So Bad for Me: Bad Boy Forbidden Love Romance Collection

by Jamie Knight

  I turned in the direction of their house, starting to get into the holiday spirit at the thought of being able to see my best friend and the woman that I loved.

  Despite my best efforts to keep my mind off of her, I found my thoughts on her constantly. I worried about how she was doing, if she was okay, and if she thought about me the way that I thought about her. My code of morality was hanging on by a thread. My heart was starting to win out and I was tempted to cut the cord myself and just give in.

  But, out of respect for her father, I stayed in my place.

  My phone rang, startling me so much that I swerved a little and had to steady my hands on the wheel. I pushed the button in my car that answered the phone over the hands-free Bluetooth.

  “Hello?” I answered.

  “Hey Mad Brad, it’s your cousin,” she practically sang. “Are you on the plane already?”

  She sounded so anxious and eager, like a little kid waiting to find out if they had finally reached the destination of their super fun vacation. I hated to have to disappoint her, but I really didn’t have a choice.

  “No, sweetheart,” I said, trying to speak loud enough for her to hear me over the car engine. “My flight got cancelled because there are tons of snowstorms all over.”

  “Yeah, I was afraid of that,” she said, sounding truly sad. “I understand, though. It’s never been as cold down here as it’s been this year. Well, do you think that you could come visit sometime after the New Year?”

  I felt a twinge of guilt hearing my dear relative’s simple and reasonable requests. Why hadn’t I made an effort to go home sooner? I was so busy, thinking about myself and getting my life together I had forgotten about her and other family members who were sprinkled around Tennessee.

  I guess that my mind had been stuck on how things were when I left that I barely kept contact with that home to find out that I was indeed missed. It warmed my heart hearing my cousin’s voice. I decided right then and there that I would make an effort to be around my family more.

  “I will definitely make sure to get down there soon, m’dear. Much love.”

  “Back at you,” she said, sweetly as ever.

  I hung up the phone with her just as I was pulling up to James’s house. The house was well-lit and covered in festive lights. I got out of the car and got ready to walk up to the door when I remembered that I was coming in empty-handed. I’m sure that James wouldn’t have minded, but I thought that it was only polite to have something in hand before just showing up.

  I thought about what I might have with me that I could use and remembered that in my luggage, I’d packed a bottle of wine that I had planned to give to my brother-in-law. My cousin told me that he started collecting obscure vintage items and I found a rare bottle of French wine that wasn’t even made anymore. The bottle that I had ordered on EBay was one of seven remaining.

  I popped my trunk and opened my suitcase, rummaging around inside of it until I found the bottle. It was almost better that my flight had been cancelled because, based on what my mother had shared about my brother-in-law years ago, he wasn’t someone that I particularly cared for anyway. For a tasty $200 bottle of wine, I’d much rather share it with my good friend, James.

  I walked up to the door and knocked hard. A few moments later, the door swung open and James stood there, holding a beer in hand. He smiled brightly and extended his arms to me to give me a hug.

  “Look who it is!” he yelled, slurring his words. “Bradley’s here! I didn’t think that I’d be seeing you any time soon. It’s a Christmas miracle!”

  He laughed raucously, pulling me inside the house and hugging me hard. He smelled like a brewery.

  “It’s good to see you, too,” I said, holding out the bottle of wine toward him. “I brought some wine for you, but it looks like you’ve already got a head start on drinking.”

  James slapped his knee, doubled over with laughter. I reached out to steady him as he almost tipped over.

  “I’m good,” he said, gaining his footing. “Here, let’s go into the kitchen.”

  I followed closely behind him, watching to make sure that he wouldn’t fall again.

  “Natalia, look who decided to join us,” he said.

  Natalia stood in the kitchen behind the counter chopping vegetables. Her head snapped up and she stared at me, her eyes wide. She looked like a trapped deer. I half expected her to run out of the room, but she didn’t. She just stood there as if she was frozen, staring at me as I walked into the room.

  “Hello, Natalia,” I said, giving her the warmest smile that I could muster.

  “James came bearing gifts,” said James, holding up the bottle of French wine. “I’ll go ahead and pour us a glass.”

  He opened the cabinet, swinging the door open wide. He pulled out three glasses and then paused.

  “Oh, wait,” he said. “We only need two glasses. Natalia is pregnant. I’m gonna be a grandpa.” He winked at me and smiled.

  “What did you say?” I asked James, positive that I had misheard him.

  “Crazy, right?” he said, reaching his hands out to steady himself on the counter. “I just found out. Let's have a glass of wine to celebrate!” He was delighted and roaring.

  He extended a glass in my direction, but I didn't take it. My head was spinning and I struggled to make sense of his words and what was happening. I looked over at Natalia. She was frozen, really looking like she was trapped. She clutched the counter in front of her like she was trying to hide her belly and she stared down at the floor like she wanted to sink into it.

  I walked around so that I was standing directly in front of her. I turned her with two hands, so that she was facing me. I looked down at her belly. It was obvious that she was very pregnant. My heart jumped up into my throat.

  “How far along are you?” I asked, my tone almost accusatory.

  Before she could get the words out, James answered for her. “Four months,” he said, holding up four fingers and smiling.

  I stood back and started putting together the timeline. If she was four months pregnant, then that meant that she had gotten pregnant around the time that I was living there, when we had been together. And if that was the case, that meant that the baby that she was carrying was mine. For four months, she had been walking around with my child inside of her and she didn't even bother to let me know.

  With every nanosecond that I thought about it, the more angry I became.

  “Explain yourself!” I yelled.

  She jumped back startled. She had never so much as heard me raise my voice, let alone heard me yell at her. She didn't say anything. Her eyes were pleading with me, but it was like her words just wouldn't come. She looked back and forth between her father and I like she was watching a car accident.

  “Wait a minute...” cracked James, starting to sober up immediately.

  I realized too late what my outburst of anger had done. But, I couldn't take it back and I could barely contain my rage. What Natalia had done was inexcusable. If she was pregnant with my child, I had the right to know. I saw the realization set in with James at the same time that Natalia did and we braced ourselves for his reaction.

  Chapter 44

  Bradley

  “You son of a bitch!” yelled James, almost foaming at the mouth like a rabid animal. He lunged toward me like he was ready to attack.

  I stood steady, readying myself and waiting for his blows to land. I knew that I deserved every bit of his anger, so I didn't even bother putting up a defense. Before either of us had a chance to say something, Natalia stepped between us.

  “Dad, no,” she said, putting her arms against her father's chest in an effort to stop him. “I can handle this.”

  Her father huffed in frustration.

  “Move out the way, Natalia,” he growled, his eyes fixed on me. “This is between Bradley and me. Step aside.”

  The murderous way that he looked at me, his fists clenched at his side, a vein bulging from his muscular neck, a
lmost made me sweat.

  “Calm down,” shouted Natalia, beginning to lose her relative cool. “Let me handle this the way that I need to.”

  “Natalia, this is man's business. Not only did he violate a man code by sleeping with my daughter, showing me that he has no respect for our friendship, or me as a man, he left you pregnant. You've been having to deal with all of this on your own and that's not fair!”

  “Dad, it's not completely his fault,” she said, pleading with her father. “It wasn't like he knew that I was pregnant and he just chose to be absent. I just didn't give him that choice because I was still trying to figure out how I was going to deal with things. I just didn't tell him.”

  “Why?” James and I blurted out in unison.

  Natalia stood back and crossed her arms, too ashamed to look at either one of us.

  “It's because Bradley was bent on doing the right thing.”

  James snorted and rolled his eyes at her comment. Natalia looked between the two of us like she was trying to decide what to say and decided not to say anything and stalked out of the kitchen, shaking her head and mumbling under her breath. I followed behind her and James followed behind me. I stopped mid-stride and turned to face James. My palms were sweaty as I opened my mouth to speak, raising my head so that I was staring at him head on.

  “Would it be okay if I spoke to Natalia alone?” I asked, willing my voice not to give out.

  James scoffed and clucked his tongue.

  “I think that you've spent more than enough time with my little girl,” he said, leering at me like he still wanted to attack me.

  I hung my head. I told him, “I know. And I'm sorry for that. But, it's already been four months and the rest of the months are going to fly by, I'm sure. I think that now is a good time for us to start talking about what we're going to do once the baby comes.”

  “Are you going to marry her?” James asked, taking a step toward me. He looked at me squarely.

  I knew that what he was asking me was a question any real father would ask in this situation. But, more than that, it was something that he was asking me as a man of honor, someone who lived by a certain code of conduct where you did the right thing no matter what. Despite the circumstances, James knew that I was such a man.

  “I plan to,” I said.

  James threw his head back and laughed loudly. His laughter was so unexpected that it almost startled me. I was confused.

  “Please let me in on the joke,” I began cautiously. “What's so funny?”

  James covered his mouth, trying to contain his laughter.

  “Good luck,” he said, backing away, still giggling with glee.

  For a moment, I wondered exactly what James meant by that, but decided not to think too much into it. My focus at the moment was Natalia and our baby.

  I turned and walked down the hallway to the room that used to be Natalia's before she moved out. I tried to turn the door knob and found it locked.

  I knocked on the door softly and waited. No answer. I knocked harder. Still no answer. I pounded on the door, shaking it with each knock. I knew that she was in the room. She was ignoring me on purpose.

  “Are you going to open the door or am I going to have to take it off its hinges?”

  I waited silently. I could almost hear her thinking. After a few minutes, she shuffled toward the door and I heard the lock click. The door flew up and she stood in the doorway, looking at me angrily.

  “What do you want?” she asked in a huff.

  I tried moving into the room, pushing my body against hers, but she pushed me right back out the door.

  “I want you and the baby,” I said with thick emotion, looking at her with seriousness.

  “Babies,” she said, taking a step back.

  “Wait. What?” I asked, dumbfounded by her statement.

  “Babies,” she said, patting her belly affectionately. “I'm having twins.”

  She smiled down at her belly. Watching her stand there, full in this knowledge made me even more attracted to her. Finally, able to be free with her, I saw she had a maternal glow about her. It drove me wild. I wanted her in the worst way.

  “We're getting married,” I said firmly, reaching out to grab her hand. She pulled it away as if touching my skin burned hers.

  “I'm not marrying anyone who doesn't love me,” she said flatly.

  I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

  “What do you mean?” I asked, scratching my head, thoroughly confused. “How could you even doubt my love for you?”

  She looked at me with wide-eyed shock.

  “What you mean how could I doubt your love for me?” she said, raising her voice. “That seems like a pretty stupid question. Let's take a look at how things went. First, we sleep together and make crazy animal love everyday. Then, suddenly, you make it seem like it was worst decision you could have ever made. Then, you leave the house without so much as a goodbye. Then, you avoid me for months. So, remind me again how that's supposed to tell me that you love me?”

  She waited for me to answer her. It was almost like she had forgotten that the reason why I was just finding out about the babies, right here and now, is because she did pretty much the same thing.

  “Well, you avoided me, too,” I countered, pointing an accusatory finger in her direction. She looked away sheepishly.

  “It was for a good reason,” she said, her voice softening once again. Part of me just wanted to take her up in my arms and tell her that everything would be okay. Another part of me wanted to hash out these messy details before anything else.

  “That's not good enough,” I said, shaking my head. “No good can come from keeping a father away from his children. None at all.”

  I tried to contain my anger, but I could feel it simmering just beneath the surface. She sighed tiredly and bowed her head.

  “I know. And I'm sorry. I just thought that I was doing the best thing. I was trying to protect you and preserve your friendship with my dad. I know how important that is to you. To both of you. And I didn't want to have any part of ruining that.”

  “James is my best friend—” I began.

  “—I know. I know. That's why— ” she said, cutting me off.

  But I pressed a finger to her lips, silencing her.

  “He's my best friend and I would never want to do anything to jeopardize our friendship. But, nothing could compare to losing you or our babies. And even if there were no babies, I was miserable without you. I was holding on to my code of morality by a thread that was slowly but surely reaching its breaking point. I was only a few beats away from letting go of my need to do the right thing and do what felt right, and that's being with you.”

  She looked at me with her arms folded like she was trying to decide whether or not I was telling the truth. Her face softened and her shoulders slumped down like a huge weight had been lifted off of her.

  “I've been feeling the same way,” she said softly.

  She shifted uncomfortably as she stood by the door before moving to the bed and motioning for me to come sit. Our knees rubbed and I savored the feeling. This was the closest that we had been in months and it was sweet.

  Chapter 45

  Bradley

  “Can I touch your belly?” I asked cautiously. She gave me a look that I couldn't read. I wasn't sure if she was going to slap me or kiss me, so I waited for her to answer.

  “Sure,” she said finally, moving her arms away from her belly so that I could feel it.

  Her belly felt firm and was rounded. It was amazing, seeing the transformation that her body had undergone in just a matter of months.

  “Do you want to see the ultrasound pictures?” she asked, starting to sound more upbeat.

  “Of course,” I said, standing up excitedly.

  She reached into a drawer in the nightstand next to the bed and pulled out a strip of four pictures that were black and white. She held them up so that I could see them.

  “See, here's baby A and
here's baby B. Here's a foot. Here's them hugging each other. And see there? That little spec is what tells us that we are having boys.”

  She held the pictures up proudly, smiling brightly at me.

  “Boys?” I said, knocking my head with the heel of my hand. “No way!”

  “Yes. But, they aren't identical.”

  “Two boys,” I said, trying to stop my head from reeling.

  I was really excited about the thought of being able to run around with my sons. My sons. My happy thoughts were interrupted as I realized that I had already missed so much time with them. But, I understood that the way that I had left things, Natalia likely thought that I would run for the hills if I found out that she was pregnant, so she kept it hidden from me.

  I didn't want another moment to go by without her knowing how I felt about her. I took her hands up in mine, kissed them, and looked deeply into her eyes.

  “I love you,” I said. “And I want to be with you. I want to build a family with you.”

  She smiled, her eyes filling with tears of joy. “I love you, too. And I want the same thing: to build a family with you as a wife and mother. I want to be your wife.”

  I put my hand behind the nape of her neck and pulled her close to me, kissing her tenderly. Her lips tasted sweet and felt like home. I couldn't wait to start our life. But first, I wanted to show her how much I missed her.

  “I’ve thought a lot about bending you over my legs and giving you a good spanking for ignoring me,” I told her.

  “Oh yeah?” she asked, raising her eyebrows in a naughty way. Then she added, “I’ve thought a lot about it too, and there’s that tone of voice I’ve been missing.”

  “I guess it would be hard to do, right now,” I said, gesturing towards her stomach. “And I don’t want to make you scream too loud, so as not to make your dad mad at me all over again.”