Winter in Wonderland

by Kari Trumbo

  He laughed. “That’s the closest to agreement I’ve gotten from you. I’ll take it. See you tomorrow morning.”

  She set the phone on the counter and glanced up at the wall above the sink. She’d been peeling away paper every night, and behind it wasn’t just a pretty blue, but white triangles of various sizes farther down. The mystery was intriguing, though not as much as the new Sam. Just like the wall, so much of him seemed different and confusing.

  Removing paper was easy – it just needed time and patience – but what did Sam need, if anything? Maybe he didn’t want her revealing his layers. He’d always seemed a pretty simple guy to her, but there was much more depth there than she’d realized. He’d given up a free ride to college. He’d said no to Chelsey. He’d supported Ashley’s every goal and had never distracted her with his. What if she’d been stifling him … and he hadn’t realized it until the rumor?

  Maybe he’d believed it because his heart was already hurt. She’d never encouraged him to be anything but who he’d always been. She’d always been content to tie him into her plans. But if there was more to him, a side of him that had just needed encouragement to come out.

  Which gave Ashley another thought: maybe he’d never pursued her before because he hadn’t needed to. What if that’s what he was doing now? And if so, what should she do about it?

  Sam tossed his phone on the couch cushion next to him and chuckled. Getting Ashley to spend time with him away from working hadn’t been easy, but she was slowly accepting him, getting closer. He could feel her resistance falling away as they became friends again. But would they ever be more? He’d wanted to turn back the clock almost from the moment he’d called off the engagement.

  He turned over the hem of his coat where it lay on the arm of the sofa until he found the pocket, then drew out a long chain, a tiny ring swinging from the end. Ashley’s class ring. They’d exchanged them at graduation because they wanted to save their money for a house to turn into a B&B together instead of engagement rings. Rings were impractical anyway, especially when doing anything electrical. He’d carried hers on a chain hidden under his clothes for two whole years, until he’d heard the rumor. If she still had his ring, he had no idea.

  Now, Ashley didn’t need him anymore, and maybe never did. He’d been a silent support before, but she’d renovated whole houses. She didn’t need him to be her Mr. Fix-It. She could run a B&B herself and didn’t even need the property they were working on – she owned Grammy Jean’s, which was far better.

  So did he fit into her life at all? What did he have to offer?

  He stood and ambled to the one large window in his apartment and flipped up a slat of the blinds to peek outside. Snow covered all the houses and the streets were silent. Wonderland usually tucked itself into bed by nine, so very few lights twinkled into the night.

  That’s what Ashley needed – peace. Fun. Remembering what was good from her childhood, instead of blocking it because of him. She needed someone to make plans for her once in a while so she didn’t have to do everything. Even good managers got tired without support. He could protect her from people like Chelsey, who didn’t want Ashley to succeed. Those were things no one else would do for her, but he was willing. Had always been willing.

  He unclasped the chain and put it around his neck, the heavy gold ring thumping against his chest. He dropped it into the collar of his shirt. The weight would be a reminder that he needed to stop just floating along and start making decisions, plans.

  One he already had in mind. After Christmas, he’d call Diesel and ask about his retirement plans. By then, he’d know Ashley’s intention. Even if she left, he’d still keep in contact. Now that the connection had been restored, he wouldn’t let her go again without telling her the truth. He regretted what had happened, but he was a better man for it now.

  Though he knew he still had to prove it.

  Chapter Nine

  The next morning, instead of stopping at the gas station for coffee as he normally would, Sam went to Wonderland’s one coffee shop, imaginatively named Wonderland Coffee. The small building had been a home at one point and had a strange layout, with the old house in the middle and rooms tacked on as needed wherever they would fit. It made for lots of little nooks were people could sit and privately enjoy a cup of joe with friends.

  Usually. Today it was December 16, the first day they offered their special, limited edition Christmas flavor. This year it was gingerbread mint chocolate, and selling like gangbusters. He’d never gotten into the hype of waiting in line for the special flavor – he preferred his coffee black - but since he’d beaten the rush, this was perfect for Ashley. “Two mega, please.” He pulled out his wallet.

  The teen behind the counter in her red-and-white-striped apron smiled at him. “Whipped or no?”

  Flavored was enough of a stretch. “Whipped on one.”

  She chuckled as she manned a machine that looked like it belonged on the International Space Station. He dropped a couple of dollars in the tip jar and waited.

  A few other people wandered in, including Terrie Miles, Chelsey’s mother. She wore a bright red coat with black leather gloves, neither made for warmth. But then, she probably wasn’t out in the cold that often. “Good morning, Sam. You’re certainly out early.” She eyed him and the barista.

  “I have some work to do today.” He wouldn’t feed Chelsey’s mother any information about Ashley, or ideally, anything. That was only asking for trouble. At least they were finally finishing the reno house so the city council would have no reason to levy any fines. But Chelsey was the way she was for a reason, and the reason was mainly Terrie.

  “What could the lumberyard possibly have you doing the week before Christmas? Though I suppose with the fresh snow, you’re busy. How’s your father, by the way? Was he ever able to get help with his roof?” She blinked rapidly, looking for gossip more than she cared about how his father was doing.

  The roofing issue in question had been five years before. He doubted she’d ever deign to speak to Blake Patterson herself. “It’s taken care of.” He stuffed his hands in his pockets.

  The barista called his order and Terrie laughed, a stuffy, fake sound. “Two coffees? My, that must be a big job. Chelsey will be around tomorrow handing out music and the practice schedule for caroling. Don’t be a stranger!” She turned to the barista and gave her order.

  Sam headed out the door with a smile. Chelsey wouldn’t think to look for him at the reno, especially if he walked there instead of driving. They hadn’t done much the last few Sundays, but tomorrow would be the last one until Christmas Eve, so they’d decided to put in a few hours of prep work in order to get a lot done on Monday. If he didn’t drive, no one would find him.

  The drive to Ashley’s was short, and he parked quickly and rushed up the walk. He hadn’t done much in the way of decorating the last few years either. Doing something fun with Ashley was welcome. Not to mention it would mean she couldn’t leave the day after Christmas without asking him to come help her pack up the tree and all the trimmings. Having a plan wasn’t so bad.

  He knocked and she came to the door quickly. Ashley usually had her hair in a long ponytail, but today it was free and flowing down her back. She wore a white sweater and leggings instead of work jeans and flannel. “What, do I look so strange?” She smiled, her cheeks turning pink.

  He tried to recover quickly. “No, you look great. Here.” He handed her the cup with the whipped cream so he could wipe his feet.

  “Do you want yours left like that or poured into a Thermos? I’m never able to drink it fast enough and the last half is always cold.” She seemed just as nervous as he suddenly felt.

  He’d never thought to transfer the coffee into another cup. “Sure, if you have an extra one. That would be great.” He handed her his drink, shrugged out of his coat and hung it by the door. He hadn’t felt the necklace all morning, but it briefly snagged the tag of his shirt, reminding him it was there. He wiped his boots and
followed Ashley’s path to the kitchen.

  “Whoa.” He took a deep breath. The top third of the kitchen was stripped down to the plaster. A mural had been painted sometime in the past, light blue skies and green trees with white tops. “That’s amazing – I never knew that was there. I wonder how many other old homes in the area have something like that?” He took the Thermos she offered him and sipped.

  She laughed and leaned against the counter. “I don’t know. I noticed a loose bit of wallpaper that bothered me, and it led me to this. Kind of a great discovery.”

  He could smell bacon, though there was nothing on the stove. “You making breakfast?”

  She nodded. “I baked some bacon earlier, then mixed it into a casserole with tater tots, eggs and cheese. It’s easier to eat quickly.”

  It smelled amazing. “Well, let’s make a plan while we wait.” He knew where Grammy Jean had kept her scratch paper and pencils and gathered a few.

  Ashley sipped her coffee, but didn’t come to the table. “It amazes me that you know your way around this house so well.”

  He choked a little. “Grammy Jean relied on me a lot the last few years of her life. Her own kids don’t live here anymore, as you know. She’d always treated me like a son, so it wasn’t a stretch. She called me and I was glad to help.”

  “She called you before she called me? And I was her own grandchild.” Ashley had a strange grit in her voice.

  “She knew you weren’t ready to come back. It wasn’t like she had a long illness where she knew she might go soon. You can’t really prepare for a heart attack. She would’ve reached out if she’d known her time was short. I’m sure.” He could sense they needed to talk about something else, or she’d get more emotional with him than she was ready for. “So how much do you want to do? Just a tree and some lights, or the whole house?”

  Ashley seemed relieved he’d changed the subject. Sam inwardly smiled. Another step in the right direction.

  Ashley couldn’t get her head around it – Sam had never been so determined. So much for him being a “tagalong,” as Chelsey had called him once.

  Putting up the tree would be fraught with danger. There’d be items in those boxes of ornaments and tinsel that she wasn’t ready to see, like the old hand-blown glass ornaments Grandpa Ed bought for Grammy Jean when they first married – that was a story she’d heard every Christmas growing up. There’d be ornaments her mother had made, even ones she had. Just thinking about them had tears welling up.

  She turned so Sam wouldn’t see. “Maybe just some outside lights today. I’m tired. We worked hard all week.” They had, but she’d also wanted to work today to get things done. As long as he didn’t remember that …

  “I know where the lights are in the basement, and the ladder’s out in my truck. Do you want them around the windows for the gingerbread house look?” He laughed.

  With the orange color, it already did, even without lights. “Sure, that sounds great. Do you need my help? Not really room for two on a ladder.”

  His laughter stopped. “You have a point. I’ll do the lights later when you’re really worn out. Let’s decorate the inside first, where we can help each other. Where should the tree go?”

  Drat, he wasn’t taking the hint. “I don’t heat the whole main floor – that would be a waste. The only three rooms I use are the kitchen, a bedroom upstairs and the bath connected to it.” She was not putting a tree, especially not a tree filled with so many memories, in her room.

  “What about there?” He pointed to the empty corner where Bark’s kennel used to be.

  It was a lonely little space and Ashley hadn’t been sure what to put there that wouldn’t seem strange. It was too far out of the way for anything she needed often. “You’re sure you want to do this? Because I don’t want to.” She leaned against the counter again and tried to mentally control the unease in her belly. She hated crying, especially in front of people. She’d already shown Sam her tears and didn’t need a repeat performance.

  Suddenly he was in her space, smelling of coffee and Old Spice aftershave. He gently gripped her elbows until she looked up at him. “Hey. You can do this. It’ll be good for you to see the things your grandmother loved. She wouldn’t have wanted a year to go by in this house without a Christmas celebration. It’s bad enough you’re planning to leave right after her favorite holiday. Take a minute to enjoy it.”

  Reason abandoned her. With him so close, so tall, strong, sure, she remembered everything she loved about him. She remembered what it was like to be held by him, what his first tentative kiss had been like. What it meant for two best friends to slowly become more. Now she wanted that feeling back. She glanced up into his eyes …

  … and the moment slipped away as he backed away and held up his list. “So we start with the tree. We don’t have to put the garland or the bunting on the stairs. If you don’t use that area, it would just waste time.”

  She nodded, still thinking about all those swirling feelings. She’d been so ready to give in to what she’d promised she wouldn’t. Yet two weeks of working with him had turned him into to her Sam again. “Wait,” she said without thinking.

  He seemed to sense she needed something and was back to her in a moment. “You okay?”

  “No. I’m not strong enough to do this.” Confession was good for the soul, but it ripped her to pieces. A tear trickled down her cheek.

  He pulled her close, wrapping her in the strength she craved. Lord, what’s wrong with me? Is my memory so short? This was the man who broke her heart into a million pieces. How could she be allowing him to do it again?

  His hold loosened as he stepped back and tipped her face up. “You can do this. You’ve never met a mountain you couldn’t master.”

  She blinked the tears away. “What are your mountains, Sam? You gave up all of yours for me. Did you ever find them again?”

  He smiled. “Mine are yet to be discovered, but I’m sure I’ll manage when I see them.”

  So there was still a bit of the old Sam there, the Sam that took things as they came. “Thanks. I may need to take this slow.”

  Sam smiled. “We’ve got all day, and I’m not afraid to use it.”

  Ashley smiled back, even as part of her hated herself for it.

  Chapter Ten

  The big boxes Sam brought up from the basement were enough to have Ashley biting her lip. Thick dust lay on their tops, and she was reminded that it had been almost two years since they’d been opened – Grammy had died November of last year.

  Sam brushed off his hands and blew dust off the top of one. “I have an idea to give you a little break and do something both of us would enjoy.”

  She liked the sound of that – anything to avoid the impending emotional puddle of dealing with what was in those boxes. “I’m listening.”

  “Thomsen’s Tree Farm.” He smiled. “Jean’s artificial tree is downstairs, but it’s pretty old – I would need to repair a bunch of the branches. I’d forgotten until I looked at the box.”

  Ashley grabbed her coat from the rack next to the back door. “Did you bring a saw? Or should I get mine?”

  He laughed and went through the living room to get his own coat. “Hey, when we get back, I’ll quickly shovel around to the back door for you. That way you won’t have to listen for people at the front, since it’s cold up there.”

  Shoveling was one of her least favorite chores – she’d rather putty drywall for a week. She’d already tromped through the snow to the back door so she didn’t have to shovel the front. “Only if you want to. No one’s coming to my door except you.”

  “No problem. I don’t have my saw – we’ll have to grab yours.”

  Her father most likely left any tools like that in the small garden shed in the back. “I’ll meet you at the truck.” She grabbed her flashlight and headed out the back door.

  There were so many things about Grammy Jean’s home she hadn’t explored yet, and didn’t want to for fear of the memories. She o
pened the shed, looked around and found a nice bow saw hanging on the wall. Perfect for the job. She locked it up again and carefully carried the saw to Sam’s truck. The blade hadn’t been sharpened in a while, but she was sure it would cut a small evergreen.

  Sam’s truck was running and waiting for her as she put the saw in the back, then climbed in. “They’ve been planting more trees in the last ten years, so they have more to pick from now than when we were kids,” he told her.

  Her parents had only gotten a real tree once, but she’d loved walking through the rows of pines and firs, looking for the perfect one. Many people bought ones Thomsen’s had already cut down, but choosing the right tree would hopefully allow her to separate herself from her grandmother’s Christmas traditions just enough to keep her emotions under control.

  The drive wasn’t long, and soon the air was thick with the smell of pine as Sam opened his door, letting in a cold, scented breeze. She shivered and tugged her gloves back on. Sam had already grabbed the saw by the time she got out and he put his hand on the small of her back to guide her toward the little shed where Mr. Thomsen took payments. He waved to Mr. Thomsen, an older man wearing a huge canvas ranch coat with a red-and-black-checked muffler pulled over his ears. “Good morning! We’re going to head up to the farm if it’s open.”

  Mr. Thomsen waved them in without leaving the shed.

  “He hasn’t aged a bit.” Ashley said as they walked down the first row of Douglas firs.

  “Well, he’s been about a hundred years old forever.” Sam laughed.

  Nothing in the first row seemed quite right, and Sam led her down the next. Douglas firs smelled lovely, but looked too scruffy. The blue spruce were all too tall or too wide. The balsams’ needles were too short. She’d assumed she’d have to make excuses in order to take a long time, but it wasn’t an easy choice. Finally, in the next to the last row, they found the Ponderosa pines, with nice, long needles just like Grammy’s old artificial tree. The branches were elegant and round, perfect to hold all the decorations.