Ace sensed my hesitation. “You want me to tell them to leave?”
Yes!
God, how I wanted to take the coward’s way out, but I knew I couldn’t do that. Delaney deserved better, and if I’m being completely honest, so did Roselyn and Emerson. They were willing to accept me and give me a fair chance regardless of my past with the men they loved, and I had to treat that for the treasured gift it was. Plus, after all the years that have passed since I’d been with Liam and Ramsey, neither boy had ever treated me disrespectfully or like trash. I think that deserved some credit too.
“No,” I mumbled, my throat dry. “Let me…let me shower really quick and I’ll be right down.”
Ace nodded before leaning in to place a kiss on my forehead. “Okay, Kit,” he muttered against my head. “I’ll let them know.”
Then he leaned down to give me a good morning kiss, but I stopped him. “Morning breath,” I mumbled. He threw his head back and laughed. “Jerk.”
Ace looked back down at me and smiled. “Baby, after the things you let me do to you last night, do you really think morning breath is a deal breaker?”
“It is for me?” I retorted like a brat.
He granted me some mercy and just said, “We’ll talk about this later.”
“Yeah,” I snip as I threw the covers off and headed towards the bathroom, “after I brush my teeth.”
After a quick shower, I got dressed, and braced myself to face the people downstairs.
I knew they weren’t here to judge me. I knew they weren’t here to be cruel or intrude on my secrets, but that knowledge did very little to ease my anxiety.
No matter what anyone says, we all had secrets. They might be emotional secrets, mental secrets, or, flat out, a secret other life, but we all had them. They’re usually the ugliest parts of ourselves, because the last thing anyone wants, is for everyone to see just how dark their heart is; or how shameful. A suburban housewife might fantasize about getting dick from both ends, but she’d never confess that to her adoring husband because then he’d see her in a different light. So, even though it’s a small secret that’s not hurting anyone, it’s still a secret. It’s still a secret part of her that she’s unwilling to share.
We lie all the time. Small lies, big lies, it didn’t matter. We lie to ourselves and others because we were forged from sin. We keep secrets because we’re human and we’re imperfect.
Hell, sometimes we protected the lie so fiercely, we could almost convince ourselves that the secret doesn’t even exist. An upstanding member of the public community can actually convince himself that it’s okay to screw underage girls because it’s not ‘real’ if no one knows about.
Secrets are at their most powerful when they come to light.
People think secrets are at their most powerful as long as they remain secrets, but that’s not true. Sure, you can blackmail someone by promising to keep their depraved secret a secret in exchange for something, but that’s because the person with the secret knows, deep down, that if their secret was to come out, it would shift their world and the world of others around them.
And that’s when the power of that secret can be seen by everyone.
I headed down the staircase and I couldn’t lie. My heart was beating a mile a minute and my palms were beginning to sweat. I knew I was going to have Delaney at my side, along with Ace, but I didn’t know the others well enough for them to know something that only Delaney should know. In all actuality, had Ace not overheard the argument with Elise, I’m not sure when I would have been ready to tell him the truth; if ever. And even knowing that Delaney had deserved to know, after standing by me all these years, I’m not sure when I would have ever gotten around to telling her.
And now everyone knew.
Well, maybe not everyone, but enough people to know that I couldn’t hide from it anymore. And then there was still the fact that, just because Elise took off, that didn’t mean she was out of my life. This was still her house. And what about Greg? Did he know? Would he insist on making Ace stay away from me now? Would he continue to date Elise? Would she convince him it was a lie, or that I asked for it?
I cleared the stairs and headed for the main room. When I walked in, I saw the faces of everyone who witnessed my little meltdown last night. Delaney, Deke, Roselyn, Liam, Emerson and Ramsey were standing and sitting throughout the room. Ace was standing, leaning up against the fireplace mantle. He was the first person to notice me.
He walked over to me as I entered the room, and he didn’t put his arm around me or anything affectionate like that. He let me pass him and followed behind me, just standing guard at my back, and that mattered more than he could possibly understand. Ace was letting me face my demons while having my back.
I had meant what I said last night. I didn’t care how…depraved he treated me in the bedroom as long as he didn’t treat me like a victim. I would be whatever kind of whore he needed as long as he respected me and my choices outside the bedroom.
I didn’t want to be a broken victim.
I wanted to be strong survivor.
Delaney jumped up from the couch and rushed over to me. She wrapped her arms around me and my heart broke.
This is why I hadn’t told her. I didn’t want her to pity me. I didn’t want her to treat me like I was wounded even though I was. I hadn’t wanted her to see me as weak.
She pulled back, and I was surprised when I didn’t see any tears. Instead, she narrowed her eyes at me and said, “You’re an asshole, Ava.”
I let out a laugh. “Wh… what?”
Delaney turned from me like I offended her somehow, and once she was standing in the middle of the room, she turned to face me again, and said, “This entire time we could have been plotting that sonofabitch’s demise, but noooooooooooo. Now the guys get to have all the fun,” she pouted.
I couldn’t help it.
I laughed at Delany’s homicidal tendencies and I knew everything was going to be okay.
Chapter 22
Ace~
The girls were in the living room while Ramsey, Deke, Liam, and I were in the kitchen making breakfast for them.
I had gotten up early this morning, despite not sleeping worth a damn, and had swum some laps, trying to clear my head. I had fucked Ava all night and well into the morning, and when she fell out from exhaustion, I knew we were going to have to have a serious talk about our future. I figured she was bound for college somewhere, but I had no idea where. I had registered for Stanford, but I hadn’t given college much thought while my trial was going on. College had seemed irrelevant at the time when I was fighting for my life’s freedom.
But now that I had Ava to consider, I’m not sure what I-we were going to do. We were spoiled children with more than enough money at our disposal, but that’s now how I wanted to live my life as a grownup. I wanted to build something. I wanted to be a part of something.
I glanced around the kitchen and we looked utterly ridiculous with Liam in an apron mixing pancake batter, Deke setting out the plates and cutlery, while Ramsey and I were working on the eggs, bacon, and tater tots. Luckily, the kitchen was huge with stainless steel state-of-the-art appliances because none of us guys could be classified as petite.
“This is…uh, not something you see every day,” I muttered.
Liam snorted. “If the masses could see us now, they’d have a field day,” he grumbled.
“It’s like we’re in denial over how pussy-whipped we are,” Deke grumbled from the kitchen table.
Ramsey deep voice rumbled throughout the kitchen. “I’m not in denial, in the least,” he announced. “Emerson has me by the balls and all I can do is pray every day that she doesn’t crush them in a fit of rage.”
“Or because she’s on her period,” Liam added. “Roselyn is vicious when she’s suffering through that shit.”
Deke huffed. “What woman isn’t?”
“Now that we’re engaged, I’m hoping my title of fiancé will make a dent,” Liam
muttered hopefully.
Ramsey laughed. “Yeah, because my title of husband works so well.”
I glanced over at Ramsey. “So…married, huh?”
“For the rest of my fucking life,” he confirmed, confident and with enough conviction that I knew Emerson was beyond something special to this guy.
“Don’t sound so surprised, dude,” Liam chimed in. “Before the girls head off to college, Roselyn will be my wife. There’s no fucking way I’m letting her leave for school without my last name.”
I looked over at Deke. He cocked his head at me and arched a brow. “I’m proposing to Delaney later today,” he stated, matter of fact. “We’ll be married before she goes off to school, as well.”
“And where are you guys going to school?”
Ramsey chuckled. “We’re not,” he announced. “It was high-time to tell our fathers to go get fucked. We’re going to move forward with our own financial firm.”
Something told me if anyone could become successful without college and sheer will, it was this trio. They weren’t like other 18-year-olds I’ve ever met.
Deke continued to face me when he said, “That’s one of the reasons we’re here. We already know Ava is registered at Georgetown, but we can get her into Blaineview as a late registration if she would rather go to school with the girls.”
“We’re also here to let her know that we’re all just a phone call away if she needs anything,” Liam added.
Ramsey turned towards me. “We’re also here to let her know that I found Peter and he will be dealt with. She can…rest a little easier whether revenge is on her menu or not.”
I looked around at these three guys I didn’t know and wondered who in the fuck were they? This was some Mafia-style shit. “Is that all?” I wasn’t sure how I felt about other guys coming to Ava’s rescue, but I couldn’t deny her their friendship. Ava needed people in her corner. She’d been alone too long.
Liam crossed his arms over his aproned chest and said, “No. We’re also here to talk to you.”
I shook my head and smirked. “Save your threats, guys. Nothing you say or do will make me walk away from Ava. And as long as I can draw a breath, I will make sure no one ever hurts her again; including me.”
“What’s not what we want to talk to you about?” Liam corrected.
“Then what the fuck is this?” I wasn’t angry, but I didn’t like games.
Ramsey spoke this time. “We’re here to answer any questions you might have about Ava.”
What?
What could they possil-oohhhh.
I straightened to my full height. I wasn’t necessarily feeling defensive, but no guy wanted to discuss their girl with other guys who she’s slept with.
“We’re going to be honest,” Liam cut in. “Before Deke started dating Delaney, Ava was a nonfactor. She was just a girl we went to school with. But once Deke and Delaney got together, she became more. She’s Delaney’s best friend and that makes her important to us. We know she doesn’t feel like part of the group, but she is, whether she realizes it or not.”
“This is about her past with…one, a couple, or all of you, isn’t it?”
“Ask us anything,” Ramsey replied. “We won’t lie to you.”
I shook my head. If I had questions, the answer should come from Ava, not these guys. Besides, I couldn’t tell her I didn’t care about her past and then go digging in it. I assumed she slept with Ramsey because that’s what Emerson had implied at Delaney’s last night, but I didn’t know about the other two.
I asked what I thought was fair. “Who?”
“Me,” Ramsey confirmed.
“Me,” Liam added.
I glanced at Deke, but he just shook his head. I guess in hindsight that was probably a good thing since Delaney was Ava’s best friend.
I looked back between Liam and Ramsey. “How long ago?”
“Seventh grade,” Ramsey admitted.
“Summer before eighth grade,” Liam replied.
That was over five years ago. Five years ago, when I told her just yesterday that I didn’t care who she slept with last week.
“If you’re going to be with Ava, we need to know if this is going to be an issue,” Ramsey warned.
In my head I knew it should be an issue. These two guys slept with the girl I want to spend the rest of my life with. It should be a problem to hang out with them. It should feel uncomfortable. But then I thought about how Roselyn and Emerson seemed to have no issues with Ava being around Ramsey and Liam. They were so over it, they defended Ava. Emerson even went so far as to send Ramsey to avenge her.
I felt like I was missing something, but one thing was clear; there was no way I’d ever make Ava feel ashamed of her past. And if I had to work through my feelings, and be friends with these guys to bring Ava a sense of peace, then that’s what I’d do.
Besides, as awkward as this was, I didn’t feel jealous that they’ve been with Ava. They hadn’t been boyfriends or long, lost loves. They were a part of her coping mechanisms when she had none.
“It’s not a problem for me,” I told them honestly. “As far as I’m concerned, Ava’s life didn’t start until last night when she faced her demons and set herself free.”
Liam gave me a tight nod, while Ramsey reached out and clapped me on my shoulder. Deke let out a deep breath as he said, “Good, because I’m about to propose to Delaney after breakfast, and I didn’t want shit popping off because you’re a fuck.”
I laughed. “Hey, I don’t know you guys either,” I pointed out. “You guys could be huge assholes.”
“Oh, you’re not wrong there,” Liam laughed.
“Come on,” Deke sighed. “Let’s feed these girls so I can force Delaney to marry me.”
Everyone chuckled good-naturedly, but as soon as we all went back to our assigned breakfast duties, Ramsey said loud enough for only me to hear, “There’s one little part we left out, Ace.”
I didn’t bother looking at him as I deep fried the tater tots. “Oh, yeah? What’s that?”
“Those four girls in there matter more than anything we’ll ever accomplish in all our lives, Ace. Emerson, Roselyn, and Delaney have to mean as much to you as Ava does to us,” he insisted, and his voice left no room for argument.
It was a no brainer. “Understood,” I replied.
He turned away from the sizzling bacon and faced me head-on. “Good,” he said, looking me right in the eye. “Because, while I would kill for any of those girls, Liam, Deke, and now, you, I wouldn’t hesitate to kill any of you if any of you ever hurt Emerson.”
I didn’t like being threatened, but somehow this didn’t feel like a threat. It felt like a matter-of-fact statement made by a guy who wasn’t confused about his purpose in life.
And I knew just how he felt.
Chapter 23
Ava~
Breakfast had been…a bit unreal.
If someone told me a month ago that Ramsey Reed, Deke Marlow, Liam McCellan, and my boyfriend would be in my kitchen cooking breakfast for us girls, I would have bet them a million dollars that they were crazy.
And if that same person had told me a month ago that they’d be making breakfast while I hung out with Emerson Andrews, Roselyn Bell, and Delaney Martin in my living room, I would have conceded to hanging out with Delaney, but I would have still upped the bet to five million.
And if that same crazy-as-fuck person would have told me that Emerson Andrews would be Emerson Reed, while Roselyn Bell wore Liam McCellan’s ring, I would have made the bet for ten million.
Good thing no one had said those words to me initiating a bet I would have lost.
Now we were all back in the living room, and I knew they were waiting for me to elaborate on last night’s meltdown.
Buying myself some time, I looked at Roselyn, and nodded towards her hand. “When’s the wedding?”
Roselyn’s smile was blinding. “Not sure, but before we head off to Blaineview,” she answered.
I
tried not to let the pang in my chest affect my smile, but it was hard. I was going to miss Delaney, so much. “Not much time to plan a wedding,” I joked.
Liam snorted. “We’re following tradition,” he replied.
I looked over at him. “Tradition?”
He smiled and his charm really was something else. “Yeah, the one Ramsey and Emerson started.”
Roselyn laughed. “Courthouse, here we come.”
Everyone laughed, and it felt…light and easy.
It felt real.
“Speaking of getting married at the courthouse,” Deke muttered, and the entire room froze.
We were all in the living room with Ramsey and Emerson on one side of the couch and Deke and Delaney on the other side. Roselyn was curled up in Liam’s lap in one of the armchairs, and I noticed how often they sat like that together. They were by far the most affectionate of the group. Where Deke monitored Delaney like a sentinel, he didn’t hover as badly as Liam did with Roselyn. Ramsey and Emerson weren’t so much affectionate as they were connected to one another. Ramsey never left Emerson’s side if he could help it. I was curled up on the opposite armchair closest to Delaney and Deke while Ace was sitting on the coffee table in the middle of the room.
My heart started pounding, and I faced my best friend as her eyes rounded to the size of dinner plates. “Deke…” Delaney muttered.
Delaney hasn’t ever been overly romantic, but I’m pretty sure she never envisioned her marriage proposal to go the way it did. However, it…fit. It fit with the kind of guy Deke was and the kind of relationship he had with Delaney.
“There’s no fucking way you’re going to Blaineview without being married to me, Lamb,” Deke stated as he pulled out a ring from his pocket and slid it on her hand.
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