page.

  Dino: Look what I just found in my Twitter inbox: @SophPearson: Hey @CuppaDino. So sorry I can’t make your book speed dating tonight after all. Last minute deadline emergency – you know how it is! Anyway, enjoy it – hopefully I’ll make the next one.

  Bea: Well, that sucks. PS You’re on Twitter?!

  Dino: I’m only there for Trump’s hilarious tweets. But, don’t worry, Bea. We’ve got this!

  Bea locked her phone and tossed it across the bed a little harder than she meant to. She knew Sophie Pearson rocking up to her random little book event was too good to be true. Oh well, tonight will still be great, Bea told herself about the Next Chapter event she was hosting that evening, not quite believing it. It was only six in the morning, and Bea wasn’t planning on dragging herself out of bed until at least nine. But the disappointment of Dino’s message had throttled her awake, and she suddenly felt antsy.

  She turned to face a sleeping Zach. He was wearing nothing but loose boxer shorts, his bare chest gently rising with each breath. Bea lightly traced his jaw with her fingertips, careful not to wake him. Something seemed to have shifted in Zach of late. He seemed transformed. Present. He had stayed over almost every night since they had first slept together two weeks ago. Possibly only because he knew how in need of human contact Bea was now that she spent her long, jobless days mostly alone at home, preparing for Next Chapter and scrounging around for freelance gigs, but still, it made Bea indescribably happy having Zach around. He even left a peppermint tea by her bed before he left for work each morning, gave her massages before bed and, on one occasion, picked up a chocolate meringue from the 24/7 bakery down the road, when he knew she had been craving one.

  Plus, the sex. Oh, the sex. It was the best, the very best, she had ever had. But there was something about how Zach touched her, the way he made her skin tingle and her hips arch, that was nothing short of phenomenal. She was almost embarrassed by the fact that every time they were alone, she found a way to initiate getting back into bed. Bea rolled over and nestled into the crook of his arm, slipping her leg over his.

  ‘Good morning,’ she whispered, unable to resist kissing his chest.

  Zach’s head lolled to the side, his eyes crunching tightly closed. ‘Is it morning already?’ he said in a just-woken-up voice.

  She rolled onto him and they embraced, him tickling her back with his fingertips.

  ‘So, babe, what’re we doing today?’ Zach asked, eyes still closed.

  ‘Don’t you need to start getting ready for work?’ Bea cringed at ‘babe’, brushed it off (nobody’s perfect) and then curled her legs tighter around his, already preparing for her morning in bed, alone.

  ‘Not today. I called in sick last night.’ He faked a cough, sounding only slightly more alert.

  Bea looked at him quizzically even though she knew he couldn’t see her.

  ‘Today’s a really important day for you.’ Zach cupped her face between his hands, finally peeling his eyes open. ‘It’s your big Next Chapter event tonight. I can’t have you stressing about it all by yourself.’ He kissed her lightly on the forehead.

  Bea smiled. ‘How did I get so lucky?’ she said and smothered him with kisses.

  Bea tried to focus on what the lanky, middle-aged man sitting across from her was saying. He was holding a hardcover book the size of a hamster, and had been, for the past four and a half minutes, prattling on about Sir John Monash. In spite of her best efforts, Bea had only managed to catch fragmented phrases, such as ‘civil engineer’, ‘equip yourself for life’ and ‘a great and distinguished military legacy’. She shifted in her seat, nodding and smiling politely, all the while thinking, I’m a failure, a complete and utter, useless failure.

  She looked around the room. Apart from the usual suspects – Zach, Ruth and Dino – there had only been five and a half additional attendees. The biography-loving gentleman who sat opposite her, the two women from the Little Brunswick Street Bookstore, one of whom kept doing squats between book talks, both clutching copies of Jane Austen classics (Emma and Sense and Sensibility), a young girl who couldn’t have been much older than sixteen who wielded a thick stack of Virginia Woolf ’s novels, and Sunday. The ‘half ’ accounted for the guy in his twenties who walked past the café, spied a stack of cupcakes sitting behind the ‘Next Chapter: Free Food and Books’ sign, did a double-take, entered and not so subtly swiped two red velvets before backing away slowly. Lizzie hadn’t even been able to make it. She was in Perth for some West Coast Eagles event Nick was speaking at. To make up for it though, and perhaps in an attempt to put the whole ‘your boyfriend is a massive flirt’ debacle behind her, she had been tweeting about the event like crazy.

  Quality, not quantity, Bea told herself again as she stood to shake Mr Biog’s hand and wandered over to the little taco-shaped biscuits she had ordered in the hopes of making the event feel more festive. Grabbing one of the delicacies and a serviette, she took a bite, swallowing her feelings along with the sugary goodness. She had been so full of hope for tonight’s event, sure it would be different this time, more bustling, more vibrant, less . . . pathetic. Between the Sophie Pearson coup and her sister’s relentless tweets, Bea had built the evening up so much in her head that she hadn’t even allowed herself to consider that it would be anything less than a raging success.

  Finishing off the biscuit, she locked eyes with Dino, who smiled reassuringly, giving her the thumbs up before returning to his conversation with Sunday. Just then, a figure sidled up behind her and, before Bea could say To Kill a Mockingbird, arms were laced around her waist.

  ‘Zach?’ Bea said, some of the tension falling away as she turned around, extricating herself from the arms.

  Bea froze. She blinked twice, squeezing her
eyes shut each time, certain she was looking at the face of a ghost.

  ‘Bea, I caught you!’ Cassandra, dressed head to toe in black, said with a half-smile.

  Cassandra, Bea’s long lost best friend. The very same best friend whose wedding she had ruined. The very same best friend Bea had been trying to contact, to no avail, for the past few months. Cassandra stood there looking dazzling as always, as time fell away. Even though it had been so long, it felt like only yesterday that the pair were living in each other’s back pockets. Like nothing had changed. Does she finally forgive me? Bea thought, hopefully.

  ‘Cass? You’re here?’ Bea stumbled over her words. ‘How are you here?’ She subconsciously inched closer to Cassandra, her face feeling hot.

  ‘I follow Lizzie on Twitter and, fifty tweets later, I couldn’t keep ignoring you, or this, ah, event,’ Cassandra said in an apathetic tone, giving the room the once over. ‘I was in Melbourne for work, so I thought, why the hell not swing by?’

  ‘Does this mean you forgive me? That we can start over?’ Bea asked, unable to hide the glee in her voice. Suddenly it all felt worthwhile – the heartache, the disappointment, the busting her chops for the chance at a fresh start – because it had brought Cassandra back into her life.

  ‘How about I let the book do the talking? That’s what this little event is all about, after all, right?’ Cassandra said, narrowing her eyes just slightly, judgement dripping from her voice.

  Bea backed away slightly, remembering the infrequent, but flippant manner in which Cassandra could make her feel intolerably small. ‘Oh yeah, of course.’ Bea felt a rush of heat wash down her back. Tentatively, she looked down at Cassandra’s outstretched hands and picked up the literary offering. Turning it over, she read the title aloud ‘Great Expectations?’ The words ‘you are in every line I have ever read’ flashed across her mind.

  ‘Thanks so much for bringing a book. You really didn’t have to! It was enough for you just to be here.’ Bea tried to grab at Cassandra’s hand, but she pulled away.

  Instead, Cassandra lazily pointed at the book with one slender finger. Obliging, Bea peeled open the worn cover and flipped through the first few pages, running her finger down its empty margins. Like magic, a folded sheet of paper fluttered to the floor. Crouching to retrieve it, Bea opened it up. Tucked away in the top left corner of the page sat a passport-sized photo of Zach. Bea stood up, the suddenness of the movement causing her to feel momentarily woozy, and looked at Cassandra quizzically, before devouring the words on the pages.

  That’s when her heart truly sank. Even further than the book which fell from her open hands.

  Bea took one last look at the Airtasker profile in her hands before storming across the room and pushing the piece of paper towards Zach, her heart pounding. She felt light-headed. ‘What is this, Zach?’

  Tentatively, Zach took the piece of paper from Bea’s hand, his eyebrows creased in confusion, or perhaps concern. Unfolding it, he ran his eyes down the page, shaking his head. ‘Shit, Bea, I can explain.’

  ‘Airtasker? What the hell is Airtasker and why on earth does your profile say “I’ll do just about anything, winky face”?’ Bea asked, hands on hips.

  ‘Should I tell her or would you prefer to?’ Cassandra said, appearing beside Bea.

  Bea looked from Zach to Cassandra, taken aback. ‘You two know each other?’

  ‘You could say that.’ Cassandra gave a cold laugh.

  Bea could feel eyes prickling along her back. Hushed whispers and lingering looks followed the group. Bea grabbed Zach by the elbow and pulled him into the kitchen, away from prying eyes and ears.

  Squashed between the narrow bench and industrial dishwasher, Zach stared at his feet. He looked genuinely terrified. Then he stepped towards Bea. ‘Bea, before I say anything, you need to remember how much I care about you. How much I love you and how special getting to know you has been. Please, please, just hear me out.’ Zach ran his hands through his hair, which suddenly looked limp and lacklustre. Taking another step towards her, he tried to take her hand, but Bea recoiled. A touch that just minutes before had filled her with hope and light now stung like a freshly scabbed wound.

  ‘Zach, you’re scaring me.’ Bea trembled, glancing at Cassandra. Her mind was in overdrive. She tried furiously to figure out how Zach could know Cassandra. Had Cassandra ever mentioned a tall glass of water named Zach from Melbourne? Could they be long lost relatives? Was Cassandra here to kiss and make up? Or was Zach her attempt to kiss and make up? But Bea kept coming back to a lingering sensation of doom. And the fact that she needed answers before her head imploded.

  Zach took a deep breath. ‘A couple of months ago, Cassandra got in touch with me through my Airtasker profile.’

  Bea shook her head. ‘What the hell is Airtasker?’ she repeated.

  ‘It’s an online community of people offering various trades and skills on the cheap. I’ve been a little tight on cash and was looking for a way to squeeze in some odd jobs here and there. I’m trying to save up to open my business. I’ve always dreamed about opening my own PT studio.’

  ‘A PT studio? What are you talking about? You’re an editor, why would you want to open a personal training business? You’re not making any sense.’ Bea was on the verge of hysterical laughter. But something told her this was no joke.

  ‘Cut to the chase, Zach.’ Cassandra pushed forward. ‘I hired him to woo you and then, once you were smitten, break your heart. But it seems he was unable to follow through, so I’ve had to take matters into my own hands. And don’t think you’re getting that bonus.’ She glared at Zach.

  Bea felt nauseous. Everything she’d believed in, all the goodness she’d seen in Zach and the intensity of feelings she’d felt between them shattered before her eyes. ‘You did what?’ she yelped, unable to make sense of what her so-called friend had just said.

  ‘You didn’t think you’d get away with it, did you?’ Cassandra said, arms crossed. ‘Humiliating me? Destroying my relationship? Stealing my every happiness? Bea, you ruined me. Ruined me! My family has just about ostracised me, they’re so embarrassed. And Matt refuses to forgive me, refuses to even talk to me. No matter what I say, he won’t see my indiscretion for what it was – a stupid, drunken mistake that meant nothing.’ Cheeks flushed and eyes wet with grief, Cassandra’s shoulders heaved with every word. ‘I’ve been assaulted by email after email from his lawyers. He’s determined to get the marriage annulled. And while my life was falling to pieces, what do you do? Slink away as if nothing happened! You were meant to be my friend, my best friend, but you abandoned me after taking a huge dump on my life!’ She yelled as a single tear traced down her cheek.

  Bea was dumbfounded. She’d always known Cassandra had a predisposition for drama and a tendency to be passive aggressive. Like when she stopped speaking to Bea for weeks when she felt that she wasn’t making enough effort to ‘nurture their relationship’. But Bea never saw this betrayal coming.

  ‘So, this was all a lie?’ Bea mustered after several seconds of silence, turning back to Zach. ‘We were a lie?’ Zach opened his mouth, but before he could say anything, Bea faced Cassandra again and continued, ‘Cassandra, I know what I did was terrible. Unforgivable, maybe. But it was an honest mistake. And I haven’t stopped begging you to forgive me, for you to let me help make this better. I moved to Melbourne to give you the space you asked for! You know I could never be so callous intentionally. That I would never do anything to hurt you on purpose.’ Bea paused, still unable to comprehend how her oldest, supposedly dearest friend could take such hideous revenge on her. ‘But what you’ve done, this premeditated betrayal . . . I can’t believe that you could despise me so much.’ Zach’s duplicity was one thing, but such an attack on her by a friend, a friend she had idolised for almost her entire life, was too much to fathom. Too much to bear.

  Cassandra stared back at Bea, her features sharper, colder than Bea had remembered. Suddenly, she was almost completely unrecognisable. W
here were the delicate laugh lines that usually creased her eyes? The lines that traced their shared history, all of their happy memories of reading Charlotte’s Web and The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe and A Little Princess by torchlight, hidden under bed covers during countless slumber parties. Of exchanging emails during university lectures, salivating over the love stories in the pages of Outlander and The Time Traveler’s Wife. Of each time Cassandra was there to read between the lines of every text message and unpick Bea’s failed dates. Of the time Cassandra asked Bea to be her maid of honour. Of watching Cassandra walk down the aisle, her heart bursting with pride and love. And now, those memories dissolved before her very eyes. Or had I remembered it all wrong? Bea thought. Either way, none of it meant anything now.

  ‘You know what, Cassandra. I’ve been beating myself up about what I did, about my stupid slip of the tongue, when, in fact, I wasn’t the one who slept with the damn topless waiter! No, that was you!’ Bea suddenly snapped. She’d moved from shock, to denial, to outright rage. ‘And what poetic justice for you. Hiring some kind of . . . some kind of escort! You must be very proud of yourself.’

  Cassandra huffed in reply, not used to Bea being so defiant.

  Taking advantage of the moment of silence, Zach stepped in. ‘I’m not an escort! Bea, you’ve got it all wrong.’