Lil's Bus Trip

by Judy Leigh

  Duncan spoke up again. ‘I want to sample as much beer as possible.’ He winked at Tommy. ‘It’s purely business though. I want to find some fresh suppliers, improve my stock, keep up my link with the European brewers.’ He noticed the wide smile on Tommy’s face, which had quickly replicated itself on those of the youngsters, Pat, Jake and DJ, so he added quickly, ‘My dad’s coming, of course – he needs a break too and I can’t leave him with Kerry. She has enough on her plate running this place. Obviously, Dad’s not particularly sociable, as you all know – he prefers his own company. He’s eighty-one now, but I’m hoping the fresh air will be good for him.’

  Albert appeared to be asleep, then he opened one eye and closed it again. He huddled inside his large overcoat and began to snore lightly.

  ‘My mother and her friend are a similar age – well, I think Maggie’s almost eighty.’ Cassie folded her hands together. ‘As long as we can keep them comfortable in the minibus, lots of loo stops and rest time…’

  ‘Oh, my minibus is top notch,’ Tommy spluttered. ‘And I’ll put extra cushions in for the golden oldies…’ He stopped himself, offering an apologetic shrug.

  ‘Well, I’m not sure we should be taking pensioners.’ Denise Grierson huffed dismissively. ‘I’m only in my fifties and I wouldn’t want to be responsible for someone with health or mobility issues. Perhaps there should be an age limit, say, sixty years old, just for safety.’ She gazed hopefully at Ken, then at Sue. ‘It makes sense. What do you think, Syoo?’

  Sue crossed her legs the other way. ‘As long as everyone is in reasonable health and has holiday insurance, Denise, I don’t think it matters.’

  ‘It matters that we don’t exclude people for no good reason, though.’ Cassie sat up straight. She took a breath, making herself speak calmly despite the rising frustration. Injustice always made her cross and she knew she had a tendency to speak her mind without hesitation. ‘My mum is very fit for her age. But if you believe that Lil and Maggie and I – because I’m sixty-five – will be a liability, just say so now and we won’t come.’ Cassie glanced at Tommy. ‘You’re organising it, Tommy. What do you say? I’m happy to take my mum and her pensioner friend to a nice comfortable hotel in Paris for a long weekend where there will be plenty of culture and cordon bleu cooking and excellent places to visit. I can get them luxury hotels and health insurance and no one else will run the risk of them expiring suddenly in the back seat of the minibus during the journey.’ Cassie paused; she had already said too much.

  Silence fell over the table for a few moments. Denise gazed at her expensively sandalled feet. Sue coughed; Emily pressed a hand over her mouth to cover a grin, DJ ruffled his locks and Ken fingered his cravat. Then Tommy slid his pen back behind his ear. ‘I think your mum and Dunc’s dad and the other lady will be fine, Cass…’

  Denise spoke up again. ‘And can I be assured that the best accommodation is booked, with comfortable rooms and good breakfast and single en suites for those who are by themselves? I mean – I don’t want to find myself sharing with someone I don’t know…’ Her eyes moved suspiciously to Cassie and away again.

  ‘Well, we’ll sort out rooms each time we visit a hotel. My wife, Angie, booked all the accommodation online, and she’s a secretary at the school,’ Tommy protested. ‘Some of them are small hotels and won’t always have single rooms.’

  ‘We’ll be fine.’ Ken’s voice was reassuring. ‘Besides, if we get into difficulty, my French is a little rusty but I used to be quite fluent…’

  Cassie pressed her lips together. ‘When do we go, Tommy?’

  ‘Two weeks’ time, the 9th of August.’

  ‘Going clubbing in Amsterdam will be brilliant,’ Jake enthused. ‘Lots of girls to impress.’

  ‘It’ll be a great laugh,’ DJ agreed.

  ‘And we’ll drink lots of interesting beer and play football,’ Pat said hopefully.

  ‘I’m looking forward to scoring a few goals against the Belgians,’ Emily announced. ‘And I’ve always wanted to go to Amsterdam.’

  ‘I can hardly wait,’ Cassie said. In truth, she was trying to imagine what sort of venture this holiday would be, with the young five-a-side team, the middle-aged tennis club members, Duncan, his dad, her mother, Maggie and herself. She couldn’t imagine. But, Cassie thought, ever the optimist, there would be interesting scenery, sightseeing, good food and the chance for Lil to enjoy herself. More to the point, she might even find some time for herself and the inspiration to write a few good poems.

  ‘It’s no good, Lil. I’m not going.’

  ‘Of course, you are – we’ll have a whale of a time, you and me.’ Lil stared at Maggie, who was open-mouthed as they sat opposite each other in the café. Keith, his hair slicked back, tall and morose in his chef’s uniform and a little white cap, placed a plate of toast and two cups of tea on the table in between them. Lil turned to him. ‘Where’s the butter?’

  ‘On the toast,’ Keith quipped, the empty tray in his tattooed hand.

  ‘That tiny smudge?’ Lil was flabbergasted.

  ‘You know you love me, Lil.’

  ‘Always, darling. But can’t I have a bit more butter? Please, Keith? I’ve always had a taste for those bad-for-you things that have loads of cholesterol in them…’ Lil watched him slope away and winked. ‘Don’t say you’re not coming, Maggie.’

  ‘I can’t come.’ She stuck out her bottom lip. ‘I can’t leave Brian.’

  ‘What do you mean, you can’t leave Brian? You can. You simply pack a case and we go.’

  ‘But he needs me.’

  ‘What for? To give you secondary smoke? To make your hair and clothes smell of cigarettes? So you can turn up the remote for him while he’s busy leering at Charlie’s Angels? You need a break, time for yourself, a good pampering.’

  ‘You might be right.’ Maggie shook her head. ‘But I’ve never been to Northern Europe.’

  ‘Well, now’s your chance.’

  ‘What about Brian?’ Maggie sighed. ‘What about his other needs?’

  Lil’s eyes widened. ‘Do you mean bedroom action?’

  ‘I mean company – he needs another person in the house.’

  ‘Maggie, just for once, think of yourself. Put yourself first. If you do that, Brian might do it too.’

  ‘I’m not used to being selfish.’

  ‘Then get used to it – think of all the fun we can have: the food, the drink, the sights, a boat trip on the canal.’

  Maggie sulked. ‘He won’t let me go if I ask. I bet he’ll say no.’

  ‘You don’t need to ask him.’ Lil hooted so loud that Keith came out from the kitchen. Lil blew him a kiss and lowered her voice. ‘Don’t worry about Brian. Don’t even tell him. Just go. He probably won’t even notice.’

  Maggie’s lower lip was trembling. ‘But…’

  ‘But nothing. He takes advantage of your kind nature. He can get his food here in the café. You deserve a break.’

  ‘Do you think I could go, really?’ Maggie was weakening.

  ‘Of course. The deposit’s paid. We can ask Jenny if her husband Tim will take us into town to buy some new clothes. Or we’ll go shopping online. Either way, we can afford it. I have enough in my bank account for a few years yet – as long as I don’t live to be a hundred and four…’ Lil winked. ‘Besides, I want a holiday and you need one and my Cassie deserves one, so that’s it, decided. We’ll have a great time, you and me. Europe here we come.’

  Maggie nodded, still anxious. ‘Brian won’t be happy.’

  ‘Good. He needs a wake-up call. He’ll miss you like mad and recognise you for the lovely woman you are.’ Lil moved closer to her friend. ‘This is the plan. We’ll sneak out without telling him. We’ll pack the night before; you can leave your case in my flat and you can just tell him you’re going to the toilet, then we’ll get on the minibus and go. No “goodbye, Brian”, no “I’ll miss you, my darling”. Just close the door, forget him for a few days and we’ll have the time of our l
ives. What do you say?’

  ‘We won’t even tell him we’re going?’

  ‘Precisely.’

  ‘We’ll just go? Say nothing at all?’

  ‘Exactly.’

  ‘But what happens when he notices I’m not there?’ Maggie gasped.

  ‘Maggie.’ Lil took a deep breath. ‘I’ve lived without a man in my life for longer than I can remember. I’ve got nothing against them. They are lovely beings, men, but sometimes they get it wrong and they let you down. Brian needs to be reminded what a sexy, wonderful, fun wife he has. And he will – once you’re not there. So – what do you say?’

  Maggie thought for a moment and then a grin started to spread across her face. She leaned over and squeezed her friend in a too-tight hug. ‘I say – let’s do it, Lil. I think it’s the best idea you’ve ever had. I can spoil myself, put myself first for once. A minibus holiday in Europe? Bring it on…’

  5

  Cassie watched as Jamie poured wine. The soft red liquid splashed into the bottom of the glasses, making an almost imperceptible glugging sound. She gazed around at the honey-yellow lighting of the taverna, the illuminated serving bar at the far end of the room, the framed posters on the wall of Zeus and Athena, and back to the spanakopita on her plate. She lifted a fork. ‘Well, this is nice, Jamie – what a treat. Thank you.’

  ‘I love coming here. It’s a friendly place and I can practise my Greek with the waiter. And it reminds me of my parents and the times they took me to see my yia-yia when I was a child, my grandmother. She spoiled me rotten every time we went to Cephalonia.’

  Cassie chewed thoughtfully. ‘All that Greek food must have been delicious. It was a great idea to have dinner here.’

  ‘My pleasure.’ Jamie beamed. ‘It’s a special occasion.’

  ‘Because I am going away tomorrow?’

  ‘Oh, no – I just want you to enjoy yourself as much as you can…’ Jamie gazed at Cassie, taking in the halo of snow-white hair, the red bow she had tied around it, the long triangular earrings, the emerald silk dress. He thought she was lovely.

  ‘Are you sure you don’t want to come with us?’ Cassie met his eyes. ‘It won’t be the same without you. I could ask Tommy to squeeze one more seat in – that’s just a bit less space for luggage and beer…’

  He shook his head. ‘No, you go and have fun with your mother. Have some bonding time, the two of you. Do some writing…’

  ‘Will you be all right by yourself?’

  ‘I’ll be perfectly fine – you know I will.’ Jamie smiled broadly, hiding the thought that the house would be quiet without her.

  Cassie patted his hand. ‘So – this meal tonight? Is it a bon voyage, Cassie, have a lovely time or a sort of Last Supper because I’m going away with Lil and it could be an absolute nightmare? Do you feel sorry for me?’

  ‘Not at all.’ Jamie lifted his fork, meeting her gaze. ‘This is a special occasion. It’s two years today.’

  Cassie frowned. ‘Two years since what?’

  ‘Since you took me in as your house guest.’

  ‘What else could I do? You had nowhere to go.’ Cassie shrugged. ‘When you rang me and said Anna wanted you to leave, I had to offer. I mean, I have a three-bedroomed house and there was only me in it.’

  Jamie smiled. ‘You’ve been great though, Cass. I don’t pay rent. I don’t help much around the house…’

  ‘I don’t need rent. You’re a great cook. I eat the best food Greece has to offer. And you listen to my poems and songs and tell me the truth about them. Nobody else would put up with me.’

  ‘I love living with you…’ Jamie exhaled slowly. ‘I’ve had some difficult times in my life, Cass. My marriage turned out to be a car crash and I have MS.’ Jamie thought about reaching out, touching Cassie’s hand, then he changed his mind. ‘I just hope you didn’t take me in because you felt sorry for me.’

  ‘You are wonderful, Jamie. You don’t need anyone’s sympathy. I’m always so impressed with how you manage everything. I’ve never done particularly well on the relationship front either. Men find me too single-minded and outspoken.’

  ‘Oh, I think you’re perfect as you are.’ Jamie changed the subject quickly, stretching out his hands. ‘My fingers tingle a bit today.’ He reached for his wine. ‘Thank goodness Mariposa said it’s okay to have a drink every now and then. A man has to indulge once in a while.’

  ‘I love the way you call your doctor Mariposa.’

  ‘I can’t call her Dr Gonzales; we’re far too intimate for that now. She knows everything about me.’

  ‘So, you bought me dinner to celebrate the anniversary of the end of your marriage?’

  ‘No, I’m celebrating living here with you now.’ Jamie’s eyes shone.

  ‘I remember when we first met, I had a performance on TV in the afternoon and you did the sound check. After rehearsals, you bought me lunch in Shepherd’s Bush. We got tipsy on ouzo and staggered back to the studio…’ Cassie smiled.

  ‘Then you performed so powerfully, as if not a drop had touched your lips. You were inspired.’

  Cassie nodded. ‘No, I was well rehearsed. And I had no pre-performance nerves at all after the ouzo.’

  Jamie was on a roll. ‘And remember, we met up again at Edinburgh and that rapper was trying to chat you up.’

  Cassie remembered, smiling. ‘Jazzy Ed with the earrings and the kaftan and the crimson hair. I went out with him for two weeks. He complained that I was more interested in my poems than in him.’ She laughed. ‘He was right.’

  ‘And we met up again in Brighton, and Manchester – remember Liverpool in 2016?’

  ‘Sheffield – I loved the gigs I did there.’

  Jamie sighed. ‘And then in 2017, it all blew up. Anna wanted me to go.’

  ‘I remember you ringing me.’

  ‘I was in a panic. I had nowhere to live.’

  Cassie smiled reassuringly. ‘I never thought you were in a panic – you seemed so calm, so sure of what you were doing. And we’d always got on well.’

  ‘These two years have been lovely, the best. You’re quite special…’ Jamie wondered what to say next and how to say it. He thought of spilling his feelings, a rush of too-long-hidden emotion, but as he took a breath his courage failed. He raised his glass instead. ‘To you, Cassie, to your generosity, your kindness, your loveliness…’

  Cassie took in his shining eyes, his handsome face; he was smart in his elegant suit. ‘To me and you, Jamie – the odd couple. We rub along all right together, don’t we?’

  ‘Cheers. Yamas, as my dad used to say.’ Jamie chinked his glass against hers and offered a rueful smile. ‘To rubbing along.’

  Cassie agreed. ‘Absolutely. That’s better than most housemates do.’

  ‘Housemates.’ Jamie repeated the word softly. He wondered if now was the best time to tell her how he felt, but his mind couldn’t formulate the right words. He sighed again. It would keep. He murmured, ‘Oh, I hope we’re a bit more than just housemates, Cassie.’

  Maggie’s luggage was packed, standing upright like a sentry behind the front door to Lil’s flat, next to Lil’s bulging pink suitcase, stuffed with clothes and a couple of novels she hoped to find time to read, her treasured black and white photo flattened between the pages. It was almost nine o’ clock in the morning; the minibus would arrive at nine exactly. Lil was ready: she had her jacket on, a warm pullover, stretchy trousers that would be easy to travel in and some comfortable ankle boots she’d recently bought online. She was waiting for Maggie, who had promised to be there at a quarter to. She was ten minutes late.

  Lil swung her handbag onto her shoulder, the round one designed like a cat with green felt whiskers, and decided she should take action. Leaving her door open, she went into the corridor and noticed Maggie’s door was ajar. A bitter stench came from inside and the haze of hanging cigarette smoke caught in her throat. There were other smells, heavy sweat from clothes, grease from fried eggs. Lil peered through the crack
in the doorway into the lounge, staring straight towards the television, blaring loudly. An armchair faced the TV, its back to her, and Lil could see the top of Brian’s head, a wispy grey tuft poking over the back. Smoke curled from his head as if he were a sleeping dragon. She crept through the lounge, her feet soft on the patterned carpet, moving towards the kitchenette. She could glimpse Maggie inside, washing dishes. She was wearing slippers. Lil slithered behind the kitchen door, pushing it closed but being careful not to let it snap shut.

  She stared into Maggie’s surprised eyes and mouthed, ‘Come on. We’ll be late.’

  Maggie mouthed back exaggeratedly, shaking her head. ‘I’m not coming.’

  Lil put her hands on her hips and frowned, whispering, ‘Why not?’

  Maggie’s eyes bulged. She pointed to the living room, her expression frantic. ‘I can’t do it – I can’t leave Brian.’

  Lil grasped Maggie’s hand in one lightning move. ‘Be brave. We’ve agreed we’d go. You need a holiday. Come on – one step at a time.’

  Maggie gesticulated towards the living room wildly as Lil tugged her arm. Maggie tottered forwards, bumping into the stacked plates in a rack on the draining board. One slipped into the sink followed by another and splintered, making a sudden crashing noise as a plate broke in half. Both women stood still, frozen, holding their breath, waiting for Brian to respond. There was no sound except for the continuous rattle of the television.

  Maggie shrugged elaborately, her eyes panicking. ‘What do I do now?’

  ‘Follow me.’ Lil waved her hand towards the door. ‘We’re going.’

  ‘He needs me.’

  ‘What for?’

  ‘I’m his wife. I have to stay with him. I’m all he’s got.’

  ‘You’re all you’ve got.’ Lil grabbed Maggie by the shoulder and marched her through the kitchen, into the lounge and out of the door. Brian stayed where he was, smoke coiling, the back of his head stiff against the chair. She continued to propel Maggie until they were inside her flat, standing by the two upright cases. Lil forced her friend to look into her eyes.