by Imogen Wells
There is no sign of Jamie, but I’m not surprised after her late shift last night. Not having a car means I have to rely on Jamie or public transport, which I’m lucky enough to have right on my doorstep.
Making sure I have everything, I open the front door and crash into…looking up, a hard chest belonging to— “Blue! What are you doing here?” Then I spot the two men standing next to a car parked on the street. “What’s going on, is something wrong?” When I look back at him, he’s openly staring at me, eyes hooded and blatant desire shines in his eyes. It suddenly feels extremely hot out here, despite the early spring chill in the air. Waving my hand in front of his face, his gaze locks back on to mine. “Are you done eyeing me up like I’m your next meal?” I jest.
Snapping out of it, he grabs my hand, leading me down the path, “Hey! Hold on I need to shut the door,” I say, as I pull against his hold on me. For a split second, his grip tightens before letting me go completely. I rush back, pulling the door shut and double checking it’s closed fully before moving back to Blue, who immediately takes up my hand again. Feeling nervous now, I ask him again what’s wrong.
“Nothing, everything is fine. I came to introduce you to your security detail,” he replies, as we approach the two men.
Both are standing with their hands in front of their bodies, hands crossed over like soldiers and dressed in black suits. The one on the left is wearing sunglasses making it difficult for me to get a good read on him and it makes me weary. He’s tall, around 6’ with almost black hair that’s cut close on the sides, a little longer on top, but not as long as Blue’s. He has a strong jaw and a few days growth that makes his baby face more manly. He appears to be about the same age as me, probably in his mid to late twenties. He offers a simple head nod as Blue introduces him as Scott.
Turning to the guy on the right, who Blue tells me is Russ, I’m greeted by warm brown eyes and a smile that no doubt has the ladies tripping over themselves to get in his bed. Russ is a little older, early thirties maybe, there are flecks of grey peppering his dark brown hair. He’s lean and slightly taller than me, and I notice a tattoo hidden below the cuff of his suit jacket, but I can’t make out what.
Blue tells me that they will drive me to and from work every day and anywhere else I need to go. To say I’m pissed about this arrangement would be the understatement of the fucking year. And it’s so far from what I agreed with Rick, it’s out the ballpark as the Americans would say. I wear my distaste like a badge, but all that does is have Blue chuckling like a five-year-old. The man is insufferable.
I quietly fume all the way to work, while Russ attempts to talk to me, but I reply with short and to the point answers. Scott drives, and apart from the occasional grunt doesn’t say a word. The man has some serious ‘don’t poke the bear’ vibes going on.
The rest of my day goes by quickly, as does the whole week. I don’t see or hear from Blue at all.
Returning from lunch on Friday, Gloria the receptionist on my floor, tells me that I had a delivery while I was out, and she put it on my desk. Adding what a lucky lady I am. Confused by her comment, I head to my desk, but as I round the corner, I don’t even need to go any further. Sitting on my desk is a huge bouquet of black lilies. Before I can catch my breath or take another step, my eyes glaze over, black spots appearing in front of me, and my legs give out from underneath me.
I come to laid out on a couch in one of the offices. I try to sit up but am stopped by a large hand on my shoulder, and when I look up, I’m met by those sky-blue eyes I’m coming to love an awful lot.
“Take it easy, don’t try to get up too quickly, you might have banged your head when you fainted.” I bristle at his words, which is a little unfair given he has no clue how many times I’ve likely had a concussion over the years. Refusing to be fussed over, I sit up, and this time I brush his hand away when he tries to stop me.
“I’m fine, stop fussing.” I swing my legs round so I’m facing him from his position kneeling on the floor. “What are you doing here anyway?” My head feels a little woozy, and my mouth is dry. Licking my lips to moisten them a bit, Blue notices and passes me a bottle of water from the floor beside him. I take it, gratefully. Before he can answer, the door opens and Sandra, my head of department, pops her head in.
“Ahh, Cam, it’s good see you’re okay.” Then she turns her attention to Blue. “Your car is out front and ready when you are Mr. Hawkins.” Blue thanks her, and then she tells me she’ll see me Monday.
“What does she mean she’ll see me Monday? I still have half a day of work to do,” I exclaim.
“No, you don’t. You’re going home—with me,” he states definitively.
“Excuse me? The hell I fucking am!” I shout, then remember where we are. “If I can’t work, then I’ll be going back to Jamie’s, she’ll be expecting me,” I tell him, getting to my feet. My legs feel like jelly and my head is pounding, but I stay on my feet.
“I’ve already spoken to her, and as she is working again tonight, she thinks it’s a good idea,” Blue tells me, his manner matter of fact and leaving no room for argument.
I place my hands on my hips and glare at him. I swear if my eyes were lasers, he’d be in teeny tiny pieces right now. He doesn’t even look at me, just moves to the door, holding it open for me, and follows behind me till we reach his car.
I don’t bother arguing with him on the drive, instead I sit and think up creative ways to castrate him. Cocky, arrogant, bossy, bull-headed arsehole! Sexy you forgot sexy, whispers my sex starved libido. Oh, shut up! My head is throbbing, and I’m still a little woozy. All I really want to do is go home and curl up in my bed. But no—instead, I’ve got to endure Captain-fucking-Hawkins all night.
I had hoped that by the time we arrived, my anger would have subsided, but I couldn’t have been more wrong.
As soon as we enter his apartment, the dam bursts, and I let him have it, both barrels.
Fifteen
Camryn
“What gives you the right to come to my work, laying down the law and telling me what the fuck I’m going to do? I didn’t call you.” Now I come to think of it, “Actually, who even did call you, how did you know I fainted?” I fire questions, all the while advancing on him with fury in my blood. I don’t give him the chance to answer even one, they just keep coming. “You’re not in the army now, I’m not one of your little soldiers you can order around. My god, where do you get off,” I say, throwing my hands up in the air. “I don’t need a damn babysitter, Blue! You can’t just stroll into my life and take control. I don’t need another fucking controlling, psycho wanker in my life, I’ve had more than my fair share. I’ve also had more than a few concussions in my short life. Here’s a list of other injuries for your notes; broken ribs, broken wrist, knife wounds that Freddie fucking Kruger would be proud of and more bruises than Muhammad Ali had in his whole damn career.” I pause, leaning over to rest my hands on my knees and pull in a couple of breaths.
When I raise my head to look at Blue, he’s got his fists clenched at his sides, and his nostrils are flaring like a dragon about to breathe fire. Who knows, maybe he will.
As I slowly stand back up, he takes a step towards me. A trickle of fear scatters up my spine, but I straighten my back, lifting my chin and standing my ground. I don’t fear what he’ll do to me. I fear the look in his eyes, and the lick of arousal that’s mixed with the fear inside me. My body is like a tightly wound coil, ready to snap at any moment.
“Are you fucking finished with your tantrum? Good, now it’s my turn. Your work called me because I had my details added to your emergency contacts.” Oh, my fucking god! I’m speechless. “And you’re right, I might not be in the army anymore but giving orders is par for the course in this job. Lastly, where I get off is, this is my job and—”
Yep, there it is. Ping! “Yeah, and I’m just another job, right, Blue?” I wave him off like it’s nothing. Well, apparently it is fucking nothing. “Do you flirt and kiss all you
r female clients, Blue? Why I’m so surprised, I don’t fucking know,” I sneer at him, spinning on my heels and storming off—where exactly, I have no fucking clue. I just know I need to get away from him before I lose my mind.
I don’t make it more than two steps before he grabs my arm, spinning me round and catching my face in his hands. He slams his lips to mine, and my body instantly reacts to him. My hands grip his shirt as he pushes me back until I hit the wall, crushing his hips against mine as our tongues battle against each other. Feeling his arousal through the thin material of his trousers. I break the kiss on a soft moan, and as though a fire has been lit inside of me, I start tearing at his clothes. Running my hands up his chest, pulling at the buttons of his shirt as he slides a hand down the side of my body, brushing my breast as he goes before gripping my hip. His other hand slips to the back of my neck, grabbing my hair and yanking my head back to trail kisses and tiny nips down my throat, across my collarbone, and when his tongue licks at my pulse as it beats likes a trapped butterfly, I groan low in my throat.
The sound elicits a growl that rumbles up Blue’s chest as his hand dips inside my trousers, I’m so completely lost in the moment I hadn’t even realised he’d undone them. I gasp as his fingers slide beneath my underwear, slowly slipping through my wet folds. Fuck! He slides his finger back and forth, spreading my juices to my clit before focusing his attention there, rubbing in slow, torturous circles that has another moan falling from my lips.
I grab his hair pulling his face back to mine, kissing him, and in the exact same moment as I bite down hard on his bottom lip, drawing blood, he thrusts two fingers into my throbbing pussy. I convulse around the delicious intrusion, gripping his shirt so hard I hear it tear, but I don’t care. I don’t care about anything else at this moment. All I want is to chase the pleasure he’s creating in me, I want more, all of it.
With an unrivalled need, I yank at the last few buttons of his shirt and shove it down his shoulders, unable to get it all the way off, I push him back a step. His fingers slip from me, and I moan at the loss. Blue throws his shirt off before gripping mine, he rips it open, buttons flying off and pinging as they hit the floor. As soon as I have his trousers undone, I reach in, wrapping my hand around him, he’s rock-hard, as smooth as silk and big. So fucking big. That has me hesitating for a beat, then Blue pulls away, ripping my trousers and underwear down, and lifting me up in one fluid action. My back slams against the wall as I wrap my legs around him, his hard cock rubs on my clit as he gently rocks his hips making my eyes roll, and my head fall back, hitting the wall.
As the pressure low in my belly builds into a delicious peak, I grab his shoulders, moving my own hips in time with his, making him growl so deep that it sets my body alight, and just before I explode, he pulls back and thrusts forward, impaling me on his cock, both of us moaning at the contact. He holds himself there inside me, as if he’s on the edge, and the thought that he’s just as wild and turned on as me, at being inside me, stretching me perfectly, has my pulse racing. His scent envelops us as he moves his hips back slowly before ramming back into me. It drives me over the edge, and I let go. That one thrust has me falling apart in his arms, and I shout out my release as he continues to pump his hips.
“Ahhh, fuck, Ryder!” I shout, as I rake my nails down his back. I grip his shoulders tighter as he speeds up, fucking me harder, and when he hits that sweet spot inside, I fall over the edge again, convulsing around him as he roars out his own release.
We stay locked together, breathing heavily, his head resting in the crook of my neck as we come down from the high. My body feels boneless, but as my mind slowly returns, my thoughts turn to what we just did. Shit, shit, shit!
“Are you okay?” is whispered against my heated flesh stopping my mind from spiralling.
“Yeah, I’m good,” I rasp. My throat is clogged with mixed emotions, and I barely get the words past my lips. Ryder, almost unwillingly, lowers my legs to the ground, but maintains his hold on me, ensuring I’m steady on my feet before releasing me fully. He drops a tender kiss to the side of my neck, sending a spark of pleasure rushing over my skin before pulling his head away to look at me. His eyes search mine, and when he finds what he’s obviously looking for, he drops another kiss to my forehead before picking up our clothes and passing me mine.
“You know where the bathroom is if you want to clean up. I’ll just be a second,” he says, before walking away.
As he leaves, I see the tattoo that covers the whole of his back. It’s a fallen angel. The wingspan reaches from one shoulder blade to the other, in greys and black ink. Below is some writing in gothic script, but I’m too far away to be able to read it. It’s beautiful, just like the man it adorns.
Once he disappears into, what I assume is his room, I grab my handbag, which I dropped when I arrived, and hurry to the bathroom. The evidence of what we just did drips down the inside of my thighs, and I’m suddenly aware we didn’t use any protection. Thank the lord I can’t get pregnant.
I slam the door closed, leaning my head on it while I try to make sense of whatever the fuck that was. My phone pings with a message, and I fumble around inside my bag, pulling it out when I finally find it.
Jamie: Hey, girl, I hope you’re okay. Blue told me you’re staying at his, time to get yourself laid. I’m off to work but call if you need anything. Xx
I immediately go to hit call, then stop. What the hell do I even say, ‘Oh, hey, by the way I just let Ryder fuck me against a wall. You know, the guy I’ve only known for a week, but it’s cool, I got laid, right.’ I’m so fucking stupid. I hardly know the guy, and apparently, he’s just doing his job. I guess that entails screwing his clients when he can. Despite feeling like a complete fool, I decide I need to talk to Jamie. I hit call, and she picks up on the second ring.
“Hey, what’s up, you okay?”
“Jamie.” Her name is all I manage before my throat closes up and tears form in my eyes.
“Shit, Cam, what’s the matter,” she rushes out, the panic clear in her voice.
“I’m fine, but I screwed up.” I scoff at the irony of that explanation. “We had sex,” I blurt out.
“Okaaaay, that bad, huh,” she laughs, I shake my head, aware that she can’t actually see me, but my answer is still true. It wasn’t bad at all, and that right there, is the fucking problem. “Cam?” Jamie calls down the phone.
“Sorry. No, it wasn’t bad.”
“So, what’s the problem? Did he hurt you? I’ll fucking gut him if he did!” And I don’t doubt the truth of that threat.
“God, no. Nothing like that.” I pause, unsure of what saying it out loud will mean. “It…It was—argh! It was fucking hot, the best sex I’ve ever had. There I said it. Now what the fuck do I do? I don’t know what to do or say. I’m not the ‘friends with benefits’ type of girl, Jamie, I catch feels too easy, and I can’t—I don’t have room for that right now.”
“Cam, just calm down. I may have only met Blue a few times, but I know guys, and I don’t think you’re just another notch on his bedpost. I’ve seen the way he watches you. Do you like him?” she asks.
I think about that question for second, and whilst I’m not convinced that I’m more than another notch, she’s right, I’ve caught him watching me too, and I do like him. Probably more than I should, and that scares the crap out of me.
I’ve just escaped from a man that spent the last four years abusing me, so how can I fall back into a possible relationship with a man that clearly has demons. I should be running a mile in the other direction, but I find myself wanting to stay, to take a risk. The big question is not whether I like him, or him me, but more about if I’ll survive being broken by another man if I let him in. Will he even want me when he finds out the truth? I don’t know, and I’m unsure whether I can risk it to find out.
“Yeah, but it’s more complicated than that, Jamie. There are things I’ve not told you, not told anyone, and they mean I need to protect myself.”
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br /> “I’m not stupid, Cam. I know they’re things you haven’t told me and that’s fine, but you need to know that I’m always here when you’re ready to talk. On the issue of Blue, I think you should take the time you have with him now to figure out exactly how you feel about him. If you trust him enough to open up to him, share your fears, maybe some secrets. You may not be the type to sleep with someone without feeling or trust but the fact you had sex with Blue tells me you trust him on some level already.” As though she can read my mind she says, “You’re not broken, Cam, you’re here, still standing, still fighting. Don’t let your past stop you from taking a risk.”
I let the tears that her words have brought slip down my face freely. This girl who saved me, took me into her home, looked after me, brought back the girl I used to be and who I would give my life for, has slain me with her words. She’s never asked anything of me in return for all that she’s done, and I can’t thank her enough.
“You’re amazing, and I’m so glad to have you as a friend,” I blub down the phone.
“Ahh, don’t be so soppy, or you’ll have me crying too. Now, I assume you’re hiding out in the bathroom, hmmm?” I can picture her raised brow as she says it. “Get yourself tidied up, get out there and enjoy yourself, girl. No paddling the pink canoe for you this weekend.” She chuckles, then the line goes dead.
I hurriedly splash cold water on my face, hopefully removing any signs of my tears, then after relieving myself, I dress back in my work clothes. As I pull my shirt on, I realise the buttons are missing from around halfway. Fucking perfect. Ryder’s magic fingers must have gotten some undone before ripping my shirt from my body. With no other option, I use the two sides of the shirt, tying a knot that rests at my midriff. Making sure that everything is covered, I leave the bathroom in search of Ryder.
As I near the end of the corridor, the sound of voices reaches me. Ryder’s voice is instantly recognisable, and I’m certain the other voice is Russ. I’m conscious that Blue, has now become Ryder to me, and that is another confusing factor of what happened.