Lil's Bus Trip

by Judy Leigh

  Why am I so low while you are so high?’

  ‘That was really great, Cassie – the best song I have written in a long time.’

  Cassie met Piet’s glistening eyes as he played the last few notes on the guitar, and her own suddenly began to fill. Without thinking, she threw her arms round him and hugged him. Her voice was soft in his ear. ‘I’m so glad I met you. And we will meet again. After all, I came to Amsterdam and I met someone who could become a good friend. Isn’t that much, much more important than a one-night stand or a brief fling?’

  She felt his arms around her and his shoulders began to shake. She wondered if he was sobbing but, when he raised his head, he was smiling, his face bright with happiness.

  ‘Yes, we are friends – good friends who are beginning to understand each other. Perhaps if you come to Amsterdam to visit me again, you can stay for longer and I will organise some opportunities for us to play music together. I think we could work well; we could get to know each other better and maybe one day we will be the firmest of friends,’ he offered. ‘And where you have a friendship, you can always have hope for something more.’

  The time was well past four o’clock in the morning. The room was dark, the blackness churning around her like the depths of a river. Lil blinked and glanced at the shadow of a bed. Maggie was asleep, making her usual soft sniffing sound, a gentle flow of air out of her nostrils. Lil rolled over. On the other side of the room, Cassie’s bed had not been slept in.

  Earlier, Tommy had knocked at the door while she and Maggie had been struggling into pyjamas and cleaning their teeth. Maggie’s eyes had widened like a bolting colt at the harsh knock. It had been late at night and Lil had immediately feared the worst: bad news, a stranger at the door. Cassie needed her. Lil had answered on the second, more persistent knock and, when Tommy had said Cassie wouldn’t be back that night, she’d pretended that she was already complicit in her daughter’s plans, waving her hands in protest.

  ‘You really didn’t have to come and tell me. I knew already. But thanks for passing on her message, Tommy. She’ll be having fun, I’m sure.’

  The uncomfortable feeling that had penetrated her skin and delved deep into her gut as soon as she had closed the door was still with her hours later, as she stared into the darkness. Lil knew that Cassie was not coming back to the hotel; she knew that she was with Piet, that they were sharing time together. Lil was not worried about what she knew, but what she didn’t know made her imagination swell like a hurricane. She didn’t know how Cassie felt about Piet, or even if he was a trustworthy, nice man. She didn’t know if Cassie was safe, if she was all right and, a terrifying thought, if she was enjoying herself, would she now start to form an attachment to this man; would she want to move to Amsterdam, to live there with him?

  Lil thought about Herman. She had liked him very much. She had wanted to see him again. She had enjoyed his company, the conversation, the human contact and the warmth of his smile, the touch of a hand. But she would always put her daughter first. Had Herman begged her to live with him on his farm near Boom, she would have said no; she’d have returned home with Cassie.

  Lil wasn’t sure about Cassie, though. What if she wanted to stay in Amsterdam, with Piet? It would be natural, Lil thought – Cassie was still young, she was still adventurous. As her heart thudded in her chest, she screwed up her face tightly so that she wouldn’t let out a sob, Lil knew that she was being selfish. She would never stand in Cassie’s way. But the thought that followed made her gasp: she wasn’t sure how she would manage to survive from day to day without her daughter now.

  25

  At breakfast, there was a lot of discussion about the empty chair at the table. Denise appeared very anxious to know the details. Frowning, she asked, ‘Who’s missing? Who hasn’t come down to breakfast?’ and then, more brightly, ‘So Cassie didn’t stay in her room last night? You mean she didn’t come back to the hotel?’ and finally, with obvious curiosity, ‘Are you sure you’ve heard from her, Lil? She hasn’t eloped or been abducted by her mystery man?’

  Lil ignored her, concentrating on chewing her bread and cheese, pouring coffee for Albert, who was on the right side of her, and chattering loudly to Maggie, who was on her left. Finally, Tommy, dressed in an ‘I Heart Amsterdam’ T-shirt that was several sizes too small, turned to everyone and said, ‘Right, let’s put an end to the gossip. Cassie texted me at eleven o’clock last night to say she wouldn’t be back; I passed her message on to Lil. Yes, Cassie stayed out all night. She’s an adult. If you want to know any more, then ask her yourself, all right?’

  Denise played with the sugar in the bowl throughout breakfast, hardly touching her food, while Sue ignored her and chattered loudly to Ken.

  Just as Lil and Maggie had finished packing their cases, Cassie bustled into their room, a broad grin on her face. ‘Sorry I’m late – did you get my message?’

  Lil glanced up from folding her underwear. ‘Yes, Tommy told me you’d texted him that you weren’t going to be back until after breakfast, so I didn’t worry.’ She held Cassie’s gaze for a moment. ‘Everything all right, love?’

  ‘Everything’s fine, thanks.’ Cassie smiled. She picked up her suitcase and began to arrange her clothes.

  ‘You’re a dark horse,’ Maggie observed. ‘So, did he seduce you, your Dutchman? Or…’ She leaned forward. ‘… did you seduce him first?’

  Cassie winked at Lil and held up a red bra. ‘Perhaps I should have worn this last night.’

  ‘Did he chase you round his bedroom, Cassie?’

  ‘He has a houseboat, Maggie.’

  ‘Ooooh.’ Maggie’s eyes gleamed. ‘I bet the boat rocked like mad.’

  ‘Oh, it certainly did. We rocked the boat all night.’ Cassie noticed Lil’s troubled face. ‘Piet and I sat on the deck until the early hours, writing songs. He has a mini recording studio and we laid some tracks down. I have a couple of copies – you can listen to it.’

  ‘That’s nice.’ Lil couldn’t help but be relieved.

  ‘The music really worked – we collaborate well. Our voices sound good on the tape. I was really pleased with what we achieved.’ Cassie yawned. ‘Then we ate breakfast, drank even more coffee and I came back here.’ She sighed; her eyes were tired. ‘I’ll grab a couple of hours’ sleep on the bus.’

  ‘Oh, is that all that happened? No passion?’ Maggie was disappointed. ‘Well, my case is packed. I’m ready to go. And I’ve put Brian’s present in my handbag for safekeeping. Do you want to know what I’ve got him, Lil?’

  Lil sat on her suitcase, compressing the lid while Cassie leaned over and clipped it shut. ‘Tell me later. We need to get downstairs, Maggie. We said we’d meet Tommy by ten and it’s almost quarter past.’ She raised an eyebrow. ‘Denise seems fascinated by your love life, Cassie. She talked about nothing else at breakfast, where you were and why you hadn’t come back and who you’d been seeing.’

  ‘Perhaps she’s not getting any action herself,’ Maggie suggested, her eyes wide.

  ‘Or quite the opposite…’ Cassie couldn’t help herself. ‘Perhaps she’s got nothing but love on her mind.’

  Lil seized the opportunity. ‘Why? What do you know? Tell me all about it.’

  ‘Yes, spill the beans,’ Maggie added.

  Cassie clicked her case shut. ‘All in good time.’ She checked the room: it was tidy and nothing had been left behind. ‘All in good time. We should go downstairs now. We don’t want to be late for our journey to Ghent.’

  On the bus, Lil asked Cassie to take the window seat next to her; Denise sat in the front with Tommy, unhappy that it was the only seat left, and Ken was ensconced at the back with Sue. Maggie sat herself between Emily and Pat and offered them chocolates from her handbag, then proceeded to read Vicky the Saucy Vet.

  Lil tucked her hand under Cassie’s arm. ‘So, tell me all about your man friend, Piet.’

  Cassie closed her eyes, enjoying the soft thrum of the wheels on the road beneath her; it
was rocking her to sleep. ‘Only if you tell me about Herman,’ Cassie murmured.

  ‘He’s a nice man. I like him. If he lived in England, in Salterley, I might let him take me out.’ Lil glanced slyly at Cassie. ‘But he doesn’t.’

  ‘Did you kiss him, Lil?’

  ‘Only once. So…’ She gave another sly sideways glance. ‘Tell me about Piet.’

  ‘I like him. He’s a good man. And a great musician. We get on well.’ Cassie paused, peeking at Lil through one eye. ‘I suppose if he lived in Salterley I’d see him again. But he lives in Amsterdam.’ She sighed, her eyelids heavy. ‘I said I might go back there in the autumn. A professional visit. We’ll play a few gigs together, then I’ll come home again.’

  Lil took her daughter’s hand. ‘Did you kiss him?’

  ‘Once…’ Cassie mumbled. ‘I just kissed him goodbye.’ Her eyes closed and gradually her breathing became the soft snuffle of sleep. Lil smiled and held Cassie’s hand tightly in hers.

  She took out her new novel: I, Sex Robot, a story about an energetic young android reporter in the year 22,000 who teleports through time in order to research and collect information about famous Lotharios from the past. Lil had read the first chapter and was intrigued to know how racy Roberta Bott would get on with her new darkly handsome beau, George, Lord Byron, an apparently dangerous young man who lived in the early 1800s. She glanced over her shoulder, listening to Sue’s monologue about Belgian chocolate to Ken, who had his sunglasses on and appeared to be asleep. DJ and Jake were still chatting about Amsterdam and how they’d enjoyed the club scene so much they were going to return later that year. Duncan was snoring loudly and Albert, who had been staring ahead of him, turned to Lil and held out a large, flat hand. She grinned back, delved into her cat handbag and passed him a chocolate. Emily was reading a book; she gazed up and caught Lil’s eye.

  ‘I’ve almost finished this, Lil. Do you want to borrow it?’

  Lil nodded and called back, ‘Is it any good?’

  ‘Oh, yes.’ Emily brandished her novel. ‘It’s called Birdsong. It’s set in World War One. It’s really very moving.’

  Lil was interested. ‘Is there any romance in it?’

  ‘Lots – Stephen and Isabelle have a passionate affair.’

  Lil waved I, Sex Robot. ‘I’ll swap you for this one when I’ve finished it.’

  Ken leaned back in his seat and touched his silk cravat. ‘I’m thinking of writing a novel about a gifted young Dutch painter. He moves to the south of France and paints landscapes but his life is troubled by psychotic delusions…’

  Cassie murmured in her sleep. ‘Van Gogh…’

  Suddenly, Pat let out a yell. ‘Lil – I just had a phone message from Thilde. She’s managed to take a day off work – she’s going to meet me in Ghent. We’re going to spend the whole day together. Isn’t that great?’

  ‘Oh, that’s wonderful news.’ Lil beamed. She thought for a moment, then added, ‘How will she get to Ghent from Boom? Is someone driving her there?’

  ‘No, she’s getting the train,’ Pat called. ‘It takes an hour and a half. She’ll be able to stay until late.’ His cheeks were flushed. ‘That’s fantastic, isn’t it?’

  ‘Fabulous.’ Lil grinned, and turned back to stare at her book. At her side, Cassie was snoozing, her head against the window. Lil continued to read her chapter. Roberta Bott and Lord Byron were in his chamber, naked, and he had just spoken to her in a deep, testosterone-fuelled voice, offering such romantic words that Lil marvelled at them:

  She walks in beauty, like the night

  Of cloudless climes and starry skies;

  And all that's best of dark and bright

  Meet in her aspect and her eyes.

  Lil let the book drop on her knee and, in her imagination, Roberta and Byron faded away and she and Herman were standing in the room together in their places. They gazed at each other, eyes locked, and Herman repeated the words, ‘She walks in beauty like the night…’

  Lil sighed. It could have happened, once upon a time, many years ago, but she had been far too busy to think about herself as the years had whizzed by from one to the next. She hadn’t wanted to risk heartbreak and, besides, independence had suited her. But now Lil wondered if life had passed her by, if love had passed her by. Frankie had been the only one, and it was too late for any of that now.

  Two hours later, at half past two, eleven of the travellers were sitting by the window of a café, drinking hot chocolate, staring out at the passers-by and talking amongst themselves excitedly. Sue was delighted with the hotel, a smart building, which comprised a house from 1517 and an old cotton factory from 1857, overlooking the Leie river, where they had already left their luggage.

  ‘I have the most wonderful room all to myself – it has an en suite and a wonderful view of the river. Ken’s room is next to mine. He says he can see the belfry from his room.’

  Emily was sipping thick chocolate from a huge cup, licking her lips. ‘I want to visit the seventh century abbey this afternoon. It’s amazing.’

  ‘St Bavo’s? There’s so many beautiful things to see around the town,’ Cassie agreed. ‘But I think we may have missed the Friday market.’

  Duncan shrugged. ‘The bars are all open.’

  Sue waved a hand happily. ‘Ken has told me about a bar called Dulle Griet’s – named after the Breughel painting. I want to go there, my dear.’

  Tommy gazed around him. ‘Where is Ken, by the way? I need to organise tonight’s meal.’

  Jake elbowed DJ and sniggered. ‘Denise isn’t here either.’

  ‘Ken will be here soon – he wanted to talk to someone at the hotel about his room. He was asking for some extra towels, I think.’ Sue sniffed. ‘Denise has a migraine.’

  DJ elbowed Jake, who winked and clapped a hand over his mouth.

  Pat rubbed his hands together. ‘I’ll be leaving you all in a moment. Thilde will be here any second. She’s going to meet me outside.’ He ran a hand through his hair. ‘Don’t book any meals for me tonight, will you, Tommy? I’m spoken for already.’

  Maggie piped up. ‘Where are we going to eat?’

  ‘We’re sorting all that out now, over our hot drinks.’ Tommy held up a pen. ‘Right, who wants to—?’

  ‘Ah, here’s Ken,’ Sue called, waving a hand.

  Ken rushed into the café, an apologetic expression on his face. ‘Sorry, everyone – that took longer than I intended.’

  Sue stood up, her voice loud. ‘Shall I order you a drink, Ken?’

  ‘Oh, no, thanks.’ He offered her a quick smile and turned abruptly as Denise appeared in the doorway. She looked flushed and happy.

  ‘My migraine’s gone. I feel much better now.’

  Ken touched her elbow gently. ‘What will you have, Denise?’

  She met his gaze and arched an eyebrow. ‘Oh, something wicked, full of Belgian chocolate.’

  ‘Really, my dear?’ Sue was appalled. ‘Isn’t chocolate bad for migraines, Denise?’

  Denise glanced at Ken. ‘Oh, I find a little of what you fancy does you the world of good, Syoo.’

  Lil pressed her lips together, trying not to burst out laughing. It was most entertaining, the way others’ secret lives and liaisons were unfolding on this trip. Lil was enjoying it almost as much as her romance novels.

  Suddenly, Pat leaned over and grasped her elbow. ‘Lil – I’m going now. Thilde’s here. She’s outside.’

  ‘That’s lovely.’ Lil beamed, not really sure why Pat was announcing the fact of Thilde’s arrival only to her. ‘Have a great time, Pat.’

  Pat’s grasp on her arm became tighter. ‘Come out and say hello.’

  ‘In a minute.’ Lil picked up her hot chocolate, bringing the creamy drink to her mouth. ‘I don’t want this to get cold…’

  She narrowed her eyes as she stared out of the window. Thilde was waving, happy, her dark curls blowing in a gentle breeze. Pat was already on his feet.

  ‘I’ll see everyone later.
’ He turned to Lil. ‘Well, are you coming?’

  ‘With you and Thilde?’ Lil frowned, confused. She shook her head and moved her eyes back to the window, where the sound of Thilde knocking gently against the glass had caught her attention.

  Lil heard Cassie murmur, ‘Go on, Lil. Go off and have some fun.’

  Lil stared at Thilde, who was waving again and smiling excitedly. Behind her, a tall man had appeared; he was wearing a hat and a smart jacket. Lil recognised the bushy brows and the twist of his grin. All of a sudden, she was flapping her arms and calling out.

  ‘Herman! Herman!’

  She turned to Pat and grasped his sleeve, tugging herself to her feet. ‘Come on, Pat – let’s get a move on. I’ve got a date with a handsome man and I don’t intend to keep him waiting.’

  26

  Lil didn’t want the evening to end. They were sitting at a table overlooking the river Leie, having shared a pizza. She was having a wonderful time. She watched Herman carefully as his lips touched the beer glass, as he brought food to his mouth and chewed slowly, as his eyes met hers and he smiled his lopsided grin. She beamed back and gazed towards the river that was dark and smooth as glass, reflecting the tall houses and wide bridges as black images in the water. The sky overhead was pale, streaked with white, stringy clouds. She heard a church clock strike seven. Herman dabbed his mouth with a napkin.

  ‘So, Lil, I hope you had a good day today. Which part was your favourite?’

  Lil saw the glimmer in his eyes. She pretended to think hard, waving a finger as if in doubt. ‘Well, the boat trip was lovely, especially because you made sure we sat at the front. Seeing all those historic buildings, the winding canals and the beautiful fronts of the houses. I loved that.’

  ‘So, the boat trip was best?’

  ‘I enjoyed the deep-fried peas you bought in the café. Maggie would have loved them.’