Broken Halo

by Dayo Benson

  "Come inside," I whisper.

  Colby lifts a sardonic brow.

  I roll my eyes. "Nothing is going to happen. My friends are in. I want to introduce you."

  "Why?"

  "They're dying to meet you."

  "You've been telling your friends about me?"

  "I only told them a little bit. Not much."

  We get out of the car and Colby follows me to the door.

  The fact that he's agreed to meet my friends tells me he doesn't really want us to stop seeing each other.

  This time, I'm able to unlock the door myself even though my hands are trembling slightly.

  I can hear the TV blaring in the den. I take Colby's hand and lead him in that direction.

  Leah is lying on the couch. She sits up when Colby enters the den. "Where's Gina?" I ask her.

  "In the kitchen," she says, eying Colby.

  I can tell she sees what I see.

  "This is Colby." I give Colby's hand a little squeeze. "This is my best friend, Leah."

  "Nice to meet you," Colby says.

  Leah grins. "You, too. Chloe has talked about you non-stop since she met you last Friday."

  Colby glances at me.

  "She's lying," I tell him.

  "Can someone come and help me out in the kitchen?" Gina screams from the kitchen.

  "That's my other best friend," I tell Colby. "Leah is the calm one. Gina is the one you don't ever want to mess with."

  Colby gives me an 'I don't care' look.

  Hmm, maybe he still has no intention of sticking around despite agreeing to meet my friends.

  "Gina," Leah calls. "Chloe's Colby is here."

  "Chloe's Colby?" Colby murmurs to me.

  "Sorry," I whisper back.

  Gina dashes out of the kitchen and then promptly stops when she sees us. She plasters a smile on her face as she looks at Colby. Then her jaw drops.

  Okay. I know Colby is pure hotness, but I do not expect that kind of reaction from Gina. I expect her to act classy and just say hi.

  I look at Colby, hoping he hasn't noticed that Gina's jaw is halfway to the floor.

  Colby is looking at Gina with a tense look in his eyes.

  "Georgie?" he asks.

  "Hey, Colby," she replies. She makes a face. "I didn't realize you were the Colby she's been talking about all this time."

  "You guys know each other?" I ask.

  "Yeah," Gina says, nodding. "I grew up attending his dad's church."

  I look at Colby. He's a pastor's son?

  "How are your parents?" Colby asks.

  "They're fine. They still go to your dad's church."

  They both fall silent and then Gina forces a smile. "Nice to see you." Then she returns to the kitchen.

  Colby immediately walks towards the front door.

  "Colby?"

  He ignores me. He's out the door and in his car before I can stop him. He speeds away.

  I glare at his taillights and then head back inside and enter the kitchen. "Don't tell me you and Colby used to date, or anything ridiculous like that. Please don't tell me you're his ex-girlfriend."

  Gina snorts. "Ex-girlfriend? I never gave him a second look. His brother, Hudson, is a million times hotter than he is. Blond. Amazing blue eyes. I hear he's married now, though."

  "I don't care about Colby's married brother. What's going on? What was that about just then?"

  "I stopped attending his dad's church, and I can't bring myself to attend any other church because his dad…" Gina folds her arms across her chest and gives me a bitter smile. "Let's just say the way he treated Colby and his older brother was really sad. My parents always thought it was an example of how they should treat me and my brother. Keep your kids in line. Don't tolerate any rebellion. Be strict and firm." A pained look fills Gina's dark eyes. "But then something terrible happened to Colby's family and it was just awful. I refused to go to church anymore after that. The way his dad handled it was sickening. Has Colby told you about it?"

  "No. He's told me nothing except that he has two secrets that he's going to tell me someday."

  "Do you know what he does for a living?"

  "Yeah. He's a property developer."

  Gina lifts her brows.

  "Isn't he?" I ask.

  She shrugs quickly. "I-I don't know."

  "You do, Gina. Tell me."

  "I don't know anything for sure, but I've heard rumors."

  "Tell me what you know."

  Gina shakes her head. "I'll try to find out for you. If I knew he was your Mr. Tawny Eyes I would have told you to stick with Timothy."

  Gina is like Fort Knox. Honestly, if our government ever needs a spy to send to North Korea or Russia—someone who won't give in and leak national secrets no matter the pressure—Gina is their girl. I hound her to tell me what she knows about Colby but she won't.

  It's not my place to say, she says.

  I should let him tell you himself, she says.

  Such big things should come from the horse's mouth, she says.

  She's right. But I still want her to tell me.

  Later in the afternoon, she sends me an email about an audition for an indie movie. This is not the first time she's seen something and forwarded it to me. She knows I pay my tuition from my acting gigs, so she and Leah always keep an eye out. I do the same for them, referring clients to Leah if I ever hear anyone say they need a graphic designer and suggesting blog topics to Gina.

  The audition is this evening. I decide that since I won't be catching a movie with Colby tonight, after all, I might as well go for the audition. Especially when I see how much it's paying.

  I've shamelessly called Colby four times since he dashed away. He didn't answer. That tells me that whatever Gina knows about him is serious. He probably thinks Gina has already told me.

  I text him to let him know that Gina has told me nothing, so he should lighten up.

  I leave home at six and drive over to the audition location. The streets are filled with people dressed up to hit the town. If I were going to see a movie with Colby, I would be one of them—dressed in nice clothes. Wearing a happy smile.

  I wonder if I'll see Colby at the art gallery tomorrow.

  For some reason, I doubt it.

  I pull up outside a large manor house and frown remembering that this is the place I chased Colby to exactly a week ago. There's nowhere to park, so I drive to the Olympia Theater and park there.

  Driving my own car makes me think of Colby's luxury car.

  Just a few days ago, everything between us was looking up. Today, I don't even know what's going on.

  I have a feeling that whatever we had is over. He made it clear, this morning in Costa. He said we need to end everything now and cut our losses. But then, he kissed me in the car after driving me home from college.

  That gave me hope.

  Maybe it shouldn't have.

  It begins to rain as I walk over to the large manor house. I don't have a hood, so my hair is going to look crazy by the time I get to the audition.

  When I get to the manor, I push the button on the intercom on the gate. I'm not yelled at to go away this time.

  I give my name and the gates begin to creak open.

  Chapter 20

  Every audition I've ever been to was held in a hall or a studio.

  I stare up at the towering manor as I approach. It's practically a semi-mansion with its stone pillars and marble porch.

  I must be at the wrong place.

  I have to be. Maybe the audition is taking place somewhere near here.

  I look at my watch. I have exactly ten minutes to find the right place.

  I decide I can't be bothered. If I'm was at the wrong place, I might as well kiss this indie movie goodbye.

  I look at the big brass knocker on the door and the gold doorbell.

  Here goes nothing. I tuck a handful of wet hair behind my ear and then ring the doorbell.

  Behind me, the needles of the evergreens
in the vast courtyard rustle musically in the breeze

  I look around. This is some rich family's home. I should leave before some rich person opens the door and looks down their nose at me.

  But if Colby came here last week, dressed as a knight, then maybe they do hold auditions here.

  The door opens abruptly and I jump.

  A man looks out "Are you here for the audition?"

  "Yes."

  He steps aside and gestures for me to enter the house.

  My eyes are wide as I walk inside. This has got to be the poshest place I have ever been in.

  "You're the only one who's shown up," he says. "So we're going to just shoot. Unless you're really terrible, this job is yours."

  "Oh." I beam. "Thank you."

  "Do you have any scars or tattoos?" he asks.

  "No."

  His gaze trails over me from head to toe. "Well, we'll see anyway when we examine your body."

  Examine my body? Doesn't that only happen to dead people?

  He hands me a one-page script and then leads me into a room.

  The room is a set. There's a big bed and lights and cameras around it.

  "From your resumé, I see you've done a lot of acting," the man says. "In that case, this should be a breeze for you. There aren't many lines."

  "Yes, I have a lot of experience—"

  "We'll just go straight into shooting, then. Unless anything stands out while we're shooting, I figure we can examine you later. I'll get the hero. Heard of Mr. Big?"

  I shake my head.

  "Well, he's the main man in this industry. That's why we can afford to pay so well. This video will get millions of views. You're not the star, so there's no need for any fancy hair or makeup. You're fine as you are."

  When he leaves, I'm about to start familiarizing myself with the single page script when Gina calls me.

  "Have you decided to enlighten me about Colby yet?" I answer.

  "Are you at the audition?" she asks.

  "Yeah. The job is mine. So, are you going to tell me about Colby?"

  "Chloe…"

  "I would so tell you if I knew something you didn't know about a man you like."

  I'm still trying to get her to tell me what's going on when the man returns.

  I quickly hang up and try to look busy.

  People pile into the room and start switching on the cameras and lights.

  I'm shocked when Colby walks in.

  He doesn't look at me. His gaze is on the bed. There's a glassy look in his eyes that I've never seen before.

  He's wearing only boxers.

  "This is the great Mr. Big," the man who opened the door tells me. I figure he's the director.

  "Colby?" I say.

  Colby's head snaps in my direction and his face pales. "What are you doing here?" he demands.

  "I'm here for an audition. It looks like you are too. I thought you said you're not an actor. I thought you said you only write screenplays."

  Colby looks at a loss for what to say.

  I smile. "I'm glad you're a fellow actor."

  Colby stares at me for a moment. Then he looks at the director. "This is the girl?"

  "Yeah," the director says. He winks at me. "Probably one of the prettiest we've had."

  "Get her out of here," Colby grinds out. "She doesn't know what she's here for."

  "Don't speak to me like that!" the director yells.

  His sudden shout echoes through the room and something constricts in my chest.

  The director's eyes are suddenly wild. A vein has popped up in his neck.

  Colby opens his mouth to say something but the director yells again. "Shut up!"

  Colby clamps his mouth shut. His gaze drops to the floor.

  He's standing there, shoulders squared and oh-so-tall, but something about his posture makes me think of a little boy.

  I've come across overbearing directors, but never have I seen an actor fall silent at a director's command. I wonder why the director has so much power over Colby that he won't even speak once he's been told to shut up.

  I notice that the cross on the left side of Colby's chest is jumping slightly. His heart must be hammering.

  Everyone else is still setting up. Colby is standing there in the midst of it all like some kind of statue. He doesn't look at me. He doesn't look at anyone or anything, and he doesn't say a word.

  I can only stand there watching him.

  Something is wrong here.

  Once everything is ready, the director yells at us to get started. I glance at the script and see that I'm supposed to be on the bed. There's a kiss in the very first scene.

  Is this indie movie some kind of steamy flick?

  I'm trying to read more of the script as I sit on the bed, wondering just how steamy it gets, but the script is snatched from my hands.

  Suddenly, Colby leaps over and slams onto me. He reeks of some weird chemical smell that takes me back to when I lived in college dorms during my freshman year.

  He's been smoking something. It smells like marijuana.

  He starts kisses me and tugging at my clothes.

  I'm shocked. I try to push him away.

  "Cut!" the director yells.

  Colby climbs off me.

  His glassy eyes are so weird.

  What is going on with him?

  What is going on here?

  "Sorry," I say. "Can I just see the script one more time?"

  "Why?" The director demands.

  "I…don't know my lines."

  "You're not supposed to say anything. You're just supposed to make noises. Act turned on. Let him remove your clothes without fighting him off."

  "How much of my clothing does he remove?"

  The director gives me an exasperated look. "All of it. Duh!"

  I'm going to kill Gina.

  "Right. I, uh, don't do nudity or sex scenes. You would know that if this audition had been arranged by my agent, but it hasn't. Are you open to making any amendments?"

  "She doesn't know what's going on here," Colby says quietly, looking at the floor.

  "You don't need to know what's going on," the director yells. "There's nothing to know except that you two are gonna have sex and we're going to film it. That's all there is to pornography."

  Oh.

  The words astound me like nothing ever has before in my life. I'm speechless.

  Is this some kind of joke?

  I turn to Colby. "This is a porn flick?"

  He looks at me then. The dead look in his eyes freaks me out. "Yeah."

  I look at his boxers. Mr. Big is written in gold all around the waistband.

  Things are coming together in my mind slowly, like pieces of a jigsaw.

  The knight costume last week. The flashy car. His pretty good acting skills. His refusal to commit because I'm going to leave him once I find out what he really is.

  "You're a…" I can't bring myself to say the words.

  Suddenly it hits me. Gina set this up. She knew. She didn't want to outright tell me, so she made a way for me to find out for myself.

  I wonder if Colby would ever have told me.

  The director said he's the biggest in the business. His flicks get millions of views. No wonder there's not a single trace of him online. He must keep his real name completely hidden. I was searching the wrong name.

  The director starts yelling for the staff to get me out of there and call one of the regulars.

  I want to stay and talk to Colby, but he doesn't spare me a glance as one of the men who yelled at me to go away last week Friday appears and drags me out.

  I'm tossed outside. Then my purse is tossed out after me.

  My head is spinning.

  I can't take it in. I can't. The man I've fallen in love with is a…

  I can't even bring myself to think of those words in connection with Colby. He's a pastor's son. We're a preacher's kid and a missionary kid. It sounds like a set-up for the perfect romance. But it isn't.

>   He warned me that he's damaged, but this is beyond damaged. This is pure madness.

  I hang around outside, waiting for Colby to come out. Since they don't have anyone for him to film with, they should release him for the night.

  Then I remember that the director said they should call in one of the regulars. Did he mean a girl that Colby has filmed with before? I hope they're unable to find anyone.

  I've been sitting on the porch steps for close to forty-five minutes when a taxi pulls up outside the gates. A girl with long dark hair gets out and the gates open for her as the taxi speeds away.

  She struts over, hair swishing, and sashays up the steps.

  "Hey," she says to me as she rings the bell. "Are you filming, too? Will it be the three of us?"

  I want to throw up. I shake my head.

  She's my replacement.

  She's going to go in there and sleep with the guy I thought I was in love with.

  The door is opened for her and I feel numb as it shuts after her.

  She's inside for ages. Sleeping with the guy that I left my good, Christian fiancé for.

  Cracks run through my heart. I'm both numb and hurting.

  I have to leave the porch. I feel dirty just sitting here, knowing what goes on inside this place. I walk to the gates, push the button, and then stand out on the sidewalk. For some reason, I can't leave. I want Colby to come out and tell me that this is just a joke.

  When the doors to the manor eventually open, two hours have passed since I first got here. Night has fallen.

  The security lights flick on as he descends the steps. He's moving sluggishly.

  No joke. He's probably spent from what he's been doing these past two hours.

  As he approaches the gate, I see that a cigarette is dangling from his lips. He puffs out a cloud of thick, white smoke and a strong chemical smell fills the air. The security lights illuminate the haunted, tired look in his eyes.

  He doesn't look at me as the gates open. I can tell he's planning to just walk past me and be gone.

  "Can we talk?" I ask.

  "No."

  The word is curt.

  Nothing about him feels familiar anymore. He's like a different person.

  He sets off down the street.

  I follow. "Colby—"

  He curses. "Now you know why we can't be together. I'm not answering any questions. Google Mr. Big and find out everything you need to know. They pretty much own me. There's nothing I can do about it."