Healing the Captain's Heart: A Clean Regency Romance (Resolved In Love Book 2)

by Penny Fairbanks

  Violet sighed, her shoulders sinking slightly. Now that she sat with Mrs. Baird, she found she wanted to give voice to her distress.

  “You may think me awful for saying so, but I so hope this nasty storm will clear up before the morrow. My brother and the captain are supposed to leave and I do not wish for them to be delayed.”

  Mrs. Baird narrowed her eyes at Violet. Violet had not gone into detail with anyone about her meetings with her brother or how she now felt about him.

  “And why is that, may I ask?”

  “I just want to return to my normal life. I do believe my brother has changed. He seems like a very good man now. But I just cannot let go of my past. Our past. I would like to communicate with him but I do not know that I am ready to begin acting like a real family again.

  “This here is my life now and I cherish it. I’m too confused with this new layer to my life. I liked how things were, before Frank came back. Is that horribly selfish?” Violet’s voice trailed off as she hesitantly peered up into the housekeeper’s face, fearing the judgement she might see there.

  But all Violet saw was patience and understanding as Mrs. Baird looked back at her.

  “Of course not, dear. You’ve worked hard to become the woman you are today. Nothing and no one will change that. I’m glad you have opened yourself up to your brother, but that does not mean you need to act as though nothing happened. The scars left behind from your past are great and they will not disappear immediately. You’ve made the life you want and it is natural for you to wish to hold on to it. Take your time coming to terms with all this.”

  A tear pricked at the corner of Violet’s eye at Mrs. Baird’s kind words. Violet smiled appreciatively, feeling a calm wash over her as she stared into the housekeeper’s warm brown eyes.

  “Thank you, Mrs. Baird. I will do my best.”

  “I know you will, Violet. You always do.” Mrs. Baird wrapped an arm around Violet’s shoulders. Violet allowed herself to sink into the sweet motherly touch for a moment before squeezing Mrs. Baird’s hand and standing up from her chair.

  “I’m feeling much better now. At least well enough to tackle the mending.” Violet smiled again as she made her way to the cupboard. But upon opening the door she found that her mending was missing. She realized she must have left it in her chamber upstairs, where she often worked by candlelight before going to sleep.

  After assuring Mrs. Baird that she would be back shortly with her materials, Violet quickly made her way upstairs. While she did feel better after Mrs. Baird’s inspiring words, she did not want to give herself any more time to slip back into her anxious thoughts.

  As she walked past the drawing room to reach the next flight of stairs, a rapid movement caught Violet’s eye beyond the door. She stopped a few steps down the hall, her curiosity surpassing her need for distraction. She only wanted to confirm if what she saw from the corner of her eye was correct.

  With quiet careful steps, Violet returned to the drawing room door and peered inside, careful to keep herself hidden. She was indeed correct. Captain Jessup, the sole occupant of the room, paced up and down the far wall, glancing many times to the large window. His brow was furrowed, the corners of his mouth turned down in a deep frown, and his broad shoulders hunched forward slightly. He looked to be in deep concentration. Or deep worry.

  Now that she had her answer, Violet turned back to the hallway to continue her mission. But a squeeze in her chest told her that she could not go just yet. Biting her lip, Violet returned to the doorway and stepped inside.

  Entirely engrossed in his thoughts, Captain Jessup failed to notice Violet enter the room. “Captain, is there any way I can assist you?” Violet kept her voice quiet and gentle so as not to startle the man, but he jumped anyway at the sound of her voice, stopping so quickly in his tracks that he nearly lost his balance.

  “Miss Davies. Good afternoon,” he mumbled, taking a moment to gather his bearings and pull his coat straighter.

  Violet struggled to keep her face neutral and professional. But the captain made it difficult when he appeared so endearingly flustered, such an unusual look compared to his typical confidence. Violet reminded herself that he must be surprised at having his private moment interrupted by a servant and the smile she fought quickly slipped away.

  “Is there any way I can assist you, Captain Jessup?” Violet repeated her question, her voice hitching just slightly. She ardently hoped that the man hadn’t noticed it.

  “If you could put an end to this cursed storm that would be a good place to start.” He chuckled nervously, his hand brushing a fallen lock of light brown hair away from his forehead.

  Violet’s feet moved of their own volition, carrying her further into the room, closer to the captain.

  “Unfortunately, I believe influence over the weather falls outside the abilities of a lady’s maid. But I am quite capable of fetching tea,” Violet offered with a quiet chuckle. A sudden shyness stole over her as the captain’s expression brightened.

  “Perhaps some company for a moment or two will suffice—if you have a moment or two to spare?” He lifted an eyebrow curiously and Violet hated the way her heart jumped at the look, and the way her heart sank the very next moment as she remembered that the captain was supposed to leave tomorrow with her brother.

  Violet nodded and joined him by the window, looking out at the vast white expanse she could barely see between the angry flurries of snow falling hard and fast.

  “You must be anxious to be on your way. I know your time here can’t have been terribly interesting since the primary quest has more to do with Frank than yourself.” She kept her voice light and conversational but a tingle ran down her spine as she felt the captain’s body tense next to her.

  “My time has been quite enjoyable, as a matter of fact. Everyone I've had the pleasure of meeting in this house has been very kind.” He gave a half smile as he looked down at Violet from the corner of his eye. “It is just as I said the other day. I hate winter.”

  “Is it because of the winters you spent out of doors and exposed to the elements during the war?”

  The question slipped out before Violet could stop herself. A fierce blush spread over Violet’s cheek at the imprudent question and she was immensely glad that they both faced the window so that the captain might not see.

  Yet beneath the initial embarrassment at being so forward, Violet realized that she did not wholly regret the question. Her opportunities for learning more about Captain Jessup rapidly dwindled and she did wish to learn more before he left her life, most likely forever.

  But the guilt and embarrassment quickly returned in full force when the captain coughed, turning the uncomfortable sound into an awkward laugh. “As I said previously, I am simply an energetic man. I enjoy the outside world—riding my horse, driving a carriage, walking, hunting, landing myself in precarious situations. I feel trapped if I cannot be out and about.”

  Violet swallowed the lump in her throat as Captain Jessup made his answer. She knew immediately from his hesitation, from the stilted casual tone in his voice, that she had hit upon the real reason for his intense dislike of the season.

  Now Violet did regret the question. She must have brought up distressing and painful memories for him. The man made every effort to live his life with cheer and positivity despite his hardships—at least on the outside. And Violet had prodded too deeply, too closely to a subject that was meant only to be shared on his own terms.

  “I fear I must be going now,” Violet muttered weakly, feeling every bit the coward as she quickly left Captain Jessup to return to his fretting and his unhappy memories.

  “Thank goodness,” Violet whispered to herself as she looked out the small window of her bedchamber. She was still not used to having her chambers situated in the house proper rather than in the attic with the other female servants, but her mistress wished for her to be as nearby as possible. Every view outside her window, the window that belonged only to her, was a miracle.
But this view was a particular miracle.

  The wide sky swirled with light pink and orange wisps as the sun climbed higher, the snow beneath glistening as it spread over the entire landscape.

  A wave of relief washed over Violet and she felt as though a weight had been lifted off her. Snow still covered the ground but the sun shone strong and bright. The roads would likely be cleared up for normal travel to resume. Surely Frank and Captain Jessup would leave as planned.

  And especially after her embarrassing encounter with the captain yesterday, Violet could hardly wait for the appointed hour.

  In the meantime, Violet readied herself for the day and went to Lady Neil’s room to ready her mistress. Her duties would keep her occupied until the men announced they were ready to leave.

  Unfortunately, it seemed Lady Neil was not so willing to allow the subject to slip into the background.

  After Lord Neil left his wife’s side with a loving kiss on the cheek and a pat on her belly, Lady Neil fixed Violet with a pointed stare. She still sat on the bed in her nightgown, leaning back on one hand while the other cradled the bottom of her stomach as if to hold it up.

  Violet sensed her look and hurried over to help the baroness up and make their way to the dressing room. She gripped Lady Neil’s arm and slowly pulled her to her feet until she had her balance.

  “Let’s get you dressed, my lady. I just finished more alterations yesterday so this morning dress should fit you just right,” said Violet cheerily, doing her best to ignore the way her mistress stared at her.

  But Lady Neil did not move. She remained in her spot, continuing to watch her maid.

  “Are you well, my lady? Shall we sit you back down?” Violet did not like Lady Neil’s unusual behavior. The staring, the silence, the stillness—it unsettled her. And with the lady being so near her time, Violet scrutinized every action and expression for signs of distress or illness or some other affliction that could harm her mistress and the baby.

  “Are you sure?” Was all Lady Neil said in response, a surprising firmness in the question. Her eyes searched Violet’s face but for what Violet had not a clue.

  “I’m afraid I don’t understand your meaning, my lady.”

  “Are you sure you’re alright with this? Your brother leaving, I mean,” she clarified, a soft concern in her voice.

  Violet clenched her jaw and looked down at her hands. Why must Lady Neil ask her this when she was so close to finally putting this strange chapter behind her?

  “Yes, my lady. Quite sure. Positive, in fact.” Violet met her mistress’s eyes again and hoped the baroness did not see any of Violet’s misgivings there. She felt as though her smile wavered upon her face as she tried to look as certain as she claimed.

  In truth, Violet had second guessed her decision many times over the course of Frank’s stay at Gatherford Park. One moment she was certain she wanted him gone somewhere far where she only had to think of him on the occasion of writing a letter. But the very next moment she felt it cruel to send him away after all his effort to improve himself and make amends to her.

  And of course there was his dashing companion to toil over as well. The longer Frank stayed, the longer Captain Jessup would likely also stay. The two men clearly shared a deep bond, deep enough to convince the captain to come along on a mission that did not concern him in the least if only to support his friend.

  But Violet had said so many times now, to herself at least, that she needed Frank to go so she could return to business as usual, so she could live the life she’d fought so hard for without distraction and constant reminders of her traumatic childhood. So she could be safe.

  “I understand your decision.” Lady Neil offered her arm to Violet and they walked through to the spacious dressing room, where Violet had already laid out her morning dress and prepared the vanity. “I just want you to be sure you are making the decision that is truly right for you.”

  Violet sat Lady Neil in a nearby chair and rushed over to the dress, assessing its drapes and seams, especially in the areas she’d let out. She wished to be rid of this topic of conversation as quickly as possible, but if Lady Neil wished to discuss it then discuss it she must.

  “I think it is right for now, my lady. I plan to correspond with him and perhaps visit from time to time. But I think it’s best if I resume my normal habits.”

  As Violet turned around to begin readying her mistress for the dress, Lady Neil gave her a cautious look. Violet smiled again, hoping to assure her that all was well.

  “Very well. The storm let up last night and everything is calm now so they are preparing to leave in the early afternoon. They’ll be in the next county by nightfall. You must join us for lunch before we send them off. Did you have a pleasant time with Lieutenant Davies and Captain Jessup?”

  “I must admit I was not terribly optimistic at the start. In fact, I rather dreaded the idea of having one of my brothers back in my life. I feared he might try to abuse me again or try to get something from me. But...Frank has changed. I do not believe him to be disingenuous in his words and actions since he’s been here. But it is not so easy to let go of my memories. I just wish to live my quiet, simple life here with you and Lord Neil,” Violet explained as she began buttoning Lady Neil’s dress.

  “He does seem to be a kind man, if a little boisterous at times. But I think his amiable nature can excuse it,” Lady Neil chuckled. “Did the lieutenant have any news to relate of your other brothers?”

  “It seems he’s lost all contact with Sam and Charlie as well since our family fell into destitution. They likely went their separate ways but I would not be surprised if they ended up the same as our father. Frank was always the lesser of those three evils. My brothers, I mean. My father was an evil all his own.”

  Violet frowned as she recalled her two eldest brothers. Frank had emphasized that he often followed in the footsteps of Sam and Charlie, though he did not claim this as an excuse for his mistreatment and neglect.

  And looking back on her memories, Violet seemed able to confirm this for herself. She had seen Frank more often than the other two and he did not constantly berate and belittle her or lock her away in dark rooms on the occasions they did see each other as Sam and Charlie had done.

  “But what of the captain?”

  Violet started at the unexpected question, her hand slipping the loop for the last button. “What of him, my lady?”

  “He is rather dashing, don’t you think?” She prodded, looking over her should to glance slyly at Violet. “It is a shame to see such a well-bred, heroic man go.”

  “Indeed,” Violet mumbled through tight lips. “But I am sure they both have better things to attend to.”

  “If you have any interest in seeing your brother again do let me know. We would be happy to adjust your schedule and accommodate him. And anyone else he might wish to bring.”

  Lady Neil smiled warmly as they moved to the vanity but Violet sensed that her meaning carried more weight than she let on.

  Violet took a deep breath to steady herself. She had made her decision. In a few hours' time her life would be as if nothing had changed. She only needed to hang on until then.

  Lunch was a quiet affair and Violet was very glad when it was over—not just because it meant that Frank would be leaving soon but because the whole ordeal carried such a heavy air that she nearly felt breathless.

  Conversation was scarce, even for Lady Neil. She still seemed pensive about the departure of her guests and Violet’s true feelings about the situation but she did not push Violet to change her mind for which Violet was very grateful.

  The men shared their travel plans, stating that they would be spending some time with Captain Jessup’s oldest brother, Baron of Campston. They shared their many thanks to the baron and baroness for their hospitality and assured their hosts of a very enjoyable stay. Frank also professed his happiness to Violet, thanking her for allowing him the opportunity to reconnect with her and expressed his wholehearted desire
that they remain in contact.

  Violet accepted her brother’s words to the best of her ability, hoping that her anxiety did not make her seem insincere.

  Captain Jessup, much like at their very first meal, was all but silent unless spoken to by Lord or Lady Neil. He had nothing to say to or about Violet, it seemed.

  Thankfully lunch did not last long as her master and mistress seemed to sense everyone’s unease and hurried along to the goodbyes. They walked together from the dining room down to the foyer, where the carriage Frank and Captain Jessup had arrived in waited to carry them away.

  “Lieutenant, Captain, it has been such a pleasure to meet and spend time with you both. And we are certainly glad that you had an equally enjoyable time with us.”

  Lady Neil smiled graciously to her guests and Violet could see from the warmth in her eyes that she meant every word she said.

  “I cannot thank you enough for allowing these two ruffians into your lives in such an unusual way.” Frank took Lady Neil’s hand in his and bowed low over it, his voice thick with sincerity.

  Lord Neil chuckled as he shook both men’s hands. “Unusual indeed, but life needs a little unusualness from time to time to keep it interesting.”

  “Please do write if you are ever in the area again or if you wish to visit. We would love to have your charms brighten our home again,” Lady Neil insisted, an edge of strictness in her voice that made all of them laugh. All except Violet.

  “Do not fret, my lady. You will be the first to know if our charms are nearby.” Captain Jessup took his turn to bow over Lady Neil’s hand, his bright smile conveying nothing but gratitude. But Violet noticed that the smile did not touch his eyes, did not make those lovely crinkles appear at the corners.

  With those formalities taken care of, Lord and Lady Neil quietly retreated to allow the others some privacy.