Shadows & Surrender: A Snarky Urban Fantasy Detective Series (The Jezebel Files Book 3)

by Deborah Wilde

  “You know this is all hypothetical since there are only like four people who can know we’re together,” I said.

  “I don’t care. I’ll know.”

  His conviction sent champagne bubbles sweeping through me. However, I wanted to hire a plane and skywrite the fact for the world to behold, followed by watching all the haters I’d accrued over my lifetime choke on their disbelief and envy.

  “We’re the only ones that matter,” I agreed.

  The limo idled at Levi’s wrought-iron gate.

  I sighed. “This is your home. We’re going to have to discuss your inability to follow orders.”

  “I took it as more of a suggestion.” Levi folded his trench coat over one arm.

  “Uh-huh.”

  Turning up the driveway, Simon deposited us at the front door. Levi made me wait until he’d unlocked it before having me step out into the rain.

  I got inside and pressed my back against the door, my handbag in a death grip. I looked like a grubby drowned swan and I was Levi Montefiore’s girlfriend. Fine, yes, I used the dumb word. Was there some formal ritual that happy, well-socialized people normally engaged in at this point? I dragged in a nervous breath, and caught wind of the most tantalizing scent.

  “Did you make biscotti?” I dashed past him into the kitchen, a cozy space with red appliances and glass tile that mirrored the sunny blue of his eyes when he was amused. Round spice tins were stuck to a long magnetic board and braids of garlic were pinned to the window frame.

  Three trays of chocolate cookies sat cooling on the quartz counter top of the center island. Did his anxiety levels come in flavors? If so, was chocolate a mild twinge of concern or the dark recesses of icy panic?

  My smile broke free, my toes curling under like I was in a dippy romcom, despite the dirt I’d tracked in on his floor.

  “Why is my baking funny?” He stood stiffly in the doorway.

  “You only bake when you’re stressed.” I poked him in the chest. “You were actively scared I’d changed my mind.”

  He opened his mouth like he was going to argue the point then a crafty look stole over his face. “The not knowing was the worst. You should probably make it up to me.”

  I worried at my tattered ruffles.

  Levi lifted my chin with a finger. “I was kidding. We don’t have to do anything tonight. You can just shower and relax.”

  “What if we’re not compatible… that way?”

  “Sex?” His eyebrows shot into his hairline. “Did I imagine all the other mindblowing times?”

  “Well, no, and obviously, I’m exceptional, but there was no pressure before. We’re a thing now. We’re exclusive.”

  “Oh shit, we are?” He jogged to the door. “Jeeves, release the harem.”

  I grabbed him by the belt and hauled him backward, wrapping my arms around his waist and burying my face against his spine.

  “Bella.” He placed his hands over mine and squeezed. “It’ll be amazing because it’s us.”

  I nuzzled my face closer to him. “You’re very good at this.”

  His laughter rumbled against my cheek. “Baby, I’m the best.”

  I snorted, and laughing, he turned in my hold. Going up on tiptoe, I pressed a butterfly kiss to his lips. My pulse seemed to be everywhere at once: the tips of my fingers, behind my knees, and in my stomach.

  Sunlight spilled into the room, painting us in golds and yellows. Wrapped up in Levi, something restless in me settled, home at last. I never wanted it to end.

  I pressed my hand to his jaw and closed my eyes for a breath, savoring him nuzzling my palm.

  “Give me five minutes to wash off this grime,” I said.

  “Then what?”

  I grinned and skipped off to his en suite bathroom.

  The large glass shower with a rainforest spout and pebbled tiled floor was fit for a queen. It would do. I cranked the jets to hot, but before I could try and extricate myself from this dress, Levi was there, unzipping me.

  “I told you earlier, I was the one getting this off you.”

  “I’ll allow it as an example of my graciousness.” The fabric didn’t pool silkily to the ground. It plopped off, still half-formed.

  “It looks like it’s going to walk off.” Levi helped me step out of it.

  “We should be so lucky.” I stepped into the shower and crooked a finger at him.

  Levi stripped naked and stepped inside, swinging the door closed in record time. “So. Here we are.” Water streamed over his sculpted body, steam swirling around us, cutting us off from the world. His eyes took on a hooded, lazy look and he reached up, brushing the backs of his fingers against my cheek.

  I unconsciously licked my lips and Levi moved in. The kiss whispered to the parts of me that I’d kept hidden. Dr. Zhang had reinforced my femur with metal rods after my car crash, but I’d been the one to fortify my heart in the aftermath. Except this was Levi and he saw me—all of me. I melted against him, wet and pliant in his arms. My racing heartbeat slowed to meet his steady one, anchoring me.

  He picked up a lemongrass-scented bar of soap and lathered me up. I closed my eyes, my hands splayed on his chest, enjoying the play of hard muscle as he soaped my body up in long smooth strokes and the wondrous experience of being cared for and cherished. Of knowing that I wasn’t alone.

  My stress swirled down the drain along with the dirt and all my doubts. The warmth of water on my back barely registered against the scalding heat from each pass of his fingertips.

  There was a squirting noise and I giggled.

  “Down, smutty. It’s shampoo.” He massaged it into my scalp then tilted my head back to rinse it off with care. “There. You’re all clean.”

  I wrinkled my nose. “Not that clean.” Sliding a hand to wrap around his dick, I stroked him experimentally, marveling at how something so hard could still feel so silky.

  “This can be about you,” he said in a tight voice. His muscles were tense from strain, but his eyes were filled with sincerity.

  “No, baby, this is about both of us.”

  The smile he unfurled was almost blinding in its joy.

  I raked my gaze over every impressive inch of him before biting his left nipple, the light sprinkle of damp hair on his chest scratching my chin. Beneath my lips, his heartbeat spiked.

  Hot water continued to sluice over me, falling in rivulets off my curves. I closed my eyes, letting my mouth and hands guide me.

  Raking my nails along his abs, I sank to my knees, one hand snaking around his calf, the other stroking his cock. My belly clenched at the slow thrust of his hips and I swirled my tongue around the head of his dick. Marking him. Drowning in him.

  Levi growled, his hand tightening in my hair.

  I shot him a wide, filthy smile, batted my lashes, and deep throated him, my cheeks hollowing out.

  Levi bucked off the wall, muttering a low stream of Italian. He braced a hand against the sandstone tile, jerking into even harder lengths in my mouth. Both God and my name were invoked.

  I throbbed for him, a fine edge of pain adding a darkness and a wildness to my desire.

  Suddenly he tugged me up and hopped out of the shower.

  “Problem?” My ragged breathing almost drowned out the sound of rushing water hitting the pebbled tiles.

  “Yes.” Levi slipped on a condom and jumped back under the spray. He swung me around so my back slapped against the glass, wrapped my legs around his waist, and thrust inside me. “Luckily, I’m a genius at problem-solving.” His lips claimed mine as he rocked against me, raking his nails along my side.

  I gasped against his mouth.

  Heat pulsed off our skin, the air practically shimmering with our electric connection. Our gazes snagged in a shared moment of tenderness, before he seized my mouth in a deep, sensual kiss. His hands roamed my body and the hard glide of his skin against mine wound me higher and hotter.

  The room was drenched in the musky scent of our sex, overpowering the smell of the
shampoo and the traces of dirt around the drain, the headiness of the two of us, now so much more together than we’d ever been apart, overwhelming me.

  I came so hard, white spots danced in front of my eyes, Levi following with a shudder.

  We both blushed as our eyes met, the water still streaming over us.

  Levi reached over and twisted off the tap but we didn’t move.

  I was glad of the time to let my racing heart slow. I inhaled deeply, letting my lungs fill with moist air before slowly exhaling, and sliding my feet to the ground with a small wobble.

  Levi brushed a wet strand of hair off my cheek, making me very aware that I was standing naked in a shower with him and everything had changed.

  Droplets plopped off my breasts into tiny splashes at my feet. I cleared my throat. “Towel?”

  He looked at me a long moment before turning away to open the door and deposit the condom in the trash. I shivered as the cold air hit me, but it was only for a second because Levi soon had me bundled in a thick cocoon of terrycloth. As I toweled off, I snuck a few looks at Levi drying himself, rivulets of water trickling over his muscles.

  Once he was dry, he padded into the bedroom and crawled between the covers, with a look in my direction like he didn’t believe I’d stay.

  Ye of little faith. I curled into his side, pulling the blankets snug up to my neck.

  Levi glanced off to the side and quietly laughed.

  I poked him. “What’s funny?”

  “I’m happy,” he said simply.

  “Me too. But we have to…” I shook away the rest of the sentence, wanting this bubble of us to last.

  Levi rolled over to face me and laced his fingers through mine, looking utterly spent. “Just a nap. Keep the world out a little longer,” he murmured drowsily.

  “I’d like that.” I watched him fall asleep, smoothing down a cowlick. His dark lashes lay against cheeks still flushed from the heat of the shower and I smiled at the soft snort he let out, pressing my hand against his shoulder until he shifted against me and settled back into a deep slumber.

  A ray of sunshine swept in from the window and bathed the room in a dream-like glow as Levi’s soft breaths evened out. Careful not to wake him, I pressed a kiss to his knuckles. And there it was: I was happy.

  This kind of joy, pure and unfettered, had always seemed so unreachable, like it only happened to those with incredibly good luck who sought it out and worked hard for it. And granted, I wasn’t the kind of person who let many others past my guard. But this was worth it, worth all the scariness and fear of judgment, this beautiful surprise that didn’t require me to do anything other than to enjoy it. I closed my eyes, knowing that no dream would be as good as this new reality.

  Chapter 21

  I woke up before Levi did, the two of us entwined like puzzle pieces. He’d thrown a leg over me, one palm resting on my thigh over my scar. I’d always been a light sleeper with other people, waking up at the slightest movement, forgoing cuddling. Immediately, my thigh tensed under his touch and I placed my hand over his to move it. Nowhere to run to. Nowhere to hide.

  Except I was okay with that. I didn’t want to run or hide. I just wanted to be seen for who I was.

  I left his hand on my leg and relaxed back against him.

  Tucked under his glasses on the bedside table was a copy of The Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes, a collection of short stories, including The Final Problem where Holmes went over the Reichenbach Falls. I ran a finger along the spine, imagining lying next to him, reading to unwind after a hard day.

  I basked in the realness of this moment. This wasn’t going to vanish. It just felt stable. Constant. A goodness without doubt to it.

  Levi scrunched up his face as his eyes fluttered open and gave me a sleepy smile. “You’re still here.”

  “Yeah. I need to borrow some clothes.”

  “Ah.”

  I cuddled closer to him. “Plus, I wanted to be.”

  He kissed me. “Better.”

  His phone buzzed with a text as mine rang from somewhere out in the living room. Naked, I ran for it, catching the caller just before it went to voicemail.

  “Good morning, Attendant,” I said sunnily. “Did you get any rest?”

  “Where are you?” Rafael said.

  “At Levi’s. Why?”

  He made a despairing noise. “I should have known. When I agreed to this team of yours, I assumed it was implicitly understood that all personal dealings came a very distant second to your Jezebel responsibilities.”

  “How exactly have I been remiss?” I went into the kitchen.

  “I’ve been sitting here at your office for an hour. Luckily Bryan was here or I’d have been waiting in the street.”

  “We never set a time to meet. Normal people would do that first before showing up.” I rooted around in the cupboards until I found an espresso cup and stuck it under the spout of the De’Longhi espresso maker on the counter. I hit the button for the beans to grind.

  “It’s 11AM,” Rafael said. “Normal people have been at work for hours, not playing hooky.”

  “It’s Sunday,” I said.

  The espresso maker clicked twice and a thin stream of aromatic coffee ran into the cup.

  “Evil doesn’t sleep,” he said. “This was never an issue with Gavriella. If you aren’t going to take this seriously because of your personal life, then perhaps we need to revisit the entire team idea, given that you’re allowing your relationships with these people to impinge on our work.”

  I smacked my hand on the counter. “My family was destroyed because of Chariot and these scrolls and being a Jezebel. So yes, Rafael, I take this all very seriously. However, I was a mite tired from saving a man’s life, killing a Repha’im, and generally not getting beheaded in Hedon, and I took a fucking nap.”

  Levi, now dressed in jeans, handed me a pair of sweats. Cashmere ones, because of course cotton was too peasant to clothe him during leisure time.

  “I’ll be there in half an hour.” I hung up first and threw my phone on the counter. “That little—” I yanked on the pants.

  “Wanker?” Levi said, dryly. “He’s not worth popping a blood vessel.”

  I exhaled, tugging the sweatshirt over my head and replaying my conversation with Rafael. Actually hearing it instead of just reacting to it. Rafael had asserted an ownership over my Jezebel position and our mission from day one. Unsurprising, given he was next in a long line of men who’d been mentors, healers, and allies to the women their life’s work revolved around. If Rafael was no longer the person his Jezebel needed most, no longer critical to a cause that he’d devoted his life to, but just some bookish dude who dug up information in his secret library while others were out in the field, then why did he matter?

  “He’s jealous,” I said.

  Levi paused, coffee pot in hand. “Of us?”

  “Yeah, but not like that.” I had to roll all the cuffs up to fit my limbs. “I didn’t know I was a Jezebel, but Rafael was born and raised to take on his position. It defined him. Now I’ve reduced him from half of a duo to simply part of a team that I put in place. He feels threatened.” The side effects of helping me overcome the cravings and Rafael’s subsequent view of himself must have made everything worse. “I need to talk to him.”

  “Here. It’s medicinal.” Levi handed me a biscotti.

  Shooting back the espresso, black and bitter, I bit into the cookie. A dense, rich chocolate zinged my taste buds. “Where have you been hiding these?”

  “These are not biscotti for all and sundry,” he said.

  “I support you in that. Give them all to me. And to Priya, because if she finds out you’re holding out on her, she’ll tie you up in Password Hell. Also, you understand that your sweats cost more than my best work outfit, right? Do you put them on after your milk bath, Your Lordship?”

  “We’re in a relationship. You can’t bust my balls anymore.”

  I laughed and patted his cheek. “You’re adora
ble.”

  Levi shook his head in resignation. “Miles texted. Mayan gave him Jonah’s address. It turns out it was a fake. He’d rented it from a couple while they were on vacation and there’s only one Jonah Samuels registered with any House in North America. Eighty-three years old with invisibility magic.”

  “Fake address, fake name.” I ate another biscotti. “I’m not sufficiently caffeinated for this.”

  “Come back after you meet with Rafael. Miles wants to debrief.”

  “Later. I’ve got an idea worth following up about Jonah.”

  “Okay. I’ve arranged for the limo to drive you.”

  “Words never uttered by ninety-five percent of the world’s population. Well, relationships are all about compromise.” I snagged three more biscotti for the road. “If I kill Rafael, will you help me bury the body?”

  Levi stole a biscotti back with a shrug. “Why not? I’ve got nothing better to do today.”

  I pressed a sweet quick kiss to his mouth. “This arrangement is going to work out fine.”

  Simon dropped me off at my apartment to pick up Mrs. Hudson and so I could change. Levi had graciously agreed to burn the dress, and I wasn’t giving Rafael more ammunition by showing up in Levi’s clothes. A padded envelope had arrived for me from the man at the fair company, sealed with a blood ward, ensuring that the envelope had not been tampered with.

  I gently probed it with one finger to determine the contents. I couldn’t tell if the napkin was inside, but the lipstick tube was there. If I intended to take it to the lab, it would have to wait until Monday morning. I slid the envelope into my purse, unopened.

  Fortified in all-black and with a wriggling puppy accompanying me, I drove over in Moriarty to my office to confront Rafael.

  I’d purchased him a delicate jasmine brew from the fancy tea house on the corner as an olive branch. The helpful tea server said that jasmine promoted peace. Healing. A deep and quiet inner joy. Everything that Rafael needed more of, I figured. I’d almost gotten an entire pound bag of the tea leaves for him, but from Rafael’s grimace when I handed him the offering, you’d have thought I’d brought him a head on a platter.