Moonlight Lovers: A Reverse Harem Shifter Romance (The Witch and the Wolf Pack Book 7)

by K. R. Alexander

  “It’s grown on me.” He relaxed, smiling again. “I love the bones. Never thought of that. Could be we start putting them on the wall also…” he mused.

  Kage slid the elastic waistband of my pajama pants down with two fingers. I pushed his hand away.

  “That … might get a little creepy,” I said. “But I guess not to wolves.”

  “They’d be jealous.” Still tickled by his idea. “I bet I have the best collection in the pack.”

  “You don’t,” Kage scoffed. “Zipp and Simon do.”

  “They pooled theirs. That’s not the same. You don’t collect.”

  “I’m sure you have the best solo collection,” I said.

  “Yes.” Jason snuggled down against me, letting his damp head rest on the pillow by mine. “Do you know, it was one of the first things I did during my transition? I’d always wanted to try it. Mum’s a big chewer. She’d save all her soup bones at home and stay up at night, lying on the living room rug and gnawing them.” A slow sigh of remembered longing. “Moon, I always wanted those bones. She’d share too. But what could I do with my little flat teeth? Had to wait and wait. First time I changed, she had a bone for me. She surprised me with it—so proud of me.”

  “It must be tough, changing for the first time,” I said.

  “Hunt Moon,” Kage whispered.

  “It’s awful,” Jason said just as softly. “You want to so bad. It’s killing you to change, your whole body pushing you, feverish over it. But it takes loads of training from our parents and orataj, something we work toward our whole lives. Scary, too, growing up, knowing it can be rough. Then … when it finally happens for the first time, kir, it’s painful. It’s sharp ice. You think it’s going to kill you.”

  “Talked to others about it after,” Kage said. “All said they thought they were dying. They don’t admit sterk like that to you before you transition.”

  He ran his hand up under my tank and I pushed it back.

  “I thought I’d die,” Jason said. “It’s that bad. Then … bleeding Moon, you’re scared. Thinking never, never going to happen. You’ll be stuck in fur forever and nothing you can do about it.” He was also touching me but absently, stroking my arm and hand.

  “Sounds like giving birth,” I said. “Maybe worse.”

  “Ever tried that?” Kage asked, interested.

  “No, I haven’t tried it—Kage—” I shoved his hand away.

  Jason didn’t seem to be listening. “After I’d settled down, caught my breath, and had a long break with my orataj, just lying in the woods—they talk you through everything or we couldn’t do it. Hours and hours just dealing with that first change. Then he said, ‘Your mum has something for you, if you want to walk over?’ I didn’t think I could walk that far, so unsteady, nothing but a lost kill. After a bit, though, we made it over. Slow walk through the willows and along the back of the territory to our place. Mum and dad were there, so chuffed to see me she forgot all about the surprise. Going on about how handsome I was: mirror image to my grandam.”

  “It’s weird—I never thought of that,” I said. “How you have no idea what you will look like in fur until your first change? Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

  “No, it is weird. You’re right. Yearlings talk about it a lot—especially the females. Proper interested in how they’ll turn out. You can take a guess with your own parents but only a guess. Doesn’t really matter. Not like we even see ourselves when we’re in fur. Still, I was proud when she said that and I realized how I looked.”

  “They’re rare now,” Kage said. “Plenty of blackish wolves in the Sables, even these days. Like Jed, who looks like his sire. True black, though? Pure, solid black that’s even black in sunlight, something the Sable Pack used to be known for in generations back? That’s almost gone. Jason and two others are the only ones left in the Sables now. Washed away with diluted blood. Nothing wrong there, Diana says. Strong gene pools welcome foreigners and all that. Changing times, though, something lost…”

  “I know what you mean,” I said. “She’s right, but preserving the past is a strength as well. It’s a tragedy when something from our heritage fades—dying languages, destroyed historical sites, bloodlines ending. It’s also all a normal part of time. I had no idea it was so unique, how you look. You’re beautiful with that coat like a raven, Jay. But you all are—and all different.”

  “Bit of a shock when Andrew changed,” Jason said with a smile.

  “Speaking of different. You knew, though, right? That he was part dingo?”

  “Part. Thought it was maybe four generations back. He doesn’t know that for sure, though. Doesn’t look it.”

  “Looks more half and half,” Kage said. “Omri was full wolf. Remember him? Big mottled gray bloke, full coat. Didn’t look a nit like Andrew.”

  “We never saw his birth mum in fur,” Jason said. “Obviously it’s from her side.”

  “Did he go through transition with you?” I asked.

  “It happens when it happens. Same as puberty in humans. I was ahead of him.”

  Kage had moved my hair to kiss the back of my neck. I was drowsy again, yet fascinated by the conversation, as always with these aspects of their lives.

  I eased away from Kage. It wasn’t that I didn’t want him. It was that this had been meant to be a setup for Jason—see if Jason wanted us both without him being roped into something because Kage and I were already making out in front of him.

  Moving away from Kage meant moving into Jason. He also kissed me—my forehead and eyelids, again absent and tired as he talked.

  “It helps to have a sibling,” Jason said. “The stronger the pack, the stronger the wolf, and all that. The only way we get through it is with family and orataj help.”

  “What about the bone? You managed to get home and chew a bone on your first time?” I asked.

  “Almost.” Grinning. “Home, and she gave it to me when she remembered. I was dead pleased with that bone. Only … the smell was so much … and my teeth hurt … I couldn’t do it. I carried it around, licked it, that was all. She kept it for me. After a couple changes I was able to chew on it, working my way up. Then she gave me a fresh one later from the kitchens when I really could enjoy them.”

  Not for the first time, I was struck by a deep affection for Tabitha and Thomas, Jason’s parents and Andrew’s adopted parents. How was it Jason had ended up so … unique after what seemed like such a stable upbringing?

  At the end of the day, could parents only do so much? Nature versus nurture? After the study I’d done, I believed that both were factors. Maybe Jason’s own brand of “messed up” was actually him at his best? So if he’d had anything less from his parents and upbringing he’d have been a total psychopath?

  But was he truly “messed up” at all, or was I being my most judgmental self?

  Should I forget passive aggressive and return to nothing but responding to Jason on face-value? That would mean believing such things as that Jason telling me Kage would be happy for us to sleep together in Yorkshire had been an honest mistake on his part—that he’d really thought that about Kage. Only … I didn’t believe it anymore. Possible? Yes. I wasn’t sure, didn’t want to be sure. Yet I was pretty sure, at least, that he’d deliberately lied and manipulated me.

  Then here we were, all cuddly and close and warm and … safe. I still felt good with them, still wanted to be with them. Not as safe and easy as with Kage alone, but safe in a bigger sense. A little bit of guard up around Jason. A little bit careful. It was still good with him—comfortable, mostly safe.

  It was also too hot between them—room already warm, sheet and duvet over us, then Jason’s added body heat forming the frosting on the sweat cake. They wore nothing but boxers, their muscles firmly defined through hot skin and only sparse chest hair. I, however, remained somewhat dressed.

  Jason kissed me when he trailed off with the bone story. A real kiss on the lips, gentle, yet not as gentle as he usually was. Tasting
and leaning in, twining the fingers of his left hand into my right.

  Kage was working to slide off my pajama bottoms.

  Jason wouldn’t be doing this if not for Kage. Damn Kage and his “Cassia’s cold” like he was giving Jason an order. No room left to watch and see what Jason did on his own when he came to bed.

  I broke the kiss, breaths shallow, fingers damp with sweat in his. “Jay, you don’t have to pretend to be more into me than you are.” An easy out. “I know you prefer males.”

  “And you, Cassia.” He disengaged his hand from mine to touch my face. “You’re right, but it’s not just us. Being with you and Kage both … that’s what I prefer.” He kissed me again. “I told you I wanted all three of us together. Partly about being with you … if that makes sense?” He licked my lips. I opened them and he slipped his tongue inside, lips meeting mine once more.

  It had to be true. He wasn’t denying that he and I weren’t made for each other. It was the three of us linked that made him interested in me at all. A sort of accessory to Kage, while he also got to be with Kage at the same time. It was honest: real. He wasn’t making some big effort, or pretending for me.

  Truth. Finally. Because he had what he wanted. He had everything to gain by this truth right now. Yes, he could keep Kage for himself, but Kage wouldn’t be happy that way. Neither would Jason.

  Truth. Right?

  Right, Jason?

  Did it matter? It mattered to me who I was sleeping with. Then again … I’d been letting myself in for many surprises in that area this summer. What were a few more?

  Chapter 26

  “You’re burning up.” Jason pushed back the covers and I found the room was cooling—the temperature outside having plunged with sunset.

  Was it really going to rain? Was Jed sheltered?

  Wondering about Jed made me wonder about Andrew. Was he okay? I felt like I should be with him. Someone should be with him, holding on so he didn’t break. And what about Isaac—the only one coming home to an empty house? Maybe he was the one who really needed me tonight. Which made me think not for the first time how difficult plural romantic relationships could become.

  Fresh air helped to wake me back up. Jason’s movement also made it easier for me to change position. I sat up and he moved with me to pull the tank top all the way off.

  Kage was grinning again, working out of his boxers while we were busy.

  Jason kissed and touched my neck and shoulders while we sat up together. He seemed tentative, holding back as he felt my jaw and collarbone with fingertips.

  “What?” I asked in a whisper.

  Maybe he would at least admit this was awkward for him.

  “You’re like a snowflake,” Jason said, smiling.

  “Excuse me?”

  “A snowflake, under magnification, you know?” He looked up to meet my eyes as well as he could in the orange glow. “A complex structure, but so light, so fragile. I mean … I know you’re not fragile. You’ve shown us that. It probably sounds daft. That’s just … how you look and feel to me.” Tracing my outline, watching my skin. “Like fine ice crystals. Like a snowflake.”

  It didn’t sound awkward. It sounded like Zar.

  And who was I kidding anyway? Jason either was totally sincere or he was a total master of his craft. Probably both at different times. One way or another, I wasn’t going to catch him up by some casual line to draw him out. Another reason not to try.

  “Keep in mind,” I said, “you’re comparing me to a bull. Most people look fragile if compared to that.”

  Kage was kissing down the sweaty small of my back, tugging the waistband again.

  “He’s picked up bikes for me that I was working on at home,” Jason said.

  “I bet he has. The heaviest thing I routinely pick up is a book.”

  Jason laughed.

  “Wish you’d pick her up,” Kage grumbled, losing patience with me.

  “What is it?” Jason seemed to be asking in response to his tone, not words.

  “I’m sitting on my pajamas,” I explained. “He doesn’t like it.”

  “Sorry,” Jason said uncertainly. He pulled off his own shorts—as if to lead by example.

  “Kage, stop it. You’re going to tear them.”

  “Then you do something.” He surged up to meet my face instead. The force of his kiss shoved me into Jason, who dropped his shorts on the floor and caught my shoulders.

  Surreal, being with them like this. It shouldn’t have been. I’d slept with them several times together. Even so, we’d literally slept at those times, and it hadn’t come on top of all my new discoveries about them, or extra mixed up feelings, or a travel day—spinning brain, churned emotions, exhaustion, worry. All of that meeting this safety: this comfort and warmth and love from them and … home.

  With Kage pushing and Jason keeping me from falling off the bed, telling Kage to move back, that we were out of space, I removed my pajama bottoms and underwear through the mix of bodies and sheet. We were all more or less sitting up, Jason with his legs out, Kage on his knees, leaning in and over me, myself on my hip, slipping out of the last of our clothes.

  He changed from the burning, arousing pressure on my mouth to biting my throat. His favorite, yet worse than ever.

  “Kage—” I caught my breath, wincing back, again hitting Jason. “Jay? Do you like this? The biting?”

  “Yes.” Jason once more sounded amused, mouth by my ear, twisting my hair around his finger so he could see Kage’s face on my neck. “Just tell him to be soft.”

  “I’ve tried that. Kage, that really hurts.”

  He broke the grip so he could talk. “Hardly touching you.” Breathless, his lips still against my throat.

  “I’m sorry. To me, it feels too hard.”

  “It’s nothing. Hard’s what he’s into.” Kage leaned around my shoulder to Jason.

  I squirmed up toward the pillows, trying not to be flattened between the two as Kage found his throat hold on Jason instead. Clutching the back of Jason’s head, keeping him in, he bit down so hard Jason choked, his chin thrown back, groaning, inviting. Muscles down Kage’s own neck and shoulders stood out, even in the gloom.

  I did not consider myself an especially sheltered person when it came to media, films, violent images, and so on. But, with recent exceptions involving murder victims and vampires and wildlife, there was no doubt I’d had a sheltered life when it came to real world, in-person situations dealing with what my sister and I had always lumped into the category of “crazy shit.”

  I suppose that’s why it freaked me out so much. I knew intellectually that Kage was not trying to kill Jason by biting through his windpipe with his skin-form teeth, even knew that Jason somehow liked what he was doing. All the same, seeing the obvious force, also knowing that just a bit more and he could be through the skin and could kill, deliberate or otherwise, was too much for me.

  My own throat felt constricted, heart hammering. I wanted to push them apart, but was afraid, thinking of a dog snapping down on a bone if you reach for it—instinctive bite and tug away.

  “Kage?” My own voice startled me even more with the faint breathiness, failing to control my emotions, but sounding just as scared as I felt. “Please let go.”

  He did, looking around to me instead while Jason coughed and gasped, pressing his left palm to his own throat as if also needing to assure himself the skin was not torn.

  “What’s wrong?” Kage asked me. As much as he had a way of charging forward with moose-like purpose for anything he wanted, he was nevertheless as sharply observant in lust as at other times. My annoyance or discomfort didn’t trouble him, but when he heard that particular tone he was concerned.

  “That’s really disturbing to see. Sorry … I didn’t … I shouldn’t flip out if that’s your thing. It’s totally up to you. Just maybe … not in front of me…”

  “I’m good, Cassia.” Jason, who sounded hoarse and coughed again, lifted my hand to feel his throat. H
is intention was reassuring: no bleeding wounds. It backfired, though.

  “Goddess, Jay, I can feel the indentations. That’s not—” I stopped myself, gulping, pulling my hand away. “Sorry. It’s not my place… I have no right to criticize—”

  “It’s all right,” Kage said. “Just trying to show you—”

  “What you think is a hard bite and what he thinks is a hard bite—” Jason said.

  “Are two separate bites,” Kage finished.

  “Start out overcorrecting,” Jason said. “May I?”

  I nodded. My heart was still pounding.

  He leaned over to kiss my throat, lips soft, a hand coming to rest between my shoulder blades, holding us together with a gossamer touch.

  “I’m sorry,” I repeated in a whisper. “I’m overreacting. It’s just … any of you being hurt … hurting each other … whatever the case may be… Circumstances of our lives lately may be making me too sensitive…”

  “Shhh…” Jason kept kissing my throat while I talked. “Snowflake. That’s fine, Cassia.” He traded with Kage, his free hand going to Kage’s back and massaging up to his neck while Kage also leaned in to kiss me.

  I relaxed with their touches, both for me and each other, yet grew even more embarrassed for freaking out.

  “It’s okay, Kage. You can use your teeth. I’m not a snowflake. I’m just … in between a snowflake and a wolf.”

  He opened his mouth around my throat, hot tongue pressing between his wide hold with his teeth. Still only a push, nothing like as forceful as he’d been starting out a minute ago.

  “That’s good.” I pressed my fingers through his hair. “You can do more than that too.” I twisted away so I could kiss his lips instead. “I love you.”

  “It’s all right, princess.” Kage stroked my cheekbone with his right thumb, returning my kiss. “Never been with a human aside from you. Don’t mean to hurt you.”

  “I know you don’t.”

  “Jay has. He knows better than me.”

  “Even that was still men, not women, right?”

  “They’d ask what I did for workouts,” Jason said, grinning from over Kage’s shoulder.