Fragile (Rock Stars & Romance Book 1)
Page 16
There was another pause, and this one was rather lengthy. Demi got back to trailing her fingers over my skin, and I waited for her to offer some kind of clarification.
Eventually, she shared, “I was just a freshman in high school when I woke up sick in the middle of the night. Actually, it wasn’t really the middle of the night. I hadn’t been feeling well earlier that evening, so I went to bed early. I thought my stomach was bothering me because my parents had been fighting with each other that evening before my mom went to work. But when I woke up not even two hours later, I realized I was actually sick, so I ran to the bathroom and vomited.”
Demi paused a moment, and I could see she was really struggling with something.
Eventually, she went on, “My mom was at work that night, so I went to my dad to tell him that I was sick. When I opened the door to his room and turned on his light, I found him standing beside the bed fucking a woman who wasn’t my mother. To make matters even worse, he turned toward me and was completely naked.”
Fuck.
It all made sense now.
Demi didn’t trust men because her own father hadn’t been faithful to her mother. And to think she walked in and saw it happening.
“Demi, I’m so sorry,” I apologized.
“Me too,” she murmured. “I lived the aftermath of that. The betrayal. The disappointment. The pain for both my mom and me. The fact that he didn’t even try to fix it, not even for me. He was just fine with getting the divorce. My mom deserved better, so I wouldn’t have wanted her to stay, but his indifference really just hit me hard. He never even apologized. And I guess it’s possible he was simply embarrassed because of how awkward it was for me, but it still hurt.”
I couldn’t imagine. I mean, I knew people got divorced all the time, and it was never pleasant, but this was just horrible.
“I wish I knew what to say to make it better,” I told her.
“You could tell me that this wasn’t just a game for you,” she responded.
Her?
She thought I was putting in all this effort with her for the fun of it?
“Demi, do you even realize how incredible you are?” I asked. “This was not a game for me. At least, not in the way that you’re thinking. Was this challenging for me? Yes. Did I enjoy the banter between us and the scouring looks you gave me? Absolutely. But I didn’t do everything I did just so I could get you in my bed for a night. Not for nothing, but if I just wanted to fuck someone, I could have easily made that happen. I wanted you.”
“You did,” she said. “Do you still feel that way?”
She couldn’t be serious.
“Yes,” I deadpanned.
When Demi didn’t respond, I decided we needed to have another discussion.
“Look, I know this is really early here, but I think it’s important we discuss what just happened here tonight and what that means for us moving forward,” I started. “I like you, and I want to explore what this is between us. Do you want the same thing?”
She closed her eyes and let out a deep sigh. When she opened them again and looked at me, she said, “I really want to try, but I’m terrified. And I think you need to know what you’re getting into with me. I might seem tough on the surface, Cash, but inside, I’m so insecure. I have a terrible time trusting men.”
“I understand that, but please believe me when I say that you don’t need to be insecure when it comes to me,” I pleaded.
I could hear the sarcastic undertone to her laugh as she declared, “You being you makes me feel even more worried than I would if you were someone else.”
I didn’t quite know how to take that. “Who do you want me to be?”
“That’s not what I meant,” she insisted. “I just mean that you being this massive rock star makes me more terrified about what I’m getting myself into with you. Jealousy ran through me when I saw the pictures of you without your shirt on at your concerts. All those women had their eyes on you, and I know they were thinking the exact same thing I was.”
I smiled and asked, “What were you thinking?”
“That I wanted to be right where I am now. That I wanted what just happened between us to happen… repeatedly.”
“Repeatedly?” I said.
“Yes.”
I pushed a lock of her hair back from the side of her face and promised, “I’ll be sure to make that happen right away. But first, I want you to know that I understand where you’re coming from, and I want to do everything I can to make you feel comfortable and secure.”
“It might take me a minute to feel that way,” she stated.
“I expected that much, and I promise to be patient with you,” I told her. “The last thing I want is for you to feel like you’ve come into this risking it all and feeling like it wasn’t worth it. I want it to be worth it for you.”
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. And just for the record, I want you to know that nothing ever happened with those girls who walked up to the table when we were out at breakfast. The whole band was there, and it’s not uncommon to have groupies hanging around. I promise you, I did nothing with any of them.”
“I appreciate you clarifying that, even if I wasn’t in a position where it should have mattered,” Demi said.
For a few minutes, we stayed there like that, Demi continuing to run her fingers over the skin on my chest. I was comfortable in the silence with her, just happy being beside her.
Eventually, she called, “Cash?”
“Yeah?”
“Will you kiss me?” she asked. “I hesitate to tell you this since I’m sure you already know it, but your mouth is unbelievable.”
I burst out laughing and buried my face in her neck as I rolled her to her back. If Demi was frustrated by my reaction, I didn’t know it because all I could pay attention to was the fact that her naked body was beneath mine and she had wrapped her legs around my waist.
It wasn’t until she spoke that I had to redirect my focus.
“What’s so funny about that?”
I lifted my face from her neck, stared at her, and said, “I thought the very same thing about your mouth from the first day I saw you. And I’ve got a boatload of reasons why I like it so much.”
Demi cocked an eyebrow. “Really?”
I nodded.
“I think you should kiss me now, Cash,” she urged.
I’d waited weeks for this. I was not going to delay.
At her request, I lowered my mouth and touched my lips to hers. That was just the beginning of a very long and satisfying round two. Suffice it to say, we didn’t get to sleep until just before the sun came up.
Seventeen
Demi
“Is everything okay?”
That question came from Cash. I had just walked into his kitchen to find that he’d made food for us. Lots of it, too. Seeing it, I stopped moving and remained frozen to the spot.
Is this what it’s like?
That was the only thought running through my mind as I took in the scene before me. For the first time ever, I’d spent the night with a man—one who meant something to me—and I’d just walked into his kitchen the next morning to find that he’d made breakfast.
Or, I guess, it should probably be called brunch considering the time.
Either way, I was only slightly bummed about the fact that I’d denied myself from experiencing something like this for so long, but given that my first time it was happening was with Cash made it all worth the wait.
Then again, there wasn’t much that hadn’t been worth the wait when it came to him. The only real issue I had with any of it was that I’d been the one to hold back with him for so long. I was not, in any way, disappointed that I held out for so long waiting for him to come along.
I hadn’t expected him to come down and do all of this for me. It was just that I needed to make a phone call this morning.
Cash and I had woken up this morning and immediately gotten distracted with sex, which was
no less fabulous than the first two times we’d had it last night. Afterward, we’d discussed what was happening over the next few days.
“You flew here, right?” he asked when we were curled up in bed with one another earlier this morning.
“Yeah.”
“Is there a return flight scheduled?”
“Sunday night,” I told him.
There was not an ounce of hesitation in his voice when he requested, “Would you mind canceling it and staying longer?” When I didn’t respond because I was still trying to process the fact that he wanted me to stay longer, he added, “I’ll cover any of the costs for switching the flight.”
“It’s not the money I’m worried about, Cash,” I said.
“What’s wrong then? You seem troubled,” he noted.
Smiling at him, I shared, “You want me here.”
Confusion washed over him. “You say that like it’s a bad thing.”
“It’s not,” I assured him, shaking my head. “It’s just taking me a minute to catch up. You’re so sure about everything, and I’m just—”
“Worried?” he guessed, cutting me off.
I shrugged. “Maybe a little,” I admitted.
Cash, who had been on his back in the bed while I sat up beside him, tightened his abs and came to a seated position beside me.
“Demi, I didn’t think that wanting more time with you would be the kind of thing that would make you scared or nervous,” he began. “I’m not trying to make you uncomfortable or move faster than you’re prepared for. I just… I have to get back on the road soon, and I’m not ready to let you go just yet.”
When he put it like that, I couldn’t say no. He wanted more time with me. It wasn’t as though I didn’t feel the same. The fact that I completely did not want to even think about him getting back on the road while I made my way back to New Hampshire was weighing heavily on my mind, too. It wasn’t something I wanted to even think about at the moment, so I simply leaned closer and said, “I need to make a phone call. I want to let Cal know that I’m going to be staying a few extra days.”
He smiled against my mouth, brushing his lips back and forth against mine. Then he said softly, “Okay. You make your call and meet me downstairs.”
“My phone is lost somewhere down in the pile of clothing at the front door,” I informed him.
He reached out to the side, grabbed his phone off his nightstand, and said, “You can use mine.”
“Are you sure?” I asked. I didn’t know how he felt about members of the general public having his number.
“Are you calling your cousin?” he countered.
“Well, I was going to call my best friend first,” I confessed. “The likelihood is that Sam is with Cal anyway, so I could kill two birds with one stone.”
“I don’t think Sam is going to go distributing my number to anyone, so it’s cool,” he insisted. “Use my phone and make your call. The code is zero nine zero seven.”
“Okay,” I agreed.
With that, Cash gave me a kiss before he twisted his body and heaved himself out of the bed. I watched as he paraded in his birthday suit across the room to pull on a new pair of gray sweats.
Yum.
Then he moved to the closet, disappeared behind the door for a moment, and came back toward the bed. He tossed a T-shirt down in front of me. “You can wear that for now if you’re interested in covering up,” he offered. “Though, I will say that I’m entirely alright with you remaining naked.”
I tried to scowl at him, but my efforts were futile because he simply laughed as he started walking away.
“You owe me a pair of panties,” I reminded him.
He moved to the doorway, stopped, and looked back at me. “If I recall correctly, firecracker, I said I’d buy you a hundred pairs.”
“One would be sufficient,” I insisted.
“Not if I plan to rip more of them off your body,” he returned.
My mouth dropped open at his brazen comment, and I didn’t get the chance to respond because he laughed again and walked out.
I took a moment to allow myself to remember how it felt when he’d ripped my panties off me last night, and then I picked up his phone to call Sam.
Now, I was standing in his kitchen, wearing his T-shirt, and I couldn’t stop the good feelings from overwhelming me.
“Demi?” Cash called when too much time passed without a response from me.
“Yeah?”
“Did everything go okay with Sam?” he asked.
I shook off the thoughts I’d been having and moved toward the table, where he was sitting.
“Yeah,” I answered as I came to a stop beside him.
Cash’s eyes roamed over me, moving from head to toe and back again. When they stopped on my face, he reached his arm out, curled it around the back of my waist, and urged me into his lap. Once I was settled there, he pressed, “Are you sure?”
I nodded. “Yes. In fact, everything was better than okay. She’s beyond excited for me. Well, and for you, too, but mostly for me.”
“That’s great news. Is Cal cool with you staying longer?”
I didn’t want to tell Cash exactly what Cal had said because I thought it was a bit presumptuous. Instead, I answered, “Cal is more than okay with me staying longer. Besides, I was already working from home, so I can still take some time to answer emails while I’m here.”
Cash grinned. “Cool. Are you hungry?” he asked.
“Yeah,” I said, as I made the move to stand and sit at the chair on the opposite side of the table.
Cash’s arm tightened around my waist, holding me in place, as he used his other hand to pick up his fork and spear a strawberry with it. He brought the fork to my mouth.
“Open,” he said softly.
I parted my lips and Cash slid the fork inside. When my mouth closed around the fork, he pulled it back, leaving only the sweet fruit behind.
I chewed slowly as he watched.
Once I swallowed, he said, “I’m really glad you came here, Demi.”
“Me too,” I rasped.
He lifted another strawberry to my mouth. I opened my mouth, accepted it, and chewed again.
“Do you like pancakes?” he asked.
“Only if you’ve got syrup on them,” I answered.
He reached out, plucked a pancake off the stack at the center of the table, and set it on his plate. Then he drizzled syrup on it, used his fork to cut it, and brought a bite to my mouth.
Without needing any instruction, I parted my lips once more, and Cash slid the pancake in my mouth. Syrup ended up on my lip, so after I chewed and swallowed, I licked my lip. Cash’s fingers tightened at my hip, his focus never leaving my mouth.
“Kiss me,” he urged.
I didn’t hesitate. He was feeding me, and he was doing it in the most seductive way. Why would I not kiss him?
For more than an hour, Cash and I stayed there, eating breakfast, kissing, and teasing. It was, by far, the most erotic experience of my life.
I loved that Cash was the one to give it to me.
“Are you excited?” Cash asked.
“For the concert?” I retorted.
He laughed, reached his hand out to mine, and held it. “For the backstage pass,” he teased.
“Oh. Yeah. Of course,” I told him, doing my best not to freak out about the fact that Cash Morris was out in public with me holding my hand. “I’ve loved My Violent Heart for years, so this is definitely up there on my list of things I never thought I’d ever experience.”
“Good to know.”
It was a few hours after Cash and I had our pancake, syrup, and strawberry brunch, and we had just arrived back at the same venue My Violent Heart played at last night.
They were playing a second show tonight before they had a break. Apparently, they were planning to spend that break—or, at least, part of it—with each other because tomorrow afternoon, the entire band was going over to Cash’s place for a barbecue.
Cash led me down a long corridor, claiming we were heading toward his dressing room. When he came to a stop, I looked up at the door and saw his name on display.
Just as he put his hand on the doorknob so we could enter, the door for the room across from his opened.
“Yes!”
Cash and I spun around and found Holland there grinning at us. I had a feeling she was celebrating the fact that she not only saw me there with Cash but also that he was holding my hand.
“What’s going on?” Cash asked her.
Her face lit up. “You two are so adorable,” she beamed. Then she reached out, curled her fingers around my wrist, and ordered, “And considering I know that you’ve now had Demi in your presence for hours, I’m taking her into my dressing room for a bit.”
Cash’s grip on my hand tightened. “What?”
Holland rolled her eyes before she insisted, “It’s okay, Cash. I promise I’ll bring her back in a little bit.”
I looked up at Cash and smiled. He looked sad. “I’ll be back in a little bit,” I told him.
“Promise?” he asked.
I didn’t want to laugh, but I couldn’t help a small chortle from escaping. He looked like a guy who’d just lost his puppy.
“I promise.”
Accepting that, he pressed a kiss to my cheek before he let my hand go. Then Holland dragged me into her dressing room.
No sooner had she closed the door when we walked deeper into her dressing room and I saw a woman sitting on the couch.
“Demi, this is Sadie,” Holland introduced us. “She’s Beck’s younger sister and my best friend. Sadie, this is Demi. And I’m hoping she’s ready to spill all the details of her night with Cash.”
Sadie and I exchanged pleasantries and greetings. Holland walked over to the vanity where she’d set out all of her makeup when she started speaking again. “I’ve been dying to know how it went for you last night,” she began. “I thought I was going to lose my mind because Cash started talking about going out to celebrate how well we did. Of course, getting Roscoe or Killian to turn down a night out is like pulling teeth, so I had my work cut out for me.”