“We would have considerably more influence if Hitler hadn’t killed half of us in World War II,” Abraham added, sarcastically.
“I agree 100%,” Jobran answered quickly, “But you yourself have told me on numerous occasions that younger Jews are leaving their religious traditions in droves, even though they may retain Jewish culture. Then, there is widespread assimilation and intermarriage to deal with, so that it becomes increasingly difficult to even tell who is a Jew, and…well, let’s just say that the influence of Judaism as a religion doesn’t seem to be on the upswing.” He looked apprehensively at Abraham, who said nothing. He went on, “And you know that there isn’t much firm belief in Judaism about life after death; while some branches lean towards such a belief, other branches either deny such a doctrine, or minimize it. It’s also true that those Jewish branches that do believe in life after death are certainly not ‘exclusivistic’ about it—they wouldn’t deny the possibility of salvation to us because Sophia or I were Christians, for instance. Furthermore, in modern Judaism there is no sense of a ‘missionary zeal’; Judaism does not call me to be ‘converted,’ for example. In fact, I’m sure that even the most Orthodox of rabbis would actively discourage me from converting to Judaism, if I told them that my main reason for converting was so that I could be reunited with my Catholic wife after death.” Abraham laughed heartily, and the atmosphere in the room was relaxed again.
“That’s certainly true,” Abraham said, with a chuckle. “If you were to take a survey of all the rabbis in America, and tell them, ‘I am thinking of converting to Judaism in the hopes of being reunited with my Roman Catholic wife after death,’ I guarantee you that 100% of them would think that you are nuts!” and they both laughed. Then Abraham said, “So anyway: We Jews aren’t growing fast enough for you, and we don’t go door-to-door or pass out tracts in the mall downtown, so Judaism is out of contention.” He smiled, and said, “No problem; I don’t think you would look good in a yarmulke, anyway. So what religions are left?” Abraham thought for a moment, then observed, “So far, you seem to have wiped out Shinto, Zoroastrianism, Bahá’í, Sikhism, and Judaism—oh, and probably Jainism, since it’s small and not likely to grow in size.”
“Jainism’s doctrine of ahimsa or non-violence is one that is extremely attractive—if difficult to carry out—but for me, it really comes down to a choice between the four largest religions, which are Hinduism and Buddhism in the east, and Christianity and Islam in the west,” Jobran said. Almost apologetically, he added, “And remember, my only goal is a pragmatic one, rather than an abstract question of theology: I’m only seeking reunion with Sophia—I’m not looking to find what is necessarily the ‘best’ or ‘truest’ religion.”
“Don’t worry about it; I’ve gotten over feeling ‘slighted’,” Abraham said with a chuckle. “But why did you abandon the Chinese religions so summarily?”
Jobran looked genuinely ambivalent, and said, “Well, the Chinese traditions of Taoism, Confucianism, and Chinese Mahayana Buddhism are of great antiquity, and they have large numbers of adherents—although the Chinese government’s attitude towards religion makes it difficult to ‘count’ them; and despite considerable persecution, Falun Gong seems to be growing.” He paused for a moment, then said in a thoughtful voice, “To be honest, I have a tremendous amount of respect and sympathy for Taoism and Buddhism as religious philosophies—and if Sophia wasn’t a factor, I can see myself living quite happily as a practitioner of philosophical Taoism or Mahayana Buddhism.” Then he added passionately, “But Sophia is a factor! For me, she is the only factor worth considering; and thus, the deciding factor for me is that these religions really don’t teach any doctrine of personal immortality. Falun Gong doesn’t talk about going to the ‘Pure Land’ when you die, and remaining in harmony with the Tao won’t get you to Heaven—these are basically spiritual practices, which don’t claim to teach you ‘the path that leads to eternal life.’ They are teaching you something that will enhance your life here and now—it isn’t something that is going to prepare you for a life beyond this one. The religions of Japan are much the same; while I find the doctrines of Jodo Shinshu attractive, and I love Zen art and books, they just don’t teach any ‘positive’ belief in life after death.” Jobran shrugged, and said, “So, all I can say is that if these religions are correct, Sophia has simply gone into nonexistence, as will I upon my death; and thus, my hopes for an eventual reunion with Sophia are empty—if these religions are true. So therefore, I have to reject them, and continue on in a direction that at least carries some hope of meeting my goal.”
Abraham had been looking increasingly uncomfortable during the preceding monologue. In a doubtful tone, he said, “Personally, I think I liked your quest better when you were still engaged—or so I thought—in a ‘quest for Truth.’You make choosing a religion sound like picking out a car.”
Jobran ignored this remark, and said, “Now as far as the religions originating in India, most varieties of Hinduism and Buddhism teach some form of reincarnation, rather than personal survival of a unique personality throughout eternity. To the extent that there is something ‘personal’ about the self, it is in the form of an impersonal Karma, or something like that—it isn’t an individual ‘soul’ that would be aware after death of its previous existence.” Throwing up his hands, he continued, “Perhaps reincarnation is true: who am I to say? But it is clear that under such a doctrine, I would really not be able to be reunited with Sophia—who might very well have already reincarnated, and is a right now a tiny baby boy in Ethiopia—and anyway, we would probably meet up with other people throughout our successive lifetimes, and our relationship here would become secondary.”
In a more pointed tone, he added, “The versions of reincarnation we get in the Western world, particularly in the ‘New Age’ section in bookstores—whereby we continue to work on our relationships with certain people through successive incarnations—seem to me to be Western reformulations of the doctrine, to make it more consistent with our own monogamous ideal. These kind of reformulations are probably motivated more by the desire not to offend our western notions of ‘Romantic Love,’ rather than by any doctrinal basis for it in Hinduism or Buddhism. Such attempts put forward a kind of hybrid, merging the Western and Eastern traditions—very similar to Theosophy—that doesn’t really succeed in being faithful or true to either tradition.” In a voice filled with conviction, he said, “This ‘New Age-y’ version of reincarnation, moreover, ignores the fact that within the Eastern traditions, personal immortality is not the goal: ultimate union with the Divine is the goal. One is not supposed to pursue eternal life as a personal entity, but rather personal extinction and absorption in the all-encompassing reality of God. So to me, a religion that teaches the traditional form of reincarnation is not what I’m looking for; if such doctrines are true, my entire quest is futile anyway—I want reunion with my beloved Sophia, not someone that used to be her in a previous lifetime, and who doesn’t even remember me, or our life together.”
“Boy,” Abraham said. “You’ve really been doing some serious thinking about this stuff, haven’t you?” Jobran didn’t reply, so he added, “So you’ve basically eliminated the eastern religions, then?” Abraham asked.
Yes,” Jobran replied. After thinking for a moment, he added, “Again, I’m not saying that I don’t have some considerable appreciation for Buddhism as a philosophy of life; in fact, I genuinely am attracted by the simple rational cogency of the Four Noble Truths, for example. In general, I would have to agree about this life being a form of ‘suffering’ that is caused by our desires, and that release from this suffering can only be realized by achieving freedom from desire; my passionate desire for Sophia’s love has caused me an unbelievable amount of grief, which is obviously attributable to my desire for her love. In its original forms, Buddhism seems to me to be the most purely rational religion around.” In a voice tinged with some regret, he added quietly
, “And if I’d encountered Buddhism before I’d met Sophia, who knows? I might well have decided to follow it.”
But then Jobran stood up, and in a voice trembling with emotion he said, “But in the final analysis, the goals of Buddhism do not inspire or motivate me now: I do not seek the extinction of my love and desire for Sophia—on the contrary, I want to fulfill my desire for her again, even as I formerly did when she was living.” In a voice of anguish, he said, “With every fiber of my being, I want to hold Sophia in my arms again! I want to touch her, kiss her, stroke her hair, and lie next to her! I want to make love with her, to kiss and caress her afterwards, to fall asleep in each other’s arms, and to embrace again upon awakening!” He paused for a moment, regaining control of his emotions, and continued, “To ask me to accept the extinction of my desire for Sophia as a worthwhile ‘goal’ is to ask me to extinguish all that has kept me going for these last two years: hope! It’s the same as if a psychotherapist claimed that he could get rid of my pain for good, by hypnotizing me into forgetting all about Sophia: do you think I would knowingly submit to such treatment? Of course not! To willingly destroy my love for Sophia would destroy everything that I stand for—it’s absolutely unthinkable!” He collapsed back into his chair, suddenly spent. Abraham drank the last of his ice water, and remained silent.
Finally Jobran said, in a sheepish voice, “Sorry; I get passionate about this sometimes.”
Abraham smiled and said, “No problem; I can imagine what you get like when you don’t have company.” He got up, taking his glass, and went into the kitchen. “You want anything?” he asked.
“No thanks,” Jobran replied.
Returning with another glass of ice water, Abraham seated himself comfortably on the couch again, and said in a matter-of-fact voice, “Well, if my count is correct, you’re down to Christianity and Islam; correct?”
Jobran nodded. “Islam obviously deserves considerable attention, since it does teach that there is an individual soul that lives on after death.” He smiled slightly, then added, “And frankly, the Islamic notions of Paradise, with their rather ‘carnal’ notion of life after death, complete with sexual relations, is quite attractive to me—much more so than the traditional Christian notions of sitting in a circle around God, experiencing the Beatific Vision for all of eternity.”
Abraham looked worried. “You’re not going to become a Muslim, are you?” He took a nervous sip of his ice water, and added, “That could have profound implications for our friendship.”
Jobran chuckled, but then turned deadly serious as he said, “But my biggest problem with Islam is that Sophia was not a Muslim. In fact, the only comments I ever heard her make about Islam were strongly negative ones—she considered some of its practitioners ‘fanatical terrorists,’ ‘extremists,’ and such. She was thinking of the terrorist acts on September 11, 2001 and similar events, I’m sure; but it’s enough to make me doubtful that she would necessarily make it into my harem in Paradise.” He paused for a moment, then added, “While it is certainly possible that Sophia might be brought to me in my eternal Paradise—she was probably a ‘righteous wife,’ by Islamic standards—it’s more likely that Allah would give me an entirely different wife, or wives, for my eternal happiness. So if Islam is true, I figure my chances of being reunited with her are slim to none.”
“So you’re not becoming a Muslim,” Abraham said, dryly. “I’m glad to hear that.”
Slyly, Jobran added, “Still, I’m hedging my bets somewhat; since Islam is probably the fastest-growing religion in the world, that seems like the wise thing to do.” and he laughed. “Because I’m aware that there is at least an outside chance that if Islam is true, I could nevertheless be saved—and perhaps even reunited with Sophia—in spite of my remaining a Christian, since Islam teaches that good Christians can be saved. Not all Christians, of course: The Crusaders, politicians who make war against Islamic states, Evangelicals who write blasphemous books attacking Islam, and others, will probably go to Hell; but I’m not any of those kinds of Christian, nor was Sophia.” Winking at Abraham, he added in a teasing voice, “The fact that I’m not Jewish, or an ardent Zionist, would also surely be in my favor here.” Then seriously, he added, “While a Christian may not reach the very highest reaches of Paradise—such as those a faithful Muslim could reach—a vastly lower level, if I could live there with Sophia, would to me be superior to the highest realm without her.”
Abraham raised his hands and signaled “Timeout,” then said, “Wait a minute, I think I know the answer to this one: You’ve decided that you should remain a Christian, right?” He slapped his face, as if to wake himself up, then added, “Now, why didn’t I think of that?”
Jobran waved him quiet, then said, “Wait, I’m not finished. For me, the most serious alternative possibilities to Christianity are the various metaphysical or New Age/New Millennium-type philosophies. Naturally, a lot of ‘New Age’ fads and practices seem to me to be pure hokum: Astrology, Crystals, Tarot cards, Pyramids, lost continents, Numerology, Palmistry, and the like; to me, these are nothing more than cons, to bilk the paying public. But the so-called ‘New Age’ has a lot of other facets that are well worth consideration, such as transpersonal psychology, alternative medicine, ecological awareness, and a genuine interest in cross-cultural Eastern spiritual practices.” He stopped a moment to catch his breath, before he continued.
“But of course,” Jobran said in a softer tone, “I’ve been most interested in those researchers that seriously claim to provide empirical evidence for life after death: Spiritism, Near-Death experiences, and so on. While you and I have obviously seen and heard of fakers—as well as sincerely mistaken persons—there is one argument that seems compelling to me: if you believe in personal survival after death, then communication with departed beings must be admitted to be at least a possibility. Spiritism wouldn’t be ‘raising the dead’—to a believer in life after death, the dead are still alive!—they are just in a different mode of existence, and who’s to say that communication with them isn’t possible? If they can be taken out of their physical bodies, and placed in this new realm, why shouldn’t it be possible to communicate with them?”
Quietly, Abraham asked, “Then, do you think that it is possible for you to communicate with Sophia?”
Jobran shook his head gravely. “Without doubt, the biggest disappointment of my entire ‘quest’ has been to have to reject the possibility of mediums, spiritism, automatic writing, or other forms of communication with the dead.” In an anguished voice, he added, “To me, the fact that Sophia hasn’t communicated with me is very powerful evidence against such communication; if our situations were reversed, I’m sure that I would be raising an incredible ruckus in the afterlife until I was allowed to communicate with Sophia, one way or the other. So if communication between the dead and the living were possible, I cannot believe that Sophia would not have communicated with me at some point, in some way. It’s similar to how Houdini and his wife had a pact, that whichever one died first, would agree to communicate in some way from the ‘other side.’” His head slumped to his chest, as if totally dejected. “But it never happened.”
Looking down, he said in a dejected voice, “And I’ve been absolutely devastated by the failure of so-called ‘psychical research.’ When I first read reports of the Society for Psychical Research, and read books by its members such as Oliver Lodge and Arthur Conan Doyle, I was filled with hope; here seemed to be scientifically demonstrable evidence of the kind that I was looking for—but the promises of their early books just haven’t panned out. The SPR is still around, as is the American SPR, but they’re rather moribund, and still investigating variations of the kind of purported ESP phenomena that J.B. Rhine was studying at Duke University, where achieving results of 29%—when ‘chance’ would have predicted 25%—convinced him and his supporters that ESP existed.” With an edge to his voice, he continued, “Personally, if
you want to convince me, why don’t they have anyone scoring 79%? Where are the people that can consistently score 90% on normal days? They don’t exist! There are so many ways that ‘Psi’ phenomena could be demonstrated, but they haven’t been. I have come to appreciate Einstein’s 1946 comments on Rhine’s experiments, ‘I regard it as very strange that the spatial distance between the subjects has no relevance to the statistical experiments.
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