Where the Lies Hide

by Renee Roman

“Sure.” Cam gave her the address. “See you then.”

  Sarah hadn’t hesitated, and Cam questioned the real reason she wanted to be alone with her. The food arrived while Sarah still stood at the front door, and Cam was grateful for the distraction. Sarah looked as beautiful as always. Her hair was held in a loose tie at the nape of her neck. She wore a pair of faded, ripped jeans and a form-fitting long-sleeve T-shirt. The color was a shade of blue that highlighted her eyes. Focus. I can do this. She opened the door wider and stepped back to let her in.

  “Make yourself at home. I’ll be right there.” Cam paid for the food, closed the door, then took a breath before facing her. “I hope you like Chinese.” She hefted the shopping bag onto the dining room table and shared what she hoped was a smile that didn’t give away the butterflies in her stomach. She wasn’t sure why she suddenly felt like this was a first date with a woman she’d been crushing on, but it did.

  “It looks like you ordered enough for a dozen people.” Sarah helped pull out containers.

  Their hands brushed as they both reached inside. The resulting buzz shot through Cam with the intensity of an electric shock.

  “Are you expecting more people?”

  Sarah’s soft, teasing voice did nothing to halt her building desire. Cam shook her head. “No. Just us.” Once everything was out on the table she had to agree. There was way too much food. “I just ordered a bunch of different stuff because I wasn’t sure what you liked.”

  “You could have asked.” Sarah chuckled. “I brought a six-pack of beer.”

  Cam hadn’t noticed anything except Sarah. Not her signature carryall or the grocery bag she reached for.

  Sarah took out two bottles, twisted off the caps, and set one by each plate.

  Cam put her hands on her hips. “What, and spoil the fun of having a little of everything? No way.” She took the remaining bottles and slid them in the fridge, grateful for the opportunity to regroup. After taking her seat, she lifted her bottle and tipped it in Sarah’s direction. “To feast or not to feast.”

  Sarah clinked her bottle. “To feast!”

  “Dig in,” Cam said. She watched as Sarah opened containers. She wrinkled her nose at one or two, which transformed her face from beautiful to adorable, and once again Cam was swept away. She marveled at the smooth skin of Sarah’s throat and farther down to the hint of cleavage visible at the V-neck opening.

  After her plate was filled, Sarah glanced up at Cam. “Aren’t you eating?”

  Damn it. So much for not being distracted. “Uh-huh, but don’t wait for me. Eat while it’s hot.” Cam concentrated on the containers in an attempt to rein in her unprofessional thoughts. Her movements felt mechanical. It was hard to focus while Sarah moaned over her food. Cam’s sex tightened in response.

  “This is delicious,” Sarah said around a mouthful of General Tso’s chicken. She looked up, then smiled. “I rarely eat out or order in. This is a treat.” She moaned again. “Sorry,” she mumbled before swallowing. “I’m acting like I haven’t eaten in days.” She put her fork down and picked up her drink.

  If Cam wasn’t mistaken, Sarah looked embarrassed. She hated thinking Sarah was uncomfortable with her. It was the last thing she wanted. Regardless, she had to find out if there was a reason she seemed ravenous. “Have you?”

  Sarah’s brows knit in confusion.

  “Eaten?”

  Her cheeks flamed before Sarah dropped her gaze to the half-eaten plate of food. “I eat. No worries there.” She met Cam’s stare. “I may have forgotten today.”

  “What kept you so busy?”

  “I…uh…” Sarah stumbled and studied her plate before looking up. “I’m a bit behind on bills, so I spent the day at my shop, and I forgot to eat. If I can sell a piece or two it will help.” She glanced at her plate again. “But I’m not starving.”

  Cam grasped Sarah’s hand. “I’m sure you’ll work it out.” She slid her hand away. The flesh beneath her palm had been soft and firm at the same time, like Sarah. The sad part was she hadn’t realized Sarah’s financial situation was as bleak, or bleaker, than she thought, and she regretted having mentioned the need for more money.

  “Then you better eat up because there’s a decadent dessert for later, and I can’t possibly eat all this by myself.”

  “Good, because I’m still hungry and this is really good.” Sarah looked at her from beneath her eyelashes and smiled before picking up her fork.

  Was Sarah flirting with her? The tingle that shot down her spine in a most pleasant way landed with a thud in her crotch, doing nothing to help her keep her wits about her. She wasn’t sure if Sarah had meant to be seductive, but that’s how it felt.

  After another beer, they sat back with satisfied grins. She’d learned a bit about Sarah’s childhood along with several grade school antics.

  “I’d like to see your workshop sometime.”

  “Why?”

  Cam was the one who did the questioning. Sarah flipping the tables on her was unexpected. She shrugged, unprepared to answer. She thought up an excuse. “I’ve never known an artist.” Not a lie, but the reason was lame. Should I just tell her I want to spend more time with her? She wasn’t ready for rejection. Sarah watched her as she twirled the bottle clutched in her hands.

  “Okay.”

  Cam let out a breath.

  Sarah leaned in. “I know next to nothing about you in general, and I’ve never known a PI, so that makes us even.” Her brow moved upward.

  Cam laughed. “I guess it does.” She felt like she owed Sarah the courtesy of hearing a little about herself, so she told her a bit about Liv, though she left out exactly how they’d met.

  “Olivia sounds like a wonderful person. I’m so glad you can trust her.” Sarah’s face turned pensive.

  “Who do you trust, Sarah?”

  Sarah opened her mouth several times, but nothing came out before she shook her head and picked up her plate. “I’ll do the dishes.”

  Cam let it go as she closed up containers and placed them back in the shopping bag. All except the shrimp lo mein and the garlic chicken, which Sarah had avoided like the plague, and she slid everything into the fridge with plans on sending it home with Sarah. While she worked, her mind wandered back to their earlier conversation. As much as Cam was physically attracted to her, it was more than Sarah’s beauty. She and Sarah had a common thread—they’d both been given up. Maybe it was for totally different reasons, but the central theme was the same. They had been unwanted, though Sarah might have never made the connection since she’d always been loved. Cam fought the angst inside, where her younger self still had a voice, telling her to do everything in her power to make sure Sarah never felt a similar pain. Liv had been her savior, and Cam hoped she could do half as well for Sarah. The only remaining question was how.

  * * *

  The most logical thing to do was to decline Cam’s invitation and keep their relationship purely platonic. Then she’d decided the hell with logic and here she was. Sarah watched as Cam poured steaming coffee into a mug, and a slow smile appeared as the aroma filled the air. Until that moment, she hadn’t realized how much she missed being around her. She had the perfect opportunity to stare at Cam’s high, firm-looking ass and narrow waist. She wasn’t pretty in a traditional sense, but she was alluring and sensuous in many ways. Her long dark hair and matching eyelashes highlighted her hazel eyes. Her voice was deeper than her appearance would suggest without being masculine. She talked with passion about her work, and when she became serious on a particular subject, her eyes flamed with intensity. Her fingers were slender and sure. Sarah envisioned how they would feel on her skin, and her breath froze. No, no. She couldn’t go there. Not with Cam. Not with…

  “I can’t remember if you take sugar, but I have several kinds.” Cam placed a bowl of packets on the table.

  She jumped, startled from indulging any further in her overactive imagination. It took her a few beats to catch up. “Sugar? A little.” She acc
epted the mug from Cam’s outstretched hand, then reached for a packet of brown sugar.

  “Where’d you go?”

  Sarah’s cheeks heated and she shrugged, hoping the subject would be dropped. She should have known better.

  “Sarah, you don’t have to be secretive.” Cam sat and added a splash of cream to her coffee.

  “Is that because you’d put your investigative powers to work on me?” Sarah asked.

  Cam shook her head. “I’d never try to force you to tell me something you didn’t want to, but if something’s bothering you, I hope you know you can trust me with whatever it is.”

  The sincerity in her voice made Sarah second-guess her decision of keeping their relationship purely professional.

  “Why are you single?” Oh fuck. She couldn’t believe she’d just blurted out what she’d been wondering since they’d met.

  “I…” Cam faltered.

  Sarah laughed. “See? It’s not that easy to spill your guts.”

  Cam smiled into her mug as she took a sip. “Touché.”

  “You don’t have to answer. It’s none of my business.” She needed to focus anywhere except on Cam’s gentle expression staring back at her.

  Cam let out a long breath before touching Sarah’s hand again. “Sarah, I don’t tell many people about my life, or my past. It’s dangerous to let anyone have an upper hand in my line of work.”

  “I get that.” Sarah waved her hand dismissively. “Besides, I don’t think that’s the reason you invited me here.”

  Cam cringed inwardly. Even though her excuse was the truth, it was just that, an excuse for not opening up to Sarah. It was the same line she gave to any woman who got too curious. The sad part was she wanted to open up to her. And unless she was losing her touch, she would bet money Sarah was attracted to her, too. But she couldn’t cross that line. Not now. Maybe not ever.

  “I met with your biological father, Paul. I caught him off guard, but he said he thought the day would come when someone would approach him about his past.”

  Sarah stared ahead. “Do you believe that?”

  “I do. He…” Cam thought about how much she should reveal about Paul’s emotional state. “He never wanted to give up either of you. It was all your birth mother’s doing.”

  Sarah’s head came up. “And what does she have to say about that?” she asked.

  She tried to keep her voice neutral. “She wasn’t there. She’s deceased, and they were never married.”

  “Oh.” Sarah’s looked away. She took her time and drank from her mug.

  Cam reached for Sarah but stopped short of touching her, though she ached for physical contact. “Paul seems genuinely interested in meeting you.”

  Sarah’s lips thinned. “Then why didn’t he try to find me?”

  Here goes. “He did. Find you, I mean. The same way you hired me to find your brother. I think he was afraid you’d hate him for what happened, but that’s something you’d have to ask him yourself.” Cam wasn’t sure if Sarah’s silence was a good thing. “But that’s not the real reason I asked you here.”

  A few long minutes later, Sarah broke the quiet. “What was it then?”

  As much as she was glad to drop the focus from herself, she was dreading what she was going to tell Sarah. The news from Jimmy Barnes hadn’t given her any reassurance that Brace had redeeming qualities. From what she’d learned he was a cop gone bad, and she didn’t want Sarah anywhere near him. In fact, if she had her way, she wouldn’t tell Sarah anything at all about her long-lost twin. She’d never breached the ethical line and she was uncomfortable she had even considered it. But it wasn’t up to her.

  “I have a really bad feeling in my gut about some of the trails I’ve been following, and it’s never let me down before.”

  Sarah’s eyes hardened. “So, what are you saying?”

  “I know how much finding your brother means to you.”

  “No, I don’t think you do, but go on.”

  “I just don’t want whatever I find to be worse than the not knowing. Maybe we shouldn’t spend more time or money on this.” She looked away. Her professional side was at war with her personal one. The one that cared for Sarah so much she would jeopardize her ethics. “Maybe you could let it go for now.”

  The look on Sarah’s face left no doubt she was pissed at the idea of giving up. “I knew it.” Sarah slammed the table with her fist. “All that talk about being the best and always finding who you were looking for was just a crock of shit.” Sarah stood and grabbed her satchel, slinging it over her shoulder so hard she almost strangled herself. “Well, guess what, Stark? I don’t have any more fucking money to hire someone else, so you’re it.”

  “Sarah, that’s not—”

  The door slammed so hard Cam thought she heard the wood crack. She knew she should go after her. Should have tried to make Sarah see she was doing her job. Maybe a little too well. Considering the lack of information she’d shared, maybe Sarah was right. But it’s not like she’d had the chance. Well, that wasn’t totally true. Cam had been hedging all evening. Maybe she’d had no intention of telling Sarah any of what she’d learned and was just stringing her along hoping she’d drop the idea of finding her brother altogether so Cam could pursue her in a less than professional manner. But she really did believe that if Brace came into Sarah’s life, he’d bring a world of trouble with him.

  “Jesus Christ, Stark. You’ve really fucked this one up.”

  Cam robotically picked up the dining room then stood staring out the kitchen window. Defeat hadn’t ever been in her DNA. Sure, she’d been lost as a teenager, but she’d come through the other side. Those long-ago feelings rushed to the forefront as she paced around the house mumbling to herself for the better part of an hour before picking up her cell. There had only ever been one person who could talk her out of the funk she was spiraling into, and she prayed Liv would answer the phone.

  * * *

  The next day, Cam listened to the steady heartbeat beneath her head, finding the same comfort she’d always found in Liv’s embrace. Their relationship would probably baffle most people’s perception of what was “normal.” She was okay with that. Liv had never asked for anything for herself, though Cam hoped she provided something that Liv needed, too. She owed so much to the woman who had given her a second chance, and then a third when she’d fucked up shortly after agreeing to Liv’s terms. Liv had been the mother’s love she never knew, the father’s direction she’d never had, and the kindness and understanding she’d been convinced she’d never find anywhere else.

  “What has you so tangled up inside?” Liv stroked her back.

  The rough pads of her fingertips reminded Cam hard work was honest work. Liv was nothing but honest in everything she did. She had cared for Cam when she thought no one could, or would, telling Cam “even a blade of grass deserves to be cared for.”

  Cam’s anger at herself had melted into sobs of despair after Liv had pulled her in for the hug she admitted she needed. She sighed against the warm, firm flesh under her cheek. “A client.”

  “Uh-huh.”

  Liv continued to soothe her, and the motion made the last vestiges of her resolve to not bring up Sarah melt away. Liv had a way of helping her bare her soul, and Cam believed it was the one thing that had saved her from herself.

  “Sarah’s…different.”

  Liv lifted her chin so she could see Cam’s face, as though searching for what she wasn’t saying. “Different in what way?

  “I think she’s getting…inside,” Cam whispered as she shivered. The wall she’d constructed around her heart had weakened. It had never happened before, and she didn’t know what to do.

  “Everyone lets someone in at some point in their life. I’d say you’re finally ready, but it’s scaring the hell out of you.”

  She chuckled. Liv knew her better than anyone. “Maybe.” It was hard to admit, even to Liv. In many ways she was still a loner, and it came down to a matter of trust. With L
iv, the trust between them had grown over time at her own pace. With Sarah, it felt more like a wrecking ball, smashing against her barriers every time they were together. If she let Sarah close she was going to want to know everything about her. It could be the reason she’d remained single for so long. But they were childish fears and she needed to let go of them if she were to have a meaningful shot at something deeper.

  “Maybe.” Cam slowly moved out of Liv’s embrace, and sat cross-legged on the sofa, like she used to when she’d first come to live with her. “I can’t deny she’s the first woman I’ve even considered letting get close.” Then she remembered how things had ended between them, and her heart seized. She lowered her head, closing her eyes against the sting.

  Liv faced her, leaning against the opposite corner. “What happened?”

  Cam gave her the abbreviated version of everything that had transpired. Liv interrupted her a few times for clarification, and now Cam could see she was mulling over everything she’d told her.

  “You have a shine for Sarah, and you think if you give her what she’s paying you for, she’ll end up in danger, and you won’t have an opportunity to pursue her in a romantic capacity.”

  She opened her mouth, then snapped it shut. There wasn’t any way around what Liv had so easily figured out in a very short amount of time. And really, was there a good reason to deny the facts?

  “Even after all this time you can’t think I’d lost my ability to read you, do you?” Liv laughed.

  Cam had to agree with how ridiculous it sounded. “No.” She smiled.

  “So, what do you want to do about it?” Liv disappeared into the kitchen, giving her time to think. She returned with bottles of beer, handing one to Cam.

  “You make it sound so simple and it’s anything but.”

  Liv took a drink. “You always were a deep thinker.”

  Cam grimaced. “Is that a bad thing?”

  Their gazes met. “It can be when it’s keeping you from taking a chance on love.” Liv nudged her knee with her foot. “Stubborn cuss.”

  She laughed. “Hey. I should be offended.”