How Long Is Forever?

by Erin M. Leaf

  “God,” he burst out, breathing faster as she clutched at him. “I don’t want to hurt you.” He let her slide down his body.

  Eva swayed into him, still drunk on his heat. “You’re not going to hurt me. No man so wary of letting himself feel something, anything, could ever hurt me. And if you do?” She shrugged. “So what? What’s the worst that could happen?” she asked, knowing even as she said the words that she’d be devastated if he walked away. But I don’t care, she thought recklessly, grabbing onto this opportunity with both hands.

  “Sweetheart,” he whispered. “You don’t know what you’re asking for.”

  “You’re worth the risk to me, Charlie,” Eva replied. She boldly wound a leg around his calf. “Am I worth the risk to you? Are you willing to stop being afraid?” She leaned back so she could look into his face. He’s second guessing himself, she thought hopefully, reading the uncertainty in his expression. Good. I want him off balance. Right?

  Charlie frowned. “Fear is relative.”

  Eva huffed. “I’m not sure I could forgive you if you say no again, Charlie. Sure, I’ll survive, because I have at least a little self-respect, but I won’t be able to see you for a long time without crying.”

  “Eva—”

  She cut him off. “You realize that, right? You won’t be able to just come back and pretend that it never happened. I’m willing to try, Charlie, but there are consequences if you walk away.” She thought of her miserable weekend. If he left her again, it would be a thousand times worse. She knew some people would say that she was moving things too fast, but she firmly believed that when you knew, you knew. And I’ve known Charlie was the one for me for years now, she reminded herself.

  He leaned his forehead on hers. “I’m out of my comfort zone here. I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m afraid your dad wouldn’t approve of this.”

  “You know my father wasn’t like that. He would be happy we found each other.” Eva frowned at him. “You’ll hurt me more if you walk away from me again, Charlie. Think about that.” Her frustration with him gave her strength. If he didn’t give in soon, she was going to smack him.

  Charlie slid his arms around her and held her tight. “If we do this, it’s not going to be a one-time thing. I can’t do a hookup with you, Eva.” He rolled his hips.

  God, she thought as her heart pounded. His body felt hard as hell and twice as hot. He thinks that’s a bad thing? Eva shuddered. “You told my uncle you were my boyfriend. What if he didn’t believe you? What if he comes back?” she asked him, playing her last card. If jealousy didn’t work, then she didn’t know what would.

  Charlie growled and swept her up into his arms. “That’s it. That just pushed me over the edge.”

  Eva gasped, clutching at his shoulders. “Charlie! Are you crazy?” What if he dropped her? She wasn’t some tiny little model. Her face burned as she thought of all the ice cream she’d stuffed herself with the past few days. “I’m too heavy.”

  He ignored her protests as he strode up to the deck. “Don’t be ridiculous. In case you haven’t noticed, I’m twice your size, Eva. You’re not fat. You’re not too tall, and you’re not too heavy for me. Except for being an infant, you’re perfect,” he said, almost biting out the words.

  “I’m not an infant, I’m a grown woman,” Eva protested breathlessly.

  “You’re a gorgeous infant, and I can’t seem to keep my hands off of you,” Charlie said. “If your idiot uncle comes back looking for trouble, he’ll find me here, ready to smash his face in. I’m almost hoping he does come back. It’ll give me something to vent my frustration on.” He headed towards the back door of the house. “And what the hell is this scrap of nothing that you’re wearing?” He flicked a thumb over her halter strap.

  Eva bit her lip as she flushed. In his arms, she felt tiny, despite the fact that she knew she was anything but small. “It’s an old halter. It’s comfy.” And it suddenly felt way too small. Her nipples pebbled into hard points against the soft cloth, and she knew he could see them.

  “It’s making me crazy,” he said, kicking open the back door. “It barely covers you. I can see your nipples.” He swept through the kitchen to the hall, and then to her room. “I want to tear it off with my fucking teeth.” He tossed her on her bed.

  Oh, my God. This is Charlie unleashed? This is even better than I’d hoped. Eva landed on her back, skin tingling. He wants to rip my clothes off. Yay, she thought, trying on the idea for size. She found that she liked it. She liked it very much. She eyed him as he stood over her, all wild eyes and disheveled hair. If this old halter did that to him, she’d definitely have to buy more. Maybe in a smaller size, she thought, grinning at him. “I don’t think gnawing through fabric is good for your teeth,” she said, just to tease a rise out of him.

  He didn’t disappoint her. “Fuck my teeth, Eva,” he said, coming down on top of her. He straddled her body, trapping her legs, then ran his fingertips along her shoulders and down her arms as she squirmed. “This is your last chance.”

  Oh, good. Eva licked her lips. “Last chance for what?”

  “To think about what you’re asking. Once I make love to you, nothing will ever be the same between us,” Charlie said, voice dropping again into his low register. “You won’t be the same. I’ll be your first man, no matter what happens between us in the future.”

  Eva shivered. Is that a threat? If so, it failed. Miserably. She looked up at him. The bulge in his jeans was intimidating, but the look in his eyes was everything she’d ever wanted: heat and love and need all wrapped up into one. He thought he couldn’t care for her the right way, but his feelings were there on his face, and she’d known him long enough to read him.

  “Charlie,” she said, feeling like there wasn’t enough air in the room. Hell, there wasn’t enough air on the planet. “I’ve wanted you since I was fourteen. I’m not going to change my mind now.” She looked away, suddenly uncertain. Years of being called too fat and too tall weren’t so easy to dismiss, after all. She bit her lip. “But no one has ever wanted me. I understand if you truly aren’t attracted to me. I don’t want to push you into it.” She squeezed her eyes shut, mentally kicking herself. Why hadn’t she considered that before she all but threw herself at him? Again?

  “Eva, Jesus. For the last time, you’re not fat. You’re not too tall. You’re fucking perfect, and those other boys don’t have a clue what to do with you, because they are boys,” Charlie said, a hint of anger in his voice. “I’m not. I’m a grown man, and I know what the hell I’m doing.” He shook her gently. “Do I look like I don’t want you? Open your eyes and look at me.”

  Her eyes flew open. He was undoing his jeans. Oh my God, she thought, breathless all over again. She couldn’t tear her gaze away from his fingers.

  “This is me desperate to have you, Eva,” Charlie said. He’d got the zipper down, and he cupped his erection where it bulged out against the soft fabric of his underwear. “I jacked off at home an hour ago, because I knew I’d be coming here, and I knew the moment I saw you I’d be like this.” He wrapped a hand around his cock. Pre-cum wet a spot on the fabric. “It didn’t help me one bit.” He stroked himself through his boxers. “This is what you do to me. This is how crazy you make me.”

  Eva’s mouth went dry. She’d never heard a man talk like this. She’d never heard Charlie talk like this. She had no idea what to do with her hands. “Oh.” Her face burned as she thought about him masturbating to thoughts of her. Talk about a head rush.

  He smiled, slow and sure, and Eva could tell he’d finally committed to giving into this thing between them. “I’m hard for you. I want to put my cock in your pussy, Eva. I want to fuck you until we both forget how to speak. Do you still think I give a shit how heavy you think you are? How tall you are?” He took off his shirt and tossed it aside, muscles flexing. “You’re fucking perfect for me. All my life I’ve been too big. Women like big guys only until the clothes come off, and then they freak out.”


  Eva’s gaze landed on the thick muscles of his chest. “I’m not freaking out,” she whispered. If she was perfect for him, he was perfect for her. Somehow, she’d always known it would be like this. Is this why I sucked at dating? Maybe I’ve been waiting for Charlie all along.

  “I know.” Charlie’s grin told her he knew exactly what she was feeling, and it was as far from freaking out as the moon was from the sun.

  Eva lifted her hands and ran her fingers through the sprinkling of hair along his pectorals. She lingered over his tattoo, the small bird in flight just at the tip of her finger. She’d always loved his ink, and now that she got to see it up close… I thought I was aroused before, but I had no idea, she thought, mind racing in a thousand directions. She wanted to touch him, and she wanted him to touch her, and she didn’t know if those two things were simultaneously possible. She couldn’t forget that her very first kiss had been with Charlie only a few days ago. Now, he was half naked. What the hell did she know about pleasing a man?

  “You ready?” Charlie asked.

  “I’ve been ready,” Eva told him boldly, pushing aside her doubts.

  Charlie leaned down, kissing her lightly, and then bit her lower lip until it stung. “No turning back now,” he murmured, hands on her hips. “God, you feel good.” He stretched out over her, heavy and solid.

  Eva writhed beneath him. She loved the weight of him. For the first time in her life, she felt petite. “More. Please, Charlie.”

  “More? You’ll get more.” Charlie slid a hand under her halter top and tweaked her nipple. “God, this halter is tiny.” He leaned back up and took the fabric in both hands. “I hope you don’t mind if I tear it off of you.”

  Before Eva could say a word, he clenched his muscles and tore the fabric in two. Heat shot through her as her breasts spilled loose. “Oh my God,” she gasped.

  Charlie smiled. “Do you trust me?”

  Eva stared at him. She did. Of course she did. She trusted him with her life. Now she was trusting him with her heart. “I do.”

  Charlie’s eyes flared dark. “Then let me make you feel everything.”

  Chapter Seven

  Charlie trailed his fingers down her beautiful, silky skin, wondering what the hell he thought he was doing. He’d stepped over the line, and then instead of venturing forward cautiously, he’d obliterated the trail and pushed his way deep into the wilds. Eva stared up at him with wide, innocent eyes, and he could barely keep his hands from trembling. He tried to remind himself that this was her first time, but the thought only made him crazier. He squeezed his cock until it hurt. And then he squeezed her, desperate to sink into her soft heat.

  “I’m going to love you until you can’t think, sweetheart. Until you can’t breathe,” he said, cupping her pert, young breasts.

  She sucked in a shocked gasp when he rolled her delicious little nipples between his fingers. He didn’t pinch them … yet. He was saving that for later, for when his cock was so deep inside her she could taste his hunger. “Beautiful,” he breathed, smoothing his palms down her torso to her waist. Eva was so tiny compared to him—he couldn’t believe she thought she was too big. She wasn’t skinny, thank God, and she had muscle under that gorgeous, sweet skin, so as far as he was concerned, she was literally the perfect woman for him. For the first time in his life, he didn’t feel like he was going to break the woman in bed with him.

  “Don’t stop,” she said, voice soft. Bashful.

  Charlie smiled at her as he deliberately tucked his fingers into the waistband of her shorts. “I know what you want,” he said, letting his voice drop into its lower register.

  Eva shivered.

  Charlie slid his fingers in further, swallowing at the heat rising from her skin. His cock ached, but he held himself ruthlessly in check. She asked him to show her what sex was like, and he’d be damned if he’d rut into her like some idiot boy. She was going to beg him for it. He needed her to feel just as insane as he did. He couldn’t deny his need for her anymore, as uncomfortable as he was with it. He was a grown man, and she was barely a woman, and fuck him if that didn’t make him want her even more.

  “These are in the way,” he said, undoing the button and sliding down the zipper. He pushed his guilt aside as her belly quivered under his touch. “Can I take them off?”

  “Of course,” Eva said, but had to stop and clear her throat to continue. “Yes.”

  Here we go. Charlie drew her shorts off her body, closing his eyes as the sweet, musky smell of her arousal hit his nose. She was so wet her panties were damp. He slid down the bed and nuzzled into her groin, inhaling deeply. Fuck, she was so freaking perfect for him. He gripped her hips with his fingers as he fought with his libido. Self-control won, but only barely.

  “Oh my God, what are you doing? Charlie?” Eva tried to push him away, but he caught her wrists, holding her gently but firmly.

  “I’ll stop if you want me to,” he said, voice fucking shaking, damn it to hell. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

  “I was just lying out in the sun. I’m all sweaty and stinky,” she protested, trying to squirm away. All she succeeded in doing was wrapping her legs around his shoulders.

  And that’s precisely where I want them, Charlie thought, nuzzling her mound again. “That explains why you smell so fucking good,” he said, looking at the outline of her clit pressing against her underwear. He took a deep breath and then blew it out against the fabric, heating her up even more. “I want to eat you up.”

  Eva cried out as the warmth of his breath hit her sensitive skin.

  “Do you want me to stop?” he asked, breathing on her again and then again. He was going to give her an orgasm with his mouth, and then he was going to give her another with his cock, and maybe a third with his fingers. “If you want me to stop, all you have to do is say the word.” He prayed she didn’t, but this was all new to her. He’d understand if she backed down. He wouldn’t exactly enjoy it, not with the state his body was in, but he’d understand. “Eva?”

  She shook her head as her legs tightened around his shoulders.

  “Words, Eva. I need words. I won’t do anything you don’t want me to do, but you have to say yes before I go ahead,” Charlie told her. He wanted her to feel in control. He wanted her to choose everything he wanted to do to her. He rolled his erection into the mattress, trying to get some relief. He’d never felt so wild in bed before.

  “Please,” Eva whispered, hands fisted in her comforter. Her curly hair lay in wild disarray along the comforter. Her cheeks flushed pink beneath tightly closed eyes.

  “Please, what?” Charlie asked softly, thumbs gently circling just outside her labia. The sound of her voice did crazy things to his heart. The scent of her body did crazy things to his cock. “Talk to me, sweetheart.”

  “Please, don’t stop,” Eva said, breathless.

  Charlie smiled. “I’m going to lick your clit until you orgasm, and then I’m going to feed my cock into you nice and slow until you feel so full you can’t move,” he said roughly, enjoying her little moans. He liked the way she reacted when he used explicit words. “Can I take these off?” He tucked his fingers under the elastic of her panties. He looked up the line of her body, enjoying her curves.

  She nodded.

  “Say please,” he told her. “Say it out loud.”

  “Oh, fuck,” she panted as he moved his fingers beneath the thin elastic.

  “Words, Eva,” Charlie reminded her, gritting his teeth. She smelled like fucking heaven. He couldn’t wait to put his mouth on her. Cream seeped from her sweet cunny, slicking his fingers, and he hadn’t even gotten her completely naked yet.

  “You can take them off,” she finally said, sounding like he’d wrung her out.

  Charlie snapped the elastic with a quick jerk, and then grinned at her shocked gasp. “I’ll buy you new ones,” he promised her. “I’ll buy you a thousand new pairs of panties.” And then without further ado, he licked her from her ass to her clit. Eva bucked
, and he wound his arms around her thighs to keep her in place. “Hang on, honey,” he said roughly. He waited until she’d wound her fingers into his hair, and then he settled down to play with her sweet bud until she exploded. He licked the tip of her clit, then gently closed his teeth on the hood and moved back and forth until her back bowed off the bed. “You like?” he asked, sliding his thumbs along her labia. She was nice and pink and slippery. She kept her hair trimmed short but not shaved, not that it mattered to him. He liked a woman with hair down there. “Eva?” He looked up to see her face, but her head was thrown back. “Talk to me, baby.”

  “Yes, oh my God, don’t fucking stop now, Charlie,” she said, voice desperate.

  Perfect. He smiled again and settled back down. “I’m going to put my fingers in you. I don’t want to hurt you, Eva, but it might feel tight.” He waited for her nod, and then he slowly eased one finger inside. “Okay?” He reminded himself that this was her first time. He had to be patient. He had to take his time. Torture, when all I want to do is ram myself into her sweet heat.

  “Yes,” she gasped, hips rising and trying to get him deeper. “It’s good, Charlie. So good.”

  Charlie licked her clit a few times, keeping her right on the edge. When he backed off, she protested, but he eased another finger inside. She was so tight, and so fucking sweet. He didn’t know how he was going to get his cock in there, but he’d manage. Somehow. He gritted his teeth, trying not to come all over her bed like a horny thirteen-year-old.

  “Feels so good,” Eva said, hands tightening in his hair now. She tugged, trying to get him to move his mouth back up to her clit. He obliged, sliding his fingers in and out. He sucked her bud back into his mouth, flicking it with his tongue while he slid another finger into her cunny. She writhed, moaning, and he grabbed her ass with his free hand, lifting her to his mouth. She cried out.

  And she worries about being too big? he thought, confused all over again by her insecurity. Eva’s ass was the perfect size to fill his hand, and she was sturdy enough that he didn’t have to worry about hurting her. He sucked her faster, fucking her with his fingers. She shivered, head thrashing as she squeezed his head with her thighs, and Charlie settled in to make her absolutely insane.