Steele

by Kelly Gendron

  Usually, I can’t get a good night’s sleep at any hotel, but with the day off, I slept in this morning and didn’t get up till ten. It’s odd for that to happen on any given Tuesday. Got a call last night that Steele was able to finish the last two stunts yesterday while I was still in New York. Now, I just need to go in after the editing is complete on Thursday to give the insurance’s final approval. After that, I’m done. That must be why I haven’t heard from Steele. He was busy yesterday finishing the stunts, and now, he’s finished with me. I’m glad I kept my heart in check after I took what I could from him this past weekend.

  And I think he was right. I needed to know why he was damaged, and after finding out what his mother did to him, it made him more real. I now understand why he refuses to do any water stunts. I’m sure watching someone you love trying to drown your little brother, someone else you love, would scar you for life. Breaks my heart when I think about what those two little boys went through in that apartment all those years ago. His mother did so much damage to Steele’s heart, breaking it in such a way that he believes it’ll never be whole again. That must be why Steele thinks he’s unlovable.

  I take a shower, and since I don’t plan on going anywhere today, I slip on a pair of yoga pants and a tee shirt. Hungry, I pick up the phone to call room service. There’s a light knock on the door. I set the receiver back down, my heart skipping a beat.

  What if it’s Steele?

  I shake my head when I hear another knock. His knuckles could never strike the door that softly. I walk over to the door and peek through the hole. Shit! It’s … oh, what’s her name? I open the door and smile. “Hi, Harley.”

  “Hey, I need to go shopping for a dress for this shindig I have at the theatre on Friday. I would ask Jaggs to go with me, but well, Jaggs and I really aren’t on the same wavelength about a lot of things. Anyway …” She pushes a few strands of long dark blond hair behind her ear. “I had a good time with you and Steele the other night. And I hope you don’t mind, but when I bumped into Steele at Crash’s shop earlier, and he mentioned that you had the day off, I asked him where you were staying.” She smiles big, revealing the top row of her pearly whites. “So what do you say? How about a girls’ day out? We can go get a couple of mimosas at The Vanilla Factory, maybe get our nails done at Polish Me Pretty, and do a little shopping at the Chateaux?” She stops, her smile starting to fade. It makes me wonder what my face must look like right now. “I’m really not good at doing this shit.” Her shoulders drop. “Token says it’d be good for me to make new friends, and while I know you’re going back to Chicago soon, I just thought⸻”

  “Sure, it sounds great,” I say, trying to save her. I get it. Friends come few and far in between in my world as well. “Come on in.” I open the door and step back. “I just need to change.”

  “Okay.” Her smile resurfaces. “Thanks.”

  I close the door, but my curiosity gets the best of me, and I turn back to Harley. “So Steele’s over at Crash’s?”

  “He was this morning, but he said he had to stop by work for something. That’s what got us talking about you. Are you two, um … I’m sorry.” Her cheeks flush pink. “It’s none of my business.”

  “It’s all right.” I smile. “Did Steele say what we were?”

  “No. He’s pretty private about stuff like that. I shouldn’t have said anything.” She waves her hand.

  “That’s okay. We’re sort of friends, I guess. It doesn’t seem fair to try to be anything else, because as you said, I’m going back to Chicago. Honestly, Steele’s not the kind of guy I’d date, anyway. His occupation is a huge turn-off for me.”

  “Really? But don’t you work with him?”

  “No. I work for the insurance company that covers his stunts. My job is to keep my company protected by keeping him safe.”

  “Interesting. Well, thanks for keeping Steele safe.” She lowers her voice. “He’s my favorite Kane brother.”

  “Yeah, there’s what, like five of them?”

  “Yes, not including Lurlene, of course, but I’m sure you haven’t met her yet. She lives in Manhattan.”

  “No but yes, Steele’s mentioned her.”

  A couple of hours later after a couple of mimosas, we’re laughing at each other as we take turns trying on the most outrageous outfits. And bent over, laughing hysterically, I realize that Harley and I could be friends. Cosmo always said you surround yourself with people who have qualities you admire but feel you lack yourself. She shines in my faults, and I appreciate her for it.

  I prance around outside the dressing room in a huge puffy dress covered in feathers.

  “Oh, that’s … hey …” Harley waves a finger at the awful thing hanging from my body. “We should throw an ugly dress party. Ya know, like they do for Christmas sweaters, and you could wear that.” She starts laughing again as she digs through her purse to find her ringing cell.

  I twirl around and look in the mirror. “This is horrible. Who would wear this thing?” My eyes shift to Harley’s wide ones, her expression falling from happy to … “What’s wrong?”

  “It’s Steele.” She blinks, lowering the cell from her ear. “He’s, ah, been in an accident.”

  I stare into the mirror, heart racing and palms sweating. Not again. I can’t do it again. “Is he …?” I swallow down the fear clawing up my dry throat. “Is he okay?”

  “I don’t know. All Token said was that he’s on his way to the hospital now.”

  Unable to move my cemented feet, I take another long look at the ugly dress, wishing it was the worst part of the day, but I know it’s not. Tragedy is always trying to be my friend, lurking in the corner just waiting to come out. I don’t want any part of it. I can’t do it again. “Okay.” I look back at Harley who’s patiently waiting for my reaction. “I’ll go change, and then you can take us to the hospital. You know which one he’s at?”

  She nods.

  “Okay, good.” I nod my head a crazy number of times before heading back into the changing room.

  Please make him be okay. I can’t do it. I just can’t do it again. If he’s okay, I’ll leave. I promise, tragedy, I’m gone. I’ll hightail it right out of here the minute I know he’s okay. You got Trevor. You can’t have him too.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  STEELE

  Token enters the room. The nurse who’s about to stick my arm with a needle does a double take. I’m used to it. Women tend to do that with him. He’s⸻how can I say it? Impressive? I think it’s all the tatts, the 17-inch biceps, and the beard. Not to mention, the piercing green eyes that transport him from intimidating to enticing. At least for the ladies. The guys, generally, not so much. The smart ones know when to back off. He’s a retired boxer, and when I say retired, I mean he doesn’t fight for fame or fortune anymore. But he practices daily, and it shows.

  Token scans the room, barely taking notice of the attractive nurse holding a very sharp object over my arm. Since meeting Harley, he’s lost all interest in other women, and I can’t say I blame him. Harley is a great girl. I liked her from the get-go.

  His casual eye stroll halts at Crash. “What’s up with him?”

  I glance over at my little bro scowling with his arms crossed over a blood-soaked shirt. “Shit, Crash. I told you. It ain’t your fault.”

  “I know,” he grumbles. He’s been a fucking mess ever since the NASCAR shit and Josh’s death. Poor guy. I miss the old Crash—the funny, wise-ass who gave a shit about himself. This new one sucks, but we all got our issues. I’ll be there no matter what any of my bros are going through. They’re blood.

  “Oh-ho, I get it.” Token chuckles, thumbing at him. “Crash Gordan here was driving?”

  “Yeah. Some fuckin’ dickhead⸻”

  “Hey,” Token cuts Crash off, jabbing his chin toward the young nurse who just broke skin.

  I clench my fist harder. Got no problem jumping out of a moving vehicle or soaring out of a win
dow from a five-story building, but I’m a big baby when it comes to needles.

  “Some jerk,” Crash corrects with a quick smirk, “pulled out in front of me. I swerved to get out of the way and hit a guardrail. The car jolted back onto the street, and a truck struck us on Steele’s side.”

  “Hit your head, huh?” Token goes in for a closer look at the sutures on Crash’s forehead.

  “It ain’t nothin’,” he says, trying to brush it off.

  “Ya don’t say? It sure did bleed a lot,” Token points at Crash’s bloodied shirt.

  “Stone’s bringing me a clean one.”

  “Good,” Token says, taking a more thorough look at me. “And you, you’re all right?”

  I nod. “Just a cracked rib and bruised chest. Doc says nothing serious. I’m waitin’ to go down for a CT scan to check out my noggin’.” I tap the side of my head with my knuckles.

  “Oh, boy.” Nix comes strolling in, shaking his head and taking a long pause to appreciate the nurse. “Don’t do it, man. They’ll find out what’s really going on in that head of yours.”

  “And what’s that?” The nurse smiles, batting her eyes at Nix as she finishes taping up my IV thing. She must be one of those chicks who goes for the nerdy type. Not that Nix has any problem getting women. The single dad gig works for him, and like the rest of us, he stays in shape.

  “Whole lot of nothin’.” He smiles back at the blushing nurse. “I’m Nix, and you are?”

  “Just leaving,” she says, her voice a hint higher.

  “Ohhh,” we all tease as the chick leaves Nix in the dust.

  “Don’t fret, brothers of mine, I’ll get her number before I leave.”

  “Yeah, sure, okay ...” we all comment in accord.

  “Really, I will. You dogs didn’t see the little wink she gave me before she left the room. She wants me.” He turns his attention to me. “You okay?”

  “I’m good.” I nod.

  “Ya better be,” Stone says as he enters the room, tossing a shirt at Crash. “Ma’s on her way here.”

  “Fuck.” I push up in bed, proving my well-being to Stone while he does a thorough inspection of me.

  Stone pats Crash on the back as he passes by him. “So you assholes got in a car accident?”

  “Nothin’ serious, but we busted up Crash’s client’s corvette.” I look at Crash, waiting for him to pull the clean shirt on, so he can correct me. He’s anal about cars.

  “A 2008 Chevrolet Corvette 427 Limited Edition Z06 Coupe,” he says as his head pops through the shirt hole. “What the fuck?” His eyes dart from the shirt to Stone.

  “Thought you’d like that.” Stone rubs a finger over his lips as if trying to swipe away a grin. “Becca sent it to me last year. What?” His finger shoots out. “Didn’t you assholes get one?”

  “No.” Nix laughs. “She thought since you were in a band, you’d like it best.”

  “What’s wrong, Crash? Not a Bieber fan?” Stone struggles to keep a straight face as he looks at an irate Crash garbed in an I Love Justin Bieber T-shirt.

  “Fuck you,” Crash says, turning to go for his bloody shirt on the window ledge, but Nix is quicker. He snatches it and tosses it in the infectious waste garbage bin. “Fucker.” Crash pushes Nix against the wall.

  Nix’s response? Laughter.

  “Hey.” Token grabs Crash, yanking him from Nix. “We’re in a hospital, dude.”

  “Ah, don’t worry about it.” Stone shrugs. “You can pull off the look with that gash on your head. It makes you look badass,” he says with a curled lip and pumped fist. “You look like a tough Bieber lover.” He chuckles.

  Crash draws his arm back, but Token’s got a good hold of him. He leans down and whispers something into his ear, and Crash’s shoulders start to relax.

  “Here.” Nix pulls his light blue yuppie golfer shirt off. “I like the Bieber.” He hands Crash his shirt just as my pretty nurse enters the room. Naked from his khakis up, Nix smiles at her. “Well, hello again.”

  “Hi.” She laughs. “I like the Bieber too.”

  “You do?” Nix balls his shirt up in his hands. Pecs flexing, he takes a step toward her. “Maybe we could compare playlists sometime?”

  “Maybe.” Her eyes move to his chest. “But you need to put your shirt back on, or I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

  “Yes, ma’am.” He shakes out his shirt.

  “No.” Crash walks over. “This one.” He strips the Bieber shirt off and hands it to Nix.

  The nurse’s attention moves from one half-naked brother to the next. Can’t blame her, the tatt on Crash’s back is enough to catch anyone’s eyes, especially if you don’t know him. Crash turns, and the nurse looks up at him, her eyes softening. His angelic face always seems to weaken the demon on his back.

  “No problem.” Nix grabs the Bieber shirt and yanks it over his head.

  “They’ll be up here in about ten minutes to take you for your scan, Mr. Kane,” the nurse says, her eyes temporarily meeting mine.

  “Thanks.” I smile.

  “So …” Nix says, following the nurse as she leaves the room.

  “Hey.” Harley comes charging in the room, eyes snapping from me to Token. “What happened?” She stops in front of Token.

  “Hey, I can talk for myself, and I’m⸻” Jay walks into the room and like my voice, everyone in the room comes to a complete halt.

  Stark fear, bold and fierce, stretches the lines in her beautiful face. What is she doing here? Shit, that’s right. Harley had been asking about her earlier, something about a girl’s day or some shit.

  Jay moves toward me as though oblivious to everything else in the room besides me. I hold my breath, and I think everyone else is too. The silence of her presence as she walks up to my bed, her eyes touching every exposed part of my body, speaks volumes as to what’s really going on between us. She’s not some chick, some Chicago passerby I’m sleeping with. She’s not the woman who controls my stunts, and she’s not a random girl my family got to meet a few weeks ago at a bar. She means more to me, and by the quietness of the room, everyone knows it.

  She reaches a shaky hand to my face and palms my cheek. Her eyes still searching me. “You’re okay?”

  I swallow hard, fearful if I don’t, I won’t get the words out. So this is what it feels like to have someone you care about, care about you. To have that person worry about you. It’s my ma’s job, but Jay … the fear alone in her eyes is enough to make me want to stop. Shit! Oh, hell no. That’s why I’m single. “Yes. I’m okay.”

  “Good.” She blinks a couple of time. Pulling her hand from me, she steps back.

  The uncertainty in her eyes stops me from dragging her back to me.

  “Oh, shit!” Token looks back from the window, breaking the awkwardness. “Ma’s here.”

  Stone peeks out the window and comes back around with a whistle. “Yep, she’s got a huge bottle of water.”

  “Come on, you’re shittin’ me.” I glance at Stone.

  “Nope.” He grimaces.

  I click the call light, and a female voice responds. “Can I help you?”

  “Yeah, I’m gonna need some clean sheets and a new gown, please.”

  “Okay, I’ll have someone bring them in shortly, Mr. Kane.”

  “Thanks.”

  “You guys are assholes.” Crash walks over and leans into the window. “I don’t see her.” He turns to me. “She’s not going to do it, not here at the hospital.”

  Harley looks at Token. “Do what?”

  He laughs, rubbing his tatted arm. I drop my head back and stare at Jay, who’s waiting for Token’s response, and, of course, he doesn’t disappoint his girl or mine. “Once, when the daredevil here came home all banged up from one of his crazy stunts, he tried to convince Ma that he was okay before he dragged his sorry ass up to bed. You could tell by the way he looked, he was a hurtin’ puppy. So Ma got a huge glass of ice wate
r, marched up to his room, and dumped it on him while he was in the bed, and said, “Prove it.” She made him get up, change the sheets on his bed and his clothes, and when he couldn’t do it because he was in so much pain, she brought him to the hospital.” He nods. “And, sure as shit, he had a broken wrist. From then on, when he was still living at home, Ma continued to use the glass of water test.”

  “Really?” Harley laughs. “How many times?”

  “Hmm.” Token squints at Stone. “At least ten?”

  “At the very least.” Stone grins.

  “I got it!” Nix comes walking into the room adorning the I love Justin Beiber shirt with a big-ass grin on his face while waving his cell in the air. “I got her number!”

  I laugh and look at Jay, our brief eye connection convincing me that, for some reason, she’s not happy.

  Fuck! I’m okay. What more could she want?

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  The noise in the room coming from the loud group of guys begins to sift like fine flour through my deaf ears. The numbness in my arms and legs from when I heard Steele had been in an accident fades, and I’m tingling all over. My chest feels lighter, and my breathing is manageable. I escaped a full-blown panic attack in Harley’s car on the way over to the hospital. I barely know the girl, but we had a good day, and she seems like a nice person. I don’t want her to think I’m a nutjob or, worse, make her think she’d have to check me into the psych ward when we got here. Thankfully, I was able to control myself. I guess seeing a counselor for that year helped after all.

  Once I saw for myself that Steele was all right, my fear and worry advanced to anger along with some major disappointment. I let myself fall for him. That’s why I got so upset, why I couldn’t think until I made it to him, and now that I know he’s in one piece, all body parts intact and moving, it’s time to go home.