The Lightning Conjurer

by Rachel Rener

  “Tafsik,” I muttered, pressing my forehead to the wall. “Enough.”

  The goosebumps that covered my body were only partially from the cold. I hated myself for letting myself think those thoughts, especially after my conversation with Aiden. My friend. Her fiancé. Oy, I grimaced. It had been so much easier to keep my mind focused when I was with Kaylie. Whenever it started to wander into dangerous Aspen territory, I had an outlet. A curvy, lusty, possibly psychotic outlet. But now, without that distraction and without Aiden watching me like a hawk… And knowing her hotel room was literally right across the hall, just thirty steps away…

  I let out another groan. Right now, my brain was definitely heading into dangerous territory. But I didn’t care. My free hand moved without my permission, sliding down my stomach, down, down, to the place that could provide me with at least some temporary release. I knew it was wrong, that using the thought of her in such a way would only make things worse at the end of the day. But as horny American guys like to say, I was so pent up, and my soapy hand felt so good sliding up and—

  “Ori?” A voice called. “Are you in here?”

  I yanked my hand away, feeling the blood travel from between my thighs and rush back up to my face. I quickly turned off the shower and yanked the towel from the rack, wrapping it around my hips just in time to see Aspen step in front of the open bathroom door. Her eyes met mine and for the briefest moment, I could swear she was surveying my almost naked body.

  “Oh God, I’m sorry!” she cried, turning around. “I was knocking and knocking, but the music was turned up so loudly—”

  I glanced down. Lemaann hashem, the stupid towel was so thin, there was no way she hadn’t noticed the bulge between my legs. Hell, she could probably even confirm that I’d been circumcised. I frantically conjured up images of sweaty sumo wrestlers and rabid Chihuahuas as I picked up my cellphone from the bathroom counter to mute the techno music I’d been blasting to unsuccessfully try to clear my head.

  “Nothing to be sorry for,” I grinned stupidly. Well, actually, I was pretty sorry that she wasn’t the one in the skimpy towel.

  She glanced at me over her shoulder, making my stomach do a flip. “I can just come back later—”

  I clicked my teeth. “You act like you’ve never seen a man in a towel before. Stay. I’ll get dressed. You’re welcome to sit on the bed,” I added when I realized that both chairs in the room were occupied by damp clothes and an open suitcase.

  “Are you sure? Because—”

  I grabbed her by the shoulders and steered her to the edge of the bed, gently pushing her down. She gazed up at me with those big beautiful eyes and I had a momentary flash of indecency – her greedily ripping off my towel, me pushing her onto the bed, my knees on either side of her hips, my mouth…

  Tafsik, I warned myself. Stop it. With a silent sigh, I took a step backwards. My feet felt like they weighed fifty kilograms each, they wanted so badly to go in the opposite direction. But I did it… Not that it felt like much of a success.

  She watched me, the wary expression on her face mirroring my own. I knew she could read her mother’s thoughts, could tap into Aiden’s with little effort, though she actively chose not to. Could she hear my own errand errant thoughts? Sense the feelings that were becoming more and more difficult to hide? Elohim, I hoped not, because if she could, I would be humiliated. Humiliated and probably dead, since her Level-three Pyromancer boyfriend clearly wasn’t a fan of sharing fiancées.

  “Ori…” she started.

  I could feel the heat in my cheeks and quickly turned away, striding toward my open suitcase. I took out a pair of black boxer briefs and quickly pulled them up before dropping my towel to the ground. It’s possible she got a glimpse of more than she asked for, but if she was looking, it was her own fault. After pulling on a pair of pricey designer jeans that gave me a “great ass,” according to Kaylie, I turned to look at Aspen once more. Her eyes took in my bare chest then dropped to her lap. I felt a hot stone settling in my belly. I should have sent her back to her hotel room, got dressed, then met her in the lobby to talk. I should have done these things for Aiden, my brother. For the sake of chivalry. But in that moment, chivalry was a faraway thought.

  “Your speech was fantastic,” she smiled, finally looking up. Her eyes were locked on mine as though she refused to look down.

  “Yours was better,” I replied, leaning against the wall. She scoffed. “Seriously. They love you, Aspen. It should

  be you up there, not me.”

  She forced a small smile. “You’re going to make the best minister, Ori. I believe in you. You have this way of… of bringing people together. Of lighting up a room. You’re so willing to sacrifice yourself for the greater good.”

  I raised an eyebrow. “What is that saying you Americans overuse? Pots and kettles?”

  This time, she let out a genuine laugh. “Fair point.”

  I chewed on the inside of my lip. I loved her laugh. Whenever I heard it, I wanted nothing more than to make her laugh again. Instead, I ran my hands through my wet hair. “Did you see the signs in the back?” I asked. “And those chants!”

  She nodded solemnly. “That’s what I came to talk to you about. There were… more of them than I expected. And what was that black symbol in the top corner of their signs? Could you make it out?”

  I shook my head. “They were too far. But I didn’t like it. It reminded me of… other things.” Like swastikas.

  Perceptive as always, she bit her lip. My spine stiffened. I wanted nothing more than to rush forward and take that lip between my teeth.

  Stop it.

  “Ori.”

  My eyes flew to hers.

  Aspen rose from the bed. “We need to talk.”

  The walls around me flew up faster than a Chinese construction company on a deadline. “We are talking,” I grinned. “Would you prefer we switch to a different language? I’ve got Hebrew, a bit of Arabic, a little Farsi…”

  Her chest rose in a deep sigh. Thank God she’d changed out of that dress and into a t-shirt and jeans. Not that it helped much. “We need to talk about us.”

  My throat felt tight. “What do you mean?”

  She stood up and walked toward me, stopping in the middle of the room. I shoved my hands in my pockets so she wouldn’t notice them shaking.

  “Ori, I… I care about you. So much. And I…” she frowned at the floor, clearly choosing her words carefully. “I’ve been fighting with myself.”

  “Fighting with yourself?” I coughed out a laugh. “That seems like a lose-lose situation.” Elohim, that stone in my stomach had grown to the size of a brick.

  Aspen took another deep breath, straightening as she did. “I’ve been fighting with myself because there are things I want to say to you. Things that could… hurt. More than one of us.”

  I crossed my arms in front of my chest. Had the room grown colder or was it just me? “Well, my aunt always used to tell me to stick with the Golden Rule. Better not to say things that hurt. I vote we stick to topics like pandas and chocolate.”

  “Ori, look. The feelings you have… well, they’re not entirely unreciprocated.”

  My head shot up.

  “Hear me out.” She held her hands up. “When we first met, I was… lost. Naïve and sheltered. My thoughts revolved around finding my family, my identity, just figuring out how to survive. Now that I’m better, I…” she stopped and chewed on her lip again. The gesture was driving me crazy.

  Silence fell and I could hear my own heart drumming in my ears. There was no way this was happening. Aspen, confessing her feelings for me? Could it be possible? No. It couldn’t be. And yet… what was she saying?

  She let out a shaky breath. “Ori, you’re so funny. You make me laugh when it should be impossible to smile. Your friendship has come to mean more to me than – than most. You saved my mother’s life. And I’ve never properly thanked you for that.”

  “I’d do anything if it meant prot
ecting you. Making you happy.” My voice sounded rough.

  When she looked up at me, she had tears in her eyes. My heart stopped. This was happening. This was actually happening. The smell of ionization filled the air, like lightning might strike at any minute. Was that me, or her?

  She took a long and shaky breath before she spoke again. “I can’t honestly say that I don’t find you attractive.”

  If I hadn’t been paralyzed with shock, my jaw would have fallen to the ground. I wanted to speak, to open my mouth and say something, but only Hebrew came to my mind.

  From the time you conjured that first bolt of lightning, I knew.

  There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you.

  My heart belongs to you.

  “And I tell you this not to cause problems or to hurt you, but to validate your feelings.”

  Wait… hurt me?

  “I can’t deny that my feelings for you border on more than friendship. I care about you like a brother. Maybe more. You’re one of the most amazing men I’ve ever met, but…”

  But. That single word – those three tiny letters – sucked all of the air from my lungs.

  “But… I love Aiden. In ways I could never explain or even understand, I love him. He completes me in a way I never thought possible. Before him, I never believed in soulmates. But I know, deep in my heart and soul, that he’s the one for me. And if we all make it through this in one piece… I’m going to marry him. As soon as we get home, if he’ll agree. And, Ori… I want your blessing. I want to know that you’ll be okay. That we’ll be okay. Because I can’t imagine my life without you. I love you. As a friend, as a brother, as one of my most favorite people in the world, I love you…” She trailed off, staring deep into my eyes as though she was trying to measure my response.

  The hot stone in my stomach had turned to ice. I don’t know what it was. Nothing she said surprised me, except for the part where she admitted that she maybe cared about me more than a friend. But hearing her say it out loud, hearing her acknowledge it, only to point out her true love for Aiden… Something in me broke. Whatever brittle casing was around my heart shattered like hot glass meeting cold air.

  Too long had passed. I needed to say something. But what? With a shrug, I turned around, reached into my suitcase, and pulled out a black thermal shirt. I pulled it over my head as I took several steps toward her, stopping when she was within an arm’s reach. “You didn’t need to tell me any of that,” I said, doing everything I could to keep my voice calm. Cool and calm. Cool and calm, I repeated the words in my head again and again.

  Her expression turned to pity. “You needed to know. And I felt like I owed you my honesty. I couldn’t let whatever this is,” she gestured between us, “continue to cause pain or confusion.”

  “This?” I repeated, feeling both the cool and the calm leaving my voice. “You mean, the feelings I have for you? The feelings you just admitted that you return in some small way?”

  Pity turned to guilt. “I already told you—”

  “That you love Aiden more, I get it.” I took another step closer. Cool and calm were definitely out the window. Probably landed somewhere on the sidewalk sixteen floors below. “He got there first. He was there when you were putting yourself back together. He filled in all those little cracks with glue and made you whole again.” By now, I was standing very close to her, my toes nearly touching her sneakers. I was breathing hard when I looked into her eyes.

  “Ori—” she warned.

  “I’m not going to get between the two of you, Aspen. If you want to marry the guy, I wish you all of the best. But before you take that leap, you should know something first.”

  She gazed up at me, her eyes searching mine. I knew what I needed to do. I needed to take a step back, let her know that I respected her decision and that we were fine. That we would always be friends, no matter what. That I could be okay with loving her like a sister and nothing more.

  That’s what I needed to do. But it wasn’t what I wanted.

  My mouth closed the short distance between our lips, parting just enough to taste her for a brief, greedy moment. A hot spark crackled where our mouths connected, like Lightning. Aspen’s eyes widened and she let out a gasp – but she didn’t yank away. I stiffened. She tasted like honey and milk and her lips – elohim, they were so soft, so warm against mine. I wanted to wrap her in my arms and drink her beauty and inhale that intoxicating scent that made my insides erupt like lava.

  Then Aiden’s face appeared in my mind.

  Something cold like ice trickled down my back. I don’t know which of us pulled away first, me or Aspen, but the last thing I remember before turning and running out of my own hotel room were her wide, shocked eyes, flashing like a lightning storm in the night.

  Chapter 11

  eeling muddled and dazed as the first – and last – time I’d tried hashish, I stood in the elevator trying to piece together what had just happened. My stomach sank lower and lower, figuratively and literally, since the elevator was going down. It didn’t take long for the fog to clear but when it did, I wanted to vomit. What had I done? To Aspen? To Aiden? To our friendship? To their relationship?

  “Oh, God,” I moaned. What was I doing? I couldn’t just run away. I mean, I wanted to run away. But then things would definitely go sour, and once wine turns to vinegar there’s no amount of sugar that will turn it back to wine.

  I had to go tend to my grapes.

  Before the elevator even reached the lobby, I jumped out on the fourth floor and punched the up button repeatedly until the other elevator arrived. An annoyingly cheerful chime greeted me as I assaulted the ‘16’ button until, and well after, the doors closed. When they finally opened again on our floor, I ran down the corridor towards my room where my magnetic card and I fought a losing battle against the electronic lock. When I burst through the door a minute later, Aspen had already left. Cursing at myself, I bolted across the hall to her room and knocked. And knocked. And knocked.

  “Aspen!” I yelled. “Aspen?” No answer.

  “Oh God, oh God, oh God,” I groaned against the doorframe. I wanted to bang my head against it but there was no time. I had to catch her before she left. Maybe for good.

  With another curse, I turned around and ran back to my room. When the electronic lock didn’t click open right away, I gave it an impatient jolt of Lightning that may or may not have fried the whole unit. Another curse and then a not-so-gentle Krav Maga kick smashed the door open. My cell phone was sitting on the bathroom counter where I’d left it. I grabbed it, intending to call Aspen and immediately apologize several thousand times. But the moment my thumb touched the unlock button, a video call came in.

  “Mei!” I almost shouted as her face appeared on the screen.

  She frowned. “Ori-san, what’s wrong?”

  “Uh, can I call you back? Now’s kind of a bad—”

  “Ori-san.” She shifted the phone, flashing a brief glimpse of Aspen’s face. Oh God. Oh God, oh God, oh God. “I need you to please come downstairs right away. Rowan-san and I just sat down in the Sakura meeting room beneath the lobby. The three of us need to talk.”

  “Um,” I replied, my mind turning blank. “Do you mean right right now, Minister?”

  She raised an eyebrow. “I’m very sorry, Ori-san. But yes. It is urgent. Please come quickly.” She shifted the phone again and I could see she was sitting at a long table with Aspen seated in the chair just beside her. The ladder latter didn’t look up.

  “I’ll, um… I’ll be right there,” I replied, then winced. The wheeze in my voice made it sound like I was having an asthma attack.

  “Hai, jaa ne,” Mei replied, slipping into Japanese as she hung up. Yep, she was stressed. Or pissed. It was always hard to tell with her.

  I rubbed my forehead with the heel of my hands. If Mei was going to revoke my candidacy due to my own terrible, creepy, idiot behavior, I deserved it. And more. Maybe she and Aspen would slap me around a little bit for kissing
my best friend’s fiancée without her or his permission.

  “Oh, God,” I moaned as I grabbed my wool coat from the chair. When I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, I cringed. My damp curls were a mess. My jacket collar was crooked. And I definitely had the crazy-eyed look of a madman.

  “Nidefaqeti,” I muttered, snatching the magnetic card key for my room – unnecessary, since the lock was broken – just before slamming the door behind me.

  Simple translation: I was so fucked.

  ***

  When I stumbled inside the meeting room, I was panting and out of breath. Mei’s two female attendants standing at the door gave me an odd look. Couldn’t imagine why.

  “H-Hey, everyone,” I waved lamely. “What’d I miss?”

  Mei made a motion for me to sit. I took my seat across from her and Aspen, who still wouldn’t look at me. When one of the attendants came over and poured me a cup of green tea, I didn’t look up to thank her and I didn’t touch the cup because my hands were shaking so much.

  “Ori-san,” Mei began. “Something terrible has happened.”

  The memory of Aspen’s wide, shocked eyes popped in my head. “I know,” I blurted out. “That was so stupid of me. And I’m so sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking. Honestly, I wasn’t even thinking to begin with—”

  “This is about our friends,” Aspen interjected, giving me a sharp look.

  “Oh.” My mouth snapped shut. Hey, at least she was making eye contact again.

  Mei looked confused, then made a cough sound. “I wanted to let you both know that we’ve lost contact with the team in Shirakawa-go. May I assume that you haven’t heard from any of them in the last several hours?”

  We both shook our heads.

  The minister sighed. “The last message I received from Kumiko-san was that they had found the villagers. It was a twenty-second long audio clip that cut out abruptly. We can’t say for certain, but we have reason to believe they may have been attacked.”