“I don’t mind. Just text me when you’re done and either Deck or me will come take you back home.”
“Thank you.”
Once Ever dropped me off at the library, I went inside to check the help wanted pages from the local paper, along with doing an online search for jobs in the area. Most of them were the typical teenage jobs working fast food. I applied to all the ones I could online. Then I went to a couple that were within walking distance of the library because they required that people apply in person. By the fourth rejection, I was feeling daunted. I wondered what it was about me that had people shuffling me out the door so quickly, but honestly it probably just had to do with my lack of experience at pretty much anything.
Three days in a row I walked around different areas of downtown looking for work. Either they weren’t hiring, had already hired someone, or just plain told me no and then stared at the slight baby bump I had showing that meant I either drank too much beer as a teenager, or I was baking a bun in my oven. I rolled my eyes at the thought. Like pregnant women didn’t need to work more than most people. We had another person built in that was counting on us.
I was nearly ready to give up, admit defeat, and take my mom up on her offer to see me through college before I venture out on my own with the baby, when I saw another help wanted sign in a window. When I glanced up, my eyes brightened and hope filled my chest, even though I knew it was a long shot. It would be the best job in the world for me. I walked inside smiling at the tinkling bell that rained music down on me as I stepped inside. “Hi, we’ll be right with you,” a disembodied voice called out from somewhere around a curtained off area. It didn’t take long until a frazzled woman with medium-length white blond hair backed out of the curtain holding boxes stacked so high I couldn’t get a good look at her face.
“Do you need help with that?” I asked in a hushed tone as not to startle her.
“No, I got it. Just,” she huffed as she stumbled a bit, knocking the middle box into the counter. “Give me…” she tried again as the top one almost teetered off, but not quite. “A sec,” she finished as she managed to lift her burden just enough to be able to set the bottom box down on top of the counter. She patted the leaning tower of boxes gently and then walked out from behind them. Her grin fell almost immediately as she took in the sight of me standing there.
“Anna?”
“Hi, Gretchen, how are you?”
“I’m okay,” she started to say before her eyes drooped down to my mid-section and I watched as they sort of bugged out, and her dimpled chin began to wobble momentarily before she got herself, and her reaction, under control. “Is that what I think it is?” She asked, pointing at my belly. I nodded slowly, not knowing how she was going to take my pregnancy news. “Oh boy, I think we have a lot to discuss then,” she offered with a sweet smile before directing me over to a slouchy microfiber couch toward the opposite end of the lobby area.
“We do, because I thought you still worked at Permanent Marks with Ever,” I stated as we moved to go take a seat. She immediately sat beside me and pulled one of my hands into hers, and then gave up her original intent with the simple gesture and pulled me into a tight hug instead.
“I do. This is my sister’s studio. She had so much work on her books that she had to finally give in and rent studio space, plus ask for help,” she indicated the help wanted sign in the window that had drawn me in.
“That’s why I’m here, actually.”
“I don’t understand. Maybe you should back up and tell me how that happened,” she said, indicating my belly. “Then you can tell me why your family is making you get a job while you are in this condition.”
“It’s a long story,” I explained.
“I’m all ears. We aren’t open until next week.” She got up and quickly jogged over to the door and locked it before coming to sit with me once more. “Sorry, that should have been locked to begin with. I’m glad it wasn’t in this case though.”
“Me too,” I agreed. Then I launched into the story of how I met Joker, what I did to screw things up, and how I was heartbroken about having done so when I finally realized I was pregnant. Then I surprised myself by telling her everything else. Absolutely everything from my horror show of wedding to the night after, and my first day in Joker’s house. The subsequent days we’d spent barely talking to one another got lumped in there too, along with the fact that I knew he had to work, but that I didn’t know if that was what he was actually doing with all of his time when he was away or if he was out seeing other women.
Gretchen looked steaming mad by the time I was done. “If Toby were here, he would have kicked that man’s ass and strung him up by his balls until he saw the error of his ways. What the hell was your dad thinking? What are Ever and Deck thinking to keep letting you stick it out there?” She stood and started pacing. “Maybe you should take Ever up on staying with her for a while.” She turned and glanced back at me. “I’d tell you to come stay with me, but I took over the apartment above Permanent Marks after Ever left, so I don’t have much room.”
“It’s okay, Gretch.”
“No, it’s not. You should be overjoyed right now with the blessing you’re carrying, not worried about how you’re going to be able to save money for when the baby gets here.” Her eyes filled with wetness that I could tell she was trying hard not to let fall. Then she sat beside me again. “Have you felt the baby move yet?”
I shook my head no. “The doctor says it should be soon though. I might be able to see the sex at my next appointment, but I don’t think I want to know. I kind of want that to be a surprise, you know?”
Gretchen gave me a sad smile. “I do know. I felt the same way.”
“I’m…” I started to apologize, but she stopped me with the shake of her head and her fingers moving to rest gently on my lips.
“It’s okay. I’ve been in therapy, honey. I’m strong enough to talk about it now, I promise. It still hurts, every day. Between Toby and the baby, I lost a lot that day. It’s going to hurt for a good long while, but I know how to deal with that now. I’m just sorry I wasn’t able to be there for you after. Toby’s probably upset with me that I wasn’t,” she suggested.
“You know that’s not true.”
“Still, maybe if I’d been there with you, this wouldn’t be happening to you.”
I shrugged my shoulders. “I don’t want to wish this away,” I told her while patting my belly.
“No, you don’t. And I hope you don’t mind me being around more. I promise, I’ll be the best surrogate auntie you and your baby could ask for. I know you have Ever, but I’d like to think we would have been sisters if…” I reached over and hugged her. I had been the only person in the family who knew about Gretchen and Toby being together. I’d seen them out at the movies one day and had been immediately sworn to secrecy about their relationship. Gretchen had been worried that Ever would hate her if she started dating Toby and the two of them wanted to give it a go to see if it would lead anywhere before telling everyone. I understood and promised to keep quiet, but I also got to hang out with the two of them periodically. I would never trade those memories, because it was during that time that I had finally grown closer to my big brother in a way I had always been envious of him having with Ever.
“You are a sister of my heart, Gretchen. No matter what.” That did it, and the dam broke. Her tears fell, and began to soak through my shirt as we held onto one another and cried over my brother, her baby, and all that she’d lost, as well as the fact that I still counted her as family. “Hasn’t Ever told you the same?”
“I’ll be honest, I don’t talk to her that much anymore. At first, I felt like I was betraying her when I started dating your brother. Then after everything, I couldn’t look at her without breaking down. She started giving me space after about the fourth time, and told me when I was ready she would be there.”
“You haven’t been ready?”
“No, I have been for a while now, it’s
just that now I feel like a bit of brat for behaving the way I did towards her.”
“She understands. I promise you, if anyone understands needing to get over hurts in your own way, and your own time, it’s my sister.” I was still sort of floored that I was sitting here speaking to Gretchen, the girl who my brother had been expecting a child with when he was killed and she ended up losing the baby. They had been heading home to tell our parents and my sister about everything during a family dinner that evening. Gretchen and Toby’s romance had not been a secret from me though, and while me knowing about them added depth to my relationship with Toby, it also fostered a surrogate big sister in Gretchen for me. Ever had still been going through some things with our father and the club, and she didn’t want to taint their opinion of me by being around me too often.
“What’s going on?” Another female called out, though she was close enough that it startled me out of Gretchen’s arms. I wasn’t sure how I had missed someone walking up to us.
“Sweet baby Jesus, Beth, can you stop that ninja thing you do? You nearly scared Anna’s baby right out of her,” Gretchen chastised.
“Anna?” Her sister questioned. “Anna as in…”
I watched as Gretchen rolled her eyes at her sister. “Yes, Toby’s little sister.”
The woman, who didn’t look much like Gretchen at all, tossed a hand up on her hip and glanced between the two of us then. “I thought she was a really little sister, as in under age to be carrying a baby?”
“Maybe I should just go,” I said while standing to do just that. Even while standing, Beth’s height was quiet intimidating. She had to be just shy of six feet tall, and while lacking the curves her pixie of a sister had, she was still built like an athlete.
“Oh, no you don’t. Beth, you behave!” Gretchen chastised before she turned to speak to me again. “Please, don’t go. Beth was just caught off guard with you being here, because up until this morning, I had just been saying I still wasn’t ready to see you guys.” I felt guilty at my sudden appearance in her life again knowing that she felt that way. I was about to apologize, but something in Gretchen’s face stopped me. “I’m glad you came by because it proved how silly I have been. I missed you so much, and now seeing you here and talking to you, I think it would have helped me heal a bit more if I had just gotten myself together and come to see you.”
“I’m sorry for snapping, and seeming judgmental for a minute there,” Beth apologized to me, drawing my attention away from her sister. “I can see Gretchen means what she’s saying. I thought maybe you were forcing yourself on her, and I wasn’t ready for her to spiral back down into the dark place we just managed to get her to crawl out of.” She stepped forward and held her hand out to me. “I’m Elizabeth, Gretchen’s sister, but you can call me Beth.”
I took her hand and shook it. “Anna, and don’t worry, I think it’s completely understandable to want to protect your sister,” I informed her. “Honestly,” I pointed to the window for the second time that day. “I didn’t even know who owned this place. I just saw the sign, and figured I’d come check on the job. It’s not like I haven’t had enough rejections in the past four days of job hunting.” I shrugged my shoulders up and down before smiling at her. “I thought, what could another one hurt before I headed home?”
“Oh, you poor thing. What kind of jobs have you been trying for?” I told both her and Gretchen where I had applied and then pointed to my little baby bump. “Most of the rejections I received were while someone was staring at my little problem here.” I realized how that might sound, and corrected myself quickly. “Not that the baby is a problem for me, but prospective employers seem to think it is.”
“Have you ever had a job before?”
“No, but I learn fast, I’m friendly, and I’m super organized. I was also on the yearbook staff at school for two years.”
“You’re hired.”
“I understand,” I returned by rote. Then watched the puzzled faces looking back at me before Beth’s actual words sunk in. “Wait, I’m hired? For real? Oh my God! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” Before she knew what was happening, I was basically tackle-hugging Beth. She just giggled along with her sister. “You look nothing like Gretchen by the way,” I said as I had to crane my head way back to look up at her from that close.
Beth laughed again. “We have different fathers. Mine was a giant and hers was a dwarf,” she teased. Gretchen was laughing along with her and it took her a minute to catch her breath.
“She always tells people that, but my dad is much larger than hers. If you looked up Viking on the internet, he would be the poster child. He was white-blonde hair, ice blue eyes, and stands at nearly six feet, five inches. She rolled her eyes. He’s huge. I think if he hadn’t required her to get a paternity test he never would have believed I was his spawn.”
“That’s crazy. I guess you take after your mom then?”
“Not really. She’s not exactly short for a woman,” Gretchen admitted.
“We just call her runt,” Beth teased. “She takes after our grandma, who was a tiny thing until the day she died. The good part about that for Gretch is that she will probably never have to diet like the rest of the world.”
“You don’t look like you need to diet either,” I suggested.
“Flattery will get you everywhere in this job. Can you start today?”
“Sure. My sister has appointments today until six, so I have until then.”
“Is your car broken down?” Gretchen asked.
“I sold it to help with the baby expenses.” I noticed the worried look on Beth’s face. “Don’t worry. My husband said I can use his truck if I need to.”
“Husband?” Beth hissed out. “You’re still a child. That sounds so wrong.”
“It’s in title only for insurance and so the baby will get his name, I guess.” I honestly didn’t know why he agreed to this anymore. Ever explained that our father could have kept me on his insurance. I was pretty sure you didn’t need to be married to give a child their father’s last name. Then again, I’d been wrong about a lot lately. Who knew?
“Where should we start?” I finally asked, breaking the silent staring thing the sisters had going on.
“Right,” Beth puffed out before taking off toward the back. “Follow me. We’ll get the paperwork out of the way first. Then we’ll discuss pay, hours, and I’ll show you how to run the appointment software. Tomorrow we can go over how to locate client files so you can show them their proofs while I’m working behind the camera.” She grinned back at me then. “Just be glad we’re living in the digital age. Back when my dad did this type of work, a pregnant woman would not have been welcome due to the chemicals used in the dark room. Since I don’t use a darkroom – at least not here at the studio – you’ll be fine. There’s no heavy lifting on your part, and nothing strenuous to worry about. You should be able to work here through your whole pregnancy until you’re no longer comfortable. When you need to take maternity leave, I’ll just get a temp in here to fill in until you can come back. If you decide not to come back, all I ask is that you give me plenty of notice.”
“That won’t be a problem. I’ll need a job after the baby is born too. Besides, I think I’ll love working here. I have a really good feeling about this.”
“So do I,” Beth agreed before turning and moving toward the back again. I quickly followed behind her, eager to both learn something new and feel like I belonged somewhere again.
Chapter 9
The knock on my door pulled me out of the thoughts that had been running rampant in my head. I came home from work during lunch again to find Anna gone. It had been a month since we were married and we barely saw each other. Granted, most of that was my fault since I was working doubles in order to bring in as much cash as I could between now and when the baby would be born. The problem was, when Deck asked me how Anna was doing a week ago, I couldn’t give him an honest answer. It had been three days since I’d seen her. When she
was home, she locked the bedroom door so I couldn’t get in there with her. I had moved some of my clothes into a suitcase in the living room as a result, because she would often be asleep when I needed to get to my closet. There was no way I’d ever be able to repair the damage I’d done to us, or even hope to slap a bandage on it, if we never crossed paths.
When I opened the door, it was to find an excited Ever standing there bouncing on the balls of her feet. “Well?” She asked.
“Well, what?” I returned.
Her smile slipped into a scowl almost seamlessly. “Well, are you going to let me in?” I stepped out of the way so that she could come inside. I didn’t miss the way her face wrinkled when she noticed my blankets were still on the couch and I had a suitcase in the middle of the floor. “It’s been a month.” The words came out so quietly, I had no doubt she hadn’t meant to voice them out loud. She turned back to me with a questioning gaze, but I didn’t possess the answers she was searching for so I simply shrugged it off and moved toward the kitchen. My stomach growled even though I didn’t have an appetite. It was a reminder that I needed to eat though, even when I didn’t feel up to it. I’d lost a few pounds in the past month, and I wasn’t happy with the results. Normally, I would have hit the gym to bulk back up, but I’d need to add food to my diet before burning extra calories I didn’t have to lose first.
“Where is Anna?” Ever finally asked as she glanced around the space, taking everything in.
“Your guess is as good as mine. I’ve been coming home at lunch time every day this week trying to catch her, but she’s never here.”
“What do you mean she’s never here? And what do you mean by trying to catch her?”
“I haven’t actually laid eyes on your sister in about six days, and before that, it was only because she happened to come out of the bedroom before I left for work since I was running late that day.”
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