by Theda Black
The thing’s eyes changed, grew softer and younger. The harsh lines in Xander’s face relaxed.
Suddenly Seth could breathe. He arched upward, coughing, drawing in great breaths of air. The men who’d grabbed Seth’s legs let go. They seemed unsure what to do next.
“I’m sorry, oh fuck, shit, please be okay.” Xander sat upright, reaching for Seth, and Seth grabbed Xander’s hands, nodding. Xander looked up at the people in the clearing. “That promise my parents made is as dead as they are. I hope you and this goddamned town rots in hell.”
Seth pointed at Beth. “She talks about your destiny. We’ve won. She knows it, and these people know it.” Seth pulled Xander close and spoke in his ear. “I’m yours, you’re mine. Got that?”
Xander laughed. “Neanderthal.” He pressed his forehead to Seth’s and nodded.
“We’re fucking naked,” Seth added, and Xander nodded again.
20
THE FIRES WERE dying, the people surrounding them black silhouettes. Xander touched Seth’s chest as if to anchor himself. “Pan’s gone. He never owned me, and he owns none of you.”
Voices rose, confused. Beth stood in front of Xander, eyes wide, mouth a thin slash. “Where is he?”
Xander looked up at the sky, then into the woods. “Dead, I hope.”
“Tell me what you’ve done to him.” She took a step closer.
“It was both of us,” said Seth.
Simon grabbed Beth’s hand, forcing her to halt. “I can’t feel…anything.” He stood still, listening, concentrating. Finally he shook his head. “There’s nothing out there. Agreus is gone. The boy’s telling the truth.”
“You paid with eighteen years of your life—of our lives to him. He can’t just be gone. Why would he leave?” Beth’s calm disappeared, voice trembling.
“He was waiting for his vessel,” Xander said. “I refused him, thanks to Seth. He ran out of time.”
“It can’t be that easy.” Beth searched the clearing as if looking for the god in physical form.
“Easy.” Seth stared at her. “How many of his chosen ones refused him before?”
“He promised to take care of us.” Beth looked at Simon.
“He’s gone, or he’s left.” Simon pulled Beth to him. “Maybe it’s time.”
Sandra pushed to the front of the crowd from behind Simon. “I’m leaving. I’m taking Billy away from here.”
“Why? This is your home,” said Simon.
“Home should make you feel safe and protected. I thought you and Beth loved Billy, I really did. And then Beth said Billy was the next chosen one. What would have happened to my son if Pan hadn’t pursued Xander to the very end? This place isn’t our home. It's dangerous and sick.”
Seth had had enough. It was fucking cold and they were discussing this shit as if sitting in someone’s parlor drinking tea or something. He and Xander were naked, and cupped hands did not warm a cold set of–
“Where are our clothes?” Xander crooked a grin, the giant ass, leaning nonchalantly with a hand propped against the cold stone as if he didn’t have a care in the world. Seth took a moment to enjoy the view because he’d gone through hell, but he wasn’t dead. Xander’s grin grew.
“Behind the altar,” said Simon.
Sandra considerately looked away while Seth and Xander climbed off the altar and found their clothes heaped on the ground. Seth pulled his pants and underwear on as fast as he could, nearly falling when his pant legs tangled.
Xander steadied Seth with a hand at his back, then pulled his clothes on with an effort, grimacing.
“What?” Seth asked.
“The damned oil they slathered on me. I need a shower.”
They finished dressing and rounded the stone table again, stopping in front of Beth and Simon.
“Whatever you feel about us, this is where you’re from. It’s home,” Beth said to Xander.
“You want me to give my life up to this place and then tell me it’s home? Here’s hoping you and this mother-fucking inbred party town goes straight to hell,” Xander said.
“You still have family here,” Beth said.
Simon nodded. “Aunts, cousins.”
Xander’s eyes narrowed. “They knew about this.”
“Yes.”
“Then I don’t have family, just like I always thought.”
“I’m so sorry for–for everything. I was afraid for my son. I hope you can understand,” Sandra said.
Xander swept a hand through his hair and looked at Seth, then nodded. “Where’s Billy?”
“With his grandparents. I’ll take you back to get your stuff if you want.”
Xander nodded again.
The fires had died to flickering coals. The show was canceled and the freaks were still waiting. For what, Seth didn’t know.
“Go home,” Simon told them all. The banked fires gave his face color, as if some essential spark of life remained inside him.
Seth didn’t believe it. It was an illusion.
Xander looked at Beth and Simon. “I will fucking ruin your precious town if you ever come after me again.”
“You can’t,” Beth said. “Nobody will believe you.”
Xander towered over her. “You,” he said, teeth gritted, “I should just kill. Save me some worry.”
Simon stepped in between them. “Outsiders may believe something of what you say, enough to draw attention and investigate Twin Wolves, I think. We’ll leave you alone. We’ve paid, too.” He looked at Xander a long time, the silence stretching on. “I knew your parents. They were good people. I’m sorry you never knew them.”
Xander walked away, shoulders set, radiating contempt. Seth and Sandra followed him. The people in the clearing opened the path before them.
21
SANDRA PULLED INTO the drive at the farmhouse, Nissan rolling to a stop, engine idling. The headlight beams crossed the winding drive and lit up the trees on the back edge of the property.
Sandra cleared her throat. “I really am sorry for everything.”
Seth looked at her from the backseat, nonplused. He’d thought he liked her, but she’d known what was happening and hadn’t told them.
“What was it like for you, living here?” Xander asked, in the passenger seat. “Did everyone in Twin Wolves know about Pan’s existence?”
Sandra thought a moment. “Simon, Beth, a few others–they basically catered to Agreus. The rest of us all heard him, but we didn’t have to do much. We were all close, bound together by him. We felt taken care of, I guess. It came with a big price. He was… overwhelming. It felt like he could just, you know, usurp who you were. Make you feel things, relax your inhibitions, to put it mildly.” She gave them a wry smile. “That’s how I got pregnant.”
Seth and Xander both looked at her, startled.
“It’s okay. I got Billy out of this mess.”
“So you’ve known of him all your life?” Xander persisted.
She looked back at Seth, then Xander. “Even as a kid, yeah. His presence grew stronger at puberty.” She shook her head. “It’s strange, not hearing him. I think he…took something from us. Our energy, somehow.” She smiled. “It’s good now. Peaceful.”
“Where will you go?” Seth asked.
“We can stay with Billy’s grandparents until I find a job and get out of here. I worked at a shop in the foothills until I had Billy. That’s the first place I’ll try.”
She’d said ‘Billy’s grandparents.’ Nothing about her family. “Do you have family here?” Seth asked.
“No, not anymore. That makes it easier.”
“Good luck,” Seth said. “Thanks for bringing us back.”
“When are you leaving?”
“I can’t get out of here fast enough.” Xander opened the door. “Take care, Sandra.”
Seth looked up at the sky. The stars scattered across the sky like diamond drifts, so many more visible in the mountains than he was used to seeing. He got out of the car. Crickets chirped fro
m the grass. The blooms of the smoke tree shrouded the dark, crooked branches in front of the house.
He and Xander climbed the steps, the porch warmly lit. Beth had left a light on. Sandra pulled away, the Nissan’s headlights sweeping over them as they opened the front door.
Seth flipped the light on in the foyer. They climbed the stairs to their room, gathering their belongings hurriedly. They were outside again in five minutes flat, throwing their bags into the Chevelle’s trunk, then climbing into the front of the car.
Xander sighed as the engine turned over. He caressed the dashboard. “Hello, baby. Take us out of here, will you?”
Seth opened his mouth to make a smart-ass comment, then closed it. Truth be told, he was glad to be safe in the car, too. He’d never tell Xander, but the familiar roar of the engine was a relief.
The mountains were dark in a way that the city never was, the Chevelle’s lights cutting through the night with a clean sweep of light. The trees pressed in on both sides of the graveled path. Seth hadn’t noticed how close they were to the road in the light of day. It was kind of spooky.
“Hey, do you want me to drive?” Seth asked, though he felt as exhausted as Xander looked.
“Nah, I’m good.” Xander shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “The oil they slathered over me is fucking gross, though. Sticking to my clothes.”
“You’re still sick. You should let me drive.”
“I don't get sick much, and when I do I heal fast. And I haven’t known you long enough to let you drive my car.”
Seth stared at him. “You’re shitting me. You’ve got to be shitting me.”
“I shit you not.”
“I saved your life. Remember that?”
“I know.” Xander gave him the side-eye. “Still not letting you drive. She knows you don’t like her.”
“Who says I don’t like it–her?”
“Let’s see. You called her a thing. Prehistoric, you said. A dinosaur.”
Seth popped Xander in the shoulder with a fist.
“Ow,” Xander said, expression unchanging. “That really hurts. You’re really strong.”
“Ugh.” Seth eyed Xander’s shoulder, shirt clinging to skin. “Your clothes are literally sticking to you, aren’t they?”
“So don’t touch me.”
Don’t you get tired of saying that to me?” Seth sighed. “Anyway, you think I don’t remember but I do. You offered to let me take your car if I’d leave you here.”
“I lied. And I didn’t mean it when I said not to touch me, either. Do it. Touch my gross, oiled body.”
“I just popped a boner,” Seth said, and Xander laughed.
Xander took the turn onto paved road. By the time they got to tourist territory lower in the mountains, both of them were starving. It was after three in the morning and the tourist traps were lit but mostly empty. Finally they found a square restaurant that served square burgers, open twenty-four hours. After eating they hit the bathroom, both of them bone tired. Seth went outside to get Xander clothes from the trunk while he washed up as best he could in the sink, then changed into the clothes Seth brought inside. Both of them in the bathroom was a tight fit and awkward as hell, jostling against each other, but neither of them cared.
Seth caught one of the employees giving them a strange look as they came out of the restroom. “Whatever,” he muttered, and when Xander asked “What is it?” he shook his head.
Outside, the Chevelle gleamed darkly under the parking lot lights. They got into the car.
Seth reached over and felt Xander’s head. “You’re a little warm.”
“It’s you, man. You make me that way.”
“How original.” Seth said it softly, leaned forward and kissed him, pushing closer. His hands roamed Xander’s back. Xan smelled like fresh laundry now that he’d washed and changed. Seth almost forgot himself, where they were, lost in Xander’s mouth, his heat. He opened his eyes a moment and saw the employee through the glass staring at them as if astonished.
The look on the guy’s face was too much. Seth laughed against Xander’s mouth.
Xander pulled back, confused, his mouth flushed and full.
Seth looked at him and his heart skipped a beat. “Jesus, look at you.”
“What?”
“I just–you.”
Xander still looked confused.
Seth changed the subject. “I think we should go to mom and dad’s house. They’re not far from here.”
“Baylor Street, right? But you told them you weren’t coming home this week.”
“So they’ll be pleasantly surprised.”
“With a guy in tow.” Xander fidgeted, fingers tapping against the steering wheel.
“So?”
“Didn’t you say your Mom’s in denial about you being gay? How happy do you think she’ll be to see me?”
“Well, it’s funny you should ask, because you’re assuming I’d tell them we’re, uh, seeing each other.”
Xander’s brows lowered.
Seth grinned. “Which is exactly what I’m going to do, so–look, we need sleep. And you’re still sick.”
Xander looked up and down the road. “We’re in tourist town. We could rent a place tonight.”
“Sure, and they’ll throw us out in the morning, and we’ve paid for a whole day for a few hours sleep. Let’s go.”
“I would argue some things are worth it, but shit, I’m extremely money-conscious.” Xander started the car, grumbling as they got closer to Seth’s house.
They turned onto Baylor Street a half-hour later and began the winding climb to Seth’s house. The lots grew larger as they drove, the houses further away from the road. Finally they came to a yard with an ornate bronze mailbox, Seth’s address embossed on one side. Xander drove up the concrete driveway, the tension ratcheting on his face as the seconds passed and the house appeared only in flashes.
The driveway curved. At last Seth’s home came into full view before the headlights: stone walls, three-storied and rambling over a stretch of land. Ivy climbed up one side.
Xander stopped the car. “Good Christ, are you rich?”
Seth shrugged. “My parents do okay.”
“If this is okay…well, I guess I don’t know much about money.”
They shut off the car and sat in silence, waiting to see if they’d been noticed. The sky was still dark. No lights came on in the house.
“C’mon, Xan.” Seth reached for the car door.
Xander grabbed his arm. “Let’s not wake them up, okay?”
Seth looked at Xander’s anxious face. He nodded. “Back seat, then?”
They scrambled over the front seat into the back. There wasn't enough room, but it didn't stop them from falling asleep, limbs entwined, exhausted.
Sunlight awakened them. They blinked and sat up, yawning and sighing, leather seats creaking.
This time when Seth opened the door, Xander followed reluctantly. Birds chirped high in the trees, and the air was cool and sweet. Xander halted on the walk leading to the front door. Seth tugged at his hand, finally turning.
“Necessary?” Xander asked, pleading.
Seth nodded slowly. He looked at the house again, a lump in his throat.
Xander noticed, jaw jumping with tension.
Seth sighed. “Okay. I won’t lie, it might not be easy. Mom doesn’t want to believe I’m gay, and Dad…who knows. I think he’s okay with it. It doesn’t matter. It’s time they face up to who I am and time I stop running away from them. I’m tired and my head’s a fucking mess and my boyfriend’s even worse. We need help, and I just need to make sure they’re okay with—with me.”
“Now’s the time for this? Now?” Xander looked ready to run.
Seth nodded.
Xander lifted a brow and nodded, too, as if in sympathy. “Naturally.” He paused. “Boyfriend, huh.” The corner of his mouth lifted, pleased, though his eyes still looked worried.
“Oh, yeah.” Seth nodded confidently.
Seth grabbed Xander's head, pulled him down and kissed him thoroughly. Xander relaxed gradually against him, sighing when Seth finally stepped back.
The front door opened. Seth’s mother stood at the door, his father just behind her. Xander looked at them and then stared at Seth, eyes wide. For all his size, he still looked every inch a panicked boy.
Seth smiled shakily, pulled him close and kissed him again.
22
SETH BROKE AWAY from Xander and faced his parents. His mother was a small woman with short, highlighted hair. She was wide-eyed, as discomfited as if Seth had never come out to her.
Seth’s dad broke the first, frozen moment, clearing his throat and blinking at his son. Seth met his eyes, flushing, a little pissed at himself because he felt the dull heat moving over his face and couldn’t stop it.
Seth’s father was tall and still fit, though soft at the edges. He had light hair and glasses that made him look owlish. “Come in,” he said simply. He touched his wife’s arm. They stood to one side of the door, waiting.
“Mom, Dad, this is my boyfriend, Xander. Xander, these are my parents, Norma and David Mayfair.” Seth stood still on the walkway. It was stupid, introducing Xander from outside the house, but he found himself unable to move.
Xander took a deep breath, stepped over the doorsill and held his hand out to Norma. “Mrs. Mayfair, it’s nice to meet you.”
Seth gawped at him, amazed. He sounded so confident. Where the hell had that come from?
Norma’s eyes were still lemur-sized. “You’re Seth’s…boyfriend?” She sounded slightly breathy. Like she’d been punched in the gut, maybe.
“I am. Seth’s talked a lot about you and Mr. Mayfair.”
Norma looked at Xander’s hand, then seemed to realize she hadn’t taken it yet and did. Xander exhaled a slightly shaky breath, turned to David and they shook. David looked bemused.