by Imogen Wells
A half hour later, Sully is ready to leave and asks me to show him out. After saying goodbye to Cam, I follow him to the lift.
“What’s up?” I ask, once we are out of ear shot.
“I’ve had a message that Sean might have a man in Manchester.” I scowl at him. “It only just came through, so it’s a new development, and I don’t know how accurate it is. It also doesn’t mean that they are here for her, although it’s highly suspicious. You just need to be on your guard, that’s all. I’ll keep you posted, oh and, Blue, try and keep it in your pants, yeah? We can’t afford for your dick to fuck us all over.”
“What the fuck ever, man. I already told you, it’s not like that, and just because I might want her riding my cock doesn’t mean I’m going to let her. I can handle some blue balls until we finish the job.”
Sully scoffs at that. “You and I both know that when you want something you always get it. And you sure as shit didn’t get your name because of your ability to deal with blue balls.” He offers a sarcastic pat to the shoulder before getting in the lift. I offer him the middle finger just as the doors close.
Eleven
Camryn
Unbelievable! I sit here quietly seething over Blue’s last comment while he sees Rick out, no doubt having a laugh at my expense. I think I should be done with it and become a damn nun. I can feel my libido pitching a fit in the box she’s currently locked up tight in at the thought of never having sex again. Well, good. It’s her fault in the first fucking place and would serve her right.
I always thought any man that tried to control me I’d send packing, and I would have too. Being with Sean changed that, somewhere along the way I let him take charge, and by the time I realised, it was too late, he’d changed. Gone was the loving boyfriend I’d fallen in love with, and in his place stood a man I no longer recognised. A man so full of anger and rage, possessiveness became the definition of our relationship. I remember the first time he hit me, I was so shocked, and he was so remorseful afterwards, that I just put it down to a one-off.
I thought I would surprise Sean at the office with lunch and maybe a little dessert too. So, I had dressed myself in my sexiest lingerie and a simple black dress with some killer heels. On the way there I’d contemplated calling ahead to make sure he was free, but decided against it, not wanting to ruin the surprise.
As I exited the lift on his floor, I noticed that Tina wasn’t at her desk, thinking she’d probably gone to lunch I continued to his office. The door was closed, and I could hear voices, that should have been my first clue. As I got closer, I realised it wasn’t voices I could hear but moans and grunts, at one point I even heard the sound of furniture being scraped across the floor. Feeling sick at what I had heard, I raced to the bathroom, emptying my stomach as I reached the toilet bowl.
Once my stomach was empty and the retching stopped, I’d gathered myself together, touched up my make-up, smoothed down my dress and checked my hair in the mirror and attempted to remove all hints of tears from my face, then headed back towards his office. Just as I rounded the corner, Tina was coming out of his office, and I’d watched as he smacked her on the arse before sending her on her way. I’d paused, making sure neither of them saw me. Not wanting to see either of them for fear of what I might do, I had turn-tailed and ran down the fire escape stairs.
When Sean came home that afternoon, I was waiting for him in the kitchen, with my bags packed ready at the front door.
He came in just like any other day, but I knew the instant he’d seen my bags, as I watched his reaction from the doorway.
“Kasey? Kasey, where are you?” he called, repeating it when I still hadn’t answered him. As he made his way to the stairs, he spotted me and instantly changed direction, coming straight for me. “Hey gorgeous, what’s with the bags,” he asked, as he leaned in to kiss me on the cheek. At the last second, I moved out of his reach. He frowned, and confusion covered his face.
“How was your day at the office?” I asked, trying to keep the contempt from my voice, but not doing a very good job. “How’s Tina?” And this time I’d let my derision show. Taking a step back I watched the frown turn to a sinister smirk that had made my blood run cold.
“No need to pretend, Kase, I know you came to the office today. It’s a shame you didn’t stick around, you could have joined us. There’s nothing better than having two whores servicing you at the same time,” he sneered.
“Fuck you, Sean! I’m out. I won’t sit around and let you make a fool out of me.” I moved past him, then span back round, “I’m nobody’s whore, you make me sick.” And I stormed towards the front door. I didn’t make it five steps before I was twirled back round, so disorientated that I didn’t have a chance to dodge the palm headed for my face. It landed with a crack, throwing my head to the side. Immediately, I had raised my hand to my face and could feel the burn there. I had been so shocked I just ran upstairs instead of away. Maybe that had been the first nail in my coffin.
That was the first time I let a man lay his hands me, and the first time I knew Sean cheated. But they were by no means the last. My thought process at that time was so messed up. I allowed him to sweet talk me, fell for his charms all over again. God, what a fucking fool I am.
It was good for a while after that, until it happened again and again and again. He became angrier, more possessive, and when I found out I was pregnant, I stupidly thought things would change. If anything, they got even worse, hitting me was no longer enough. A shiver runs down my back at the thought. Shaking it off, I focus back in the now.
Blue asserting his authority certainly got my back up, but it’s not the same. I think what irritated and confused me more was I liked it. Maybe Sean took more than my heart, ripping it out, crushing my resolve, breaking my backbone and leaving me a shadow of my former self. He doomed me with some innate attraction to possessive, domineering arseholes for the rest of my life. Destined to become a statistic, just another battered wife, but that’s wrong. With Blue it doesn’t feel like that, and that scares the absolute shit out of me.
Getting up, I walk to the balcony doors taking in the view. The sun sits high in the sky, meaning it must be around midday. My mind is a tumult of emotions that will only get worse over the next few weeks as the anniversary of my mum and daughter’s death approaches.
My beautiful, bright, baby girl, who didn’t deserve to have her life snatched away before it had even begun. The worst part is I can’t even visit her grave or mourn her properly. I can’t do any of that, and I guess in some way, that’s just another way to punish me. That’s what I deserve for bringing her into this world, causing her pain and suffering, even before she was born. I can never absolve myself of the guilt I feel, and I’m okay with that, it can have me. Festering away, writhing inside like maggots in a dead carcass, and reminding me every day of what I have done.
I feel the tears pricking at my eyes, but I don’t let them fall, not again. I’ve already cried enough today.
I know Blue is behind me and has been for the last couple of minutes. I can feel him, sense his every move, hear his breath that has all the tiny hairs on my arms standing to attention. He steps up close, this is becoming a habit, brushing his front against my back, and for a split second I close my eyes and revel in the feel of him there. Then I lock it away, shut down the safe, comforting feeling that he induces in me and spin on my heels to face him.
I lock eyes with him, although I have to crane my neck to do it, “Don’t ever think you have the right to tell me what I will and won’t do again. Do you understand me?” My voice is strong despite my recent thoughts, and I watch a small muscle in his jaw tick before I continue. “I just escaped one domineering arsehole, and I damn well didn’t go through it all to fall into the arms of another.” My last words are punctuated by my finger poking his chest. His all muscle, sexy as fuck chest. Don’t think about it. Move your finger away, don’t do it. I don’t listen. Instead, I push my open palm to the centre of his chest, spla
ying my fingers over it. I can feel his heartbeat, just as erratic as my own. Our eyes are still locked onto each other, and I see the desire in his eyes. Hell, it’s reflected back in mine.
He takes a step forward, keeps coming until my back hits the window, and then he lifts his hand toward my face, and I flinch. It’s minute but I know he saw it, dropping his hand back to his side.
“Are you done?” he asks, and I nod. “Let’s get one thing straight, don’t ever compare me to that cunt of an ex-boyfriend. I am not nor will I ever be anything like him. I would never lay a finger on a woman. Especially not one that I love.” He pauses, searching my face, for what I don’t know, but he must find it there because he nods and carries on. “When I fuck you, and I will, make no mistake it’s gonna happen, there won’t be a drop of fear in your face, in your eyes or your heart. The only look on your face will be one of pure pleasure as I drive my cock into your tight little pussy, and you’ll love every second. You’ll be begging me to never stop.” And with that he turns away, walking to the lift. “Come on, Bambi, let’s get you home so you can change that sexy little thong I know you’re wearing.”
Holy fuck, shit and damn! I’m fucked. Or I will be, thoroughly so, according to Mr I’m-the-dogs-fucking-bollocks-at-screwing. “Hey, how did you know I was wearing a thong?” I call out as I jog to catch up to him. Out of everything he just said, that’s what I ask?
“Lucky guess,” he calls over his shoulder.
“Perv.”
“And proud I am too. Took me forever to get that title.” He chuckles, as we enter the lift.
“Is that how you get your women? Stalker alert.”
“Nah, don’t need to, they usually follow me like lovesick puppies.”
“Cocky much,” I say, rolling my eyes at him.
“Nope. Not cocky if it’s true. Statement of fact, simple as that, Bambi.” And now he fucking laughs, a fully on belly laugh. I’ve barely seen a smile cross his face, but that has him laughing. Figures.
“Jerk!” I mutter, as we step out of the lift and cross the lobby. “And why the hell do you keep calling me Bambi, for fucks sake?” And as the words leave my mouth, my ankle rolls, and I almost hit the deck, again. Blue grips my arm and holds me up.
“And there, Bambi, is your answer,” he snickers, as he releases me.
“So fucking funny.” I humph, but when I look over at Blue, I can’t help the laugh that escapes. It feels good, freeing and I can’t remember the last time I did it.
As we exit the building Blue grabs my hand again. I don’t know why, and I don’t question it. I’m happy in this moment. His car is already there waiting, and he leads me round to the passenger side, opening the door for me to slide in. Once I’m settled, he leans over, and for a second, I think he’s going to kiss me, but he reaches past me, plugging in my belt. I watch him as he passes the front of the car to the driver’s side, and the smirk on his face brings a smile to my own.
Twelve
Unknown
I watch as Ryder and Kasey walk down the steps to the waiting car. Grabbing my phone, I push dial and bring it to my ear as it starts to ring.
“Well?”
“It’s her, she’s with him, just like you said she would be. They’ve been at his apartment for hours, probably fucking,” I say, knowing it will piss him off. Shame he can’t see the smile that brings to my face.
“Fucking cunt!” he shouts down the phone. I pull the phone from my ear so he can’t hear the laugh bubbling up from me. “Where are they now?”
“They are just leaving his apartment; do you want me to follow?” I ask.
“No, I fucking don’t. What are you some kind of fucking idiot? Just do what we discussed and nothing more. If you fuck this up for me, you can forget that little promise I made you, instead you’ll be digging another grave. For yourself.” Then the line goes dead. Fucking prick! If he thinks I’m gonna screw this up and miss out on a free ride of that nice bit of arse right there, he’s deluded. There’s got to be some perks to this shit show of a job.
After checking my watch, I have enough time to get rid of the vehicle I borrowed, head back to the hotel and change ready for later. Switching the engine on, I spin onto the other side of the road and head off.
Thirteen
Camryn
When we arrive back to Jamie’s place, her car isn’t in the drive, and I assume she must have gone shopping. Despite all the bags she came in with on Friday night, there was nothing that would constitute a meal. I head straight for the stairs when we enter, keen to get the phone so Blue can go.
“Two secs, I’ll grab the phone so you can get going,” I call out, as I take the stairs two at a time. Reaching my room, I grab the phone from the drawer I stashed it in and head back down. When I get there, Blue isn’t in the hall, no, the cheeky fucker has taken up residence on the sofa in the lounge, and even switched the TV on. Feeling slightly irked by his assumption that he’s welcome to stay, I march towards him and thrust the phone at him.
“Here you go, is there anything else I can get you? A drink, maybe?” He takes the phone without even taking his eyes off the TV and proceeds to tell me a cup of tea would be great. Completely missing, or more likely, ignoring my sarcasm. The absolute gall of this man! I bite my tongue, but just as I decide I’m going to give him a piece of my mind the front door opens, and in walks Jamie, shouting out for a hand with the shopping. Before I even have a chance to reply, Blue is up and out the door carrying bags through to the kitchen like he damn well lives here.
After helping Jamie with the shopping, she makes a start on dinner and Blue returns to the lounge, but not before reminding me about that cup of tea. So, I make him his damn tea, taking my frustrations out on the cupboards. I can feel Jamie’s eyes on me the whole time as I crash and stomp around the kitchen. I even contemplating swapping out his sugar. Petty, I know, but I’m feeling— I don’t even know what I’m feeling.
Coming back into the kitchen after taking Blue’s tea to him and damn near throwing it over him, Jamie asks how my day went. That’s it, that one question opens the flood gates to me spouting off my anger at Blue, at Sean, although I don’t actually mention him, the fact that I haven’t had sex in forever, and that infuriating man in there has me wound tighter than a damn spring. All the while Jamie just stands there watching me before declaring.
“You need to get laid.” Waving her knife at me and telling me sexual frustration is as bad for your health as stress. “You should totally jump his bones,” she casually announces. Seeing my face, she shrugs. “Well, at the very least you should go and rub one out.”
“Jamie,” I cry, then lower my voice, not wanting Blue to hear, “Do you have to be so— vulgar?”
“What? Come on, Cam, It’s only natural. Nothing wrong with getting yourself—”
“What’s only natural?” Blue asks from behind me. God, I wish that voice didn’t do delicious things to my body. I’m sitting at the breakfast bar, and of course, he comes and takes the seat right next to me, his thigh brushing against mine as he settles onto the stool. I know what’s coming. I look to Jamie, narrowing my eyes at her and imploring her not to do it.
“You know, flicking the bean, paddling the pink canoe, buttering your muffin, auditioning the finger puppets.” She actually fucking waves her two fingers in the air like puppets. “Basically, getting yourself off,” she states, shrugging, and then carries on with chopping whatever the fuck she’s chopping. Absolutely no shame. I hang my head in my hands, as Blue lets out a laugh beside me.
“Now that’s fucking funny. Paddling the pink canoe, I’ve not heard that one before,” Blue says, humour lacing his words.
“I’m out,” I say, jumping down from my stool and heading for the stairs. I can hear them laughing and talking as I reach my room, it’s kind of nice, but it makes me nervous too.
After I got with Sean most of my girl friends slowly disappeared, but Laura and Sam stuck with me—for a while. They would complain that I did
n’t spend enough time with them, that Sean controlled my life, but I was in love and wanted to spend all my time with him.
Then when Laura accused Sean of coming on to her, claiming he groped her at a club one night, I put it down to jealousy. God. I was so fucking blind. I should have listened to my friends. Friends that I’d grown up with, especially Laura. We’d known each other since primary school, but after that we drifted apart. And now I see it for what it was; Sean isolating me.
Listening to Blue and Jamie laughing and joking seems so natural, like that’s how it should be, and that makes me uncomfortable. How can a man I’ve only known for five minutes fit into my new life so perfectly? I feel so confused when Blue’s around because I know that he’s a dangerous man, strong and powerful, yet there is something more than that. He has my body wanting and feeling things I never thought it would again. Blue doesn’t scare me physically. Emotionally? Without a doubt.
I throw my hair up into a messy bun and take a quick shower. Stepping back into my room, I find Blue sitting on the end of my bed, elbows resting on his knees, head down. Given that he hasn’t looked up, I guess he didn’t hear me come in. Suddenly, I’m all too conscious that I’m only wearing a towel and horny as hell, and this guy sets my blood racing faster than a McLaren F1 car.
“What the fuck, Blue!”
He raises his head just enough to look up at me, “Sorry,” he says, his lip curls up as his eyes rake over me, taking in my lack of clothing. “Nice shower?” he asks with a wink, trying to get a rise out of me, but I just glare at him. Rising to his feet he says, “I got a call, I need to head out, and I didn’t want to leave without saying bye.”