The Girl from Berlin, #1

by Ellie Midwood

  He shook my hand and smiled at me, but I couldn’t help but notice that his blue eyes remained cold, like ice. I don’t know why, but I certainly didn’t feel comfortable in this man’s presence. There was something intimidating about him, well, even forgetting that he was an SS officer and was probably killing people for a living.

  Sturmbannführer Reinhard took my silence as a “yes” and continued, “You certainly gave quite a performance, Annalise, and my friends and I, as a gesture of our gratitude, would love to invite you to a formal dinner, generously sponsored by this gentleman here.”

  He nodded at the smiling, older officer standing next to him. “He got promoted yesterday and a promotion is not a real promotion without a proper celebration, am I right?”

  “I guess so…”

  “Fine! So it is all arranged. My car will be waiting for you outside the theatre. Ladies.”

  Reinhard saluted us and immediately went back to the conversation he was having with his friends. I was just about to open my mouth in protest to Sturmbannführer’s manner to give orders like that, when Frau Martha quickly squeezed my arm and dragged me behind the stage, where she put both hands on my shoulders and spoke very quietly but firmly.

  “It is a big honor to be invited by such celebrated officers, darling, and it is also very good for our theatre’s image. They are all very good friends with those moneybags who will invest in anything they tell them to invest in, so make sure you are as charming as you can possibly be. A couple of more girls, from the company, they liked, are going with you, so it is very important for you to make a good impression.”

  “But I’m not even dressed for a formal dinner!” I finally interrupted her speech and, desperately trying to get out of the whole situation I had no idea how I gotten involved in, continued, “Besides my family is waiting for me outside and I didn’t even have time to talk to them after the show. They will be going crazy if I just take off like that and go to some party where I don’t even know anybody.”

  “I will take care of that, darling. I’ll tell your parents that you’re being taken care of and that they shouldn’t worry. Now, you do understand that an invitation from a high ranking SS officer is pretty much… mandatory, don’t you?”

  I won’t lie, the idea of sneaking out of the back exit and catching a bus home occurred to me several times while I was changing my clothes in the dressing room, but all the trouble I could get into with Frau Martha, definitely outweighed the little dinner I just probably had to suffer through and never think of again. Besides, it was just a dinner, and the girls who were supposed to join me as well seemed to be very excited about it.

  As I was exiting the theatre, I immediately spotted the shiny black Mercedes with Sturmbannführer Reinhard leaning on it and smoking. But just as I started going down the steps, I heard a familiar voice calling my name.

  “Annalise!”

  “Oh, hi, Adam.” I couldn’t believe that he was waiting for me in the same spot he always did, even though I told him earlier that my father was going to pick me up. “What are you doing here?”

  “I just wanted to make sure that you got into your father’s car safely. A lot of people are out tonight.”

  “Oh, Adam…” Looking into his big eyes I didn’t even know how to say that I was going to a dinner with an SS officer. “I’m not going home yet. I was invited to a dinner, and I couldn’t really say no.”

  “What dinner?” He looked concerned. I felt even more guilt taking over, but now it was mixed with an uneasy feeling that Officer Reinhard saw me and was now staring at us. I waved at him.

  “With that man. One of his friends got promoted and… well, they wanted me to celebrate with them.”

  Adam was now looking at me with something between disbelief and even deeper concern. Finally, he whispered to me, “He’s a Nazi, Annalise… An SS…”

  “I know, Adam, it was hard not to notice the uniform. I’m sorry, I really have to go. I’ll see you tomorrow, right?”

  Adam just slowly nodded and didn’t hug me goodbye like he always used to, as if not to get me in trouble.

  “Be careful, please.”

  “I will.”

  I ran down the stairs and got into the black Mercedes, after Officer Reinhard’s driver courteously held the door for me. Sturmbannführer Reinhard got inside after me.

  “Is that boy your dancing partner?”

  “Yes, he is. And also he’s our neighbor.”

  “A talented young man. What’s his name?”

  “Adam. Adam Kramer.”

  “Jewish?”

  I looked him in the eye for the first time since we got in the car. He wasn’t smiling this time.

  “Why?”

  “Just asking. He was waiting for you outside.”

  “He always takes me home after rehearsals.”

  “You’re not dating him, are you?”

  “No, he’s just a friend.”

  “Good. It’s a shame when pretty Aryan girls make a fatal mistake of getting married to Jews. However, soon it will change.”

  My heart was pounding so loud that I was afraid that Sturmbannführer Reinhard would hear it. I was physically scared of this man. But the first thing I had to do was to distract Officer Reinhard from the ongoing interrogation he had with me.

  “So, Sturmbannführer Reinhard, how often do you go to ballet? It’s so nice to see that our brave officers have in mind not only war, but also the beauty of art.”

  He gave me a long look but finally answered, “We aren’t at war with anybody yet, my dear. And please, call me Ulrich.”

  I’ve never seen so many SS officers in one room. They were everywhere, sitting at the tables, dancing with their ladies, smoking at the bar, and all their black uniforms made it look like one big funeral in spite of the celebratory mood they all were in. Except for several girls from my company, who jumped right in the middle of the party, I didn’t know a single person. The food was delicious, but I was too exhausted and nervous to enjoy it.

  Officer Reinhard had to make his rounds, so he didn’t bother me too much throughout the dinner, and I thanked God a million times for that. He was coming back to me from time to time and pouring more champagne into my glass. A couple of hours later, when everybody seemed to be quite drunk and my fellow dancers were happily sitting on some officers’ laps, I started thinking that it was time to go home. When I finally found my “date” and asked him if I could catch a bus somewhere near, I was very surprised to notice that he appeared to be completely sober. I caught myself thinking that I actually didn’t see him drink at all.

  “Don’t be silly, my dear, I always take care of my ladies. I’ll take you home myself.”

  He quickly grabbed his coat and walked me out of the restaurant without even saying goodbye to anyone.

  “Won’t your friends be mad at you for leaving them like that?”

  “They won’t even remember if I was at the party at all tomorrow, my dear.”

  He helped me to get into his car and asked for my address. One more reason I wanted to take a bus; I would really hate for him to know where I lived. But once again, with this man next to me, I didn’t really have a choice. He was surprisingly nice for the rest of the ride, asking me about my ballet practice, my family, and my friends. When we finally pulled up to my house, he walked me to my door and said, “I apologize that tonight I couldn’t pay as much attention to you as I wanted to, Annalise. Please, allow me to make it up to you by taking you to dinner once again. You don’t have any shows on Monday, do you?”

  “No…”

  “Fine then. I’ll pick you up at six.”

  He quickly saluted me and went back to his car without looking back. I was still standing at my door, speechless. No wonder Ulrich Reinhard was so young and already a Sturmbannführer. He definitely knew how to give orders that people were afraid not to follow.

  As I found out later during our next “date,” Reinhard used that commanding tone with everybody and not just
with me. I figured that all the power he obtained from his rank and position at such a young age definitely went to his head, making him absolutely impossible to talk to, at least in the civilized manner.

  “The pork chops in this place are the best in Berlin, you have to try them.” With those words he told the waiter to bring us two portions without even asking me what I wanted. I thought of mentioning that I didn’t eat pork, but didn’t, afraid that it would raise certain questions. As Reinhard was talking – he liked talking a lot, especially about the deportation of Jews, which he was handling recently – I managed to swallow a piece of pork trying not to look too disgusted. But when he, with heartless cruelty, started discussing different methods of execution and comparing their advantages and disadvantages, I pushed the plate away and realized that I was done with food.

  Every minute in Reinhard’s company dragged like an hour, and I started to feel more and more resentment toward him, especially when he pulled me too close during the dance and started saying something sleazy about my “pretty lips” and asking if all ballerinas had legs like mine. I stopped him abruptly by saying that it was an absolutely inappropriate topic of conversation, to which he just laughed and said that he wasn’t afraid of challenges, whatever that meant.

  Chapter Three

  My father was not happy with me. After several more of my late nights that I spent with Sturmbannführer Reinhard, we were having breakfast in silence, which was very unusual for our chit-chat loving family. The only interruptions to the silence was Gryselda, offering my father more coffee and my mother asking Norbert to pass the salt. I finally couldn’t take it anymore and loudly put down my fork.

  “What’s going on? We don’t talk to each other anymore?”

  My mother gave my father an uneasy look. He just sighed and also put down his fork and wiped his mouth with a napkin; I knew right away, “the talk” was coming.

  “Süße, we’re all just a little… concerned about your… friendship with that man.”

  “Well, Papa, you weren’t happy about me being friends with a nice Jewish boy, so I became friends with a merciless SS officer. I really don’t see why you aren’t happy about it.”

  I didn’t mean to sound so sarcastic, but it somehow came out that way.

  “Annalise, you’re taking it too far. I never said that you shouldn’t be friends with Adam, I just advised you to be careful about it. And as for Reinhard, you have no idea how right you are by calling him merciless. He got his last promotion for ordering and partially personally executing the mass murder of hundreds of political prisoners and other… what do they call them, ‘unfit’ people somewhere in the south of the country. I really don’t understand what you’re thinking by accepting his invitations.”

  “If you know him so well, answer me please, do I really have a choice?”

  “You always have a choice, Süße.”

  “Really? Good! You go tell him that!”

  I threw my napkin on the table and almost ran out of the dining room. If my own family refused to understand what was going on and blamed it all on me, I had no idea how I was going to get out of all this. The only thing that was consoling me on my way to the theatre was the thought of seeing Adam; he was the one who I could always rely on and who would at least listen to me without judging.

  To my big surprise, I couldn’t find him anywhere and when I questioned what had happened to my dancing partner, one of the male dancers widened his eyes at me and whispered, “Haven’t you heard? They were all dismissed!”

  “Who’s ‘they?’”

  “The Jews!”

  After that he just shook his head and left me standing there in shock. That couldn’t be! Half of our company was Jewish. Half of the orchestra was Jewish! How on Earth could they do that?

  Still in disbelief, I went straight to the main rehearsal room where we always used to practice our morning routine. I hadn’t even changed my clothes yet; all I wanted was to see Frau Martha and confront her personally about what was going on. As soon as I opened the door, I saw her speaking to a group of dancers gathered around her. This time her voice was much lower than it always was. She noticed me and gestured me to come closer.

  “Ah, Annalise, good, come in here, we were just discussing some changes the theatre will have to undergo.”

  “Is it true…” I couldn’t even finish the sentence, but she seemed to understand what I was going to say and lowered her eyes.

  “I’m afraid it is, darling. Unfortunately, despite all the gratitude and warm feelings we have for our fellow dancers, some of them had to be let go. It was not my decision, I am just following the instructions given by our Minister of Propaganda, Herr Goebbels. And according to the new law, dancers of the Jewish origin cannot perform together with the German ones.”

  “But half of our company was Jewish!”

  “I know, darling, and it’s sad to see them go. It’s not just Berlin, this is happening all over the country. There’s really nothing we can do.”

  One more girl finally broke the silence and took my side, unlike the rest of the group that just stood there, quietly looking at the floor.

  “But how are we going to dance now? We’ve lost half of our great performers. And what about Susanne? She was a prima-ballerina… who’s going to replace her?”

  “First of all, her name was Shoshanna, not Susanne.” Gretchen, another soloist who I never liked mostly because she reminded me too much of a snake – very cold, sneaky and with a poisonous tongue – joined our conversation. “And second, now we’re going to have a German prima-ballerina, and personally I think this is great. I mean, every single girl here would absolutely love to take her place, am I right?”

  “Not like that! That’s just not fair!” I was looking at Gretchen still unable to believe what I’d just heard. We were all like a family and now she’s being so happy about half of the family being gone?

  “Why are you so concerned about them anyway?”

  “I’ve just lost the best dancing partner and my good friend! And half of the company is sharing my feelings, I’m sure, they’re just afraid to say so.”

  “Oh, I’m sorry, little Fräulein Innocence! Do you know what I think? I think that they all got fired because your German boyfriend number one didn’t like your Jewish boyfriend number two, so… he took some measures.”

  A couple of the girls actually giggled at Gretchen’s “funny joke” while I felt a burning desire to smack her on the head right there. Instead, I just shook my head in disbelief and said, “How can you be so evil, Gretchen?”

  “I’d rather be evil than a Jew-lover.”

  “Enough, girls!!!” Frau Martha finally used her powerful voice and took control of the situation. “We all have to concentrate on what keeps us together and not what stands between us. And the thing that unites us all is ballet. So all the soloists will meet me in half an hour in room number four. We’ll have an audition for the part of Susanne. We’ll also have to fill in the free spots we have now, so it’s going to be a long day. Go change, and I’ll see you all in a little bit.”

  “I’m so sorry, Adam.” After an exhausting (more mentally than physically) day at the theatre I stopped by Dr. Kramer’s house to see my friend. His father was still at work and we were having tea, waiting for him to come back. “What are you planning to do now?”

  “Well, my father thinks that I should go to Switzerland and from there to New York. They have a lot of theatres there, and he’s sure I’ll get a spot, at least somewhere. But the real reason is that he doesn’t want me to stay in Berlin anymore. He doesn’t think it’s safe, you know?”

  “I understand.” I looked down at my cup. I didn’t want to lose my best friend, but Dr. Kramer was certainly right – it wasn’t safe here for Adam anymore. “So, have you decided on the date? I mean, when are you leaving?”

  “To be honest, I haven’t decided yet if I should leave. I don’t want to leave my father here alone, and I’m pretty much the only family he ha
s, at least in Berlin.”

  “But what are you going to do then? I mean, ballet was your only profession…”

  “I can still help him with the practice. After all these years I’m as good as a real doctor, just without a diploma. And besides, if I leave, who’s going to take care of you and your feet?”

  His warm smile quickly turned into a sad one, and I guessed that Adam probably thought about my “German boyfriend number one.” But he still took my hand in his and squeezed it tightly.

  “I don’t want anything to happen to you, Annalise.”

  “You should be worried about yourself, Adam, not about me. I’ll be fine.”

  He looked me straight in the eyes and suddenly got very serious.

  “You know what those Nazis see in women, Annalise? They don’t see your beautiful soul or how much fun you are or what a great friend you can be. All they see is the breeding material: blonde hair, blue eyes, fair skin, athletic abilities… All they care about is reproducing a ‘pure’ Aryan offspring. I read what that Goebbels wrote: they want to breed humans like dogs. I just… I hope you won’t ever be a part of it.”

  After a moment of contemplation, I smiled at Adam’s sad eyes and said, “Well, if they want a purebred German, they’re in for a big surprise. Because even though I look like one, I am anything ‘but.’”

  He looked very confused.

  “What are you talking about?”

  “Swear not to tell anybody, ever?”

  “I swear.”

  “I’m an Ashkenazi Jew, Adam.”

  After a moment of silence, my obviously shocked friend finally regained control of his voice.

  “Is that supposed to be a joke?”

  “No, it’s absolutely not. My great-grandparents immigrated to Germany after the Polish government seized all their assets. They decided not to make the same mistake twice, quickly converted to Christianity, and paid someone big money to falsify their documents. That’s how we became Meissners. ‘Multi-generational, purebred’ Germans.”