Poodle

by K. L. Savage

  I’ve never seen him look so cocky.

  I love it.

  “I can’t wait to come down that throat, sunflower. Suck me like you wish you could fuck me, baby,” he gives me words of encouragement, and I lap my tongue around the iron hard shaft, licking it as if he’s my favorite popsicle in the midst of July, slurping him down afraid he melts. “I can’t get the image of you riding my cock out of my mind. When we get home, that’s exactly what you’re going to do.” He groans one last time before tossing his head back to relax and enjoy the ride.

  I hum around the mouthful, slurping greedily, and letting my spit run down the length of his veiny cock as I take him to the root, choking as the flare of his tip lodges past by gag reflex. I take in a much needed breath and concentrate on the blood-filled crown, dipping my tongue in the slit. His pre-cum bursts across my tongue, and I moan in gratitude, loving his salty flavor.

  A knock sounds at the door, and I try to pull off to hurry away, but Poodle’s hand slides in my hair and keeps me where I am, pushes my head down to take more of his cock. My lips are stretched, and tears leak from my eyes and soak my face, adding to the balm of my spit along his cock.

  “Don’t you dare fucking move.” His order causes my clit to pulsate, and my hands enter the space between my legs to release the throb building in my core.

  “I got your food,” Tool says.

  “Leave it by the door,” Poodle barks, thrusting his hips into my mouth.

  “You better not be fucking on my desk! I only fuck on my desk, Poodle!” Tool bellows from the other side of the door. The sound of plastic crinkles, and he’s muttering under his breath.

  I giggle, then moan when I hit my clit just right.

  “Nope,” Poodle grunts loudly, fucking my face, desperate to get off.

  “Fucking better not come on my goddamn couch. I swear to God,” Tool grumbles as his boots pound against the floor as he walks away.

  “Think that’s funny?” Poodle questions, lifting his hips off the couch to take control of the blow job. “I should fuck you on his desk. Maybe I will one day. It can be our dirty little secret.” His shallow strokes turn long and hard. I lift my eyes to his face, staring at him through mascara-painted lashes, that spark ignites between us as he comes. “Fuck yes, swallow every drop, sunflower.”

  And I do.

  Every damn, delicious drop.

  23

  POODLE

  It’s been days since our last lead, and I’m getting frustrated. Badge has searched credit cards, banks, checked the country’s traffic cameras, and there is no Hector Livingston anywhere, which makes us wonder if he had the ability to die and get born again with new documents like we’ve provided for others.

  I’m chomping at the bit. I need to know. I love Melissa, but the absence of not knowing what happened to my kid is taking its toll. I can’t keep living like this. This void is unbearable. At this point, I get the feeling that my Ellie is dead, and I need to know so I can finally take the last step in moving on.

  I toss the wrench aside, and it clatters to the ground, bouncing off the red metal toolbox. I’m underneath an old 1967 Ford Mustang, and the man who owns it has let this beautiful car go to shit. The body is rusted and the oil filter hasn’t been changed in so long I can’t get the damn thing off.

  “Stupid piece of shit!” I roar and slam my palm against the undercarriage, and the damn exhaust breaks in half.

  Hands grip my ankles and yank me out from under the car. Tool is standing there, cleaning his oiled-up hands on a new white towel that won’t stay new for long. His hair is gathered on top of his head in a tiny ponytail. He hates when it’s in his face while he works. “Problems there, Princess?” Tool jokes and kicks the side of my boot gently.

  “Fuck off, Tool. I’m not in the mood.” I try to hide myself under the car to tinker with it some more, but he stops me.

  Tool squats down on his haunches and tosses the rag over his shoulder. “Listen, I won’t bitch at you for getting testy with me because I know the last thirteen damn years haven’t been easy, and these last few weeks haven’t been easier, so I’m going to let you get away with snapping at me. Things are in motion; you just have to be patient a little while longer.”

  “Patient?” I stand and wipe my hands on my jeans. “I’ve been patient, Tool. I’ve been patient for far too long.”

  “Killing isn’t patience,” he says.

  I shove his chest and point a finger in his face, snarling, “I was getting further killing those scum bags then sitting around here waiting.” I crack my neck, back and forth, my skin tight. That urge to kill is back. I need out of here. I need a name. I need to get my hands on some worthless fuck.

  Tool grips the back of my neck and levels with me. “We aren’t doing nothing, Poodle. I can’t imagine the pain you’re going through. I can’t imagine not knowing where my little girl is all these years—”

  “Don’t. Don’t talk about Ellie. Just don’t. Nothing you say is going to help. It feels like we’re doing nothing, and I can’t live like this much longer. I’ve lived long enough without answers, and I’m done. I can’t do it anymore.”

  “You need to do it for as long as it takes. Ellie needs it.”

  My teeth grind together. “Don’t you dare act like you know the first thing about what she needs.” I stomp away from the garage and make my way into the house. I need a release. My hands are shaking, and my heart is thumping out of control. My mind is buzzing with the memories of taking all those lives, the lives that deserved it, the lives that brought me to the Serpents. I can do this on my own. I don’t need anyone. Everyone else is slowing me down, and if I want to get shit done and get it done right, then I need to do it myself.

  “Don’t even think about it,” Reaper says from behind me, stopping me from continuing down the hall by getting ahold of my shoulder.

  “Let me go.”

  “No.”

  “Let me fucking go!” I spin around and charge him, but he doesn’t flinch.

  “No,” he says simply. “Don’t make me lock you up, Poodle. I will.”

  “I was doing just fine for the last decade. I was doing fine before you had to go snooping!”

  “You aren’t this person.” His eyes soften around the edges as he stares at me with pity. “Go to your woman, Poodle. Make love to her. Do something that doesn’t require you to lose a piece of your soul.”

  “You don’t know shit about my soul.’

  “I know more than you think,” he says, piercing his demonic eyes at me. “If I find out you left this clubhouse to scratch your itch, I’ll be taking repayment by pounds of your flesh. Don’t fuck with me, Poodle. I’m keeping your best interest at heart, but you fighting me is only going to slow this process down.”

  “I’m sick of waiting around and hearing nothing. I need something.”

  “I know, and Badge is working on it. This Hector guy isn’t easy to find. We need someone close to him. Once we find that person, I think we can get some answers.”

  “The list. The stack of papers. Those men—” I try to say, but Reaper interrupts me.

  “We’re looking for them. There is one, Jared Kolick. He was the last guy to see Hector in prison. I’m guessing that’s our guy. Badge is working on it.”

  Jared Kolick.

  I can find him. No one has to know.

  “Don’t even think about it. I’m not kidding when I say I’ll take it from your flesh. I have a feeling Melissa likes your flesh, and your daughter would be scared shitless when she sees you again.”

  I’m getting sick of people talking about my daughter as if I’ll ever see her again. “Ellie is probably dead. My flesh means nothing. Take it for all I care.” I turn around and steer to the left at the last minute instead of the right to get to my room.

  “Poodle!” Reaper shouts, but I ignore him as I sprint down the hall that leads to the new gym. It’s a full-size basketball court that everyone hardly uses. “Poodle!” he yells at me agai
n, but his voice grows distant the further away I get.

  I feel like I’m about to explode. Something is crawling underneath my skin and driving me crazy. It’s anger, depression, vengeance; it’s exhaustion, and it’s driving m insane. I can’t take it anymore. I hit the silver handle of the gym doors and they smack against the wall, resounding off the floors and trembling the bleachers.

  A pain in my chest spreads, and my knees buckle, hitting the polished wood under me, hard and unforgiving. I fall forward, and my hands break my fall. I let out a painful, mourning roar that I’ve kept in for far too long, and scream until there’s no more air in my body. I haven’t let myself accept the fact that my daughter is gone, dead, and I’m never going to see her again.

  I’ve lived in this bubble, this denial, and I’ve let it control me. Now that I have my club behind me, looking for answers, and coming up with nothing, it proves there isn’t anything to find. I’ve latched on to this for far too long. My psychosis is shattering now that I haven’t had my usual routine, and the truth is coming forward and knocking against the front of my skull.

  She’s dead.

  She’s gone.

  It’s the end.

  I spread my arms out and scream again, wanting God, wanting someone or something, to strike me down and take me already. I love Melissa, I do, but no one understands how empty I feel without my kid. No love I feel will ever be great enough.

  I’m not deserving of this love Melissa is giving me so freely. I deserve to live a life alone. I deserve to spend the rest of my life in misery. Death would be an easy way out for a guy like me.

  “Let it out.” Melissa’s hand rubs up my back and over my shoulder. “You’ve held it in for too long. Let it out.” She sits in front of me and wraps her hands around my neck, letting me fall apart in her arms, letting the weakness engulf me.

  I thought I had been letting it out all these years. The killings, the murders, I thought it was my way of releasing this agony inside me, but it wasn’t. It only buried it down further and further until it planted itself in my soul, until it took root and grew.

  And grew.

  Until the agony grew too big for my body to contain.

  And now I’m here, falling apart in my woman’s arms when I should be the one holding onto her.

  “It’s okay, let it out. It’ s okay. I’m here, James. I’m here,” Melissa whispers, stroking my hair like she usually does until I fall asleep.

  I clutch onto her, holding her as tight as I can without breaking her. “I miss her. I only had her for four months. I miss her, Melissa. I miss Ellie.”

  “I know you do, baby. I know,” she croons, keeping her voice gentle. “We will find her. You can’t lose faith now.” She holds onto my face and stares into my eyes. “It’s okay to feel hopeless, but you can’t be faithless. Not now, not when you’re the closest you’ve ever been.”

  “I can’t take it anymore. This life, not without knowing what happened to her. Even … even if she is dead. I have to know.”

  “And we will find out. We won’t rest until we do.”

  “I need you,” I say, squeezing her tight like she might vanish into thin air.

  “I’m with you until the very end, okay?”

  I inhale her scent, and the warm vanilla and hot cinnamon defeat the grief and calm my raging emotions. “I love you. I don’t deserve to love you. You’re my second chance at a life I never thought I’d have again.”

  “I love you too,” she sobs. “Your pain is my pain. I want what you want. And we are going to bring our little girl home. I don’t care what it takes.”

  “Our little girl?” I ask with a smile. I wanted to talk to Melissa about Ellie and if she ever came home, but I’ve been too nervous to ask.

  “Yeah, our little girl. If you don’t mind. I want a life with you, James.” I like that. I like that when we talk about serious things, she calls me by my name. It’s because Poodle is too funny too laugh at. “And a life with you means a life with Ellie or finding her. I won’t let you give up that fight, no matter how hard it gets; I won’t let you give up.”

  I can’t believe she loves me. I’ve given her no reason to love me, to be there for me, to stand by my side when all I’ve been is a killing machine. I’m going to make sure I’m the man she needs me to be from here on out. I need to be stronger.

  Nothing is going to come between us. Nothing is going to tear us apart. I’ll give my life to protect what is mine. No one will take from me again. I’ve spent the last thirteen years killing men in cold blood, and I’m not opposed to doing it for another thirteen.

  “I love you, James. Promise you won’t do anything that will make me lose you.”

  It isn’t just me anymore. I can’t think about myself. “I love you too, sunflower.” And here she is, proving how much she brightens my life by blooming love in the path of my darkness.

  “Until the very end?” she asks as she stands, holding out her hand for me to take.

  Our eyes lock, the intensity swirling around us like an electrical storm. Sliding my hand into hers, my strong, fearless woman helps me off my knees and gets me back to my feet. Every man needs a woman like her in his life.

  I don’t care what anyone says, men fall all the time, and it’s the women who put us back together.

  24

  MELISSA

  Seeing Poodle fall apart like that broke my heart. I heard him yelling at Reaper when I walked through the front door with Lady after picking her up from the doggy spa. She was tired and went straight to her bed. After I made sure she was settled, I ran toward the commotion but was too late. Poodle wasn’t there.

  I heard the soul-wrenching screams coming from the gym. and I knew it was him. Sarah had been in the kitchen, and the sound coming from Poodle made her cry. Maybe it’s because she can’t have kids, or missing the one she miscarried, but it hit home.

  Everyone wants to bring peace to Poodle.

  Every day that passes without information, Poodle loses a piece of himself, but after yesterday’s emotional breakthrough, he seems to be in better spirits.

  I say better because he’s bringing me coffee in bed, and he only wants one thing when he brings me coffee to bed. “Morning, sunflower,” he greets as he enters the room with a big smile on his face. He keeps the door open for Lady to get out and hang out with her baby daddy Yeti, and then he shuts her out.

  I rub my eyes and sit up, the smell of coffee bribing me. I reach my arms out for the morning nectar. “Gimme,” I say, still a bit sleepy when he sits on the edge of the bed and hands it to me. The mug is warm, waking me up but also making me relax and wishing I could go back to sleep. “Thank you,” I say, closing my eyes and taking a sweet, rejuvenating sip.

  He tucks a piece of hair behind my ear and kisses my cheek. “Anything for you,” he says, running his eyes over my face and watching his fingers run through the ends of my hair. His hair is a messy, sexy, fuck-me, man-bun and my lady bits are doing a happy dance. I love it when he has his hair up. It shows his strong jawline and thick neck.

  I set the coffee mug on the table and lean in for a kiss, coffee breath and all. “You seem to be in a good mood today,” I say, seeing the old Poodle right now instead of the one who seems so weighed down and defeated.

  “I am. I woke up seeing the prettiest girl in the country. I’d be a dumb man if I wasn’t in a good mood.”

  I blush, bringing my legs to my chest as I grin. “Just this country?”

  He tosses his head back, his throat muscles moving from the deep laughter filling the room. “Someone is cheeky,” he jokes and tugs me forward until I’m settled on his lap. “You know you’re the prettiest woman I’ve ever laid eyes on.”

  “Second,” I say, poking him in the ribs. “It’s okay to think of Holly. I’ll never make you feel bad for that.”

  He hums, thinking about what I said, and strokes my cheek and neck. His eyes roam over me as he contemplates. “I love you so much for that. Holly was beautiful, breath
takingly so, and she will always have a place in my heart, but Melissa, you’ve taken control of it.”

  I press my lips against his and smile. “You’re not so bad either,” I tease him, and before I can blink, he has me on my back, staring down at me with those playful green eyes. He doesn’t look so haunted, but somehow lighter, like he’s accepted the situation and is ready to think clearly.

  “I’m not so bad? Not so bad?” he scoffs. “Does this look bad?” Poodle swishes his hair left and right, and that damn lavender shampoo hits my nose, and I relax even further. “I’m a magnificent beast,” he says. “My mane speaks for itself.”

  “More like a unicorn,” I mumble and play bite his bottom lip.

  “I’ll give you a horn.”

  I shove his chest and chuckle. “Oh my God. That was terrible.”

  “You loved it,” he says, settling over me, and our eyes meet after he drags them up my body. His hands are underneath his shirt that I’m wearing, his fingers digging into my hips. The playful air morphs into that familiar charge, and my breath quickens when his thumb rubs over the hill of my hip. “You’re so sexy.” Poodle wastes no time taking off the shirt, leaving me in just a simple pair of black cotton panties. “That’s better.” He fills his palms with my breasts and moans. “So much better.”

  “I knew this was why you brought me coffee,” I gasp when his thumb grazes over my nipple, officially making the last of the sleepiness fade and my body wake to his touch.

  Which is so much better than coffee.

  “It’s the only way you won’t bite me for waking you up.” He licks up my abdomen, and my eyes close when he kisses down the peach fuzz of my happy trail. Poodle bites the band of my undies and pulls them down my legs until the air breezes over my bare pussy.

  I’m naked.

  And Poodle is officially overdressed.

  I reach for his shirt, and he pins my arms down. Anticipation courses through me when I realize what kind of morning he’s wanting and it isn’t one of laughter and sweet stolen kisses. “Keep your arms to yourself. If you touch me, I won’t let you come. Understand?”