by Theda Black
Xander flinched. He rolled as much as he was able, trying to get away from the hands. The man bent, blond hair gleaming in the light from the fires. He licked his lips and lowered his mouth to Xander’s thigh, his hands still moving over Xander’s body. His lips trailed over the join of thigh and hip.
Xander cried out miserably, tried to sit up. His arms and legs shook with strain, pulling against the grip of the men holding him down. Seth’s heart contracted into something hard and tight, nauseating. Unbearable.
The people who’d faded away from Seth moved close again, surrounding him in a dense knot. They were faceless black shadows, obstacles to be removed. He waded in, pushing forward. Hands grabbed his arms, unwanted heat against his icy skin. He flung some off, twisted free of others. Somebody brought a fist smashing down, catching him at the crook between neck and shoulder. He staggered and looked up.
Xander had stilled, watching. “Let him go. I’ll let you, I swear, just don’t.” His face shut down, panic disappearing, everything gone. Blank.
It made Seth want to hit someone, maybe Xander. “All this time you’ve dreamed of this place, been drawn to them, and this is what it was for? Don’t give them anything. Fight them!”
“Calm down, Seth. We don’t want to hurt you.” Beth’s voice came from the dark and smoke. She stepped close, her hair flying in the wind, limned in firelight. She wore a long white dress, sheer and whipping against her body. She was lovely. He wanted to kill her.
“The cambion will take him and Xander will dream away the time, that’s all. Agreus will walk again. It’s always been this way.”
“Beth, please, you—” he stopped pleading at the look on her face. “He’s not a willing vessel, he’s not—he sees. I thought this was about giving the damned—the god pleasure. Not about forcing Xander to live through what he does. ”
“You can help him, Seth,” she said, patient.
“You don’t understand. He feels people touching him, feels himself touching them. There’s no goddamned pleasant dreams whiling away the time while your god has his fun. What do you think that feels like, having someone force you?” He was shouting, tears running down his face. There were hands all over him, holding him back.
Beth smiled. “You’re the one who doesn’t understand. Tell him to let go and stop fighting it. That’s all he has to do.”
“What makes you think he can? What the hell makes you think I would ever do that?” Seth bared his teeth at the people around him, shoving the nearest away.
“You don’t want him hurt, do you? We don’t. He’s one of us, and he’s making a great sacrifice. He was chosen.” Her voice rang over the clearing.
God, how he hated her. “You’re insane. Why don’t you ask your husband how it feels to wake up eighteen years later a dried-up old man—”
“You’re incredibly stupid if you don’t think I understand the cost.” Ice now, cold and imperious. “You’re an outsider, come to tell us how things are supposed to be simply because you say it’s so. You know nothing of us. This is Xander’s destiny.”
“What the fuck is that, what does that mean? You know something’s gone wrong. Have you ever had one of them suffer before he’s taken them? Have you ever had to hold one of them down and force them to submit?” Seth yelled.
Beth spoke to Xander. “Before he died, your father gave you to Pan Agreus to honor the town’s promise. It can’t be undone. The cambion’s desires will tear you apart. The goat will rut. But maybe one of us can help you lose yourself to him. Who do you choose, Xander? All you have to do is ask. And when it’s over, Seth can go free.”
Xander and the men holding him down all looked at her. “How do I know you’ll let him go?” Xander said.
“Pan will allow you to take him away from here. He’ll let you see. He only wants him gone.”
Xander looked up at the black sky. Then he looked at Seth, sorrow and something else on his face that made Seth stop breathing for a moment.
“You can’t,” Seth whispered. He said it again, louder, then screamed it.
“They’ll let you go,” Xander said.
“Who do you pick, Xander?” Beth asked.
Seth couldn’t get his breath. His eyes burned. He didn’t care who heard, who saw. “Don’t do this. Don’t make me watch it.”
Xander’s mask slipped further. “I had to watch, too. In the hallway. I saw what it did to you, and me being sorry about it doesn’t change jack shit. I’m still going to make you look that way again. I am already.” His voice shook.
“Two days ago, remember? You told me you didn’t want to do this to either of us. So just don’t. Please.” Seth’s breath stuttered, stalling in his chest.
“There’s just this last thing to get through, Seth, okay? To remind you why you need to get away from me. Then it’s over. You can go home.”
“I can’t. I won’t.”
“You can. You didn’t even know me a few months ago.” Xander spoke louder, desperate. “It’s not just me in here. He’d hurt you, and it’d be my fault. How am I supposed to let that happen, Seth? Tell me.”
Seth’s heart beat hard and fast, panicking. Losing ground, no matter what he did. It couldn’t happen this way. “I’m asking you to say no, please say no.”
Xander squeezed his eyes shut as if it hurt to hear him.
“Choose,” Beth said, calm and sure.
“I don’t care who.” Xander’s voice was dead.
Beth nodded and the tall blond man bent over Xander again, speaking. Seth couldn’t hear it. His hands moved over Xander’s body, a hand cupping his cock. Xander didn’t move.
Seth finally recognized the still, waiting look on Xander’s face. It was the look he’d first seen when he’d woke up in Xander’s bed the morning after a bad dream. Xander wasn’t afraid. He hadn’t been then, either. He was giving in, facing it and pulling away, both, because he didn’t think there was a way to make it stop.
Something hard and hot, huge, tore loose inside Seth, in his heart, his gut. He lurched forward. Hands grabbed at him, dragging him back and adding more weight to the look on Xander’s face, to the fear inside Seth that said too late and you can’t save him. He twisted and kicked blindly, got someone in the knee, whipped his own knee forward and buried it in someone’s balls. He kept his eyes on Xander as much as he could. He could see the sweat and oil on Xan’s face, gleaming over his closed, vulnerable eyelids.
“Look at me!” Seth’s shout ripped from him, harsh, demanding that Xander see him, remember he was there.
Xander’s eyes snapped open, out of focus, then widening, coming to life, fearful. Fear for Seth.
Seth’s vision narrowed, swirling with heat and darkness. More hands pulled at him. He knocked them away with fists and elbows, twisted from them, dragged others along with him. So close. Nearly there. He threw his head back, a quick snap, and caught someone in the face behind him, heard a shriek. He lunged forward and grabbed the stony lip of the altar, pulling forward.
The men who held Xander stared at him but didn’t move to stop him. Xander’s eyes opened wide, amber and green and slanting in the flickering light. It sharpened his cheekbones, pooling shadow in the hollows beneath. Seth reached out, put his hand to Xander’s neck under his jaw, felt his pulse thundering beneath his fingers. It reminded him to stop, to breathe.
He turned to face the circle of people around him, found Beth. “He’s not going to feel what he needs with any of you. But he will with me.”
Beth’s hair whipped behind her, then back, curling around her face. “You think you’ll save him? You’re giving him to us.”
“Is that a yes, then?” Seth asked.
“No,” Xander said, loud, frantic.
“Yes.” Beth laughed.
19
SETH SPOKE IN Xander’s ear. “Nobody’s really had your back before, have they? But I do, I’m here. Now listen to me. How did you keep Agreus away last night?”
“You,” Xander said slowly. He licked his l
ips. “I watched you. Felt you.”
Seth nodded. “If he can’t have his sacrifice, if he can’t touch you here and now on his turf, I think you’ve beat him. We’re going back to school, Xan, you hear? We’re going to graduate, get everything you worked for.” He leaned down slowly, kissing him as if no one else was there, long and slow, putting his heart into it, his hope and his need.
Xander answered. He tasted of fear and heat and so much want, spilling out of him.
It was electrifying. Seth’s heart raced. He crushed their lips together, tongue exploring Xander’s mouth. He was panting when he pulled back. He couldn’t take his eyes from Xander. Xander’s pupils were blown wide.
Seth unbuttoned his jeans, pulling them and his briefs down together. He was on fire, the cold air a relief on his skin. He felt the eyes of all the people in this fucking cult over him, watching, but he didn’t look. He didn’t care. He only looked at Xander.
“You’re setting us both up to lose.” The skin around Xander’s eyes was swollen, like he’d been crying.
“We have to try, Xander. You have to let me try.”
Xander’s expression twisted. “It’s not a game. You lose and you get hurt. It’s not worth that.”
“Don’t make me say something stupid, because I will. And don’t make me beg,” Seth said, his voice so soft he already was. He leaned close and kissed him again, his hands roaming over Xander’s chest and across ridges of muscle, fingers dragging over oiled skin. He closed his eyes, listening to Xander’s breathing speed up, feeling the heat and warmth beneath his hands, inching below to Xander’s flat belly and finally, finally over his cock. Seth opened his eyes.
Xander looked up at him, inhaling sharply, cock jerking against Seth’s palm. “He wants you so much. He’s right here with us, a shadow just behind my eyes. So greedy, so hungry. He’ll shove my brains out of my skull if it means he gets what he wants.” Xander’s words hitched, tone dropping lower. “He wants to see you as much as he wants me to say yes to him. He wants to fuck into you while you’re helpless, open to me. And if you open to him because of me, he’ll rip your mind to shreds. He feeds off me wanting you. I can’t do this, you understand? I can’t—get the fuck away—get him off me!” Xander screamed, head up, glaring over at Beth. “You fucking bitch, you get him off me or I’ll kill you no matter who wins, you hear me?” Xander bucked, twisting away from Seth’s hands on him.
Seth wrapped a hand around his jaw, slid his other into his hair and held him. He nipped small kisses over Xander’s mouth, taking his time. Slowly he let him go, feeling Xander’s body shake against his. “It’s too late. You want me to leave you here but I can’t, I can’t.”
Xander turned his head away, jaw tense. A tear ran down his face. When Seth tried to kiss him again he jerked away. “We don’t have any clothes on and they’re watching us. Fuck. Look at them.” Xander breathed out heavily. He laughed, and then his breath caught in his chest. “I’m so tired of all this.” His face smoothed. He reared up, yanking against the two men holding his arms. “You getting off on us, you fucking asshole perverts?” He looked out at the crowd in the clearing, silent. The fires crackled and popped. “I don’t remember this town. I don’t remember you.” He grew louder as he spoke. “If I could, I’d bring these mountains down on you. I’d bury you. Your Pan is fucking dead. He’s dying inside me now.” He turned his face to Seth and raised up, trying to yank his arms free again. This time the men who held him let him go, though they didn't move away. Xander pulled Seth to him and they kissed again. The clearing was silent, waiting.
Seth’s hands roved over Xander’s body, stopping at a nipple, rubbing lightly back and forth, feeling it stiffen. He dropped his head after it and bit. Xander’s back bowed off the table. Seth was shaking, felt his balls draw up, excitement and something else, need or want, he couldn’t tell the difference. It knotted together with something dark, obsessive. Possessive. He wanted to push it away, but instinct told him the god might understand–that he should give way to it.
His hand rubbed over Xander’s warm, smooth stomach, felt a small pulse beating there, then lower, trail of hair from Xander’s navel soft against the pads of his fingers. Then lower again. He curled his hand around Xander’s balls and tugged gently. His heart was in his throat, mouth dry and pulse loud in his ears.
Xander’s dick pulsed hot and huge against his wrist, the head flared and flushed. Seth curled his hand around Xander and jacked him with long, slow strokes.
Xander moaned, threw his head back. Seth climbed on the table, the stone rough and icy cold against his knees. He pressed himself to Xander’s burning body, raised his hips and pumped himself, smearing oil over his dick from Xander’s body. He grasped both their cocks in his palm, sliding hot and smooth together. Xander rocked, thrusting into his hand.
“You going to cooperate and fuck me now?” Seth panted, trying his damnedest to grin, reassure, but Xander didn’t smile back. Seth slipped his other hand between his own legs, put oiled fingers to his hole, rubbed and pushed a finger inside himself. Fuck, it felt good. He felt himself opening to the pressure, sparks of pleasure radiating from his spine.
“Yes." He gripped the back of Seth's neck, pulled him down and kissed him.
Seth tensed. Something was wrong, too rough, it wasn’t—
“I see you, Mayfair.” Xander—it—smiled. The wind wavered so that the flames danced over its skin.
The men at Xander's side-stepped back into the shadows, while the crowd surrounding them drew closer.
Seth jerked back, horrified, everything in him trying to shut down. But he couldn’t afford to retreat.
The thing stroked himself and groaned, squeezing his cock. He arched, the muscles in his thighs quivering, pushing his dick through his fist. Xander’s mannerisms, the way he held his body, the way he moved, was gone, replaced by another, someone who was malevolent and huge, existing beyond the bounds of Xander’s body.
Seth breathed slow and deep, trying to keep panic at bay. He heard someone in the crowd groan.
He lay down against Xander’s body. Xander could see and feel him. Xander felt what the monster did. If the thing stole Xander’s body, still it didn’t own him.
It’s eyes were Xander’s. Hazel, beautiful. Alien, looking out at Seth, lustful and knowing. It smiled with Xander’s face, the deep groove in his cheek curving just as it did when Xander was happy.
Seth blinked against the hot scratchiness in his eyes and the voice inside him, screaming at him to get the hell off this table, run and never look back. He looked at the people standing all around. They smiled when Xander did.
The thing put hands on Seth’s shoulders, pulling Seth’s body effortlessly beneath him. Seth didn’t resist. The town might not feel the god all the time, but here in this circle, it was all they could feel. They wanted Seth crushed, stripped raw. He saw it in their eyes.
“I’ve listened and looked for you so many times,” the thing said in Xander’s low, confiding voice. “Now I see you. There’s no magic in you. You don’t know why you can’t hear the gods, do you?”
“You’re behind the times.” Seth tried to keep his tone nonchalant, knew he was failing miserably. “The rest of the world can’t hear you.”
“Yet you can protect him, and the rest of the world can’t.” The thing looked slyly at Seth. “He hates himself because he couldn’t send you away, because he can’t keep me out.” It kissed Seth, a seizure and possession, hands clamped around Seth’s head.
Seth kissed him back, repeating Xander’s name in his head like a touchstone. Xander could feel him, would know he was touching him.
The thing pulled away, lips shining wet and full in the firelight. “You’re nothing,” it marveled, full of good humor. “Why would he want you so much?”
A tear rolled down Seth’s face. The demon curved his tongue and licked it into its mouth.
“Now,” it breathed, arms crushing around Seth. Xander’s cock brushed against Seth’s ass. �
��Spread your legs for me.” The blunt head nudged at the ring of muscle just inside, splitting him.
He wasn’t ready. Xander might be in there, but it wasn’t him, and he wasn’t ready.
The need to avoid the demon's gaze was nearly physical. It made Seth angry, so he looked straight into its eyes, unwavering. “You were in Harvey’s head when he went crazy, Xan. You’ve got a seer’s blood. This is his town because they can hear him. They’re all open to him, to you now. Give them what’s in me, what kept you safe even when we didn’t know each other existed. Deafen their ears to him. Push him out.”
It shut its eyes, brows bunching and forehead creasing as if in pain, turning away. Seth grabbed his chin and forced Xander’s face back to his. “It’s about what we want, you fucking parasite. Xander, let them feel what we can do together.” He kissed Xander’s throat, bit down and then licked over the place with his tongue, desperate for him to hear. “Listen,” he breathed, thinking of all the times he’d heard Xander in the dorm–the hurried breathing, stifled groans in the dark–while he shook with the need to reach across the room and touch him, just once. “I want my hands on you, want to breathe you in, want you inside me, making you come. God, I want to make you come. I want to wake up with you in the same bed with me.”
The thing’s cock slid from Seth. It opened its mouth as if to speak. No sound came out. Its eyes widened.
Seth whispered in its ear. “Xan, you've always been alone, you know how it feels. Don’t leave me alone with him.”
“Twin Wolves is mine.” The beast's mouth opened, panting, not with pleasure. Its arms rose. Hands fastened around Seth’s throat.
Seth kept his eyes on Xander, fighting to pull in air, trying to squirm from under the solid weight pressing him against the table. The grip around his throat was immovable. He got a leg free and swung it, trying to pull Xander off him. Hands seized his leg and held it tight. The orange glow from the fires enveloped the edges of his vision and crept inward.