Lust

by L-J Baker

  "I'm glad you're alive," Luc said as Gabe released him and took the seat next to him.

  "As am I. I never thought Michael would do what he did. I suspected that he would try to kill you, and Az's death doesn't surprise me, but killing me wasn't anything I ever thought he would do. He's much further gone than I imagined."

  "Please don't talk about him." Luc tensed again at the mention of Az.

  "Michael?"

  "No."

  Gabe looked confused for a moment, then realization hit and he nodded. "I'm sorry. Have you seen Michael?"

  "Of course not."

  "I just thought that since you have him in the box, you might have gone to talk to him, to show him you were alive, at least."

  "You mean to gloat? I'm not like that, despite the rumors that go around about me. I can't see him yet, but he's aware I've been returned to the living. One day I'm sure, but not yet."

  Again, Gabe nodded. Luc didn't need to explain why it was too hard for him to face Michael. Gabe already understood. If it were him, he probably would have went. Gabe liked to have the answers to all questions. He couldn't stand to have any ambiguity, but Luc was different.

  He'd always been different.

  "Maybe one day you can let me see him?" Gabe turned to look at Luc, but Luc kept his eyes straight ahead.

  "Maybe."

  "Are you the same?"

  This time, Luc did turn to face Gabe, with a glare. "How could I be the same?"

  "No, I mean as an angel. I'm not, my powers, I mean. Father says that with time, things may improve, but they also might not. Bringing me back was harder than he thought and he couldn't get everything back."

  Luc hadn't much thought about it, but in the weeks since that night he woke up, no longer dead, he'd had a number of occasions to use his powers. Everything seemed to be working the same.

  "I haven't noticed a difference."

  "Oh." Gabe turned back and looked straight ahead. "I'm glad he chose you first, just so you know."

  "I'm not."

  Luc's words floated between them and left nothing between them but silence. Gabe sat there a few minutes longer, then got up, hugged Luc once again, and walked out. It would probably be a long time before they saw each other again. Luc had no need for Gabe now that everything was done and Gabe had no connection to Luc other than tragedy. He would come around when he hoped to see Michael. Luc already knew that would be the case.

  "That's gotta hurt." Harley filled Luc's glass and he drank it down in one go.

  "I'm glad he's alive."

  "But you'd rather it was Az."

  "Of course I would, but it's not. Dad wasted all his juice on me. He couldn't even bring Gabe back all the way and he won't even try for Az. Az was never that important to him, to any of them."

  "He was to you."

  Luc shook his head at her. "Don't you do that. I'm not going there, Harley."

  "Deal with your grief, Lucifer. You can't just stuff it down and think it's going to go away."

  "I can and I will." Luc got up from the barstool. "We aren't talking about this again."

  Luc couldn't do anything but push his feelings down. Dealing with them, with the fact that Az was gone for good, would break him. He'd lost so much already. It was all he had in him just to deal with the fact that Anna left. Which was another thing he couldn't think about anymore. If he did, he might have to acknowledge that he cared about her, probably a bit more than any of the other girls. Or maybe quite a bit more.

  But she was gone.

  And so was Az.

  13

  "Harley, it's been weeks, and my dick is done dressing in black. Pick a girl already."

  Luc paced the apartment itching to see the next pick in the mirror. This would be the first time they would pick one without Az and he was pretty sure that was the thing holding Harley up. He understood though. It pained him to go on with the game, without his brother there, cheering him on.

  "Soon. Before we do that, you have some things you need to address."

  "Such as?"

  "That cop keeps coming by."

  "Sarah Ward?"

  "Yes. She just hangs around, looking for him, like some sad puppy who's owners moved away and left her behind. Someone should say something to her."

  "I talked to her a few weeks ago. I told her he took off, like he wanted me to, but she didn't want to believe it. What do you expect me to do about it?"

  "I don't know. Take her memories away? Tell her to get lost? Anything that gets her out of our club so I don't have to keep looking at her. It makes me feel things and you know how I feel about that." Harley balled her fists into tight clumps.

  "Our club, huh?"

  "Is that seriously the thing you picked out of all that to focus on?"

  "Oh Harley," Luc walked over to her and pulled her into a hug. She struggled against him, even punching him in the gut twice, hard, then settled in, resting her head on his chest. "It's okay to feel things."

  "I don't wanna," she said with her face muffled in his shirt. She kicked him in the shin and he let her go.

  "You also need to deal with Cupid. Oz came by today and he's sick of that asshole in his space. He wants you to make up your mind and decide what you want to happen to him."

  Luc hadn't thought about Cupid since everything happened. To be honest, he hadn't wanted to. Luc was angry with the little shit for his part in what happened. The worst of it couldn't be pinned on him, but he still made the decision to be on Michael's side. He could say he had no choice all he wants, but if he'd come to Luc with the truth right away, and told him he needed help, Luc would have given it to him.

  But he hadn't.

  Part of Luc wanted to leave him with the mages forever, let them keep him locked up, hell they could toss him in a pit for all Luc cared, but that wasn't fair to them. They'd helped when Luc needed it, and probably saved some lives in the process. He also had to see Oz about his sister. In payment for his help, Luc promised to turn Oz's sister into a demon, and spring her from Hell. He wasn't looking forward to it, but he always kept his word.

  "I vote that we lock him up in Hell, maybe give him a cage right next to Michael. Wouldn't it be funny to see those two stuck together as roommates for the rest of eternity?" Harley walked over to the mirror, waved her hand in front of it, and Cupid appeared in the fog. "He's trying to pretend it's all good, but I've seen him when he thinks no one is looking. He's scared shitless."

  Luc waved his hand and the mirror returned to normal.

  "Leave him alone."

  "You're joking, right?"

  "I'm not. Cupid is a piece of shit, but this isn't his fault."

  "You're gonna let him go, aren't you?" Harley took a step back and narrowed her eyes.

  "I haven't decided what to do with him."

  "Maybe you think you haven't, but I can see it in your eyes. You feel bad for the little turd."

  "Hasn't there been enough suffering? Luc walked over to the bar and poured his favorite bourbon. Everything was restocked, extra stocked, and back to how it should be. Not how it was, because Luc couldn't bring himself to make everything seem like nothing ever happened, but things were cleaned up and set.

  "No. Az is dead."

  "I'm aware." Luc cringed. "That's not something I need reminding of."

  "Cupid was part of that. He should have to pay for it."

  "Michael would have done what he did regardless of whether or not Cupid played a part. Was he wrong? Of course, but what can you really expect from that weasel?"

  "I don't care." Harley stomped her foot like an angry toddler. "I want him to suffer for making the decisions he made. Why don't you?"

  "I guess because I'm tired."

  "Take a damn nap and leave Cupid locked up."

  "I don't need a nap. I'm tired of the fighting, of the anger, and definitely of the bad feelings among family."

  "Cupid isn't your family. Az was." Harley stressed his brother's name and Luc swallowed hard.

&
nbsp; "Az was, you're right, but Cupid is too. And so is Michael. It doesn't matter how awful they've been, or how much I don't want it to be true. It still is."

  Harley sighed. "I liked it better when you were a dick who had orgies every night."

  "Sometimes twice a night."

  "Those were the days." Harley gulped down her drink and headed for the door. "Take care of your shit so I don't have to hear about it. And if you let that asswipe go free, don't tell me about it."

  Luc watched her shut the door behind her and slumped into his new chair. No matter what he did, it wouldn't bring Az back. He just had to deal with it now. And he had to deal with Sarah Ward, and Cupid, and Oz.

  It was time.

  The same chatter struck Luc when he walked into the warehouse that the mages set up shop in, but no one stopped him this time. He walked right through and back to the cages. He could feel the mages there, but for some reason, no one was making themselves known.

  "Lucifer, good to see you. How have you been? No one around here tells me anything." Cupid walked over to the bars of his cage and leaned his shoulder against them. "I was starting to think you forgot about me."

  "Who could forget you, cousin?" Luc pulled over the rusty chair from the corner and sat down to face Cupid. He stared at him with a blank expression, and Cupid swallowed hard, shifting from one foot to the other.

  "Did something happen? Did you have trouble retrieving Melanie?"

  "Melanie? No. She practically begged Uriel to take her out of that psycho's place. That poor girl is back home where she belongs."

  "Home? You just let her go? I don't understand." Cupid grabbed the bars with both hands and his eyes widened.

  "I had her stashed in Hell for a bit, but we don't need her anymore, so her memories have been wiped, and she was sent home. Isn't that what you wanted to see happen?"

  "I… well, yes. I don't like people fooling around with love. No one should be forced into it. It's unnatural."

  "Some would say that angels are unnatural."

  "I suppose some would, but we were here first, so they'd be wrong."

  "Would they though?"

  Cupid stood up straight and backed away from the cage a few feet. "What's going on?"

  "Everything is over, Q. I'm actually shocked that the mages didn't tell you."

  "Over? Then we won?"

  "We? Who's we, because I'm never really sure which side you're on." Luc tilted his head and put one finger up to his chin.

  "The side of all that's right."

  "So, your own side, then? I mean, let's be honest, Q, the only thing you've ever cared about are your own needs, right?" Luc stood and walked over to the cage and Cupid backed up a few more steps. "Are you afraid of me, Q?"

  "Shouldn't I be?"

  "Why?"

  "You're the reason I'm locked up."

  "Me?" Luc threw his head back and laughed. "Oh man, you're funny tonight. I wish Harley could see this. No wait, if Harley was here, she'd probably rip your head off. As in literally."

  "Why isn't she here then? Is she all right?"

  "Like you care."

  "Lucifer," Cupid steeled himself, then walked right up to the bars. "Is she okay?"

  "She's fine. I'm sure you're happy to hear that."

  "I know you won't believe this, but I'm glad she's all right."

  "Are you?

  "Yes."

  "Az is dead." Luc's voice had no emotion. He had to keep it that way. If he let even a second of feeling in, he would lose it.

  Cupid went pale.

  "Michael attacked, just like we expected, right after we took his little slave. Oh and you were right, she wasn't really in love with him."

  "But you killed him?"

  "He's my brother, Q. Why would I kill him? Michael is the psychopath, not me. I locked him in the Hell Box. Only not until after he killed Az and Gabe… oh and me, but dear old dad brought me back."

  Cupid dropped himself into a chair. "Gabe is dead?"

  "Well, he was." Luc said, tensing his shoulders. "But Dad was able to bring him back, too. Not Az though. He's gone for good. Harley thinks you should pay for your part in it, but I told her you were family, so we shouldn't just end you."

  "Thanks for that." Cupid swallowed hard, making an audible sound. "He killed you?"

  "He did. He jammed the forever blade right through my heart just before he was sucked into the box. I don't remember it all that well, but Uriel was there thankfully, or things would have turned out much different."

  "But how—"

  "How am I sitting here with you right now?"

  Cupid nodded.

  "Well apparently there was a little more to that blade than Dad always said. The short version, he was able to bring me back, good as new, and Gabe, not quite so good as new. Az was just shit out of luck though. Only so much juice in the old man."

  "Luc, I'm so sorry. I know he was your favorite. I never meant for any of this to happen. I had no idea what a lunatic he was, or I would have come to you from the start."

  "If you had, maybe things would have been different." Luc shrugged. "Maybe not."

  "What are you going to do with me." Cupid's shoulders slumped forward and he looked ready to accept his fate. It was almost too easy. Luc kind of wanted him to protest, to stand up for himself, but he knew he was wrong.

  "What do you think I should do to you?"

  Cupid got up and walked back over to the bars. "I don't deserve to be free. I barely deserve to be alive. Maybe you should listen to Harley."

  "She wants me to cage you in Hell, right next to Michael, for the rest of eternity."

  "I'm surprised she didn't suggest just killing me."

  "She did, but she knows I'm not willing to do that. If Michael gets to live, you certainly aren't dying for this." Luc stood and walked over to Cupid. "Look, I know you didn't mean for any of this to happen, but you fucked up big time. This isn't just a family squabble, Cupid. Az is dead. Gabe is ruined."

  "And you, Lucifer, you've lost a lot too."

  "That's irrelevant."

  "It's not. I know I owe you for my part, and I'll accept whatever punishment you choose for me. I won't argue, or fight you. I deserve it. I would ask one thing though."

  "What's that?"

  "Let me find your soul mate for you. Please, just let me help, so you can find a little happiness. No one deserves it more than you."

  "No." Luc tensed and ground his teeth together. The last thing he wanted, before, and definitely now, was Cupid's help finding love. He would find his soul mate without that little shit, or he would be alone forever.

  "Okay. I won't push it, but if you change your mind, just say so. I'm not looking to be the hero, or anything this time. I just want to see you happy."

  Luc didn't care, even if he did sound genuine.

  "I'm letting you go." Luc texted Oz and asked him for the key. Seconds later, a small mage pushed past Luc, stuck a shiny key into the lock, and turned it. The lock popped and the door creaked open. She turned and left without another word.

  "You're what?" Cupid's eyes bugged out of his head and he stepped back, further into the cage. "You can't."

  "Of course I can."

  "But—"

  "Remember that part about how you won't protest or argue?"

  "I know, but, that was when I thought you were going to lock me away, send me to hell for some torture, or something awful. You can't just let me go?"

  It wasn't like Cupid to care more about what was right, than his own selfish needs. Maybe the creep learned something after all.

  "There's been enough awfulness in the world. I can't take anymore. Just go." Luc stepped aside and waited for Cupid to walk out of the cage. Reluctantly, he did. Before getting far, he grabbed Luc and pulled him in for a very unwanted hug.

  "I won't forget your kindness, Lucifer." And with that, he was gone.

  It was a weight off Luc's shoulders. Harley was going to be pissed, but she would have to get over it. Luc nee
ded to do this.

  "What about me?" Aivah called from her cell, her small voice just barely carrying.

  "That's not up to me." Luc walked over and stood in front of the tiny woman. "Your fate is up to Oz, but I'll gladly tell him that in my opinion, he should go easy on you."

  She stared at him, only a trace of anger still remained.

  "I never meant for things to go down the way they did. I hope you can one day believe that."

  She just blinked at him, so he walked away. He couldn't worry about Aivah. He would do as he said, and tell Oz not to be too harsh, but in the end, that was out of his hands. His business with Oz had nothing to do with mage insubordination.

  If Oz was ready to do business, he would have come out. When he was ready, he knew where to find Luc. Until then, Luc had enough on his plate. He walked out the way he'd come in, ignoring the chatter as he passed.

  "I still can't believe you just let him go." Harley poured Luc a bourbon and shoved the glass at him.

  "I still can't believe you haven't picked the next girl yet." Luc drank half the glass and pushed it at her to top it off. "You're the one always complaining that we need to finish and that I can't take time off. I think it's time, Harley."

  "I know. I just wanted to make sure I picked the right one this time. You don't need to deal with anyone else's problems this month."

  "Just pick who you would have picked if none of this happened. I can handle it. I won't break."

  "Yeah, yeah, I know. You're the King of Hell and all that jazz. You're big and strong, and tough."

  "No. I'm just doing the best I can, same as you. I miss Az, too. I know this is hard."

  "Yeah, whatever." Harley flipped the bar towel over her shoulder and started stacking glasses.

  She'd been pissy since he went to see Cupid. Hell, she'd been pissy for weeks, but Luc understood. She had to grieve in her own way. They really were all just doing the best they could.

  "Mr. Morningstar?"

  Luc spun around to find Sarah Ward standing behind him. Her hair was down, sitting in long tangles around her shoulders, and she was dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. She looked tired and sad.