The Goddess Quest

by Clara Hartley

  As much as I liked spending time with Danna, maybe I should cut this meeting short and head back to find Deimos. I didn’t want to see my brother, but I had to face my parentage eventually. Was he really my brother? I had been conceived in a strange way, after all. I didn’t know what anything was anymore.

  “My vassals are being annoying,” Danna finally said, breaking the silence. She wasn’t eating her ice cream properly, jabbing it and forming weird patterns on the top. Half of it had melted. “They won’t leave me alone. Gregori especially. He’s checking up on me every five minutes and is trying to steal all my time. There’s infighting whenever they try to decide who gets to have more time with me.”

  “Sounds like you’re wanted. Isn’t that a good thing to think about?”

  “Yeah. But I’d rather have some peace and quiet. Why can’t they all just get along?”

  I glanced at my four vassals, who patiently stood and waited for me. Hansel was making small jabs at Devon, who attempted to swat him away. Hansel wouldn’t back off, however, and all of them teased Devon together. They broke out into joyful laughter. Seeing my vassals get along made me smile. “Where are they now?” I asked.

  “No idea.” She shrugged, then set her ice cream down. I wondered whether her lack of appetite was the reason why she was so skinny. “I snuck away. They’re probably all over the dormitories looking for me, panicking. I love them. I really do. But I wish they’d give me more space.”

  “Talk to them about it?”

  “I think the rest of them understand. It’s Gregori who’s barking orders, expecting everyone to follow them and not giving me any time for myself.”

  Come to think of it, ever since joining the Sanctuary, I’d hardly had a moment alone. I didn’t notice it, however. I enjoyed my vassals’ company, and being with them all the time just felt natural.

  “You’re lucky,” Danna said, glancing back at Hansel and the others. “Not all the half-bloods get along well with all their vassals.”

  “They don’t?” I’d thought it was a given.

  “Nope.” She turned back around, fixating her longing gaze on the unicorns.

  I eyed her ice cream. “If you’re not going to finish that, can I—”

  A cloud of smoke and glitter poofed in front of us. The smoke got into my eyes and mouth. I coughed into my hand and hit my chest. I blinked to get rid of the dust. Danna reacted the same way I did. What the hell was that? Looking up, I got my answer in the form of Clotho—the sister of fate I’d seen in the chiasma’s lake.

  She was just as ravishing as the first time I saw her, with her radiant, translucent glow. Her eyelashes fluttered when she looked at me. “Good evening, Caramel,” she said. Her long white hair spilled over her shoulders, and her dress, even in this light, looked amazing. The dress sparkled with a million colors and was adorned with elaborate, intricate details. The feathers around them were a different shade this time, sparkling with a deep purple. The purple went well with her white hair.

  “What are you doing here?”

  Danna, next to me, was freaking the fuck out. Her eyeballs looked like they might pop out of their sockets. “Who are you?”

  I waved my hand in front of me. “She’s some goddess with a penchant for creating things and stuff like that.”

  Clotho didn’t look pleased with my introduction. “My name is Clotho, one of the sisters of fate, and you, my dear, are my creation and child, as are all things in all the realms.”

  I sniffed. “That’s what I just said.”

  “So,” Danna said, seemingly less impressed by Clotho than she was by the unicorns, “you’re just, like, really powerful and great.”

  Clotho nodded. “Essentially.”

  “Why are you here, hanging with comparatively less great people, then?”

  Clotho pinned her gaze on me. She looked serious, and when gods with as much power as her looked serious, it was never a good sign. “I need to talk to you, Cara.”

  “About?” I asked.

  “Deimos.”

  I thought to ask how she knew about my brother, then decided someone as strong as her probably knew about everything.

  “You will meet him again, soon, yes?”

  “He is to show me where Aphrodite and Ares are.”

  “That is what he promised, but not all promises are kept. Do be cautious.”

  “He says he’s my brother.”

  “Blood means nothing amongst the gods. In Haven, those with power love and bond with whomever they like, and loyalty due to shared blood is not a common concept. You have to be very careful.”

  “Then why the fuck does everybody look at me through the lens of my parentage?” I asked. The double standard was annoying.

  “Because it determines what you’re capable of.”

  I shook my head and sighed. I didn’t want to follow this line of thought, so I changed the topic. “So, what do you mean, ‘be cautious’?”

  “When combined, Aphrodite and Ares are immensely powerful, and so are their offspring.”

  I glanced at my hands. “Doesn’t feel like it to me.”

  “That’s because your powers have yet to be truly unlocked.” Clotho blew out a sigh, and when she did, a shimmering, bright cloud came from her lips. “Deimos, as such a strong entity, escapes my vision. I know too little about him, which makes me wary. I wouldn’t trust him if I were you.”

  “I don’t like being around him either,” I said. “But what else can we do to find my parents? He’s the only clue we have.”

  Clotho nodded. “That is true.”

  “So?”

  “For once, I’m not sure what the right course of action is. This could lead us to your parents, but this could also be a move by Deimos to stir more trouble. We walk a dangerous line.”

  I placed my hands on my hips. “You’re here to tell me that you don’t know what to do. What’s the point of coming here, then? You’re not being very helpful.”

  “Take this,” Clotho said. She waved her hand in front of her. A beaded necklace appeared and hovered in the air. It landed in her palm, and she displayed it to me. “Keep it close to you.”

  “What is it?” I asked, taking the artifact. It looked simple enough. The string of the necklace was made of leather. It wrapped around a red bead, no bigger than my thumb, and the bead had tiny swirls in it.

  “A communication device,” Clotho replied. “The Fate Necklace. The bead will call to the sisters of fate when you put your own blood on it. It’s ancient, and I don’t just give it to anybody. Still, considering finding Deimos might help solve a crisis, I thought it might be a good decision to pass it to you.” Her expression turned steely. “Do not trust them. Ares has a reputation for deceit. It’s how he gained so much power during wartime.”

  “I’m not that dumb.” I hoped. If Ares was shiny, then I’d probably get blinded and fuck everything up.

  “I wish you all the best, Cara,” Clotho said.

  She swept her arms out in front of her, and another puff of dust enveloped her.

  After Clotho disappeared, the vassals showed up next to me. Liam gave me a look of concern. “What did she come here for?”

  “A warning,” I said. I showed him the necklace. “And this.”

  “What is it?”

  “Something we can use to call her. I’m hoping we won’t have a reason to use it.”

  Liam took the necklace from me. He stepped behind me and lifted my hair away from my back, then fastened the necklace around my neck, the coarseness of his fingertips brushing my skin.

  “It looks good on you,” Theo said with a sweet smile. He was watching me from the side.

  I wrapped my right hand around the bead. “Yeah? Well, let’s go find Deimos, then.”

  “Can somebody explain to me what’s going on?” Danna asked.

  I looked at her and sighed. “It’s a long story, and I’m having trouble understanding what everything means myself.”

  “You better explain before y
ou leave, then, because I don’t want to be beside myself with worry when you go missing again. Those three days were torturous.”

  Chapter 13

  “Are you sure you want to bring Fenrir along this time?” I asked Liam.

  Fenrir snuggled against Liam as we rode the magic carpet toward the Amethyst Lake. I really didn’t want to go back to Deimos, but what were our other options? Sit around and wait for death?

  Liam scratched the back of Fenrir’s ear. “I left him behind for too long. I think he got lonely. Besides, he’s a powerful, strong, mythical wolf. He might be of use.” Fenrir licked the side of Liam’s face. Liam twitched his nose. He didn’t look particularly happy about the slobber, but it seemed like they got along well enough.

  Devon wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer to him. I still reveled in the fact that he was alive. I snuggled up to his hard body and planted a kiss at his jaw. The carpet was still too small for the five of us. I grabbed Devon’s arm, feeling his heat. It was different to the memory of him being bony and cold. Recalling how frail he’d been disturbed me. I never wanted him in that state again.

  “Deimos, huh?” Devon said. “Wasn’t he the mythical general during the Vassal War?”

  I nodded. “Apparently, he’s also my brother.”

  “That’s new. What else did I miss while knocked out?”

  “We met the centaurs.”

  “Did you?”

  “And selkies. Apparently, they loved my mother too, but Liam’s father pissed them off, so I missed out on a chance at getting selkie abilities.”

  Devon’s face sagged.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Wish I’d been there. I want to be there for everything you experience.” He wrapped his strong arms around me and tightened his hug. I couldn’t believe how safe I felt in his embrace. It was beautiful.

  His words caused a liquid, warm sensation to spread across my chest. “You will be in the future. For every moment. I’m not going to let anyone hurt you again, and I’m sorry.” The guilt from stabbing him hadn’t left me. I placed my hand where the wound had been. Thankfully, there was no mark left behind, but the memory of his blood on my hands would forever haunt me. I hated how my parentage gave me such a violent side, and I was afraid it might resurface one day.

  “You weren’t in control of yourself,” Devon said. “It’s all right.”

  “I’m scared it might happen again.”

  So far, after stabbing Devon, the angry thoughts hadn’t come back. But maybe they were merely slumbering and would wake up again. It wasn’t just Devon I was worried about. I looked at the rest of my vassals. Goddesses be damned if any of them ended up as my next victim.

  I sighed. “Maybe meeting Aphrodite might give us more explanations.”

  Devon brushed his lips across my cheek. He grabbed my hand and ran his thumb over the back of it. The simple gesture made me feel special and wanted and loved.

  “You’re amazing,” I said, saying the first thing that came to mind.

  “You’re only realizing that now?”

  “Don’t let your compliments get to his head,” Theo said teasingly. He lowered himself, then rested his head on my thigh.

  We fell into a comfortable silence. We didn’t need to have long, forced conversations to be happy. Just each other’s presence was enough. As we sat on the carpet, the wind whipped past us. My hair got into my face, so Devon helped me brush it away.

  Hansel, who was sitting across from me, grabbed my ankle. He was gazing off into the distance, not seeming to pay attention. His touch seemed to have come subconsciously, as if he were reminding himself that I was there for him.

  I wanted this moment to still. For us to be like this forever.

  But we had to face the chiasma, my creepy brother, and my shitty parentage. The carpet flew over a thick canopy of trees. The bottom grazed some leaves, making a rustling sound. We’d finally reached our destination—the giant tree where we first met Deimos.

  We got down from the carpet, sprawling from the safe huddle we’d forced ourselves into. Once my feet landed on the forest ground, a cooling sensation kissed my skin. Regardless of how nice snuggling up was, there were too many bodies pressed together, and it’d gotten too warm. Theo massaged his shoulder and stretched then yawned loudly. I guessed we were all tired, but since our actions determined the fate of the realms, we had no choice but to continue our expedition.

  I searched the compound, eyes raking past the blue leaves of the forests.

  Deimos was nowhere to be seen.

  “Where’d he go?” I asked.

  Liam shrugged. “Maybe he needed to take a piss.”

  “Do gods piss?”

  “Not a clue, though I don’t think I’ve ever seen a goddess go to the restroom. It might just be that they’re awfully secretive about it. Keeps up the whole mythical image, you know?”

  “Right,” I replied. The subject made me curious, but I decided not to dwell on it. Maybe one day, when I became a goddess, I’d find out the truth. How different were those in power compared to us?

  I moved toward the rune I’d activated when I first met Deimos. The leaves had covered it again. I crouched on the ground and swept them aside.

  “There is no need.”

  I turned around. Deimos came toward us from the forest, the branches of the trees casting harsh shadows on his face. As soon as he announced his arrival, the familiar feeling of dread weighed on my chest. I wanted to run away. I ignored the cowardice his presence invoked and got up to face him.

  Rocks continued to circle his head. Did those tips look sharper than before?

  He leveled his bright green eyes on me. “You’ve decided to come.”

  “Was I allowed not to?”

  Deimos grinned, the smile sharper than a knife. “I would have looked for you if you didn’t show up. Letting you save your friend was merely a courtesy.”

  Clotho’s warning that I couldn’t trust this man or my family blared loudly in my thoughts. “Question—if we follow you to the Otherside, will Aphrodite and Ares agree to fix the chiasma?”

  “Is that what you’re after? To save the realms?”

  “I’d much rather the girls in the Sanctuary don’t die.”

  Deimos cocked his head. “Are the girls in the Sanctuary not safe?”

  “The chiasma has been eating them up.”

  He blinked. “I was not aware of that.”

  “Aren’t you supposed to be some almighty god that knows everything?”

  “I’ve been sleeping for a long time, and I do not have the ability of sight. There are many things I have missed while waiting for you. Much of the geography in Haven has changed, and I’m discovering more and more as I walk along these paths.”

  “So?” I said. “Answer me. Will they fix the chiasma?” I folded my arms across my chest and pinned Deimos with a judgmental look.

  His smile faltered. “Is that all you’re after? What of family? Blood? Aren’t you excited to meet your birth parents?”

  “I kind of want to run away more. I’m not particularly interested in them, even though I’ve heard about them a lot.” Really, every time they came up, they only brought trouble.

  My response didn’t faze Deimos. He continued grinning. “Come with me. I’ll lead to the Otherside.”

  I noticed that he hadn’t answered my question, even though I’d asked twice.

  I exchanged wary glances with my vassals, then clutched the necklace around my neck.

  Maybe I’d have to summon Clotho after all.

  Despite Deimos’s skin looking like fresh snow, I knew that inside, his heart was nothing but black. The setup that he’d led us to was grotesque. Nobody with a conscience should be able to create something like this. Dead animals lay about the place, their fur torn from their skin. Bones hung from the sticks he’d propped up, and innards were strewn across the ground.

  The gory mess was placed in a well-thought-out arrangement—a concentric sym
bol that looked like it belonged in a cult gathering. Deimos spun around to look at us. When he did, his metallic robes swirled. “This is the entrance.”

  “Did you really have to kill the cute bunnies?” I asked. I shouldn’t judge him so much. Hansel had slaughtered some bunnies for us to eat. Still, how horrible everything looked gave me too much doubt.

  “A gate to the Otherside requires sacrifice,” Deimos said.

  “Couldn’t you have sacrificed toads instead?”

  “I don’t see the difference. The toads are living, breathing animals, just like these rabbits are.”

  “They’re gross, unlike these cute things.” A carcass was missing an eye. I couldn’t stare at it for too long, since it was starting to make me feel queasy.

  Deimos didn’t care much for my commentary. He moved toward the circular arrangement, standing in the center before spreading his arms. He muttered something, and moments later, black smoke poured from his fingers, then from the bloody lines he’d drawn on the ground. The rocks hovering above his head shifted, moving toward his hands. They joined together and arranged themselves into a staff. Deimos swept the staff in front of him, and the smoke coalesced around his form. Bright sparks of purple zapped through the black, pulsing cloud that came from the staff.

  I took a step back and into Liam’s arms. It seemed my vassals were just as unsure about the situation as I. Theo’s posture was guarded, even though he usually stood casually. He hardly ever frowned, but this time, a deep cut was etched in between his brows. Hansel shifted his weight from one foot to the other, and Liam kept his jaw tightened. I thought the smoke might swallow Deimos whole and we might never see him again.

  Moments later, he walked out of it. “And there is the portal,” he said, sounding eerily chipper. “Go on.”