The Girl from Berlin, #1

by Ellie Midwood

  “I can’t confess to something I’m not guilty of. I never deceived anyone. I’m Aryan.”

  “Well, I guess it won’t be over as easy as I thought. All right, you made your choice.” I could see his jaw line harden as he shut the file closed. “You’re very lucky, Frau Friedmann, do you know why?”

  I just kept staring at him, afraid to breathe. He’s not going to torture me, is he? I’m an officer’s wife, and it’s against the law!

  “The most famous interrogator in Germany paid us a visit today and no one, I mean, no one, has ever kept silent for more than twenty minutes with him. Personally I would choose an execution any time over him ‘questioning’ me, if you know what I mean.” He was watching my reaction closely. I didn’t know if it was a psychological trick to make me speak or was he really telling the truth. Whatever it was, I couldn’t squeeze another word out of myself. “I had the honor to watch him ‘working’ with one of the suspects, and to tell you the truth, the hair on the back of my neck stood up, and I’ve seen a lot of things in my life.”

  I clenched my teeth so they wouldn’t shudder. My heart was beating so fast that it was ready to jump out of my chest. Maybe God will feel bad for me, and I’ll die of a heart attack? Meanwhile, the man took out his pen and moved a sheet of paper next to me.

  “Last chance, Frau Friedmann. You’re an officer’s wife, and I feel bad for you. You’re a woman, after all, what are you hoping for? You won’t be able to tolerate the pain, feel sorry for yourself. The result will be the same, you’ll still go to the camp, but either healthy or… make a choice.”

  I looked at the paper, back at the man… and shook my head. He pursed his lips and shrugged.

  “Well, I tried, Frau Friedmann. I tried.”

  He picked up the file and knocked on the door so the guards on the outside would open it. He walked out without even looking at me. I was left alone and hopeless.

  I couldn’t possibly know how much time passed since the man left, but the longer I sat there, the more terrible pictures of what was going on with the prisoners of the Gestapo jails were flashing in front of my eyes. I was feeling trapped in that room and suffocating with fear. But after I started to hear muffled screams from behind the door, I finally broke down and started crying. I wanted to go home so bad, home to my parents, to my dog, to the safety of my husband’s arms. I ruined it all, and now I was going to die.

  More time passed, and I started to feel exhausted. My tears had dried and my breathing slowed down. Have they forgotten about me? I didn’t even care anymore. I was too tired to keep jumping at every sound behind the door and just froze in my chair, still hugging myself with both hands, feeling absolutely desperate. The screams behind the door had stopped a long time ago, and I started to hope that everyone had left for the night. But that hope soon disappeared when I heard loud voices behind the door and the sound of my door unlocking.

  All the fear returned right away and tripled. I expected my torturer and executor to walk in any second, and just the thought of what he could possibly do to me made me break into a cold sweat. I started shivering uncontrollably, staring at the door without blinking. I dug my fingernails into my skin, still holding myself, the last means of my protection.

  The door swung open and first walked in the man who was interrogating me before. After him followed another one, and as he entered, the room itself seemed to become smaller in size. I immediately recognized him. SS Gruppenführer Dr. Kaltenbrunner. He looked at me with a mixed feeling of surprise and concern, but didn’t say anything.

  “Herr Gruppenführer, you read the file, it’s all there, but she’s still being stubborn. I offered her the opportunity to sign a confession, but she refused. So… whatever you want to do.”

  Dr. Kaltenbrunner just slowly nodded, took the file from the man’s hands, and threw it on the table.

  “That’ll be all, Kuntz. Leave us.”

  “But I thought you wanted me to be present at the interrogation so later I would be able to perform the suggested…”

  “I said. That’ll be all.”

  Dr. Kaltenbrunner’s stern voice made Kuntz gulp nervously, after that he just bowed his head to one side and walked out of the door, closing it behind him. I never knew I would think that, but I wished he would have stayed. Meanwhile “the most famous interrogator in Germany” took out his cigarette case, lit up one, and took a long drag.

  “I didn’t expect us to meet again so soon, Frau Friedmann.”

  He was speaking so calmly as if we met at some soirée and not the Gestapo jail. I wasn’t even breathing anymore. I became a tight ball of nerves, terrified to even blink. I was dreading his first move.

  “Why are you shivering? Are you cold or are you scared?”

  “Both,” I hardly whispered after a pause.

  He put away his cigarette, slowly removed his service dagger, and put it on the table. His gun followed. When he started unbuttoning his uniform, I pressed even harder into the chair as if it would help me. What is he going to do to me? When he moved behind my back I shut my eyes tight, expecting a punch or something worse. All of a sudden something heavy fell on my shoulders, and I felt immediately wrapped in something warm and smelling of cologne and cigarettes. I opened my eyes. He’d put his uniform jacket on me. I wasn’t sure what to do next.

  Meanwhile Dr. Kaltenbrunner sat on the table inches away from me and gave me a reassuring smile.

  “That’s better, huh? It can be chilly down here.”

  “Yes,” I whispered. A little relieved by his so far non-hostile behavior, I gratefully wrapped myself in his jacket that was like a blanket for me. I almost forgot how big and muscular this man was.

  “So what’s the story with the Jewish Star?”

  I took a deep breath and started talking.

  “First of all, I’m not Jewish. I’m Aryan. Second, I’ve never even owned a Star of David, let alone wore it in public. I would be crazy to do something like that, even if I was really Jewish, don’t you think?”

  He slightly tilted his head to one side.

  “That’s funny. That’s exactly what I told Kuntz. Who in their right mind, especially if they’re in hiding, would wear their religious symbol on their neck? But still, why would that girl, what’s her name, make a whole scene? False accusations can bring her to jail, you know?”

  “She did tear a necklace from my neck.” I started very carefully. “But it was the necklace that my husband gave me a long time ago. Earlier that morning our prima-ballerina Giselle announced that she was expecting and asked for our choreographer to make me her substitute for the time of her absence. Gretchen, she’s a little older than me and worked for the company longer, so she always felt as if I was taking over her rightful place. And this time I guess she just got angry and confronted me in the bathroom. She started screaming and getting into my face, I didn’t want to fight and tried to leave, but when I was passing by her she grabbed my necklace and tore it from my neck. I pushed her off me, and she hit the mirror wall and then I took my necklace back from her and ran away before she could attack me again. I heard her screaming something about me being Jewish behind my back, but I didn’t know what exactly she was saying.”

  “Is there any chance I can see that necklace?”

  I thought it through while still at home, and now I was happy I did. I put my hand into the pocket in my dress and took out the little golden necklace with a pointe shoes pendant on it.

  “I was just trying to fix it when the Gestapo came.”

  I stretched my hand with an open palm to Gruppenführer Kaltenbrunner, and he picked up the necklace from it. I noticed that he had very aristocratic hands. It was hard to believe that he could possibly torture anybody with these hands. At least I wanted to believe that he didn’t.

  “This little thing certainly doesn’t look like a Jewish Star to me, and I’ve seen a lot of them.” He grinned at me. I shyly smiled back. “So let me get this straight. That girl gets jealous of your recent ‘prom
otion,’ attacks you and, trying to get rid of the competition, calls the Gestapo accusing you of falsifying your identity?”

  I couldn’t have said it better. However, I was still trying to be very careful with every single word I was saying, trying to persuade my interrogator the best I could.

  “Herr Gruppenführer, I couldn’t possibly falsify my documents. They were checked before my wedding by the office staff of Reichsführer Himmler himself, and they would have definitely known the fake ones from the real ones. I was trying to explain it to that man who was here first, but he refused to listen to me.”

  “I absolutely agree with you. You can’t be a Jew.” He gently lifted my chin and looked closely at my face. I froze for a second. “You have the most perfect Aryan features I’ve ever seen.”

  Dr. Kaltenbrunner picked up a strand of my hair, looked at it, and brushed it off my face. I didn’t move; he could touch me all he wanted as long as he wasn’t beating me up.

  “You’re even a natural blonde. Jews don’t look like that.” He lit up another cigarette and suddenly asked me after a pause, “And what’s the story with your Jewish boyfriend anyway?”

  “Jewish boyfriend?” Now I was really puzzled. “I never had a Jewish boyfriend. In fact, my first boyfriend became my husband.”

  Gruppenführer Kaltenbrunner just nodded several times and started going through the papers in my file. Finally, he fished out one of the papers.

  “Here it is. Adam Kramer? Who’s that?”

  “Oh, Adam!” If I had any doubts before, now I knew for sure who the SS officer was, who put all that stuff in my file. Ulrich Reinhard. “No, Herr Gruppenführer, Adam was just a neighbor who happened to be dancing in the same company with me. He lived nearby and was escorting me home every evening so nobody would bother me. I never dated him. And the rest of the supposedly incriminating facts against me were put in this file by a man who has a personal vendetta against me.”

  “Was he dancing in your company as well and you stole his part?” Dr. Kaltenbrunner chuckled. I couldn’t help but smile.

  “No, Herr Gruppenführer. That man was kind of… stalking me for quite some time.”

  “Stalking you?”

  “Well, you know what I mean. And when I finally told him to leave me alone, he… didn’t take it too well.”

  “What did he do?”

  “He tried to choke me.”

  Dr. Kaltenbrunner burst into laughter.

  “He tried to choke you? And they say I’m bad.”

  I smiled and slightly shrugged.

  “Yes, that man Kuntz kind of… implied it too.”

  “What did he say?”

  “Nothing. He said that I’d better sign the confession or I’ll be talking to the most famous interrogator in Germany, who can make even the toughest prisoner talk in less than twenty minutes.”

  “Oh God!” Dr. Kaltenbrunner laughed and covered his eyes with his hand. “He did not say that, did he really? You poor thing, no wonder you were so terrified when I walked in. I apologize for that idiot, he’s not too bright.”

  He finished his cigarette and put his hand on my shoulder.

  “Are you all right now?”

  “Yes, Herr Gruppenführer.”

  “You’re not shivering anymore.”

  “No. Thank you for your jacket, Herr Gruppenführer.”

  “You’re most certainly welcome, Frau Friedmann.” He looked at me a little longer and asked, “You’re not afraid of me, are you?”

  For a second I didn’t know what to reply, but then quickly regained my composure and smiled.

  “No, Herr Gruppenführer. You’ve been very kind to me. Thank you for listening to my side of the story.”

  He nodded and picked up my file from the table.

  “So this leaves us only one thing to do: burn this nonsense and forget it ever happened. What do you think?”

  I couldn’t believe my ears. Was he going to let me go?

  “Would it mean that… I’m free now?”

  “Absolutely free, Frau Friedmann. And trust me, I wish we had met in any other circumstances but these.”

  “Me too, Herr Gruppenführer.”

  “Good. Let’s go, I’ll give you a ride home. Your husband must be worried sick about you.”

  “I don’t want to impose on you, Herr Gruppenführer…”

  He made a dismissive movement with his hand and knocked on the door.

  “It’s the least I can do for you after what these idiots put you through. Let’s go.”

  I followed Dr. Kaltenbrunner out of the Gestapo catacombs. I still couldn’t believe that the man, who was supposed to be my executor, had just saved my life.

  Chapter Twelve

  “He let you go? I can’t believe he just let you go like that.”

  It was three in the morning, and I was sitting next to the fireplace, holding a glass of cognac in my hand. Heinrich, with messy hair and still not changed from his uniform, was sitting next to me, right there on the floor, and rubbing my back slightly. It had only been fifteen minutes after I walked through the front door, and he rushed to me from the living room where he’d been waiting for me all this time, asking me what happened and covering my face with kisses. I was too tired to protest and too happy to see him anyway.

  “Why wouldn’t he? I explained everything very rationally, and he took my side instead of Gretchen’s. At least, he’s much more pleasant to deal with unlike that other man, Kuntz.”

  “Pleasant to deal with? Annalise, you clearly don’t know who you’re talking about. Kaltenbrunner is a sadistic maniac who finds some sort of sick pleasure in inventing new ways of torturing people. I didn’t want to tell you when you first met him, but his infamous brutality is what made Himmler appoint him as leader of the Austrian SS. And you’re calling him pleasant?”

  “He wouldn’t torture me. I’m a woman.”

  “A woman?” Heinrich shook his head at me. “It’s even worse. You don’t want to know what he does to women. He’s very anti-Semitic, so he’s kind of disgusted by the Jewish girls, but he doesn’t mind having some fun with the other ones before killing them. And if the girl is Jewish, he throws her like a bone to his SS buddies, and they—”

  “Heinrich, I don’t want to hear about that,” I interrupted him before he said something more disgusting. However, it was still hard for me to believe that Gruppenführer Kaltenbrunner would do something like that. After all, from the whole Gestapo crew he was the only one who treated me like a gentleman, even though I have no idea why.

  “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. You’re still probably terrified from what happened.”

  I took another small sip of the brown liquid that burnt my chest but calmed my nerves. Right now I didn’t feel anything at all. Just tired and empty.

  “It’s all my fault, Heinrich. I almost had myself and my whole family killed just because of some stupid incident. What was I thinking anyway? It’s not the time to be proud of being Jewish. It’s not all fun and games as I thought. It’s all very, very serious. And I put you and your career in danger too. What would they do to you?”

  Heinrich just shrugged indifferently.

  “Most likely nothing. If I told them that I didn’t know about your origin.”

  “Are you sorry you married me?”

  “No, of course not. I love you.”

  “I love you too, Heinrich. I’m sorry for being so stupid. I promise it will never happen again. You were right all along, all the things that you told me there, in the attic. Please, get rid of all the boxes, together with my necklace. I don’t want to have any reminder of who I am.”

  “You shouldn’t be saying that,” he said quietly after a pause.

  “No, I’m done. Today for the first time I realized how fragile my situation is. I don’t know why Dr. Kaltenbrunner decided to take my side, but if I slip again, there won’t be a second chance. I will go to all the parades with you, I’ll be wearing a swastika on my left arm, and I’ll
be greeting all your friends by raising my hand and saying ‘Heil Hitler!’ I’m done with pride, I’m done with fighting, I’m too scared, Heinrich. You, Nazis, won.”

  I saw him staring at the fire and biting his lip, as if deciding something for himself. Finally, he took the glass from me, finished it in one shot, and firmly said, “I’m not a Nazi.”

  I raised my eyes to meet his, but he was still looking at the fire, frowning.

  “Of course you are. How many years have you been working for the Party now? Ten? It’s all right, I don’t hate you for that…”

  He shook his head with a stubborn expression on his face.

  “I’m not a Nazi,” he repeated once again. “It’s all fake. The whole SD position is fake. I despise them all and what they do, and I will die but I won’t let my wife feel like she has to hide her whole life.”

  Heinrich finally turned to me, his expression almost angry.

  “Don’t ever feel ashamed of who you are, Annalise. Don’t let them defeat you so easily.”

  “Heinrich, I don’t understand what you’re trying to say. What do you mean your SD position is fake?”

  “It means what it means. I’ve been working for the American Secret Service for almost four years now. I’m a counterintelligence agent.”

  For a moment I was just looking at him with my mouth open, trying to comprehend what I’d just heard. I tried to form some questions in my mind, but couldn’t find the words to speak. Finally, Heinrich continued, “When I first joined the Party, it was all very different. They seemed to be the only one’s brave and bold enough to bring such necessary changes to the country, which was basically in ruins after the Great War. People had nothing, no money, no food, no hope left. And here comes Adolf Hitler, promising to bring the great German nation back from its knees. He was the only one who wasn’t afraid to swim against the current, he was the one who kept saying that the democratic government wasn’t doing a thing for the starving and defeated nation, and he was right. But those weren’t just empty words. He had the solution. He was proposing plans that were making sense at that time. He promised people food and work, but more than that, he kept reminding the nation of its pride, of its origin, of its superiority. You have to understand, after the years of feeling like nothing, both for soldiers and ordinary people, it was nice to hear that they belong to the oldest race, the Aryan race, which was destined to rule the world. The idea of the Third Reich was a dream they were ready to fight and to die for. And I was one of them.”