Lil's Bus Trip

by Judy Leigh

‘Priorities?’ Albert’s voice was hushed.

  ‘It’s been so refreshing to travel, to meet new people, to experience the outside world. I needed this holiday. I needed to live a little.’

  He nodded. ‘And how are you living a little?’

  ‘I’m having fun, every minute.’ Lil replied. ‘I have spent quality time with Cassie and with my best friend, Maggie – and now with you. It feels nice to be special, and with someone special. I never realised how much it made a difference.’

  ‘And the farmer.’

  Lil gazed into Albert’s eyes for a sign that he might be jealous of Herman. She found none, just a kind warmth, an interest. She gazed out towards the ocean and sighed. ‘I don’t know what I will do about Herman. He’s invited me to visit him in the autumn. I could go.’

  Albert smiled. ‘Wait and see how you feel when you’re home again.’

  He wrapped an arm around her and she leaned back, enjoying the human contact, the delicious feeling that someone was close by, someone who would offer her friendship and warmth. The Ferris wheel began to descend again, making her stomach lurch. Albert’s grip on her shoulder tightened.

  The wheel reached the bottom and began to ascend again, the pod swinging back and forth as Lil held her breath. Life was exciting. A new thought filled her mind: life took you to the bottom of the wheel’s rotation; for a moment you were still and in limbo, as she had been before the bus trip came along, and then suddenly you were on the up, as she had been whisked away to France and Belgium and Holland. She hadn’t expected anything other than continuity, stability, but now she was rising up towards the clouds, being rocked back and forth, perfectly safe but also a little insecure, heady, suspended and waiting, lifted off her feet in mid-air.

  Lil exhaled. Life could be interesting like that. She had been alone, managing to get by, happy enough; but now she was riding high, with uncertainty rising around her and it was exciting. Handsome Albert was next to her, his arm around her shoulder, and not so many miles away on a farm in Belgium there was a very pleasant man who’d promised to wait for her, who had told her he cared. Lil had heard often that life’s opportunities, and especially men, came along like buses: there was nothing for such a long time, then they’d turn up in twos.

  ‘Fore!’’ Maggie yelled. She had no idea why she’d shouted ‘Fore!’ except that she associated it with thwacking a ball with a club and she was feeling pleased with herself: she’d just beaten everyone at mini-golf, twice. She had discovered a new talent – and she had enjoyed every moment of the game. She adjusted her sunglasses and her hat, raised the golf club over her shoulder and posed, triumphant. She felt like a movie star, like Liz Taylor. And she knew she looked well: she was more relaxed, more self-assured. Having fun suited her much better than watching Brian gaze at the TV. And she was sure, thanks to Lil, that things would be very different when she was back home again at Clover Hill. DJ lifted his club, his face in a mock-morose grimace, and he groaned.

  ‘You’ve won again, Maggie. You’re a golf wizard. You’re unbeatable.’

  Cassie smiled. ‘It’s probably time to head back to the hotel.’ She gazed at her phone. ‘It’s almost six and we all agreed we’d all meet up back there before dinner…’

  She glanced at Emily, who was staring at her feet, hands in her pockets. ‘You must be hungry, Em. You’ve hardly eaten anything all day.’

  Emily forced a grin. ‘I’m starving, Cass – you’re right. We’ll have a nice time tonight. I don’t want to be a wet blanket. I ought to cheer up and stop being such a mope.’

  Cassie lowered her voice. ‘It’s hardly surprising, though. You must be worried. You still haven’t heard from Alex?’

  ‘Oh, this has happened before a couple of times.’ Emily sighed. ‘I worry that I don’t hear anything for days and days, and then, all of a sudden, he phones and it’s fine; he’s been out on some sort of manoeuvre or there’s been an embargo on communications – there’s always a good reason.’

  DJ and Jake approached and DJ spoke softly. ‘We’ll look after you, Em. Don’t worry.’

  Emily nodded. ‘I know I can rely on you two. But please don’t say anything to the others. No one else on the bus knows that I haven’t heard from Alex in days. I don’t like to make a big deal of it. I’m sure it will all be fine. It’s just tough, you know. I’m trying to enjoy myself but all the time there’s this nagging feeling, wondering if he’s okay.’

  Jake’s voice was sympathetic. ‘We’ve been neglecting you a bit, sorry. We’ve been trying to cheer Pat up – he’s been down in the dumps too.’ He thumped DJ on the arm. ‘The course of true love and all that…’

  ‘Never runs smooth,’ DJ finished.

  Pat was engrossed, staring at his phone and thumbing a message. DJ rolled his eyes and muttered, ‘He’s missing his Thilde.’

  Maggie lifted the golf club hopefully and called, ‘Don’t we have time for just one more round of golf?’

  Everyone else groaned in unison.

  Cassie spoke softly. ‘We’ve got to tear you away, Maggie – we’re going back to the hotel. But it’s free drinks for you tonight – you’ve beaten us all.’

  ‘Free drinks would be nice.’ Maggie was pleased with herself. She glanced around expectantly. ‘I wish Lil had seen my moment of glory.’

  Jake pointed into the distance. ‘She’s gone off with Albert.’

  DJ nodded. ‘And Ken’s with his two girlfriends at the gallery.’

  Emily grinned. ‘Come on, then, boys – let’s get back and we’ll have a really fun evening. I promise to stop being grumpy.’

  ‘Here’s Duncan.’ Maggie waved an arm towards two figures slouching towards them. ‘And Tommy. I wonder if they won lots of money at the casino.’

  ‘I don’t think so.’ Cassie shook her head. Both men were walking slowly, heads down. She murmured softly, ‘They’ll get it in the neck from Angie and Kerry when they are home if they’ve squandered the family fortunes.’

  Pat had finished his text. ‘Are we going back to the hotel now?’

  ‘How do, all?’ Tommy came to a halt.

  ‘Did you win millions at the casino?’ Maggie was hopeful.

  ‘Nah, we both lost far more than we should have,’ Tommy grumbled. ‘We ought to know when to stop by now, Dunc.’

  ‘But we’ll live to fight another day, Tom,’ Duncan offered. ‘Not like that poor lad in the newspaper.’

  ‘What poor lad?’ Pat asked.

  ‘I picked up an English paper in one of the shops.’ Tommy waved a Daily Mirror. ‘I thought I’d find out about all the news back home. It’s not all good though. Some poor soldier in the Middle East has been killed…’

  Emily stood still as stone. Her face had suddenly lost all its colour. Cassie spoke gently. ‘Can I see the paper, Tommy?’

  Tommy passed her the newspaper, indicating the headline on the front page, and the map showing the region where the event had happened. Cassie scanned the article as fast as she could, searching for a name and finding none, then she read aloud.

  ‘A British soldier has been killed and three others were injured in the attack on the Taji military camp, north of Baghdad. No names have yet been released.’ She glanced at Emily, who was trembling. ‘Em?’

  Emily whispered, ‘That’s where Alex is…’

  DJ, Pat and Jake had surrounded her, their arms around her.

  Cassie spoke softly. ‘Em, I think you should ring home.’

  29

  Cassie was sitting in the hotel bar, a glass of wine on the table next to her notepad. She was attempting to write a poem about November the fifth. She had written several words so far and circled them: bonfire, fireworks, children, Guy Fawkes. She crossed them out one by one and put the end of the pen to her lips, thinking.

  She had been in the bar for several hours, and was currently sipping her second glass of Merlot. She’d watched Ken sneak out with Denise at half past six, a protective hand against her back as they’d made for the exit, pr
esumably going out to an early dinner together. She’d waved to DJ and Jake as they’d brought in some takeaway food to share with Pat and Emily. Cassie sighed. Poor Emily had phoned her own parents as well as Alex’s, who lived nearby. They were all in the same excruciating position of knowing nothing and fearing the worst. Emily hadn’t wanted to go out to dinner and her friends were rallying round with pizza and beer. Tommy and Duncan had taken Maggie for a fish supper. She had been delighted, dressing up in a long flowery dress, glittering jewellery and sunglasses, a wide smile on her face as she’d sauntered through the bar between the two men, waving a hand like a movie star.

  Cassie had decided to eat alone after a hotel receptionist contacted her to say that she’d received a message from Le Papillon, a Michelin-starred restaurant in a huge local hotel; they’d phoned by request of a Lilian Ryan to tell her that she was dining there this evening and would be home late. Cassie had raised an eyebrow and asked if there was bar food available in the hotel and ordered a salad for herself. That had been three hours ago; it was half past nine now.

  Cassie had watched Ken creep into the bar with Denise just before eight o’clock; he’d glanced ruefully in Cassie’s direction, although Denise’s gaze had been only for him. Cassie had scribbled a few lines about fireworks popping and children gasping and bonfires roaring and crossed it all out. She’d muttered, ‘Fatuous rubbish,’ to herself and swallowed a mouthful of wine. Fifteen minutes later, Ken had reappeared with Sue, who had immediately noticed Cassie and waved frantically, yelling, ‘How good to see you. Ken and I are going out for a pizza. We thought we’d keep it low-key tonight, since we’re all having a huge meal tomorrow to celebrate together.’

  Cassie had wriggled her fingers in greeting. ‘Enjoy your pizza, Sue,’ her eyes sliding from Sue’s glowing face to Ken’s sheepish expression, wondering how much he had already eaten on his dinner date with Denise.

  Now, over an hour later, she brought the wine glass to her lips, thinking she might have a coffee before retiring to bed. It occurred to her that she might write the bonfire poem from Guy Fawkes’ point of view. She thought perhaps he had a story to tell, so she wrote the title ‘Gunpowder Plot’ and underlined it. Her phone buzzed: it was Jamie. She held it to her ear. ‘Hi, you.’

  ‘Cassie, just a quick one – I don’t want to spoil your evening.’

  ‘You’re not spoiling anything – I’m dining alone.’

  ‘Oh?’ Jamie’s voice was tinged with concern. ‘Is everything all right?’

  ‘Fine.’ Cassie decided she wouldn’t tell Jamie about Emily, how her boyfriend had been incommunicado for nine days now and how everyone feared the worst. Instead she said, ‘Lil’s out painting the town red. She’s dining in a Michelin restaurant and I’m waiting in the bar for her to come back.’

  ‘You’re being the parent, then?’ Jamie sounded amused.

  Cassie nodded, although she then realised Jamie wouldn’t be able to see her. She exhaled. ‘I don’t mind. I want her to enjoy her holiday.’

  ‘But you should be enjoying yourself too, Cass.’

  ‘I am.’ She sat upright, immediately enthusiastic. ‘And I’ll be home soon. Maybe you and I can go somewhere…?’

  ‘I’ve been thinking about this bonfire tour. I have contacted a couple more venues who seem genuinely interested in booking you and there are several others who’ll get on board. I think we might be able to organise at least seven nights in London, maybe more.’

  Cassie nodded. ‘That would be good.’

  ‘We’ll finalise it when you’re back.’

  ‘Perhaps we can invite some guests along to perform.’ Cassie was full of enthusiasm now. ‘I could ask Piet, the man I met in Amsterdam…’

  ‘You met someone in Amsterdam?’ Jamie’s voice was suddenly filled with anxiety.

  Cassie hesitated for a moment too long. ‘I mentioned him to you. He’s a musician. We had dinner. We wrote a song together – two songs. I told you…’

  ‘I didn’t realise you’d had dinner.’ Jamie’s tone was hushed now.

  ‘There was nothing much to tell.’ Cassie tried a different angle, determined to sound positive. ‘Perhaps you and I could go to Amsterdam later this year, Jamie. You’d like Piet – he’d like you too. He’s very creative.’

  ‘That’s good.’ Jamie’s voice was soft. ‘I’m glad you’re having such a great time, Cass.’

  ‘Oh, I am.’

  There was a pause, then Jamie’s voice was in her earpiece; he was clearly attempting to sound more cheerful and unconcerned. ‘Well, I just wanted to tell you that we could put a good tour together. I hope I didn’t disturb—’

  ‘No, of course not – it’s good to hear from you…’ Cassie thought about adding that she was looking forward to seeing him, but he was speaking again hurriedly.

  ‘Okay, I will see you soon – all’s fine here. I’ve got a physiotherapy appointment tomorrow and I’ll probably rest afterwards.’

  ‘I hope it goes well, Jamie; please don’t – oh!’ Cassie noticed two familiar figures walking into the bar, arm in arm, their heads close together. She called, ‘Lil. Over here.’

  ‘I’ll talk to you soon, Cassie. Bye.’ Jamie’s voice was low, then the phone clicked. Cassie sighed and placed it on the table; it was too late now to tell him that she was missing him. Lil and Albert were approaching, Lil hugging a giant black and white stuffed toy. Cassie stood up, throwing her arms out for an embrace. ‘Where have you been, you dirty stop-out?’

  Lil turned to Albert. ‘Could you get us all a drink?’ She thrust a hand into her handbag and brought out her purse, shoving it in Albert’s hand. ‘You paid for dinner so this is on me. I’d like a white wine and Cassie will have a red one and buy whatever you want for yourself, my dear.’

  Albert’s gaze was tender; his fingers folded around the purse and he moved off towards the bar on his mission. Lil sat down, pushing the panda in the seat next to her.

  ‘We ate at the Papillon. It means butterfly. Cassie, it was so posh and so expensive and so nice. But I told them that Albie and I were celebrities.’

  Cassie reached out and grabbed Lil’s fingers, taking them in her cupped hands. ‘What did you eat?’

  ‘Oh, the menu was all in French but the waiter was ever so nice – he asked us what we liked and he suggested things. I had white fish in a sauce, with so much butter in the sauce that Keith at the Kaff would have had a heart attack on the spot. Oh, and the puddings! I had a creamy pudding on a square plate with all sorts of sauce and squiggles on it, and, the wine, Cassie. I’ve never had wine like it. We had a bottle of white wine and it was like drinking a mixture of sunshine and honey.’

  ‘You had a good time, Lil.’

  ‘I wish you’d been there. But we didn’t book – we turned up and when I said we were celebs, they offered us the best table. We’d been to the fairground and we were hungry so we thought we’d treat ourselves.’ She waved a hand towards the panda. ‘Albie won this for me on the shooting gallery and we went on the Ferris wheel…’

  Cassie thought about asking her mother about Herman, wondering if she’d forgotten all about him, given this sudden new friendship with Albert, but Albert had just arrived at the table, holding a small tray of drinks: two glasses of wine and a pint of beer. Cassie noticed his hands trembling beneath the weight of the load, so she leaped up, taking the tray from him. Albert sat down next to Lil, placing the panda gently on his knee as if it were a child. Lil reached over and took his hand. ‘We’ve had such a wonderful time, haven’t we?’

  Albert nodded, cupping a hand to his ear. ‘Oh, we’ve enjoyed ourselves.’

  Cassie reached for her glass and held it up. ‘To all the good times to come. To more fun holidays.’

  As they clinked their glasses together, Cassie saw Lil’s eyes shining with happiness. Albert’s lips curved in a wide smile. Cassie recalled Pat’s sad face, Emily’s anguished eyes, Jamie’s troubled tone when she’d mentioned having had dinner with Piet. Cassie
sighed, aware that there was little she could do to soothe the sad feelings of so many people she cared about, and she wished that, somehow, everything could magically be made all right.

  The next morning, the sky was overcast, heavy clouds hanging low; light rain spattered the grimy windows of the minibus. Ten people were huddled in different seats, having forsaken their previous arrangement. Tommy was trying to work out who had not yet arrived, the itinerary clutched in his hand. Lil was sitting closer to the back seat next to Albert, sharing chocolates, her novel on her knee. In front of her, Maggie was sitting next to Duncan, already falling asleep, her head on his shoulder. Tommy frowned.

  ‘Ken’s missing.’

  Sue and Denise were sitting alone on opposite ends of the aisle, an empty seat next to each of them, their hands resting lightly on the fabric, saving the space. Denise piped up, ‘Ken didn’t come down to breakfast.’

  ‘I knocked on his door early this morning, my dear, but he didn’t answer,’ Sue added, adjusting the flowing scarf she wore.

  DJ suggested, ‘He’s probably tired.’

  Jake agreed. ‘This holiday seems to have really taken it out of him.’

  Then Sue and Denise chimed together, ‘Here he is,’ and both patted the seat next to them. Ken clambered onto the bus, his face haggard and his eyes tired, collapsing next to Sue. Denise’s eyes were like daggers.

  Tommy’s frown deepened. ‘So, who else isn’t here? There’s still an empty seat.’

  Emily’s voice called from the back seat. ‘Pat’s missing, Tommy.’ She clutched the copy of Birdsong in front of her, sunglasses hiding her sad eyes.

  Cassie, in the front seat next to Tommy, gazed around the bus. ‘Has anyone seen Pat this morning?’

  ‘He had his own room.’ Jake shrugged. ‘We saw him about half an hour ago at breakfast, eating bread and cheese. He was a bit quiet.’

  ‘We shared pizza last night but he didn’t drink much – he seemed quite quiet then too. He didn’t seem like himself at breakfast, either.’ DJ was perplexed. ‘I hope he’s all right.’