Sweep in Peace

by Ilona Andrews

  “So let me get this straight,” Jack murmured. “They fly around on spaceships, but they load donkeys in them?”

  “They like donkeys,” George told him.

  The fifth donkey made its way out of the ship, loaded like all the others. My parents had hosted Nuan Cee before. I mentally patted myself on the back for assigning them enough rooms to house a party three times their number.

  “How long do they expect this to last?” Gaston whistled. “A year?”

  “They love their luxuries,” I explained. “The worst thing you can do to one of them is to force them to go without. Once we get them all inside would you mind showing them to their rooms?” I would follow behind to make sure nobody wandered off the beaten path and then I’d settle all of the donkeys into the stables.

  “No problem,” Gaston said.

  Nuan Cee finally reached us, flanked by a grey skinned woman dressed in high tech armor. Her long hair fell to below her waist in long thin dreads. Her eyes were gold and her teeth were sharp. She served as Nuan Cee’s saar ah and fighting her was a very dangerous idea.

  “Diiina!” Nuan Cee stretched the word.

  “Shhh,” I whispered. “Honorable Nuan Cee, we have a policeman watching the house outside.”

  “Oh.” Nuan Cee lowered his voice. “Right. I am so happy to visit your inn, so happy. Allow me to present to you my family.” He waves his hand-paw, and foxes lined up, with palanquin in the lead. “My grandmother, Nuan Re.” The palanquin passed by us. “My sister Nuan Kuo. My sisters’ cousin by marriage Nuan Oler. My second brother in law…”

  Five minutes later the final fox finally stepped onto my porch. “Nuan Couki, my thrice removed cousin’s seventh son!” Nuan Cee triumphantly announced. “This is his first trip.”

  The seventh son looked at us. He was barely three and a half feet tall, with pale sandy fur and huge blue eyes. He waved his paw at us, squeaked “Hi!” in a tiny voice, and dashed after the procession of Nuan Cee’s relatives into the inn.

  “Phew.” Nuan Cee wiped imaginary sweat off his brow. “I work too hard. Let us see our rooms.”

  He disappeared into the inn and I followed him.

  “Cookie?” Jack said behind me.

  “Just go with it,” George told him.

  I made it back to the porch right at eight o’clock. Dealing with Nuan Cee’s clan took longer than expected. I barely had a minute to spare. At least they didn’t make that much noise. If all went well with the vampires, we’d dodge the bullet.

  We waited in silence.

  A minute passed.

  “It’s very unusual for them to be late.” George frowned.

  My magic chimed in my mind. Oh no.

  “In front!” I dashed through the house. The men chased me. “They’re coming through the front!”

  I burst out of the front door.

  “Get down on the ground!” a male voice barked.

  In the middle of the street twelve knights of the Holy Cosmic Anocracy in full blood armor brandished their weapons. Officer Marais stood by his vehicle, pointing a taser at the leading knight.

  “I said get down on the ground!” Officer Marais roared.

  The vampire nearest to him gripped his enormous axe. Streaks of bright red shot through the weapon. He’d just primed it.

  “No!” I sprinted into the street.

  Officer Marais fired the taser. The electrode darts snapped at the vampire’s blood armor, sparking with blue.

  The vampire roared. The huge axe swung in an arc and sliced the hood of the police cruiser in a half like it was an empty coke can. For a second Officer Marais stared at it in stunned silence. His hand went to his gun.

  I couldn’t let him fire.

  Magic shot from my hand into my broom. The handle split into dozens of long filaments and shot at Officer Marais like some face-hugging monster from a horror movie. The filaments wrapped around him, binding his body into a cocoon. He spun in place and toppled onto the asphalt.

  The vampires roared in triumph.

  Chapter 5

  I spun to the vampires. I was so furious, I couldn’t even speak.

  The knight with the axe saw my face. A second later he also realized that I was wearing an innkeeper’s robe and that he had done something really, really bad.

  I marched to him. He took a few steps back, toward the inn, moving away from the car like a toddler who broke something and was now trying to distance himself from it. His foot touched the inn’s boundary. A root whipped out of the gloom, grasped the vampire, and yanked him back into the ground as if he weighed nothing. One second he was there, the next he vanished.

  I glared at the other vampires. “Pick up this car and this man,” I said, forcing the words through my teeth. “Bring them into my driveway undamaged, or I’ll reduce you to bloody spots on this pavement. Now.”

  To the right two points of light announced an approaching vehicle.

  “Move!” Arland snarled from somewhere behind the hulking vampires.

  Lord Soren, Arland’s uncle, grabbed Officer Marais and sprinted to the inn as fast as his enormous armor would allow. Two vampires grasped the cruiser, lifted it, and carried it onto the driveway. The moment the wheels touched the ground, the cruiser sank into the driveway. The ground gulped it and the car vanished. The vampires streamed into the house.

  The lights were almost on us.

  I stepped behind a tree. The house shifted, hiding the weapons. George stepped behind a different tree.

  At the door Arland barked a short command. Three remaining vampires dropped flat.

  A white truck roared by.

  I waited a couple of seconds and nodded to Arland. The knights rose and ducked into the house. George followed. I paused and surveyed the street. It lay empty.

  I waited, straining to hear any stray noises.

  No sirens, no outraged neighbors racing out of their houses to see what was happening, no shots fired. The dreary weather and the cold night on a regular old Tuesday kept the inhabitants of Avalon subdivision indoors.

  Could we have dodged a bullet?

  As an innkeeper, I had only two official duties: to safeguard my guests and to keep their existence hidden from the rest of the planet. The vampires knew this. Arland and his uncle, in particular, knew and understood this extremely well. How could they have put the inn in jeopardy?

  Cold drizzle sifted from the night sky.

  The subdivision remained silent. Somewhere in the distance a dog barked in short plaintive yips, asking to be let inside. It might have been my imagination, but I thought I heard a door swing open. The barking stopped.

  I exhaled slowly and went inside.

  The vampire delegation crowded in my front room.

  A huge knight, his hair jet black, stood chest to chest with Arland, their armor almost touching. Both had their shoulders back, legs planted, their powerful muscles flexed, ready to grip and tear at each other. Their mouths gaped open, fangs on display, their faces contorted with rage. They radiated aggression like two space heaters emitting heat. Everyone else had backed away, giving them room. They were a second away from direct violence and they were almost exactly the same size and height. It would be a bloody and terrible.

  No, uh-uh. They would not be having it out in my front room. I snapped my fingers. I didn’t really have to, but I wanted to underscore the point for the rest of the audience. The two vampires sank into the floor up to their waists. I touched my index fingers and moved them apart. The vampires slid away from each other, leaving about five feet of space between them. George walked into this space, leaning on his cane.

  “Marshall of House Krahr.” He nodded at Arland. “Marshall of House Vorga.” He nodded at the dark haired knight. His voice was light and cheerful. “Whose idea was it to come through the front door?”

  “Where is my knight?” the Marshall of House Vorga snarled.

  I sank him another six inches into the floor.

  “I demand…”

&nbs
p; Another six inches. He was almost up to his arm pits.

  The Marshall of House Vorga opened his mouth and clicked it shut.

  George turned on his heel. “Marshall of House Sabla, perhaps you would like to clear the air?”

  A female knight stepped forward. Long straight chestnut hair framed her face. “Coordinates were presented to us by the Marshall of Krahr. The Marshall of House Vorga entered them personally.”

  “Might I trouble you for those coordinates?” George asked.

  She raised her hand. A small display ignited on the inside of her wrist. Alien marks dashed across it in pale red.

  “Thank you, Lady Isur,” George said. “Let the record show that Arland of Krahr presented the correct set of coordinates to the Houses. Lord Robart, did you enter incorrect coordinates by mistake?”

  “We are the knights of the Holy Anocracy,” Lord Robart answered. “We do not slink through the back door. We do not follow the otrokar.”

  “I see,” George said. “And you’ve made this decision on your own?”

  “I am a Marshall of a Vampire House,” Lord Robart snarled. “I don’t answer to the likes of you.”

  George smiled. “Fair enough, although you have already answered my first question, so the impact of your gesture is somewhat diluted. Very well then.” He raised his hand. A scroll appeared in it as if by magic. He let it unroll. A brilliant red symbol of the Holy Pyramid blazed in the middle of it. The vampires knelt as one and I saw Caldenia sitting in a chair, sipping her cup of tea, a small amused smile bending her lips.

  “This is a Holy Writ granted to me by His Brilliance, the Hierophant,” George said.

  He had a holy writ from the religious leader of the Holy Cosmic Anocracy. Wow. He just unleashed the equivalent of a nuclear bomb.

  “This writ grants me the power of life and death over every single one of you,” George said. “I may kill any of you at any time without reason or fear of retribution. To defy me is to defy the Hierophant. Should you choose to do so, you will be excommunicated. Upon your death, your soul will be turned away from Paradise, forced to wander the lifeless icy plains of Nothing, where no sun shines upon you, no animal crosses your path, and no sound interrupts the silence. Have I made myself clear?”

  “Crystal clear,” Lady Isur said, her head still bowed.

  George rolled the scroll and slid it into his sleeve. “Rise.”

  The vampires rose.

  George looked at me. “Dina, you may release the Marshalls.”

  I let both vampire rise from the floor. Neither of them spoke. The room was absolutely silent. You could hear a pin drop. George had their complete attention.

  “This Galaxy’s interactions with Earth are governed by a Treaty of the Cosmic Senate,” George said. “Lady Dina, what is the most important provision in it?”

  “The existence of other intelligent life in the Galaxy must remain secret,” I answered.

  “What is the punishment for breaking this provision?”

  “Banishment,” I said.

  Lord Robart locked his teeth.

  “Would House Vorga suffer consequences if Lord Robart’s transgression became public?”

  “Yes. His House would be dishonored and banned from Earth.”

  A couple of vampires winced. Earth was a vital waypoint. Losing access to it meant House Vorga would be severely impaired in their travel. Other Houses would happily take advantage of that.

  “Lord Robart of House Vorga,” George said. “I don’t believe in starting these peace negotiations with blood. Nor do I feel House Vorga should suffer penalties for what was likely a transgression resulting from pride rather than malice. However, your actions nearly compromised this summit and atonement must be made for us to proceed. Lady Dina, do you recall the demonstration you provided earlier? If you could open that door one more time, please.”

  Making George angry was a really, really bad idea. I pushed with my magic. The back wall dissolved. I faced the far wall and pushed with my magic. The wood fell apart, melting into nothing, revealing the endless orange sea under the grey sky. In the distance ragged dark crags pierced the water under the broken necklace of red planets glowing gently in the sky. The salty breeze washed over us and the planet exhaled in my face.

  A body sliced through the orange water, thick, scaly, and crowned with a long ridged fin. Its coils kept going and going, sliding and coiling under the surface.

  George looked at Lord Robart. “One hour, Marshall. We will postpone formal introductions until your return.”

  The vampire raised his head.

  If he stepped into that water, his armor would be too heavy. He would be too slow. He would drown. To go into that water at all was suicide.

  Lord Robart bared his fangs.

  They wore their armor as if it were their second skin. He would never…

  Lord Robart unsheathed a short brutal axe and clasped the House crest on his armor. The black metal fractured, falling off him, leaving him standing in a plain black bodysuit. He stepped out of his boots, primed his axe with a flick of his wrist, and jumped into the water. It came up to his chest.

  “Seal the doorway, please,” George said.

  I let the wood flow back, hiding the vampire knight from view. We’d need a countdown. I murmured to the inn and a large digital clock appeared on the wall, counting the seconds down from sixty minutes.

  George turned to me. “We still have the problem of the car and the police officer.” He gave me a brilliant smile. “This is your area of expertise. The delegation of the Holy Anocracy, my people, and I are at your disposal, my lady. How would you like to handle that?”

  I turned to Arland. “Marshall, I’ll need your best engineer. The rest of you must go to your quarters.”

  “Hardwir, with me,” Arland commanded.

  An older dark haired vampire shouldered his way to the front of the group.

  “I’m coming as well,” Lady Isur announced.

  “Rest of you, through the hallway on the left. Go. Do not attempt to leave. The inn won’t permit it.”

  The majority of the knights left the room, but five of them remained behind. “We cannot abandon our marshal,” a female knight said.

  Lady Isur glanced at me. “Innkeeper?”

  “You may choose two of your number,” I told them. “You can keep watch here. If you attempt to move from this room, you will be detained.”

  The female knight and older grizzled vampire took up post by the wall. The rest went to their quarters. Caldenia still sipped her tea, looking perfectly satisfied.

  Now I had to fix this nightmare.

  “Follow me.” I started down the long hallway. The stables occupied the north-eastern corner of the house, opening into the orchard. From the outside, they would look just like a screened in porch.

  Beast darted back and forth in front of me, scampering in pure excitement. Well, at least someone was having fun.

  “I could kill him,” Lady Isur offered.

  “That would only make more problems,” Jack said.

  “Law enforcement here is very well organized,” Arland said. “If one falls, the rest converge on the area. It would make everything exceptionally difficult.”

  The door flew open in front of me and I emerged into the stables. My hands shook slightly. Too much adrenaline and too much magic expended too quickly. With the guests within the inn, I would rebound, but right now I felt jittery, as if I’d drank three cups of strong coffee on an empty stomach.

  Officer Marais lay on the floor, next to his ruined squad car, flanked on both side by the stalls. A female from Nuan Cee’s clan was quietly distributing feed to the buckets. She saw us and stopped. As I approached, the filaments slid off his body, leaving the inn’s hard roots anchoring him to the floor. The filaments streamed to me, smoothly reforming into the broom in my hand. The roots gagged Officer Marais’s mouth, but his eyes told me everything I needed to know. He was furious. If he could’ve gotten loose, he would fight
all of us for his life.

  I glanced at the car. It was even worse than I thought. The axe had gone straight through the hood, slicing through the engine like it was made of Jello. I could see the floor through the gap.

  The stables were quiet, save for the rhythmic chewing coming from the donkey camels in their stalls.

  “I can make it painless,” Lady Isur murmured. “He won’t feel a thing.”

  I held up my hand. “Give me the Last Resort.”

  The wall of the stables spat out a small syringe. I crouched by Officer Marais and injected the contents into his arm. He glared at me as if he was wishing with every fiber of his being that my head would explode. His face softened. His breathing deepened. His body went slack, his eyes closed, and he slipped into a deep sleep.

  “What did you give him?” George asked.

  “A tranquilizer.”

  “But he will still remember what happened,” Jack said.

  “It doesn’t matter,” I told him. “To be believed he will need evidence. We’re going to remove the evidence.”

  “This is it?” Lady Isur frowned. “This is the plan?”

  “Yes,” I told her. “It has worked many times for many different innkeepers. Sometimes simple plans are the best.” I turned to Arland’s engineer. “Please fix it.”

  Hardwir stared at the cruiser. “You want me to fix that?”

  “Yes. It must be restored to its original condition exactly as it was before the blow.”

  The dark-haired knight frowned, approached the cruiser, glanced through the gap and wrenched the hood up. “This is an internal combustion engine.”

  “Yes,” I agreed.

  “This is an abomination against nature.” Hardwir let go off the mangled hood. It fell, broke off, and crashed to the ground. “I won’t do it.”

  Arland’s eyes blazed. He gathered himself, somehow turning larger. “What do you mean, you won’t do it?”