by Kelli Walker
Every night, he drops a comment about how much he wants me to stop working there. How much he would like it if I could just come back to work at The Last Call and forget about anything else. And honestly, it is tempting; it isn’t that working at the other bar is horrible or anything, but it’s boring, and I don’t get half the tips that I did at the old place. And I know that Gavin isn’t making the same that I could there, either. After all, he’s a dude, and dudes don’t tend to give dudes quite the same sweetness for giving them a big smile and laughing at their jokes, do they?
But anyway. We both have incomes, and that’s all that matters right now. It’s not going to take long before we have made enough to get the house all fixed up, and then Gavin will be all healed up and back to the Marines, and I can come back to work for Lux and...
Hmm. And what? Because I don’t know what’s going to come after that. I like him, there’s no doubt about that, and that tense, flirty chemistry that the two of us have is getting harder and harder for me to deny. Maybe I don’t want to deny it any longer. Maybe I want him to drive me home every single night from his bar so that I can just spend the evening at his place. I don’t know what my family would think of it. Hell, at least I know that my brother already likes him, right...?
“Honey, Lux is here!” Momma calls to me, and I rise up from the sun lounger, a little irritated that I’m going to have to break my carefully cultivated image to come inside. I grab a wrap and toss it over my bikini, making sure that my legs are still showing underneath. I know those are the parts of me that he can’t resist, and I want to see just how he’ll react when he sees me like this.
I make my way into the kitchen, and sure enough, Lux is standing there with a beer in his hand, leaning on the counter like old times. It’s a little bit of a shock seeing him here; it is as though I have walked in on something that I know I shouldn’t have. It's just strange, given how much sneaking around the two of us have been doing, to see him standing there before me like he’s belonged there from the start.
“Hey, Lux,” I greet him, and he glances over at me. As soon as he sees what I am wearing, his eyes trace up and down my body, and he smiles at me.
“Hey, Van,” he replies. “Long time, no see. You’re looking...good.”
“So are you,” I reply, and I notice a furrow in Gavin’s brow, and swiftly look away from Lux once more. I don’t want to blow this. Not when we are getting so close to actually being able to have him in the house without us hiding any longer. I wish that I could just go to him now and wrap my arms around his shoulders, plant a kiss on his lips, but I know that even if Gavin wasn’t here right now, it would be strange. The two of us aren’t even officially dating, and I’m not sure he sees me as anything other than someone who needs his help, anyway.
And then, my mind flashes back to the night that we hooked up in his truck, and I have to bite back a little thrill of excitement at the thought of it. I know that we are far more than just friends.
“Would you like a beer?” Momma asks as she bustles through from the living room with a smile on her face. I know that she must be just pleased as punch to have Lux around again. She always thrives when other people are in the house, and, after the stress of everything that has happened, I know that she must be glad for the distraction.
“I’m okay,” I reply. I know that if I get a drink or two in me, I’m going to want to sneak off with Lux, and, with only four of us in the house, it’s going to be hard to do that without getting caught.
“I think I’m just going to go outside and get some sun,” I remark.
“That sounds like a great idea!” my mom agrees. “Why don’t you boys come out and join us? Oh, Lux, it’s so nice to see you again. We really can’t let so much time pass before we do this again...”
So, the four of us head outside to the front yard, where the sun is beating down beautifully on the green grass below. The one good thing about dealing with a leak on the scale that we have is that all the excess water drains into the ground, which means that all our plants are the lushest on the block.
But I’m not much thinking about the state of our greenery right now. I let the cover-up slip from my shoulders, and I take up my position on the sun lounger once again. I know that this is some ridiculous, high school level stuff, but I’m okay with it. The thought of his eyes on me, the idea of him not being able to resist sneaking a look in my direction, turns me on more than I would care to admit.
I close my eyes and let the warmth of the sun caress my body as I listen to the three of them talking. I can make out all the words they’re saying, but the sound of it just washes over me as I lie there. I want nothing more than to feel his eyes on me, and I know that he is watching me right now. I don’t even have to glance in his direction to be sure of it. I can feel him watching me, I can feel him wanting me, and I know that everything that I am doing is driving him crazy.
It’s just the way I imagined it. I know that this is dangerous, me basically flirting with him right in front of my brother, but it’s hard for me to care when all I can think about is getting his hands all over me once more. I don’t know how to ask him outright, so instead, I’m going to do everything that I can to seduce him without so much as saying a word to him. And I'm sure I’m starting to crack that code, even as I lie there in the warmth of the sun, listening to my family.
How is it that I can feel so alive when I know I can’t so much as lay a hand on him without getting caught? I’m not sure what it is, but there is something thrilling about knowing that we have to keep this under wraps, that, if we were exposed, everything could come crashing down around us. I can’t stop thinking about the day that he fucked me in his truck, the weight of his body against mine. I knew, at that moment, what it was like to be really wanted by someone, to be needed in some deep and profound way, and ever since then, the reality of that want had been more than I am sure that I can take.
I have wondered for a long time what it would be like for me to fall for someone. I didn’t think it would happen like this. I never imagined that it would feel the way that this does, that it would make the hair on the back of my neck stand on end because I know that I am doing something wrong. The danger is what excites me the most, even though I am loathe to admit it, even to myself. The knowledge that, at any moment, someone could glance over at the two of us and work out that there was something there, even if we tried to do everything right.
I reach my arms over my head and stretch, letting out a little sigh, and sneak a look at Lux from under my shades. Sure enough, he is glancing over at me, though he is trying his best to pretend like he isn’t. I let a small smile curl up my lips and allow my head to lower to one side, as though I don’t even notice the way that he is watching me right now. I just so happen to be lying around here in a bikini, all sexy, showing myself off for nobody in particular. I know that my mom must be perplexed. After all, she knows how self-conscious I can be about the way I look. If only she knew what my confidence-booster happened to be...
The rest of the afternoon passes in one of those warm, summery hazes, the kind that feels as though they are going to last forever and a day. I know that Lux isn’t going to be able to keep his hands off me as soon as he gets me alone again. I have a shift on Monday night, and I am sure that he is going to come by, pick me up, and toss me into the back of his truck to take me right there and then. Not that I’m going to be complaining even a little bit when he does.
By the time that evening starts to fall, I am pretty sure that all three of them are a little tipsy. Mom and Gavin head inside to order some food, and I prop myself up on one arm so that I can look at Lux.
“You must be getting cold,” he remarks, trying to keep his voice even, and I smile at him.
“Not really,” I reply. “Why? You want me to put some more clothes on?”
“Quite the opposite,” he murmurs. And, glancing over his shoulder to make sure that nobody is going to catch him in the act, he moves over to the sun loung
er to join me and slides his hand behind my neck. Slowly, he lowers his mouth down to mine, kissing me softly, letting his tongue trace against my lips. I feel the heat of everything that has been building between us begin to lift. God, I need this man. I need this man more than I ever thought it was possible to need anyone. To call it desire would be to weaken just how perfect and powerful this feeling is. It's far more than just simple lust. There is something else here, something that I can’t quite find a way to put into words, but I know that the only thing that matters is that he feels it, too...
And then, we both hear the kitchen door shut, and he springs back from me at once. I can still feel the pressure of his lips on mine, the fingerprints that he pressed against my bare thigh, and I have to catch my breath, hoping that my flushed cheeks don’t give too much more away than I want them to.
“Are you guys alright?” Gavin asks, and I can hear the hint of suspicion in his voice. Okay, we’re going to need to be a hell of a lot more careful in the future, because if he figures out what’s going on, then we’re going to be in some major trouble.
“We’re fine,” Lux replies. “Can’t believe it’s been so long since I was last here. What’s up with that, man? You trying to cut me out of your life?”
And the two of them go back to joshing each other playfully, smiling and bouncing jokes off one another. I hope that Lux has done enough to deflect anything that Gavin might have been thinking about the two of us. Because the last thing I want is to be exposed right now. Not when things are just starting to get so damn fun...
Lux
“Hey, Lux, I need to talk to you.”
As soon as I hear Gavin’s voice, I know that he is leaving no room for me to argue with him. I might be his boss on paper, but he is still my friend in reality, and if he wants to talk, then he’s going to. I look up from my laptop and give him a smile.
“What’s up, brother?” I ask him, but I can already tell from the look on his face that he isn’t interested in cutting me a single inch of slack right about now. I feel a cold rush of dread run down my back. Shit. Is this about...?
“We need to talk about my sister,” he tells me, and I furrow my brow at him.
“What do you mean?”
“Come on, dude, don’t act like you’ve suddenly got no idea,” he replies. “I saw the way that you looked at her when you were at our place at the weekend. And I’m not stupid.”
I get up and close the door behind him, not wanting any of the staff to overhear this conversation. The last thing I need right now is for someone to catch wind of what is going on and start spreading more rumors around to try and muddy the waters.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I reply, keeping my face straight and my tone as even as I can.
“Yes, you do,” he snaps back, and I can tell that he is starting to get seriously pissed with me. Maybe he has good reason to. Maybe this is called for right now. But I don’t want to have this conversation with him, not when I have no idea what is happening between his sister and me in the first place.
I haven’t been able to stop thinking about her since the moment that I arrived at their place over the weekend. She was laying out in a bikini on this old sun lounger, and I knew that she had done it to put on a show for me. And hell, how can I not react to that? Her body is perfect: long and lean and muscular in all the right places. It took every bit of restraint that I have not to just climb on top of her and take her right there and then. I know that was what she was daring me to do. She wanted me to want her, and she enjoyed the fact that I have a hard time keeping my hands to myself when she is around. Knowing just how forbidden she is, that made it even harder to do what I knew I had to if I was going to make sure that nothing that is happening between us gets exposed. Not to her brother, and not to anyone else.
“Tell me what I know,” I shoot back, crossing my arms over my chest and leaning against the desk. That’s the problem when you get a couple of ex-military in the same room. It all becomes down to who can put on the bigger show; I am sure that neither of us is going to back down until we are confident that our point has been made.
“I saw the way that you were looking at her when you were at my place over the weekend,” he tells me, trying his best to keep his voice even. Still, I can tell that the anger is threatening to come busting out of him. I almost want it to; all the tension in my gut has been stirring, needing a release, and until I can get my hands on Vanessa later tonight, it’s got no place to go.
“I’m not stupid, I know what that look means,” he continues. “It’s the same way those creeps at the bar look at the girls who work here. It means that they want a piece of them, and I can’t believe that you really think you could get away with that in front of me. With my own sister.”
He finishes up, and he is breathing hard, and I can tell that it took everything that he had in him not to fire something sharper in my direction. I knew that if I had been anything other than his best friend, he would have done just that. I almost want to dare him to try, but I know that it’s a bad idea. I don’t need to push things any further than they have already gone.
“What about it?” I reply. “Your sister’s a grown woman now. Men are going to look at her sometimes. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
“I can’t stop other people wanting her,” he concedes. “But you know that it’s different when it comes to you and me. You know that. You’ve always understood that. I know that you like her, but—”
“Hey, where did you get that from?” I protest. I’m pissed, pissed that he seems to know what is going on inside my head better than I do. How long has he known that I’ve been crushing on his sister? How long was he going to wait before he decided to tell me about it?
“I’ve known for a long time, even if you haven’t,” he explains. “I can tell it from the way you look at her. Hell, Mom and I had bets on when you were finally going to make a move, but seeing the way you were with her before…I don’t want that. I don’t want you getting involved with her. I know that she’s inexperienced, and I know that you’re not, and there’s no way in hell that I’m letting her get close to someone who could hurt her.”
“I would never hurt her,” I tell him, a flash of anger rushing through my system. He shakes his head.
“You might not mean to,” he agrees. “But you have a habit of hurting people, Lux. That’s what both of us are trained to do, and you know it.”
“Yeah, but not when it comes to people like her,” I argue with him, but I can tell that he has already made his mind up. I have to bite back the flood of fury that is threatening to overtake me, but I know it is only there because I know that he is right. As much as it annoys me, as much as it burns me, I have never been with someone long-term, never really fallen in love with anyone. And that means that all of this is new to me. I can see why he wouldn’t want his sister to get involved with someone who has the capacity to hurt her. Even if it is his best friend.
“I’m asking you, Lux,” he tells me, looking me dead in the eye. “I’m asking you, so I don’t have to tell you later. You understand me? You touch her...”
He trails off and shakes his head. I know what he is telling me. He is making it clear that if I come near his sister, he will have to take action that he doesn’t want to take. This is the last warning he’s going to give me. This is the gauntlet laid down in front of me. A fair warning that I can maintain our friendship, but only as long as I play by his rules.
And it burns me up inside. It burns me that Gavin has this power over me, over Vanessa. But I know that if I ignore him, it’s not just going to be my ass on the line. No, his sister is going to pay for it, too, and there’s no way that I’m going to put her through that. The last thing she needs is for me to put a wedge between her and her family. The last thing she needs is for whatever we have to get in the way of what matters most to her.
“I hear you,” I tell him, finally, even though it takes everything I have not to keep arguing
with him. “I hear you. Point taken.”
He lets out a long breath and nods, and, for a moment, I see the teenager that I knew when we were both growing up together. The guy who would do anything to protect his family, no matter what. The man who wants to make sure that his mom and his sister have everything that they could possibly need, and will do anything to ensure that, one way or another.
“Thank you,” he replies, but his voice is still a little taut. I know it’s going to take a while before he accepts that this is actually behind us, but that’s okay. All that matters is that he feels as though he has gotten his point across, and I am happy to take a moment to let him get there.
“I think you’ve got work to do,” I tell him, and he grins at me, finally breaking the tension.
“I think you’re right,” he agrees. “Thanks for listening to me, man. I appreciate it.”
“Any time,” I reply, and he steps out of the office and closes the door behind him. I sigh heavily as soon as I hear the lock click, and I wonder what the hell I am meant to do with this new wrinkle in the mess of what I have gotten involved with.
But I know that I have to listen to him. I might not like it, but he’s going to kick up a stink that’s bigger than Vanessa or me if he finds out what has been going on between us. Every moment I don’t nip it in the bud, I’m giving it room to thrive, and I need to put a stop to that now.
So, it’s with a sinking feeling that I commit to that notion once and for all. I am going to have to put a stop to what is happening between us. I don’t know how I am going to be able to do that when all I want is to pull her into my arms and forget that the rest of the world exists.
Vanessa
I wave to him happily as I emerge from the bar, but as soon as I see the look on his face, I am sure there is something wrong.