The Girl from Berlin, #1

by Ellie Midwood

  “I’m sorry, Officer Friedmann, I didn’t mean to…” I was looking at the floor, realizing that I was probably blushing, and he most definitely could see it. “I really don’t know how to thank you enough.”

  “That’s absolutely fine, Annalise. And please, call me Heinrich. I’m only thirty-eight, not eighty.”

  “Thank you, Heinrich.”

  “You are most certainly welcome.”

  “Where did you get it from, though?”

  “From the forest, of course. I was hunting all night. And if you didn’t like it I would have been absolutely devastated because those creatures it’s made of are very hard to kill.”

  He said it with such a serious expression that if I was eleven again I would have probably believed him. But I was seventeen, so I just laughed and shook my head.

  “But seriously, though? I know how expensive this must be.”

  “Let’s say a friend returned me a favor.” Another evasive answer. What did I expect anyway? He’s a spy after all and lies for a living.

  “Must have been a big favor.”

  “Let’s just say he still owes me.”

  He gave me another grin of his, and I realized that I probably would never receive the real answer to my question. But who cares? I have a new fur coat!

  “Are you still in the mood for a coffee?” Even though I hated to take off my gorgeous birthday present, it was so warm that I’d already started to sweat.

  “Sure, why not? I still have about an hour till my next meeting, and it’s going to be a boring one, so… a cup of coffee is just what I need.”

  Even though I insisted that Heinrich should stay in the living room while I serve a little lunch for him, he still followed me to the kitchen, I guess to make sure that I had everything under control (I didn’t). So he brewed the fresh coffee for the both of us and also quickly disarmed me from a huge knife after I almost chopped off my finger trying to cut some cheese for the sandwiches. Finally, after observing my fruitless attempts to find cream in the fridge, Officer Friedmann chuckled. “You don’t spend much time here, do you?”

  “Why, you can tell?”

  “Pretty much.”

  “We have a housekeeper. And my strong side is serving, not cooking.”

  With those words I proudly organized in the perfect order coffee cups, creamer, sugar, plates, and silverware wrapped in napkins on a big silver tray and gave Heinrich a look saying “See? I’m not that helpless!” He just shook his head, still laughing, picked up the tray from the table, and headed to the living room. I (such a great host!) had nothing left to do but follow my guest.

  “You know, you should practice more in the kitchen if you don’t want to starve your future husband to death.”

  Heinrich was consuming the sandwich that I made, with some appetite, even though all the ingredients were more than unevenly cut and were hanging off the bread in the most disturbing manner. I took a delicate bite off the one that he made, sliced so perfectly as if he used a damn ruler while making it.

  “Why are you so concerned about my future husband?”

  “Just feel bad for the poor fellow!”

  “He’ll marry a girl, not a chef! He’s going to have to afford a housekeeper!”

  “What if you marry a military man and the war starts, and you’ll have to follow him some place where there won’t be any housekeepers?”

  “I highly doubt that I’ll marry a military man. After one of them almost split my skull in two on a concrete wall, I’m not too fond of people in uniform, if you know what I mean.”

  “Hey! I’m wearing a uniform too! Am I in the category of the skull-splitting bastards as well?”

  I couldn’t help but laugh at his fake “upset” facial expression.

  “No, you’re… you’re different. You’re… how is it called? Intelligence service or something.” My natural curiosity took over, and I asked a question that was bothering me for a long time. “What is it that you actually do? Spy on people?”

  Heinrich took another sip from his cup, leaned forward, and looked me straight in the eyes. I could tell why, according to my father, he occupied such a high position at his “job”: under the piercing gaze of his intelligent, hypnotizing dark brown eyes I felt absolutely unable to hide anything at all. If he suddenly asked me if I was Jewish, I would have probably answered “yes” without even thinking, even if it meant my imminent death.

  “I can tell you what I do in every single detail.” He paused, I guess for the dramatic effect, and then continued, still looking very serious, “But after that I’m afraid I would have to kill you.”

  I decided to play along.

  “And how exactly would you kill me, Officer Friedmann?”

  “I would make you take a cyanide capsule I carry with me all the time.”

  “Is that so?”

  “You don’t believe me?”

  “Not really, big scary SD Officer Friedmann. Sorry, but to me you don’t look intimidating at all.”

  He squinted his eyes at me as if making up his mind, then quickly, in a movement that I couldn’t even grasp, reached for his belt and in a second produced a little white caplet that looked like my mother’s pills for migraine.

  “What’s that?” I tried to reach for the tiny caplet, but Heinrich wouldn’t allow me to touch it.

  “What do you think it is? Cyanide.”

  I was still looking at it in disbelief as I always thought that poison belonged in spy stories and books, not in real life.

  “Why are you carrying it on you then? You have a gun, isn’t it easier to shoot somebody instead of trying to shove this pill in their mouth?”

  “You’re such an innocent, adorable little thing, I swear!” Heinrich was laughing at me again, but this time I was confused about the reason. “It’s not for my enemies. This capsule is for me. Every single officer of the German army of a high rank carries this little thing on him all the time. It’s mandatory.”

  “I still don’t quite get it…”

  “It’s an emergency thing. I work for SD, Annalise, and all that information in my head is worth a lot. If for some reason I get captured and disarmed, this is the only way I’ll be able to instantly kill myself so the enemy can’t interrogate me.”

  “You would do that?” I couldn’t believe that someone would voluntarily take their own life, no matter what the circumstances.

  “I would have to. This is my duty as an officer. I swore to that.” He put away the deadly little pill back to the secret spot on his belt (I still couldn’t make out where) and finished his coffee. “Don’t look so serious, little lady, it’s just a precaution and I can assure you, I have no intention of being captured in the near future. Besides, it’s all your fault, you provoked me to show it to you!”

  He had just held poison in his hand and now was joking as if nothing had happened. I swear to God; this man is something else! After I walked him to the door, he thanked me for the lunch and promised to come and see my performance later that evening. That and my new coat, still laying on a table in the hallway, doubled my already good mood. I couldn’t resist to give my silver fox another look, and for a second turned my head away from Officer Friedmann, which was a big mistake: before I even realized it, I bared my bruised neck enough for him to see it (even though I did a pretty good job powdering it this morning). In one swift move he picked up my chin and started to closely inspect my “injuries.”

  “Reinhard did it to you?”

  “Yes.”

  His face was so close to mine that for a second I forgot how to breathe. I didn’t know why this man’s presence had such an overpowering effect on me, but whatever it was, I didn’t want this moment to end. He gently turned my head from one side to the other, and I couldn’t help but notice how his jawline hardened as he pressed his teeth together. That was definitely not a happy Officer Friedmann face.

  “You poor thing. Don’t worry about that bastard, he’ll never touch you again.”

  With t
hose words he quickly turned around and disappeared behind the door, leaving a slight scent of perfume and leather lingering in the room.

  It was snowing that night. First snow, pure and white, was slowly covering the ground as I was watching it from the window in the library. Tonight Heinrich was supposed to take me to see a play in the local theatre, and I was so excited about this unofficial “date” that I got ready two hours earlier than he was supposed to pick me up. My mother just shook her head when she saw my red lipstick and a touch of mascara on my lashes, and crossed her arms over her chest.

  “Süße, you know that I love Heinrich, but I honestly don’t think that going out with him is such a good idea.”

  “I’m not ‘going out’ with him. He’s just taking his friend’s daughter to the theatre, what’s wrong with that?”

  “He’s not ‘just’ taking his friend’s daughter to the theatre. He also escorts her to work and back every day and gives her unacceptably expensive presents.”

  “He only escorts me to work when he has time, mostly he just sends his driver to pick me up, and all that is just for my safety, that’s all. And ‘the presents’ should be singular, not plural, he gave me one coat, and I think it was very sweet and thoughtful of him. Besides, if his wife finds it innocent enough to let him do all that, why are you so concerned all of a sudden?”

  For a moment my mother went silent and then asked, “He didn’t tell you?”

  “What?”

  “His wife has been dead for two years, Süße.”

  “What? Why? What happened to her?”

  “Well, I didn’t get into details since it’s such a delicate matter… All I know is that she shot herself.”

  “Oh my God, that’s awful!”

  “It is. Well, anyway, now that you know that he has no wife, you think again if you’re doing the right thing.”

  The news caught me by surprise to say the least and made my previous plan of curling up with a book and a cup of hot cocoa impossible, so I was just looking out the window and thinking. I was a horrible, horrible person, because instead of feeling bad for the poor former Frau Friedmann, I was feeling almost happy for the present Fräulein Meissner. While I was trying to analyze what was wrong with me, if I felt good about somebody’s death, the commotion in the hallway got my attention. I heard my parents’ voices and realized that we had a visitor. It was still too early for Heinrich, so I got curious as to what was going on and headed to the hallway. To my great surprise the unexpected visitor was Dr. Kramer, who was standing by the door with a suitcase.

  “Doctor Kramer! What a pleasant surprise! It’s so good to see you!”

  I ran toward him and gave him a tight hug. Normally nobody greeted him this way, not even my mother, mostly out of respect to his profession, but I was still in the position of being the youngest patient in this family, so I didn’t want to drop this habit so easily. Besides, he always used to feed me candies when I was smaller and children remember such nice treatment, for a long time.

  “Good evening, Annalise! You look more beautiful every day I see you. All grown up now.”

  “Thank you, Dr. Kramer. Are you having dinner with my parents?”

  “No, sweetheart, I’m afraid I just stopped by to say goodbye.” I couldn’t help but notice how our doctor had changed over the past year, how all of a sudden from a healthy, always smiling, always knowing what to do therapist with a sharp mind and skillful hands, he’d became very old and tired. “At first I didn’t want to, you know, not to cause you any trouble, but then I thought that after all these years it would be impolite.”

  “And we appreciate it, doc.” My father patted Dr. Kramer slightly on his shoulder and gave him his warmest smile. “Let’s maybe have some tea before you go? You still have time before your train leaves, right?”

  “Please, stay a little bit longer.” My mother had already made a sign for Gryselda to make some tea, and Dr. Kramer couldn’t refuse the two of them.

  “Just for a little bit. I don’t want you to have any problems because of me.”

  “But where are you going?” I followed my parents and our guest to the dining room, still unable to believe that another friend of ours was leaving us.

  “I’m going to New York and will try to find Adam. After the Nazis issued that Decree,” ‘Decree of the Elimination of the Jews from Economic Life,’ as I learned later from the papers, which basically banned Jews from owning or running any businesses or carry on a trade. “And made us sell whatever we owned for practically nothing, there’s nothing left for me to do here. I wanted to stay in order to help my patients, but most of them have either fled the country or are in camps now. They took my practice, they made me sign over my house to them… I can’t let them take my life too, my son needs me.”

  In the moment of silence that followed, interrupted only by Gryselda’s noise in the kitchen and Milo chewing on a bone, I knew exactly what my parents were thinking. Just like me, they probably felt an immense wave of guilt taking over as they were absolutely no different than Dr. Kramer, except for having a long time ago, falsified a German name, and still they were getting away with what ruined their friend’s life and career. They were Jewish, just like him, and meanwhile were still sitting at this huge redwood dining table, in a huge five-bedroom house with a German housekeeper serving them tea from the finest china my father could afford. Dr. Kramer’s only possession was a little suitcase in the hallway and a hope that the Nazis wouldn’t take away all his money and let him through the border.

  “This is so unfair.” I didn’t realize that I actually pronounced my last thought, but Dr. Kramer seemed to be grateful to me for saying that.

  “Life itself is not fair, sweetheart. But I had good times here too for the most part, it’s just people… they got confused. They don’t know what they’re doing. And after they get themselves too deep into all this, it’s going to be too late for them. There will be nothing left except for the military all over the country. Nobody will be trusted. The Gestapo everywhere, neighbors suspicious of neighbors… and as for Hitler’s ambitions of world domination, I’ll tell you that he’s trying to take a bite more that he can swallow. Eventually, it’ll make him choke.”

  I was listening to him as if he was a Biblical prophet, and I had no idea how right he was about just about everything. I really hated to see him go, so I tried to absorb and remember every word he was saying, tried to imprint him in my memory forever, because I couldn’t be sure if I was ever going to see him again. Norbert, who came back home not too long ago from his football practice, was especially quiet, for the most part just looking at his tea and not knowing what to say. He always had a special bond with Dr. Kramer, I guess just like all the patients have with doctors who saved their lives. I started to think about how many German lives were saved like that by Jewish doctors, and now all these Germans were sending their saviors out of the country, or even worse – to the camps, which seemed to grow like mushrooms after a rainy day, all over the country.

  A doorbell interrupted my thoughts, and I realized that it was probably Officer Friedmann. I quickly jumped from my seat and ran to the hallway, a little anxious about his reaction to our guest. Maybe I shall just grab my coat and quickly make him take me to the car before he notices our company? Even though I’d never heard him say anything anti-Semitic, he was still a Standartenführer of the Secret Service, and who knew what kind of problems it would mean for our poor doctor.

  However, all my plans were ruined right away by Heinrich’s single phrase.

  “Is someone going away on vacation?”

  He gave a slight nod to Dr. Kramer’s suitcase, carelessly left by us in plain sight in the middle of the hallway.

  “No… that’s our friend’s suitcase. Actually he’s our family doctor. He used to be… he stopped by to say goodbye before he leaves.”

  “Jewish?”

  I tried to recognize how this Standartenführer of the SD accepted this news, by his tone and, not sensin
g any visible hostility, nodded.

  “He’s a very good man and almost like a family member. Except for the past couple of years when he had to stop coming over because our neighbors started to ask questions.”

  I thought that it would be better to stop talking before I made any possible trouble, but the inquisitive gaze of his smart eyes and a reassuring nod made me even more talkative.

  “He was always so kind to me, my family always adored him, he even saved Norbert’s life when he got a bad pneumonia and doctors in the hospital said they weren’t able to help him. I’m so upset about him leaving the country, so I was hoping to spend just fifteen more minutes with him if that’s all right…”

  “I understand. I can wait in the car if you don’t want me to embarrass your friend.”

  I didn’t expect that answer, that’s for sure. I knew that I was probably pushing my luck, but still decided to make another little step on a mine field.

  “Maybe you would like to have some tea with us?”

  To my big relief, Heinrich smiled.

  “That would be lovely, Annalise.”

  However, as soon as I walked the tall and pretty intimidating looking, in his uniform, SD officer through the door, poor Dr. Kramer completely changed in his face and slowly rose from his chair, pale as a ghost. I knew that I had to do something right away before our poor doctor had a heart attack.

  “Officer Friedmann, allow me to introduce our good friend and a very talented doctor, Dr. Kramer. Dr. Kramer, this is also our good family friend, Standartenführer Friedmann.”

  To everyone’s surprise, Heinrich walked right toward Dr. Kramer and extended his hand.

  “Pleasure to meet you, Dr. Kramer.”

  Dr. Kramer seemed to be very confused by such an unexpected gesture, especially coming from an SD officer of a high rank. Slowly, he also extended his hand and the two men exchanged a handshake.

  “Herr Standartenführer…”

  “This family certainly works both sides of the tracks, don’t you think?” Heinrich winked at the doctor and slightly patted him on the shoulder. “Not every day you see a German lawyer having tea with a Jewish doctor, who shakes hands with an SD officer, who later takes that lawyer’s daughter (who is a ballerina) to see a play. I beg my pardon for everyone I missed out.”