Vetted: An Everyday Heroes World Novel (The Everyday Heroes World)

by A. M. Williams

  “August, I hate to break it to you, but the military is kinda a part of my life. They paid for my schooling, I gave them eight years of my life, I’m in the Reserves, and until recently, I was trying to find an active slot that I could take.”

  It was my turn to jerk at her words. “What?”

  “Yep. Hate to break it to you, but the military is here to stay in my life in some capacity. You know how important the military is to me. I told you how my goal was to somehow serve my country and give back in some capacity. Joining the military gave me that fulfillment. I’m not giving it up. I’ve been willing to consider other options since I got home, but you don’t know that because you won’t fucking talk to me about it.”

  I stared at her. I had no idea she did that or was considering something different from what she had here. But did it really matter in the long run? Yes, and no.

  When I pictured our life together, I didn’t picture it with military bases, camouflage uniforms, and multiple deployments. I pictured the house I was living in now with our kids, her parents across the street.

  But it seemed that we didn’t have the same dream.

  “I can’t go to base with you.” I was adamant about that.

  “Can’t? Or won’t?” She asked. When she asked that question, she sounded tired and my stomach soured. I could see the end approaching.

  “Both.”

  We stared at each other, and I saw the shutter come down over her eyes. They dimmed, and I was cut off, cast out.

  And I only had myself to blame.

  “Right. Well. I’d appreciate it if you and your brother would check on my parents occasionally. I’ll worry about them if you don’t.”

  Before I could say anything else, she stood up and walked out the screen door to the backyard and around the house, leaving me sitting on the porch, staring after her.

  As she walked away, I knew I’d just messed up monumentally, but I didn’t know what to say or do to fix it.

  Well, that was a small lie. I knew that if I told her I’d go to base with her for drop off that I could patch things up to some extent. The problem was? I couldn’t.

  So instead, I let Britain walk away from me, not knowing what that would mean for us in the future.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

  BRITAIN

  I SUCKED in a breath as the hangar I was being dropped off at for my pre-deployment briefing came into view.

  I heard my mother audibly gulp in the front seat and watched as she and my father clutched each other’s hands.

  Deploying before had never been easy. It was hard to leave people you cared about and a place you considered home.

  It was even worse this time, though, because my parents were with me. And that sucked because I had a front row to seat to what my leaving was doing to them.

  I licked my dry lips and tried not to think about how it was going to get worse before it got better.

  My dad followed the signs that directed us to the parking area. He pulled into a spot and turned the car off, the only sound in the car that of the radio that was still playing.

  I cleared my throat as I opened the door, my parents doing the same.

  I walked around to the trunk as my dad popped it open for me, and I tried not to think about how much this entire endeavor sucked major ass.

  I knew when I signed up to be a part of the reserves that there was a chance I would deploy. I just didn’t think it likely, and I was glad for that.

  My dad was sick, and I’d come home to be with him and to help as much as I could while he got back on his feet.

  Instead, I was deploying for at least six months, and while he was on the mend, he wasn’t one hundred percent yet. This was the worst time for me to leave.

  But was there ever a good time to deploy? I didn’t think so.

  I grabbed my duffel and went for my second bag, but my dad was there to pull it out. I gently pushed his hand away and said, “I got it.”

  I hefted the bag and looped the straps to both bags over my shoulders.

  I turned toward the hangar and started walking, eyeing the other people that headed that way. It was easy enough to pick out the ones deploying as we were all in uniform. Their families were easy to pick out as well.

  They all had that same air of sadness hanging over them.

  I swallowed thickly as we drew closer to the hangar in the pre-dawn light. I glanced to my right and saw my parents keeping pace with me, my dad’s arm wrapped tightly around my mom’s shoulder.

  We stepped through the large doors into the brightly lit hangar. “I’ll be right back,” I said, slipping away to get myself checked in and drop my gear off in the large pile of bags to the side of the hangar.

  A few minutes later, I rejoined my parents and looked at them, not sure what to say.

  Both of them had tears in their eyes and there wasn’t anything I could say or do that would make this easier. Except to inform them I wasn’t actually leaving and this was all a mistake.

  But that wouldn’t happen.

  I sighed. “I’ll get up with you by email as soon as I can,” I told them, clearing my throat to dislodge the ball that was suddenly in it. “It might be a few days. I don’t know exactly what it’ll be like once we’re there.”

  They both nodded. “We’ll be on the lookout for something from you.”

  I swallowed thickly and continued, “I may or may not have phone access for a while. If I get access, I’ll call when I can.”

  “We know,” my mom said gently.

  I looked at the floor of the hangar, staring at my boots. Right. They knew. I’d deployed before. But they’d never been with me at the drop off. I’d always taken myself or had someone else in my office drop me off.

  “Right,” I muttered.

  “Come here, honey,” my dad said, his voice wavering.

  I didn’t hesitate to step closer to my parents and let them envelop me in a hug. I wrapped an arm around each of their waists and the three of us stood there in a group hug, savoring the feeling of being with each other.

  We didn’t let go until a loud squeal of feedback sounded and I knew it was time.

  I pulled back and wiped my eyes. I hadn’t even noticed the tears streaming down my face until I was out of their grasp.

  I blew out a shaky breath and tried to smile at my parents, who also had tears on their face.

  Why was this so freaking hard?

  The next few minutes were a blur of goodbyes to my parents before joining everyone else in uniform to the side as we got ready to leave.

  As I waited for the families to leave, I tried hard not to look at my parents, knowing that seeing them would kill me inside, but I couldn’t help but keep my eyes trained on them, my eyes tracing over their faces.

  I wouldn’t see them for months and I wanted to remember what they looked like, even though devastation was written across their features.

  A short while later, the families left, and we got down to the business of leaving.

  I SETTLED into my deployed life fairly easily.

  We were lucky that where we ended up was established and already had working internet and phone lines. I called my parents a day after landing and getting set up in my bunk.

  It hadn’t been a long conversation, only long enough to let them know I had arrived, and that I was safe. I hadn’t wanted to hog phone time when there were hundreds of other people that wanted to talk to their families too.

  I hoped to video call them in a few days if everything continued to be okay.

  Work was fun and challenging in a way it could only be when you weren’t entirely sure what you were going to get.

  It was tragic because some animals we treated had terrible injuries from landmines and bomb blasts, but we also got to do normal wellness checkups.

  Time passed.

  I emailed my parents, Amy, other friends. Called my parents when I could. Asked after people, just not the one person who I wanted to know the most about. And they didn’t
mention him either.

  He was the one topic off limits.

  And when my dad found out that his cancer was gone, and he was in remission, I celebrated with them over a video call where I could see their friends in the background as well.

  I wished I was there, and I drank a non-alcoholic beer to celebrate that night with others from my tent.

  It was good.

  It wasn’t great, but it was good.

  I was busy most of the time, and when I wasn’t, I was trying to sleep.

  But when I couldn’t, my mind drifted to August.

  I remembered what it was like being with him, how he made me feel.

  The touch of his hand on mine.

  The sound of his laugh.

  The tenor of his voice when he was talking to me.

  How easy it was for the two of us to talk for hours without losing something to talk about.

  The ease of our relationship.

  Except for his thoughts and feelings on the military. That was the one black spot on our entire relationship, and it burned that he felt that way.

  History had repeated itself with us.

  In college, I thought for sure that we could talk about what it was that bothered him about my joining and overcome whatever it was. Instead, we had broken up.

  Much like that idealism, I thought we could talk about and figure out what the obstacles were and overcome them. But we hadn’t.

  August had shut me out and the more I thought about it, the more the hurt grew.

  I could understand his hold-ups now that I knew about Rich’s issues with deployments and August’s own resentments toward the military.

  I just didn’t understand how he could profess to be there for me and then go back on his word without a thought or care about what I was going through.

  He’d never asked how I was handling my upcoming deployment.

  And with that realization, I wondered if he’d ever really understood me and my motivations.

  I knew from an early age that I wanted to work with animals. I knew it in my bones. I loved being around animals and was fascinated by all things related to them.

  My desire to somehow give back to my country didn’t come till later when I was looking at options for being a veterinarian and how I wanted to achieve that. I realized that I wanted to make a difference in the world somehow and joining the military allowed me to do that.

  I worked with police dogs and other animals in the military and had the chance to do so many other things I never thought I’d do.

  I felt fulfilled in a way I never thought I would when I was working.

  Joining the military and becoming an Army veterinarian was the best decision I’d ever made for myself.

  And yet, it was hollow in so many ways because by following my dreams, I’d wrecked the great relationship I’d had with August twice.

  It had been unintentional. I’d shared my hopes and dreams with him. And each time he’d professed to understand, but he hadn’t stuck around when those dreams came to fruition.

  I could admit that I didn’t necessarily want to go on this deployment. Having been separated from the military lifestyle and having a glimpse of what the civilian lifestyle offered meant that I was now rethinking my plan to get an active duty slot on a nearby base.

  I wasn’t sure that was part of my dream anymore.

  But August didn’t know that because instead of trying to talk things through with me, he’d shut me out and decided that when the going got tough, he wouldn’t stick around.

  And that hurt more than I would admit to anyone.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

  AUGUST

  “YOU LOOK SURLIER THAN USUAL,” Rich said from the back door.

  I sighed and glanced over my shoulder at him, taking him in. I said nothing, just noted that he looked better than he had in a while, before turning back to face the yard, bringing my coffee cup to my lips so I could sip.

  I heard a thud and the slap of the screen door closing behind me and knew that Rich was joining me on the porch.

  Normally, I wouldn’t care if he joined me. But today wasn’t normal for me. I was in a foul mood and knew it was written on my face. That’s why I was sitting outside by myself, hoping Rich would just leave me alone.

  “What’s got your panties in a wad?” Rich asked as he sat on the armchair kitty-corner to me.

  I remained silent, studiously avoiding his gaze as I took another sip of coffee.

  We sat in silence for several minutes before Rich said, “I know the yard isn’t that interesting this time of year. It’s brown because of the heat and half-dead. And you’re not that interested in it when it’s healthy.”

  I worked my jaw back and forth, but still said nothing. Rich was just trying to get a rise out of me, something he was close to achieving.

  “Bro, come on.” Rich sighed, and I heard sounds of him shifting in his chair.

  I flicked my gaze to him and saw that he was staring at me. I sighed and shifted in my chair, the cushion squeaking beneath me.

  “Everything is fine,” I finally said, hoping he’d take me at my word and just leave me alone.

  Today marked two months since Britain left and close to two and a half since I’d seen her last. Well, I’d seen her from a distance before she left, but not up close.

  Two months since I’d talked to her. Held her. Spent time with her.

  Two months for me to think about how our last conversation had gone and kick myself in the ass because of what was said and implied.

  Two months to slowly start hating myself.

  “Everything is not fine. This have to do with Britain?”

  I stiffened at his question. “No.”

  Rich snorted, and I kept my gaze on the backyard, not wanting to see whatever look he was shooting my way that implied what a dumbass I was.

  I already knew I was one; I didn’t need my brother reminding me of the fact.

  “Dude. Come on. Whatever it is… get it off your chest,” Rich coaxed.

  “I’m good.”

  I wasn’t good. He knew it. I knew it. Britain’s parents knew it. Hell, even my students knew it at the beginning of the school year, as did the other teachers in the school.

  I was so far from good that it surprised me I hadn’t been told to take a vacation.

  That didn’t mean I wanted to talk this shit out with my brother.

  Rich sighed again, and I barely refrained from rolling my eyes. What did he have to sigh about? Nothing, as far as I knew.

  He wasn’t the one that had completely ruined his relationship.

  “Since you’re not chatty, I guess I’ll just talk and you can listen.”

  I didn’t want that either but telling him that would require me speaking and I wasn’t in the mood. So, I’d just tune him out.

  However, that was harder than I thought.

  “Not that you asked, but I spoke with Britain a few days ago and she’s doing well. No attacks have been close to base, and she said she’s settled in. Counting down the days until she’s home already.”

  My heart started thumping wildly in my chest at his words.

  I had so many questions I wanted to ask him, starting with why he was talking to her.

  Rich continued. “She’s emailed me some photos of where she is. It’s a fucking desert, and it brings back memories, but she’s making the best of it. She’s already talking about what she wants to do when she gets back.”

  My blood was whooshing in my ears and I could barely hear Rich but hear him I did. I couldn’t block him out.

  “Why are you telling me this?” I asked him after several moments of silence.

  “Because I think you’re being a jackass and you need to see that what you think is going to happen isn’t. Yes, deployment is dangerous. Yes, it’s hard on the people that it impacts and I’m not talking just about the service member; I’m talking about the families, too. But you’ve still got your head in the sand and instead of trying to work thi
ngs out with Britain and supporting her, instead you’re sitting out here brooding like an asshole because you don’t want to admit that you’re scared.”

  The silence was deafening after Rich stopped speaking.

  My blood still whooshed in my ears and I felt like a weight had settled on my chest. “I don’t want to talk about this,” I said in a low voice.

  “And I don’t want to deal with the terrors I still sometimes experience after my deployment. But we don’t always get what we want.”

  I jerked at his words, finally looking at him. “You still have them?”

  Rich stared at me. “I’ll always have them. But I’ve learned to deal with them better than before. And that’s not what I wanted you to get from that.”

  I blinked at him. “What did you want me to pull from that, then?”

  “That you’re wasting time sitting here being mad about whatever you’re mad about instead of just reaching out and talking to her. Send her an email. I’m sure she’ll respond.”

  I made a noise low in my throat. It wasn’t that I doubted what he was saying, but he wasn’t aware of everything that Britain and I had talked about the last time we saw each other. And if I had anything to say about it, he wouldn’t ever know what was said.

  “August, bro. Come on,” Rich said, his voice taking on a defeated tone. “Don’t let her get away. When you’re with her, you’re happy. Yeah, there are some things that two of you need to talk about, but that’s just it. You have to talk to each other and not just… let things slip through your fingers.”

  I looked at my brother again and studied him. His facial expression matched the tone of his voice: defeated. I took the chance to really look at him and study him. What I thought earlier, that he looked better than he had in a long time, was still true.

  But there was something else lurking behind his eyes. He looked haunted in a way I didn’t completely understand.

  “What’s up with you?” I asked.

  He shook his head. “Nothing. I’m just tired of watching you beat yourself up over what happened between the two of you and you not bothering to do something. I think you’re going to have to make the first move here. And I don’t want you to wait so long that it eventually becomes too late.”