Fragile (Rock Stars & Romance Book 1)

by A. K. Evans

  But on the other hand, right now, I had this little voice in the back of my head telling me to do this and not give it another thought. That voice was telling me to enjoy myself and stop preventing myself from having these experiences.

  For the most part, I hadn’t really felt compelled to have this experience before Cash. I wanted to believe that meant something, but I couldn’t ignore the fact that it felt like a huge risk. Bigger than it would have been with anyone else because this was Cash Morris. Then again, I was trying to remind myself of Sam’s words a couple days ago.

  I could stop fighting this and give myself the chance to get to know Cash better. In a worst-case scenario, I’d learn that we weren’t compatible, and all I would have lost is some time. In a best-case scenario, I’d learn that he isn’t the man I perceive him to be. Of course, if that were the case, I still stood to lose a lot.

  So, it was no wonder I felt as though I was losing my mind.

  The moment I pulled into the parking lot at the café, I spotted the man who was responsible for all of the emotional turmoil I felt. And the second he noticed me, his face lit up as he waved.

  This was dangerous territory.

  A man like him, looking at me like that… yep, this was definitely my worst idea.

  I parked my car and tried to ignore all the weird and unfamiliar nerves I felt in my stomach. I had no doubt that was because my body knew this was not smart.

  Just as I turned off my car and reached over to grab my purse, my car door opened.

  “You made it,” Cash declared.

  I got out, looked up at him, and said, “I told you I’d meet you here. Why wouldn’t I have made it?”

  He shrugged. “I was worried you’d change your mind.”

  “I always follow through on my promises,” I told him.

  Cash smiled. “Good to know.”

  He might have liked hearing that bit of information, but if I had any hope of making it out of this with my dignity and heart intact, I wouldn’t be making any additional promises to him.

  After Cash closed my car door and I locked it, he held out a piece of paper to me.

  “What’s this?” I asked.

  “Just me following through on my promise to give you my number today,” he replied.

  I opened the small piece of paper, fell in love with the handwriting, and folded it again before slipping it into my purse.

  “Thanks,” I said.

  With that, Cash and I fell into step beside one another as we walked toward the café.

  A few minutes later, we were seated at a table inside and had given our orders to the waitress.

  “So, you’re heading off to the west coast next, right?” I asked, believing it was best for me to steer the conversation in the direction I needed it to go.

  Cash nodded and answered, “Yeah, we’ll be there for three weeks before we head back to the east coast for a few more weeks.”

  “Is there a location where you’re most excited about playing?” I questioned him.

  “You mean, other than coming back here to play at the end?” he countered.

  I rolled my eyes and smiled. “Yeah. Other than that.”

  “Probably the show at a venue only twenty minutes from where we grew up in Pennsylvania,” he said. “That’s the first show we play when we head back to the east coast.”

  “You guys all live there, right?” I asked.

  “Yep.”

  “Well, it should be nice to finally have some time at home then,” I reasoned.

  Cash dipped his chin. “Unfortunately, it’s not as much time as we’d like, but it’s the longest we’ll be in any one location on the remainder of the tour.”

  If there was one thing I found interesting, it was that Cash and the remaining members of My Violent Heart had homes in Pennsylvania. It struck me because on the surface, they seemed to fit the bill for typical rock stars. Or, most of them did anyway. So, to know that they all still held their hometown close in their hearts was special.

  I spent so long pondering this that Cash asked, “What about you?”

  “What about me?”

  “Has this place always been your hometown?” he clarified.

  I nodded. “Born and raised.”

  “Do you like it here?”

  Now it was my turn to shrug. “I wouldn’t say I’m attached to the place,” I started. “It’s my family and friends that I love here.”

  “So, Cal is your cousin. Do you have any siblings?” Cash asked.

  Just then, our waitress returned with our orders. After she set them down and walked away, I said, “I’m an only child.”

  Cash grinned at me. “Same here.”

  At his declaration, I couldn’t help but feel anything other than happy. This wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be. I had been worried the entire date—if that’s what it could be called—would be filled with us just bantering back and forth. This was anything but that. It was… nice.

  For the remainder of our breakfast, Cash and I continued to have an easy conversation with each other. There was no pressure, and none of it felt forced or awkward. It surprised me, and I genuinely enjoyed myself.

  But then we finished breakfast and things took a turn.

  “I had a really great time with you this morning, Demi,” Cash shared.

  “Yeah,” I agreed. “I had a nice time, too.”

  “I know I probably sound like a broken record at this point, but I have to give it one last shot,” he started. “Is there any chance you’ve reconsidered and will give me your phone number?”

  I tipped my head to the side. He had been really sweet this morning, and I liked that we were getting along well with each other for an extended period of time.

  But I couldn’t honor his request.

  “I’m sorry, Cash,” I lamented. “I really don’t think that’s a wise idea.”

  “Why not?” he inquired.

  “You’re going away on tour,” I answered. “You’ll have moved on to the next city, and life will be back to normal. Why would you want my number?”

  Cash held my gaze a long time. I started squirming in my seat, seeing the intensity of it.

  Following a long pause, he deadpanned, “I like you.”

  “It’s never going to happen between us,” I told him, my voice quiet.

  “Why not?” he asked, a genuine curiosity in his tone.

  “I’m sorry to disappoint you, Cash, but I can’t do whatever it is that you want,” I answered. “I’m not looking for a one-night stand with you.”

  “Maybe I don’t just want a one-night stand with you, either,” he countered.

  He couldn’t be serious.

  Perhaps this was his way of making sure he had a woman in every state he and the band toured in. It seemed ridiculous for him to put in this much effort to make that happen, though.

  I looked away from him as I tried to figure out how to best respond. Part of me wanted to throw caution to the wind and just do this while the other part of me knew it would be the biggest mistake of my life.

  It wasn’t about the phone number. The problem was that in giving it to him, I worried what I’d be setting myself up for. The only thought running through my mind was that someone like Cash had the power to completely destroy me.

  I’d already seen a level of destruction like that before, and I never wanted to witness it again, let alone be the one to experience it directly.

  “Demi?” Cash called, interrupting my thoughts.

  I returned my attention to him and replied, “Yeah?”

  “I just want the opportunity to get to know you better,” he started. “I won’t be back here for months, but I’d like to have that connection to you. I’ve already explained that you’re unlike any other woman I’ve met, and that makes me like you even more. To me, that’s something I can’t just let go.”

  “I feel like you’re wasting your time,” I said, though I did it without an edge of irritation or snark in my t
one. I believed he needed to know the truth. “Look, you are who you are, and I am who I am. I have no doubt that you can head off to your next location and easily find someone else to stay in contact with throughout the remainder of your tour. You’re Cash Morris, after all.”

  “You’re right. I could do that,” he responded. I smiled at him, happy that he’d finally accepted my suggestion and was letting it go. Or, that’s what I thought. A moment later, he added, “But she won’t be you.”

  “Cash—” I started before he cut me off.

  “I think you’re someone who is going to be worth all the hassle you’re putting me through right now, firecracker,” he began again. “I’ve done easy before. In fact, that’s all I’ve ever done up to this point. I’m not going to lie and say I haven’t had my fun because I have. But I want something different, and I think that’s you. I could give up and move on like you’re telling me to do. But I feel like if I have to work for this, I might find that it’s worth it in the end.”

  What was going on with him?

  This couldn’t be real. What did I have to offer him that he couldn’t get anywhere else?

  I mean, I guess he already explained that. I was offering a challenge for him, and it seemed that was what he wanted right now.

  But what would happen if I chose to play this game with him. What if I believed him when he said he wouldn’t give up the prize he won in this game? Where would I be when he realized he needed a new challenge or wanted to play a new game? One that didn’t involve me.

  No.

  No way.

  But maybe I should take Sam’s advice and take the time to get to know him. This would be the perfect opportunity. Cash said it himself. He wasn’t going to be back here for months, so it wasn’t like I had to jump into bed with him. I could simply get to know him better. In a worst-case scenario, we could just remain acquaintances.

  “Okay, Cash, I’ll give you my—”

  “Cash Morris?”

  I was interrupted by two girls who’d walked right up to our table.

  “Yeah?” he answered with an edge of irritation in his tone.

  “What are the chances we’d see you two days in a row?” one of the girls asked.

  She barely got those words out when her friend said, “Last night was honestly one of the best nights of my life. We had so much fun with you.”

  My eyes shot to Cash as the first girl asked, “Would you mind taking a photo with us?”

  The second girl added, “Yeah, that would be awesome.”

  “Excuse me?” the first girl asked.

  I reluctantly tore my gaze away from Cash and looked up at her. I was surprised to see that she’d managed to look away from him and was focused on me.

  “Yes?” I responded.

  “Would you mind taking a photo for us?” she asked me.

  This was just what I needed to snap me right back into reality.

  Last night.

  He’d had so much fun with these girls last night, which would have been only hours after I’d agreed to this date with him and only hours before I pulled into the lot outside to meet him here.

  Then again, I shouldn’t have been so foolish as to assume this was an official date. I mean, he was Cash Morris. He could have had anyone. He didn’t choose me because he liked me. He chose me because this was definitely a game for him.

  These two girls walking up to the table was precisely the wake-up call that I needed.

  I smiled at the girl and answered, “Sure.”

  She held her phone out to me. After I took it, she and her friend positioned themselves on either side of Cash. A strange expression had washed over his face, but I couldn’t read it. It didn’t matter though. I was giving up on trying to figure him out.

  “Smile,” I urged everyone.

  The girls’ faces lit up. Cash smiled, too.

  Once I’d snapped a few pictures, the girl took her phone back and returned her attention to Cash. “If you ever want to hang out again, you know where to find us,” she said.

  Before Cash could even respond, the girls took off.

  For several long moments, we both sat there staring at one another.

  “I’m really sorry about that,” Cash said.

  Unfortunately, at the same time he apologized, I declared, “I think it’s time for me to go.”

  “What?” he asked.

  I pulled my purse into my lap and started rummaging through it. I grabbed my wallet, pulled out some money to cover my portion of the bill, and threw it onto the table.

  Standing from my seat, I looked down at Cash. “Good luck on the rest of your tour,” I rasped.

  Cash opened his mouth to speak, but I turned and ran out of the café. I could hear him calling after me, but I didn’t stop to look back.

  I thought I was quick, but apparently, I wasn’t fast enough.

  I made it to my car just in time to have Cash stop me from opening the door.

  “Demi, wait,” he pleaded.

  “I have to go, Cash,” I told him.

  “If this is about those girls,” he began.

  “It’s not about them,” I lied. “I just… I’m not the girl you’re looking for.”

  Something washed over him before his voice dipped low. “You’re exactly who I’m looking for, beautiful girl.”

  I needed to go now before I burst into tears and humiliated myself more than I already had.

  “Right. Well, then I guess I’m sorry to tell you that I’m not cut out for this.”

  At that, I yanked open my door, got inside, and took off.

  I didn’t dare look back into my rearview mirror because I was afraid of what I’d see.

  I stared at the computer screen in disbelief.

  It had been three days since my mostly good but suddenly turned awful breakfast date with Cash.

  Three days of remembering exactly why I avoided things like that at all costs.

  I’d hoped—and possibly even expected—that Cash would understand that I was no longer interested in playing this game with him. It was so obvious that I was done, and I had to believe he knew why. I mean, obviously, he didn’t know what my exact reasons were, but he had to know what triggered my desperation to get out of there that morning.

  Or, I thought he did.

  Staring at my computer screen now, it appeared he didn’t.

  Or, maybe that was all just part of the game to him.

  I came into work today and found a couple of calls waiting for me as well as a bunch of emails.

  One of those emails was from Cash.

  You haven’t called. I miss you. -Cash

  I wanted to laugh. Miss me?

  Cash didn’t miss me.

  He missed not being able to receive his own form of entertainment. Maybe that was the life of a rock star. They spent so much time entertaining others that they had to come up with ways to amuse themselves.

  Well, I refused to be the butt of a bad joke.

  No thanks.

  Part of me wanted to ignore his email. Maybe I should have done just that considering he was emailing me at work about something unrelated to his band performing at Granite.

  But if there was anything I learned about Cash, it was that he didn’t quit. So, if I didn’t respond, he’d likely just call me here.

  On that thought, I tapped out a response and hit the send button.

  Then, I smiled.

  That would show him.

  Eleven

  Cash

  I had been so close.

  So close to getting in there, even if it was just inside the door.

  To say I was frustrated at this point would have been an understatement because I thought I’d finally made some real progress with Demi.

  That progress started with somehow getting her to agree to go out with me for breakfast before I left to continue on the tour with My Violent Heart. The progress continued when we, for the first time, had a civil conversation while getting to know one another. There was
no sarcasm behind any of the words we spoke to one another. We simply talked.

  And it was nice.

  Damn, it was so nice to have that with her.

  The progress had reached a point I never expected it would when Demi decided to give me her number.

  And then it all came to a grinding halt.

  Because I had fans.

  I never had to remind myself to feel gratitude and appreciation for my fans. The band was blessed with the best fans in the music industry, and I knew they were the reason I lived the life I did doing the thing I loved most in the world.

  But ever since I watched Demi run out of the café that morning and tell me that she wasn’t the girl I was looking for, I had struggled with my thankfulness for the fans.

  She might have said differently, but there wasn’t a doubt in my mind that the reason Demi left was because of those two girls walking up and interrupting our date.

  The last thing I wanted was to feel animosity toward the fans, but it was hard not to feel just a little bit of it.

  Demi left because of what happened that morning. And I couldn’t begin to understand it, especially considering she seemed more than willing to take the photos for the fans.

  Actually, that’s not true.

  I had a feeling that for her to see it play out in front of her affected her differently than when she was just making assumptions about how my life was. Then again, there had been that moment in the hotel weeks ago when a couple of fans walked right up to me and requested an autograph.

  Obviously, Demi and I hadn’t been out together at that time, so beyond that, I couldn’t see how this situation was any different.

  I felt miserable the last few days, hating that we didn’t get the opportunity to say goodbye to one another and that things didn’t end on a good note.

  I hated not having that connection with her.

  But last night, in the middle of our show, I remembered I had her email. So the minute I was off stage and able to send one, I shot Demi that email. Initially, I had grappled with what to say to her considering the way things were left that morning. I ultimately decided it was best to give her a bit of myself that she was used to while also giving her a dose of something more.