Lil's Bus Trip

by Judy Leigh

  ‘I heard you’d gone back home from one of your friends, from one of the other soldiers at the camp. I went to the base, trying to find you. You didn’t even leave an address so that I could write and tell you what had happened. I was all alone.’

  ‘I’m so sorry. I was young, foolish. It was wrong to do what I did.’

  ‘It was very wrong.’ Lil wiped a tear from her cheek with a knuckle. ‘But you left me my best treasure. You left me my Cassie.’

  ‘I wish I’d known…’

  Lil’s little voice rose. ‘We didn’t need you. We managed by ourselves. My daughter is a clever girl – she’s worked in Africa and China and then she came home again and we look after each other. She’s a poet now; she performs all over the country.’

  ‘You raised her well.’

  ‘She was mine to raise, Frankie.’ Lil’s voice was firm. ‘No one else’s. I put her first. I did a good job, all by myself.’

  ‘I’m so sorry,’ Frankie muttered. ‘I can’t make it up to you. I wish I could.’

  ‘You can’t,’ Lil called out, then she was thoughtful for a moment. ‘It’s in the past. I’m glad I saw you again. Time has moved on.’

  ‘It has, Lily. We’re old people now. I’m all alone – I’m widowed.’

  ‘I may be old, but I don’t let it hold me back.’ Lil pressed her lips together. ‘I’ve just been on holiday.’ She spoke firmly, tilting her chin. ‘I have been to Amsterdam and Belgium and France with my daughter and my friends. I have a new gentleman friend – he’s called Albert. He’s a fine man.’

  Cassie squeezed Lil’s hand. Lil took another breath and continued. ‘It worked out well for me. I’m in nice sheltered accommodation. I have enough money from my business. I have friends, I have my health, a good life. I can’t complain.’

  Frankie nodded. ‘It’s good to see you again.’ He put a hand to his face. ‘I’m glad you’re well – I’m glad things are all right for you now.’

  ‘And you, Frankie. How’s life treating you?’

  ‘I’m fine… a little lonely – David is often busy and he lives a couple hours away. I see his family sometimes but life’s, you know, quiet.’

  Cassie murmured, ‘Life’s never quiet around Lil.’

  Lil suddenly remembered. ‘Oh, Cassie – I said I was going to talk to Frankie by myself. I’d forgotten you were here. I’m glad you stayed, though. I’m glad you’re here.’

  ‘I’m always here.’

  Frankie inched forwards, pressing his nose against the screen. ‘Cassie, are you still there?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Do you need money? Does Lily need money? I’ve no use for all of it now…’

  ‘We’re fine.’

  ‘I spoke to David. I asked him…’ Frankie seemed suddenly sad. ‘Will you be able to come visit me here, Cassie? I’d like to meet you, to get to know you.’

  ‘That would be nice.’ Cassie glanced at Lil. ‘I can’t promise anything right now, though.’

  Lil took a breath. ‘You go, love. You go and meet Frankie.’ She began to laugh and cry at the same time, tears rolling down her cheeks. ‘You should go and visit him, say hello, get to know your father while you can. After all these years, it’s about time you had one.’ Lil wiped her eyes, smiled at the screen and patted her soft hair. ‘Well, it was nice to meet you after such a long time, Frankie. I wish you all the best. There are no hard feelings, as they say. I’m going to sign off now. I have to get ready. I’m meeting my friends in a while and my gentleman friend, Albert. I hope you’ll have a pleasant evening too. Goodbye. It was nice to catch up, after so long.’

  Frankie murmured and the screen fizzed, became fuzzy and was blank. Cassie raised her eyebrows. ‘Well, that was Frankie Chapman.’

  Lil wriggled in her seat and exhaled, her hands forming little fists. ‘Well indeed. Now everything’s all done and dusted, as they say. Time marches on and we can move forward.’

  ‘How are you feeling?’

  Lil wiped her eyes and when her hand came away, her face was defiant. ‘I thought I’d be heartbroken, seeing him again after so long. I’ve thought about him every day since he left me. I suppose I was always in love with him. That feeling never went away, not even after you left home, Cassie. I still thought of Frankie as the only one I’d care for.’

  ‘And now?’

  ‘Now I don’t feel anything at all. He’s an old man. I don’t recognise him any more.’ Lil took a deep breath. ‘Of course, I know he’s a memory I’ll never forget. He was my Frankie; he’s lived in my heart for so long. But that man I’ve just spoken to is different now; he has had a life of his own that has nothing to do with me. Frankie’s changed, and I’ve changed. And now I know that I want something else. There are things in my life I’m still looking forward to, and they don’t include him any more.’

  ‘That’s good to know, Lil. I’ve found out about my father and you’ve put the past behind you. It’s been good for us both to talk to him.’

  ‘And what about you, Cassie love? Was it a shock, meeting him after all this time?’

  ‘It was, at first.’ Cassie shrugged, her eyes gleaming. ‘I’ve always been your daughter, Lil, the apple of your eye – feisty, too outspoken. I never had a father figure – you were my role model, both mum and dad, and I didn’t need anyone else. As a kid, I copied how you were. So I couldn’t settle down with one man either. How could I? But now, I suppose I’ve got the bit of the jigsaw that had been missing. I can meet Frankie, connect with a past I never knew. Now maybe I can move forward too.’

  ‘You’re right. I’m glad we spoke to him, and I’m glad you were there with me the whole time. But that’s done now – we’d better get going. I need to put my glad rags on. We’re off down the pub. I dare say there’s a glass of something on the table already with my name on it.’ Her eyes shone. ‘I’ve finally put Frankie behind me. Come on, I’ve got things to do, people to meet, fun to have.’

  37

  Chairs had been set up around two tables that were pushed together. Two seats were empty. One seat was for Pat, a pint of bitter set down in front of the vacant chair, placed there by Tommy, who had photographed it and sent it to him in Boom. An immediate reply showed Pat at the dinner table with the Goossens family, his arm around Thilde, all of them holding glasses aloft and smiling. He looked serenely happy.

  Lil stared at the photo on the screen, seeking out Herman, who was sitting between Marieke and Damiaan, a hearty grin on his face. She thought of Herman, on his tractor, at home. She reached for her glass of wine, forming a plan.

  Duncan’s seat was empty; he was busy at the bar with Kerry, serving customers, pulling pints. Lil could see his smile as he cracked jokes. She glanced around the table; everyone was there. Ken was drinking red wine, sitting between Sue and Denise, all smartly dressed, relaxed and happy. They had been joined by several other members of the tennis club, who listened with interest as Ken expounded the architectural delights of Bruges. Emily, her hair in a ponytail, was talking football tactics to Jake and DJ, one dressed in black and the other in a smart shirt and designer jeans; they had played a five-a-side game earlier and won easily. DJ and Jake were keen to discuss two girls who had apparently been eyeing them from the touchline. Then Emily explained to everyone at the table, her eyes round with relief and happiness, that she’d spoken on the phone with Alex earlier. There had been a terrible crisis in Taji, a tragedy, but the marines would be returning to the UK soon. She’d hear all about it when he was back on leave, and she couldn’t wait to see him again.

  Tommy sat next to Jake, trying to tell his wife, Angie, an athletic woman with short blonde hair, about a goal he’d saved that afternoon. Now Pat was no longer keeper, Tommy had been moved to the position between the posts and his place as defender had been taken by a local lad, Kevin, who was a talented header of the ball and a much better tackler.

  Maggie sat with Brian, drinking wine and chatting. Brian was chewing gum frantically, trying his hardest to gi
ve up smoking. He was pleased with himself: he’d started dancing – he was loving the new exercise – and he was going to save the money he used to spend on cigarettes to take Maggie on holiday to Italy. Lil patted her hand. ‘You’ll have a wonderful time.’

  ‘It’s all thanks to you.’ Maggie beamed. ‘You’ve brought me and Brian back together again.’

  Brian agreed. ‘I can’t thank you enough, Lil. My Maggie’s a transformed woman. Look at her. She looks like a movie star. She’s my very own Liz Taylor.’

  Lil smiled. ‘You can always buy me a drink, Brian. And Maggie and I will still be going for girls’ nights out together. We developed a few habits while we were away – gambling, drinking, having fun…’

  ‘Too right. We aren’t going to give that up.’ Maggie squeezed Brian’s hand in hers.

  Cassie and Jamie were talking quietly, their heads together. Lil listened carefully, trying to catch the gist of what they were saying; she’d heard the word ‘Father’ and another word, ‘David’, and she noticed Cassie’s eager expression, the one she’d seen many times when her daughter had been a child, and she knew at once that Cassie intended to go to the USA and visit Frankie. Lil didn’t mind; she turned to Albert, gave him her full attention and murmured, ‘Would you like another beer, my sweetheart?’

  Albert nodded, reading her lips. The background noise in the bar was quite loud and distorted, especially as Alice Springs in her dangling-cork hat had just launched into a tuneless version of ‘Down Under’. At that moment, Kerry arrived at the table with a tray of drinks, which she declared were on the house, from Duncan. A large diamond twinkled in the lobe of each of her ears as she set the drinks down. She grinned at Cassie. ‘Will you do a number for us on stage next, Cass? Duncan asked if you would…’

  Cassie waved a piece of paper. ‘I’ve scribbled a quick song.’ She indicated a black instrument case next to her. ‘And I’ve brought the banjo.’

  ‘Fab,’ Kerry cooed. ‘And you are all coming to the Belgian Beer and Stew night on Friday?’

  ‘Wouldn’t miss it.’ Jake grinned and thumped DJ’s shoulder.

  Duncan helped Alice Springs to descend from the little stage, as she wobbled on her heeled boots. Then he took the microphone. ‘Thanks, Alice, for your rendition of the well-known song by Men At Work. But now we’re not going “Down Under”. Quite the opposite. As you know, a group of us recently went on a coach trip to Europe, thanks to our good mate Tommy Judd. And, as it turns out, he may be organising another later in the year, a Christmas-shopping trip in Cologne.’

  ‘When all the beer you bought runs out?’ Kerry quipped good-naturedly.

  ‘I’m going with him next time,’ Angie yelled, tucking an arm through Tommy’s. ‘I want some diamond earrings like Kerry’s.’

  ‘What about the lacy undies I bought you?’ Tommy whispered, his cheeks suddenly reddening as he realised that DJ and Jake had overheard and they began to cheer raucously.

  ‘So,’ Duncan yelled, trying to restore order. He gazed around the bar, all the tables filled with customers. ‘We all had a really good time, although it was very eventful. Maybe next time we’ll take a full-size coach and you can all come with us. No more getting arrested at customs, though.’ He winked in Maggie’s direction and she winked back.

  There was a rousing cheer from every table. Glasses were raised. Duncan spoke into the mic. ‘So, I’ve asked Cassie to give us a song. Here she is with her song about our holiday bus trip.’

  Cassie was next to him, holding the banjo. Her hair was wrapped in a black, yellow and red ribbon, the colours of the Belgian flag. Her dress was a patchwork of red and black velvet. She grinned. ‘I’ve written this little ditty specially for Tommy, Duncan, and all the others who came on a very eventful trip.’ She gazed at rapt faces and added, ‘If you can pick the tune up, please do sing along.’

  Applause echoed around the room as Cassie plucked a few jaunty notes, allowing the twanging rhythm to establish itself as a tune, a few people clapping along. Then she began to sing, her voice strong and persistent, her eyes twinkling with mischief:

  We took a bus trip ’cross the sea

  A much-needed break for Lil and me

  We went to France, to Bruges city

  The ale was good, the buildings pretty

  Then Amsterdam, canals, good cheer,

  And wacky brownies, too much beer.

  A howl of protest came from Duncan and Tommy, their wives good-naturedly nodding in agreement. Cassie rode the wave of yells and applause and continued with a cheeky grin.

  We played football at the farm

  Enjoyed the food, the beer, the charm…

  We said goodbye to our friend Pat

  Who fell in love – well, fancy that!

  In France, good food across the table

  We threw rolls, all drunk and quite unstable

  Detained at customs with Maggie’s dope

  Ken came to the rescue – heroic bloke –

  We paid the fine and rushed to the boat

  All so relieved to be back afloat

  Then Tommy drove us safely home

  And now, wherever we may roam

  We’ve memories we’ll always treasure

  And friendships that will last forever.

  A loud cheer resonated around the bar. Denise banged the table and yelled, ‘Well done, Cassie.’

  Ken raised his glass and everyone else copied, chorusing, ‘Friendship.’

  Cassie stepped gingerly from the stage, the banjo held aloft, amid deafening applause, and waved enthusiastically to the crowd, blowing kisses. She sat down next to Jamie, put her banjo away and whispered, ‘It’s not technically the best song I’ve ever written.’

  His head close to hers, he replied, ‘But it’s probably one of the most popular in The Jolly Weaver, and today that’s what counts.’

  ‘It certainly is, Jamie.’ She sat up, tucking a hand through the crook of his arm. ‘Have you thought about what we discussed earlier?’

  He nodded. ‘Do you really want me to come with you to the States to meet your father?’

  ‘I do. It’s going to be a big deal for me, having a father. It’s important to have him in my life – and you’re a huge part of my life already.’ She met his eyes, her own shining with affection. ‘I rang David. We can stay with him and his wife in Denver. Then we can hire a car, visit Frankie in Kansas, and take some time for ourselves to travel around. The area is beautiful, apparently. The weather in August is lovely, and there may even be snow on the Rockies.’

  ‘I may not be much good at hiking up mountains,’ Jamie protested.

  Cassie raised an eyebrow. ‘We’ll walk at your pace, or take the car. And we’ll be back in the UK in time for my poetry tour in October and November – the Guy Fawkes tour. I’m looking forward to that.’

  ‘Cassie.’ Jamie took her hand solemnly. ‘I don’t want you to invite me to go with you just because of what I said last night – that I missed you while you were away more than I can say. I won’t be baggage…’

  ‘I thought about what you said a lot too, since I came back. And you’re definitely not baggage.’

  He took a deep breath. ‘Then what am I? What am I to you?’

  ‘You’re special.’ Cassie took his face in both hands. ‘Very special. And I care – I care a lot.’

  ‘So, when we go to Denver together, what will I be there? Your housemate? Your friend? Or something more…?’

  ‘You, Jamie Anastasiou, will be wonderful. Let’s just go to Denver. Let’s have a good time. Let’s just forget about labels, about whether we are friends, partners, lovers, and let’s see what happens.’ She offered him a wink. ‘Sometimes life has a way of showing us that the people we see every day are the ones who are dearest to us, that we love the most. Like you – and like my mother.’

  She cocked her head towards Lil and Albert, who were gazing into each other’s eyes. Lil placed a small kiss on Albert’s mouth, a brush of skin against skin. Cassie t
urned to Jamie and gave him a similar peck, a warm touching of lips. ‘Let’s see where life takes us. I think we’re both going to enjoy the journey very much.’

  Jamie leaned over and took her hand, holding it to his cheek, then he raised his glass. ‘Yamas, as my dad used to say. To the journey, my dearest Cassie – to you and me, and to whatever the future brings.’

  The next morning, Lil stood in her flat, thinking. There was something she needed to do. She took a deep breath, then she was ready. She reached in her pocket for a scrap of paper, peering at the numbers that had been carefully written on it. Then she picked up the heavy receiver of her phone and dialled each one in turn. There was the sound of intermittent ringing at the other end. She waited; they’d be having breakfast.

  Then a deep voice answered. ‘Met Herman…’

  Lil caught her breath. She’d expected Marieke to answer, but she had no idea why; Herman’s voice had taken her by surprise. She faltered. ‘Herman?’

  There was a pause and then he replied, ‘Lil? It is you?’

  ‘Yes, it’s me…’

  The voice came back in her ear. ‘It is wonderful to hear from you.’

  ‘You too.’ For a moment, her resolve weakened. His tone was resonant, affectionate. Then she said, ‘I hope you’re well.’

  ‘Oh, yes,’ he replied. ‘I am working hard as ever. But now we have Pat to help us here. I hope you too are well, Lil.’

  ‘I am, very well, thank you. Herman, I wanted to say to you…’

  ‘Yes?’

  ‘I had such a lovely time with you in Belgium.’

  Herman was silent on the other end. Lil knew that he knew what was coming next. Then he simply said, ‘Yes. I had a good time too.’

  ‘Herman, Belgium is a long way away and you’re a lovely man and I’d love to come and see you again and we could be great friends and have lots of fun but…’ She took a breath.

  ‘But, just friends, Lil? Is that what you are telling me?’