Patience

by Grace R. Duncan

Tanner sniffed Chad’s neck, then opened his mouth.

  Jamie tensed, but relaxed when Miles put a hand on one shoulder and Finley put one on the other shoulder.

  “It’ll be fine,” Finley whispered to him.

  Jamie nodded, not that he believed it.

  Being prepared for it didn’t make it any easier to see Chad bitten. Tanner was incredibly gentle, but even so, seeing those teeth sink into Chad’s neck had Jamie struggling to hold himself back. He clenched his fists, but before he could really process it, Tanner let go, stepped back, and shifted.

  Jamie dove for his mate. “Chad?”

  Chad smiled at him and nodded. “Don’t feel anyth—” He cut himself off with a groan.

  Jamie looked up. “Miles?”

  “Let’s get him on the bed. Tanner, Finley? Get his legs. Jamie, his arms.”

  All four worked quickly, with Chad’s help, anchoring him to the bed.

  “Pup?” Jamie asked when he’d finished Chad’s right arm. “Are you there?”

  Chad nodded, but his face was pale and sweat beaded on his forehead. “Fine. Feeling a bit… odd.”

  The absurdity of that brought a giggle from Jamie. He grabbed the washcloth Finley held out to him and wiped Chad’s forehead. “Just hang in there, pup. Soon, you’ll really be a pup, and it’ll be great. We’ll run together and hunt together, right?”

  Chad nodded again, but then his face twisted.

  “Miles?” Jamie fought hard to hold on to his panic. Chad did not need to feel that. He took a deep breath and looked at Miles.

  “Already working on it,” he said, pushing a needle into the tap. He pressed the plunger down, and within seconds Chad relaxed.

  “There, not so bad,” Chad said, though it came out strained.

  “Right,” Jamie agreed.

  Chad tried a smile, but it didn’t stay. “Maybe you shouldn’t—”

  “Don’t even, Chad Michael Sutton,” Jamie growled.

  Chad snorted. “Yes, sir.”

  “That’s better, pup.”

  “Oh, uh, Jamie?” Miles said, getting Jamie’s attention. “His ring.”

  Jamie swallowed but reached over and took it off.

  “Don’t think it’ll cause problems, but….”

  Jamie looked over at Finley. “Do you have a chain I could borrow?”

  Finley nodded. “Be right back.”

  Jamie turned back to Chad. “Don’t be noble. If Miles can help, let him, okay?”

  “Not feeling particularly noble, actually,” Chad said haltingly.

  “Good.” Jamie took the chain Finley handed him and put Chad’s ring on it, then hung it around his neck and tucked it into his shirt. “Don’t want it to break,” he muttered, and Chad nodded. His breathing got rougher and Jamie frowned. “That was fast. Why is it wearing off so fast?”

  “We are, essentially, rewriting his DNA. His physiology is changing at an incredible rate. I’m afraid to give him too much, though.”

  Jamie nodded. “I’m sorry, pup.”

  “Hey, knew it was a possibil—fuck!” Chad panted, gritting his teeth.

  Jamie struggled to keep calm, knowing that’s what Chad needed, but the ghost of Chad’s pain still reached him across their bond. He was sure Chad was trying to hold back, but that only told Jamie how bad it really was if it was still getting through. He closed his eyes. “Diana, our Divine Goddess, hear my prayer. Your aid is needed, your blessings sought.”

  Tanner’s, Finley’s, and Miles’s voices joined him and it gave Jamie strength to continue.

  “See us safely through the trial ahead. Lend us your strength, your wisdom, and your fortitude.” He took a deep breath. “We honor you, our Goddess Divine.” He opened his eyes, and Chad seemed to calm almost immediately. Jamie felt the calm in himself and projected it to his mate through their link. “Thank you, Diana,” he murmured, and heard four echoing around him.

  “I suspect he’ll have good and bad moments, even with Diana’s aid,” Miles said. “Tanner, Finley, you don’t have to stay.”

  “I’m not going anywhere,” Finley said, pulling a chair close, then sitting. “Babe, maybe you could let your dad know?”

  Tanner nodded, kissed Finley on the temple, and left.

  “Now… we wait,” Miles said, pulling up another chair.

  BY THE time the sun had gone down, Jamie was wishing desperately that painkillers worked on wolf shifters. Chad had stopped being coherent a couple of hours before, and in the process, whatever filter he’d been using to hide his pain from Jamie was gone. He was now feeling it as well. Not nearly to the extent Chad was, and it was all mental, but it still hurt, as much because he hated that Chad was going through it as anything. Jamie prayed hard to every possible deity that could help, paced the room, and did everything he could to send calm and love back to Chad.

  Jamie turned away from the windows to start back across his old room. He glanced as he always did at his mate—and stopped dead. Chad had fangs. Canines! “Miles!”

  Miles sat bolt upright, rubbing his face. He shook his head hard—reminding Jamie of a dog—then checked Chad. “Oh! That’s a good sign.”

  As they watched, Chad’s teeth retracted. “Is… what happened?” Jamie asked, more than a little afraid it was going wrong. “I don’t remember reading that.”

  “Sorry, I should have said something. It was there, but more a side note. Different aspects would shift, then shift back a number of times as the process worked. His eyes will change, then go back, his teeth will drop, then go back, and so on. There are two milestones we’re watching for: the strain of pain to ease—that tells us the main part of the DNA rewrite is over—and a full shift. Once he shifts fully, the process is complete. Then you’ll have to coax him back into his human skin.” Miles leaned forward, opened Chad’s eye, and peered in. They’d turned black. It looked… odd… on his mate where he’d gotten used to Chad’s brown.

  Jamie rubbed his palms on his jeans and sat next to Chad. “Is there anything on time? How long this should take? When we read them, it seemed like there was such a range, I couldn’t really figure it out.”

  Miles sighed. “I had trouble with that too. Average seemed to be about two days, but with Chad’s wolf blood, that should be much less. I just don’t know how much.” He paused to check his watch. “It’s only been about ten hours. I wouldn’t expect anything for another fourteen or so.”

  Jamie nodded. “That makes sense. I wish there was something we could give him.” He frowned.

  “I could give him another dose of painkiller, but it won’t last any longer than the last one did.” Miles sighed. “You ought to consider getting some rest, Jamie. You’re going to need it.”

  Jamie sighed and shook his head. “I couldn’t right now.”

  “I can understand, at least to a point. Do you want me to give you something to calm down?”

  Jamie frowned as he thought but shook his head again. “No, it’s okay. I want to be awake if… if… well, you know.”

  “I do.” Miles patted him on the shoulder. “He’ll be fine, though. I’m sure of it. How about some coffee, then?”

  “Oh gods, yes.”

  Miles laughed, and he and Finley left.

  Jamie sat, staring at Chad as he panted, tensing, undoubtedly at the pain. A spike of it came through their bond, and Jamie winced. Chad’s eyes were closed, but Jamie didn’t know if he was awake and aware or not. “Hey, pup, I’m here.” He took Chad’s hand. “Be okay, pup. You gotta make it through this. I can’t give you up. Diana’s watching out for us, okay?” He bent over Chad and kissed his forehead, then sat back again. With a sigh, he glanced out the window, then to the clock on the bedside table that mocked him with a glowing eight.

  JAMIE WOULD not panic. He refused. But he wanted to. Badly. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from the stethoscope or blood pressure cuff. His heart pounded at the expression on Miles’s face as he watched the gauge. And the frown when Miles checked the thermometer twisted his st
omach.

  It didn’t help that the bond had weakened over the last twelve hours and Jamie was having real trouble feeling Chad. It was still there—faint, but there—which was the only thing keeping him from losing his shit completely. He hovered uselessly at the opposite side of the bed from Miles, trying desperately to hold on to his sanity.

  The last twelve hours had been exhausting. Chad’s claws, teeth, wolf eyes, and fur had all made several appearances, then disappeared again just as quickly as they’d shown up. The pain had come in waves, sharp then dull, sometimes so bad Jamie thought his head was going to split open.

  He stared at Chad’s face, the pale skin and stress lines around Chad’s eyes almost a physical pain in himself. He shouldn’t have done this, shouldn’t have let Chad do it. If he’d truly told Chad he didn’t want it, he didn’t think Chad would have insisted.

  But he hadn’t. He hadn’t pushed. He’d gone along with it and now… now he could lose his mate.

  He swallowed, closing his eyes and saying the thousandth prayer to Diana since this whole thing started. Halfway through his request, the weak connection to Chad seemed to disappear entirely.

  Jamie’s eyes flew open and he was pretty sure his heart stopped. “M-M-Miles?”

  But Miles was already feeling Chad’s pulse. He snatched up the portable defibrillator he’d brought along.

  Jamie couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t take air in, couldn’t seem to find oxygen at all. It wasn’t until he felt a hand on his shoulder that he sucked in a breath.

  “No. No, no, no, no, no. No, oh, Diana, no…!” Jamie shook his head, reaching out for Chad.

  But before Miles could even pull the paddles out, Chad’s back arched, he sucked in a great breath, then a few seconds behind that, Jamie was looking at the most beautiful brown wolf he’d ever seen.

  Who was growling his direction. Confusion and jealousy blasted him through their link, and it was only the jealousy that made him understand.

  “He doesn’t recognize you, Fin,” Jamie said. “You have to back up.”

  Finley dropped his hand, and Jamie heard the quick steps across the floor. As soon as Chad stopped growling, Jamie threw himself at his mate and the emotions he’d been holding on so carefully to broke free. He wrapped his arms around Chad’s neck, buried his face in Chad’s fur, and lost it.

  Chapter 18

  MATE HURT. His mind was foggy and that was the only thing he could seem to focus on. Mate hurt. He whined, not understanding what was wrong. He felt… relief… and love, but not hurt. But Mate was crying.

  He tried to rub his face on his mate, but he couldn’t move enough. He whined again, a little louder this time. His mate sat back, and he tilted his head. Hurt? He gave another whine, trying to ask what was wrong. When his mate didn’t do anything, he licked his mate’s face clean of the tears, still whining as he did so.

  “Hey, hey. It’s okay. I’m okay. I’m sorry. I was so worried.”

  He blinked at his mate and tilted his head again.

  “Yeah. I thought I was going to lose you. I’m just so glad you’re okay. You need to shift back now, though.”

  He tilted his head the other way. Shift?

  “Yes. You need to take your human form now, pup. I know you’re in there. I see it in your eyes.” Mate frowned. “Imagine pulling your wolf back physically. Imagine the human stepping in front of the wolf.”

  He tried to do that, but he didn’t quite understand. He shook his head, and Mate frowned.

  “Pup, you have to do this. You can, I know you can. You’re not just wolf, you’re human too. You’re in there, my Chad is in there.”

  Chad. A bit more fog cleared, and Chad blinked again, looking up at Jamie. He gave an inquisitive whine.

  “See? I knew you were in there. Okay, come on, pup, pull your wolf back and bring your human forward.” Jamie ran a hand over Chad’s fur.

  Chad focused, imagined his human side, but the wolf side growled. Chad tried to calm it, tried to soothe, but his wolf wasn’t listening. He whined at Jamie.

  Jamie bit his lip, then looked up. “He’s not shifting. Why can’t he shift?”

  Chad looked over to see Miles standing there. He fought the instinctive urge to growl at the man near his mate and was happy when he managed to curb it.

  Miles shook his head. “I don’t know. Chad? Keep trying. It’s important you shift back. You’ve got to get control of your wolf.”

  Chad looked back at Jamie, then tried, again, to imagine physically pulling his wolf back. It was strong, though, stronger than Chad expected, and he couldn’t do it. He dropped down onto his stomach and whined. He wondered briefly if this was how Jamie felt when he’d been stuck.

  That moment of clarity didn’t sit well with his wolf. The image that popped into his head was of him throwing the stick Jamie chased after. Him, in human form. His wolf growled harder, and Chad backed off.

  “Chad, come on, you have to shift,” Jamie said, his voice matching the fear coming across the link. Chad whined. Jamie looked over his shoulder. “Fin? Ask Tanner if Noah could come?”

  Finley nodded and hurried out of the room.

  Jamie turned back. “Pup, if you don’t shift soon, you might not be able to at all. Come on. Keep trying.”

  Yet again Chad nudged his wolf, and yet again his wolf growled back. The worry and fear coming over the mate bond was not helping either. Chad whined, shaking his head, trying anything he could think of to loosen his wolf’s hold on him.

  He didn’t know how long he struggled with it—time didn’t seem to have any kind of real meaning to him—but sometime later, Noah came into the room.

  “Hey there, pup, aren’t you a strong wolf?” Noah asked.

  Chad whined. He had the strongest urge to roll over and show his belly.

  “I know. I know. Listen to me, now, Chad. I need you to shift.”

  There was power behind the command that Chad’s wolf didn’t like. It fought harder against letting go. Chad looked up at Noah and shook his head again.

  “Chad. Shift.”

  The power was stronger this time. It seemed that only made his wolf want to hold on more.

  Chad looked up to see Noah taking his shirt off. Before long, he was naked, and a few seconds behind that, Chad faced an enormous wolf. Chad rolled over.

  Noah advanced, and Chad’s wolf cringed.

  Without even meaning to, Chad tilted his head, showing his neck.

  Noah put his teeth around it gently, held for a moment, then backed off. He shifted back and squatted in front of Chad. “Now. Shift.”

  Yet again the power behind the command made him want to, but only seemed to piss off his wolf. Chad whined again.

  “I don’t think his wolf recognizes me as his alpha yet,” Noah said, shaking his head. “Chad does, but until the wolf relinquishes enough control for Chad’s human will to take over, I can’t do anything.”

  “What happens if we can’t get him to shift?” Finley asked.

  Miles frowned. “If he doesn’t soon, he may not ever be able to.”

  Fear that wasn’t his own spiked through the bond, and Chad turned to his mate. He nudged Jamie’s hand, and Jamie wrapped his arms around Chad. He tried to send calm back, but he didn’t think he succeeded. His wolf wasn’t letting him have that much control.

  “Pup, you have to keep trying. Come on. You have to come back and sing all those eighties songs to me. We have more John Hughes movies to watch.”

  Chad licked at the tears on Jamie’s face, whining at his inability to do anything about them.

  “Hey, maybe you just need to lick your balls first,” Jamie suggested with a watery laugh.

  Chad managed to chuff. He curled over and did so, but he realized two things. One, Jamie had been right. While it was cool to be able to do, it didn’t feel nearly as good as when Jamie licked them for him. And two… it wasn’t going to help. He had some control, but it was still too limited.

  He lay down and put his head on his
paws, looking up at his mate.

  Jamie frowned at him, and the worry and fear nearly did him in.

  Jamie started singing, and it took Chad a moment to realize what the song was. Had it really been only a couple of weeks ago that they sang along to that on the plane to London? He wanted to be able to tell Jamie there was no way he’d forget about his mate. No way he’d let this be it.

  But Jamie had no way of understanding. Chad’s own panic started to form when he saw Jamie take off his wedding ring. He whined, loudly this time.

  “Shh. Shh. It’s okay, pup. Hang on.”

  Chad fought against the panic, and a moment later, he was rewarded when his mate stood on four paws next to the bed. Jamie jumped up and licked his face. He nuzzled Chad, who returned it, feeling better somehow that his mate was the same form he was. Jamie curled up next to him, and Chad wrapped around him.

  He inhaled the amazing scent that greeted him and realized it was Jamie’s—the mate scent that called to him. Spicy and sweet and…. Chad would have laughed if he was human. Coffee. He did chuff, then laid his head on Jamie’s back. He relaxed, giving up the struggle for the moment. On the heels of that, he fell asleep.

  “OH MY gods, Tanner, isn’t that adorable?”

  Chad opened his eyes and yawned, looking up at the man standing in the doorway.

  Finley grinned at him and Tanner shook his head. “I’m not sure the big bad wolf there would appreciate being called ‘adorable.’”

  Chad chuffed, but he was annoyed to find himself still in wolf form. He stretched, then shook. When Finley chuckled, he stuck his tongue out.

  Finley laughed. “It’s good to know we’re all subject to dog reactions.”

  Tanner elbowed him. “Don’t pick. He’s still learning.”

  Chad stuck his tongue out at them again, earning himself laughter. He sniffed, and the scent that greeted him confused him. He peered at them, then sniffed again. Their scent was the same. No, not the same, he realized when he sniffed again. But close.

  Mated. His wolf provided the answer.

  That made sense. Chad wondered if he and Jamie smelled similar to each other, but guessed that, since they hadn’t claimed each other, they didn’t yet. He pushed it off to think about later and turned to his mate. He nudged Jamie, licking his face.