The Truth About Secrets

by L. P. Dover

  I shook my head. “I can handle it. I promise.” I sat down on the weight bench. “I didn’t realize how hard it was going to be to see her again. I thought I’d moved on until she said her boyfriend was coming to town next week to see her.”

  My mother walked over and squeezed my shoulder. “You know I’m not the superstitious type, but there’s a reason you both came to town at the same time. I think you should talk to her. Boyfriend or not, you can’t let that stand in your way. Don’t get me wrong, I’m on your side, but I’ve always thought there was something going on behind the scenes with you and Clara. Something never added up right and I couldn’t place my finger on it. Now that she’s here, it’s your chance to figure it all out.”

  “We’ll see,” was all I could say. She was right. After Clara left town, everything was good until I couldn’t get in touch with her anymore. She shut me out of everything; it was as if she blocked me from every aspect of her life. I’d even saved up enough money to fly to Paris to find her, only it was like trying to pinpoint a needle in a haystack. After that, I gave up. It was obvious that Clara didn’t want to be found.

  “What are you going to do about the pink?” my mother asked, peering at the hot pink walls.

  Looking around the room, I smiled. “I think I’ll keep it the way it is. Now if I decide to sell the place, I’ll paint over it. Until then, it stays.”

  She giggled. “I kind of like it. At least she did a good job painting it.”

  Clara was never one to half ass anything. When she did something, she did it right. Grabbing the bag of finger condoms, I walked over to the door. “Do you want to take some lasagna home for you and dad? I have almost a whole pan in the oven and there’s no way I can eat it all.”

  She followed me up the stairs. “Sure. Now that I know you didn’t get sick,” she said, laughing. When we got upstairs, I pulled the lasagna out of the oven and packed her half of it to take home. Placing her hand on my face, she kissed me on the cheek. “I love you, Zachary. Just don’t do anything stupid when Clara’s boyfriend comes into town.”

  “Don’t worry,” I said, “I won’t.”

  The last thing I wanted to see was Clara with her A-list boyfriend walking around town as if they owned the place, but if I could make things interesting, I was going to do it. Adrian Norwood was going to see that he didn’t belong in Snowy Creek. If he took Clara with him, then so be it.

  11

  Clara

  My dad and I watched movies for most of the night, at least until he started to get sick. We knew his time was going to come. I’d just hoped and prayed it wouldn’t. My mother was mentally exhausted and I knew she needed the rest. That was why I took it upon myself to stay up with my dad as he ran back and forth to the bathroom. I was so afraid he would get dehydrated, so I basically forced him to drink as much water as he could muster. Seeing him so weak hurt my heart. Not wanting him to see me cry, I held my tears at bay. By five o’clock in the morning, I helped him into his bed beside my mother and ended up crying myself to sleep.

  When I woke up, I thought I’d beaten my alarm clock, but when I looked at my phone, the time read half past eight. I was supposed to be at Zac’s thirty minutes ago. My eyes felt like sandpaper and my chest still hurt from crying so much. Groaning, I jumped out of bed and grabbed a pair of gym shorts and a tank top out of my suitcase. I already knew I would be working in the barn.

  Rushing into my bathroom, I brushed my teeth and quickly threw my hair up into a messy bun. I wanted to see how my dad was doing before I left. The smell of coffee filled the air, and I wished to hell that I drank the stuff just so I could get a caffeine rush. I really needed it. What I also needed was some makeup to help with my puffy eyes, but there was no time for that.

  Once downstairs, my mother was in the kitchen with a solemn expression on her face when she saw me. She could obviously tell I’d had a night of crying. Without saying a word, she walked over to me and pulled me in for a hug. “Thank you for taking care of your dad last night, Clara. I didn’t realize how tired I was.”

  My eyes burned. “How’s he doing?”

  She rubbed my back. “He’s still asleep.”

  I let her go. “Make sure he drinks lots of water or Gatorade or something today. We don’t want him getting dehydrated. If he’s still going back and forth to the bathroom, you might want to call his doctor to get him in for some IV fluids.”

  She nodded. “On it. He told me this morning he’s been trying to drink but his nausea is really bad. I’m going to call his doctor anyway to see if they’ll get him some anti-nausea meds.”

  I hated that my mother had to handle all of that on her own. She was a strong and persistent woman, but I could already feel the toll of my father’s illness wearing on her. Even myself. I worried about him constantly.

  My mother looked over at the microwave clock. “Aren’t you running late?”

  Sighing, I grabbed a bottle of water out of the refrigerator. “Just a little. Tell Dad I love him, and call me if you need me.”

  She blew me a kiss. “Will do, sweetheart. Go.”

  My stomach growled, but there was no time to eat. Instead, I guzzled my water and hurried over to Zac’s house. His garage doors were open and all three of his cars were there. I already knew he wanted me in the barn, so I didn’t even bother going to his door. I went straight to the barn and led all three horses out to the pasture so they could run around while I cleaned their stalls. Maybe there was a chance Zac didn’t know I was late. Not that it mattered anyway. I’d done more than my fair share of work for him.

  Grabbing the rake off of the tool rack, I went straight to work. I could see why Dirty Girl had her name. Out of all three of the horses, she was the messiest. I raked through all the straw and added in more clean straw once the manure had been scooped out. I was about to start on Cooper’s stall when I caught movement out of the corner of my eye.

  “Ran a little late this morning, didn’t you?” Zac called out.

  I didn’t even bother looking at him as he entered the barn. “Sorry,” was all I could think of to say. My arms felt like Jell-O, and it took all I had not to climb in the pile of clean hay and go to sleep. I didn’t care if I was in a barn. Sleep was sleep and I needed it.

  Zac chuckled. “Guess you’ll have to stay late to make up the time you lost.”

  Clenching my teeth, I continued to work on Cooper’s stall. I was too tired to banter back and forth. My heart and mind definitely weren’t into it, even if I did want to tell Zac to shut the hell up and leave me alone. If I ignored him, maybe he’d go away. At least, that was what I hoped. Did I always get what I wanted? Nope.

  “What’s wrong, Clara?” he provoked. “Not very talkative this morning? Having trouble with the boyfriend?”

  Gritting my teeth harder, I took in a deep breath and slowly let it out. “Will you please leave me alone this morning? I’m not in the mood for your crap.”

  “My crap?” he repeated, bursting out with laughter. “I’m just asking questions.”

  “Questions that I don’t give a damn about answering,” I snapped back. “And again, my life is none of your business.”

  I made the mistake of looking at him with my red, swollen eyes. He smirked, and I could feel all the pain inside of me bubble just underneath the surface. I felt like I was one snide comment away from losing my composure.

  Zac’s smile widened. “Somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. Drink too much? You look like hell.”

  That was the tipping point. I didn’t realize how much I kept buried inside of me until now. It was everything from my anger toward him to the sadness about my father. They all combined into one huge emotion and I couldn’t control it anymore.

  My cheeks burned hot, and my heart pounded so relentlessly hard that I thought it’d explode. Taking the rake, I scooped up the large pile of manure in front of me and flung it at Zac. His eyes widened and he shouted as he jumped out of the way. Unfortunately, none of i
t splattered on him.

  “What the hell are you doing?” he growled, staring at me like I lost my mind. It felt like I had. I was both mentally and physically drained.

  I tossed the rake onto the ground. “That was my way of telling you to back off.” I stepped toward him, clenching my hands into tight fists. “Want to know why I was late, asshole? Maybe it’ll teach you to think twice before opening your stupid mouth.” His smile faded, and it was the first time I saw regret on his face. Tears filled my eyes as I closed the distance between us. I didn’t want to tell him about my father, but there was no other way. “My father has stage four cancer,” I spat angrily. “It’s the only reason why I’m in town. He was sick all through the night and I took care of him.” Zac sighed and opened his mouth to speak, but I threw up a hand to stop him. “I don’t need your pity or whatever the hell you were going to say.”

  I didn’t want to look at him, but I couldn’t stop myself. Long gone was the mischievous glint in his eyes. He stared at me with such regret and heartbreak in those hazel eyes of his. It was as if the old Zac I used to know started to come through.

  “Jesus, Clara,” he murmured, taking a step toward me. “I’m so sorry.”

  I was frozen where I stood. I didn’t know what else to say or how to keep my tears from falling down my cheeks. Everything moved so fast, and the next thing I knew, I was in his arms. It felt so good to be in them. I felt protected … safe. For a brief few moments, I allowed myself to completely forget the past.

  “Is there anything I can do?” Zac asked, his voice deep and yet soft.

  I breathed in his familiar scent and my eyes shot open. Gasping, I pushed away from him, turning my back on him. “What the hell am I doing?” I angrily wiped away my tears.

  “Clara, please don’t push me away. You don’t have to be here. Go home.”

  I jerked around and glared at him. “I have a job to do and I’m going to honor it. Don’t want you saying I didn’t fulfill my end of the bargain.”

  His gaze narrowed. “Why do you have to be so damn stubborn? I’m giving you an out. Your dad needs you right now. If I’d known, I never would’ve made you do all of this.”

  “Then why did you?” I shouted, throwing my hands in the air. “Why are you trying to punish me when I did nothing wrong?”

  He sighed, and there was a spark of anger in his eyes. There was no reason for him to be angry with me. “Nothing wrong?” he snapped back. “Is that seriously what you’re going to say to me after all these years?”

  That caught me off guard. “What’s that supposed to mean? Last I remember, you’re the one who screwed up.”

  His gaze narrowed at me. The look of anger he had on his face a few seconds ago was replaced with confusion. Did he seriously not remember the hot blonde that was all over him? I still had the picture Chelsea sent me on my phone. Had it transferred every time I got a new phone over the years. It was a reminder to never give my heart away so easily. He was the one who ran away like a coward and ignored me.

  I waited on him to speak, but his phone rang. We stared at each other as it rang, and I crossed my arms over my chest. “You going to answer that?” I said, annoyed that whoever it was had interrupted us. I’d gone twelve years with no closure and I was ready for it.

  Zac huffed and pulled his phone out of his pocket. His jaw clenched when he looked at who it was. “Dammit, I have to take this. It’s work.”

  I waved him off. “Go.”

  He walked backwards out of the barn, keeping his attention on me. “This conversation isn’t over. We need to talk.”

  “Not right now we don’t. I have work to do.”

  He answered the phone and said something quickly into it before obviously putting it on mute. “I have meetings tomorrow morning, but the house will be unlocked if you still decide to come. I’ll leave instructions for you.”

  Turning on his heel, he hurried into the house. I didn’t know what was going on, but something felt different, only I didn’t know what it was.

  12

  Zac

  “Now that we’ve caught up on business, there’s something else we need to discuss,” Galen said.

  Galen Matthews was the owner of M&M Architectural Design and my boss. Usually, when getting a job at his company, you never worked one-on-one with him unless you’d worked your way up to the top. It just so happened that when I graduated college, I already had an impressive resume by working with River Enterprises. Galen was also fascinated with my design portfolio. Working under him was a dream come true.

  I glanced out the window at Clara who was now in the field, bringing in the horses. “I’m all ears,” I replied, turning away from the window. It was hard to think of anything else with Clara around. All I wanted was to go out there and talk to her, to find out once and for all what happened all those years ago.

  Galen cleared his throat, grabbing my attention. “I don’t want to go into detail on the phone. I was hoping I could come out that way and discuss it in person.”

  That caught me off guard. “Is something wrong?” I asked.

  Galen chuckled. “Not at all. In fact, everything’s really good. I’m making a stop in Wyoming before I head to Seattle. Will you be around tomorrow afternoon?”

  “I will.”

  “Good,” he replied. “My flight lands around three o’clock. I’ll see you at your house not long after that.”

  We said our good-byes, and I set my phone down. I had no clue what was going on, but it sounded big. Turning back to the window, I saw Clara had all the horses in except for Cooper. Out of all my horses, I knew she’d pick him as her favorite over the others. He was an exact replica of her old horse, Blue. There was a reason for that … Blue was his father. Why I bought him, I don’t know. All it did was remind me of riding with Clara when we were younger. Guess I liked to torture myself.

  I would have given anything to take back time, or better yet, to have stuck a foot in my fucking mouth. If I’d known about Clara’s dad, I never would’ve made her work for me, not when she needed to spend time with him. I had to give her credit though, she was strong. She’d put up with my bullshit and dealt with everything with her dad.

  Grabbing my phone, I needed to call my cousin Haven before I started in on my other work calls. I had so many lined up it was going to take me the rest of the day to get through them. I had enough projects to keep me busy for years.

  I pressed Haven’s name and the line began to ring. “Hey, Z,” she answered. “What’s up?” Out of all the people who knew about my past with Clara, I trusted Haven’s advice. I needed a woman’s opinion because what I was doing wasn’t working at all. It was only making things worse.

  “I need your advice,” I said to her. “Do you have a few minutes?”

  “Of course. I’ll always have time for you.”

  With a heavy sigh, I leaned against the window. Clara looked so happy talking to Cooper. One day, if she’d ever really talk to me, I would tell her how he was Blue’s son.

  “Being the guy I am,” I began, “I will admit I’ve done some stupid shit.”

  She burst out laughing. “Like all guys.”

  I didn’t even bother responding to that. Women had their moments, too. “As you know, Clara’s working here for the week. I pushed her a little too far today and she ended up losing her shit on me. Let’s just say she tossed a bunch of horse dung my way.”

  “Oh my God,” she gasped. “Hate to say it, but you probably deserved it.”

  “I did,” I confessed. “After she threw the shit at my head, she broke down and told me that her dad has stage four cancer.”

  She sighed. “Oh no, that’s horrible.”

  “It is. Her dad’s a good man.”

  “What did you do after she told you?”

  I could still feel the way she felt in my arms. I didn’t want to let her go. As much as I tried to deny it, I wanted Clara just as much as I did all those years ago. “I held her,” I said.

  “An
d did she let you?” Haven asked curiously.

  “Only for a few seconds before she pulled away.”

  “How did that make you feel?”

  That was the reason why I liked confiding in Haven. Not only was she family, but she was a close friend. I could be honest with her.

  With a heavy sigh, I closed my eyes. “I didn’t want to let her go,” I admitted. Opening my eyes, I watched Clara talk to Cooper. I used to think it was funny watching her with Blue all those years ago. She’d talk to him just like he was a person.

  “I figured that much.”

  “I don’t want to be a dick to her anymore. I thought I could let things go, but right now, I want answers. I need to know why she left without telling me anything.”

  “That’s understandable,” she agreed. “Do you think she still has some feelings for you?”

  I wanted to believe she did, but there was so much anger in her eyes when she looked at me. I didn’t know where it all came from. That was what I needed to find out.

  “I don’t know,” I answered. “She’s so angry right now. There’s a lot going on in her life.”

  “Maybe if you stop making her clean your damn barn she wouldn’t be so pissed. If you want to have a heart to heart with her, you need to take her to a place that means something.”

  And just like that, I had an idea.

  “Thanks, Ven. I know just what to do.”

  13

  Clara

  It was a better morning, not to mention a beautiful one. The sun was shining and there wasn’t a cloud in the sky. It was just a shame I had to spend it at Zac’s. Things were strange between us, especially after our last conversation when he said we needed to talk. Just hearing those words made me tremble. I was afraid if we talked about the past I would break down. That was the last thing I wanted to do in front of Zac. It was pathetic that I still had feelings for him underneath all the hostility.