Healing the Captain's Heart: A Clean Regency Romance (Resolved In Love Book 2)

by Penny Fairbanks

  Chapter 16

  Violet eventually caught up to his side as they made their way back through the town. Owen fought to keep his gaze straight ahead despite every muscle in his body telling him to look at her, take her hand, hug her, kiss her.

  He could do none of those things now. Not after making his position clear. The only question that remained would be if they could pick up where they left off when he and Davies quit Gatherford Park.

  Owen had intentionally left his words open ended. He did not like to speak in absolutes. But the heaviness in his heart told him that time apart would likely only solidify his hesitations into convictions—and the same could very well happen for her.

  He could sense Violet’s dejection as they walked side by side for what would likely be the last time for the foreseeable future. His heart felt as though it shattered in slow motion, the cracks growing wider and deeper until eventually they would burst apart all at once—and he could only hope that he was nowhere near Violet when it did.

  Owen thought back to the look on Violet’s face when he’d told her that he and the lieutenant would be leaving soon. He felt like the lowliest monster for bringing that flash of pain across her face.

  But as they pressed themselves closer to the buildings along the street to allow a young couple, arm in arm, to hurry by them to some happy destination, Owen knew that he could become an even worse monster.

  If he began a life with Violet and something happened to him or if he put her in harm’s way somehow.... The possibility of being hurt or killed in war or some accident and abandoning her to fend for herself again, or of bringing her to the dangerous battlefield or turning over their carriage during a ride or any number of other scenarios in which he could accidentally harm her.... Owen shook his head to keep himself from finishing those thoughts.

  Owen needed to be a monster now to spare Violet from an even worse monster in the future.

  They soon came upon Andrew at the carriage, securing the many items they’d bought on their shopping trip and Owen offered his help. The sooner they could get home and he could retire to his guest chambers for a reprieve from this despondent atmosphere the better.

  Two approaching figures caught Owen’s eye and he used his peripheral vision to observe two men coming straight for the carriage.

  They looked rough, their clothes faded and patched and days old stubble cast shadows on their faces, but that did not put Owen off. He knew many rough looking men who were kinder and more gentlemanly than many of Society’s self-proclaimed best.

  Even still, Owen kept his guard up. Something about the way they eyed him and the Neil family crest on the side of the carriage did not sit well with him.

  “Don’t think I’ve seen you around here before, sir. What about you, Tommy?” The shorter of the two men, and certainly shorter than Owen, strolled up to the carriage and looked Owen up and down.

  “Can’t say I have, Eddie. What’s a sharp-looking lad like you doing in our humble little town?” The taller man came forward now, just a step too close for Owen’s comfort. But he would not back down from these obvious troublemakers.

  “Good afternoon, gentlemen.” He gave a slight bow of his head. If they seemed to think him a sharp-looking lad then he would certainly play the part. “You are correct that you have not seen me here before. I am staying at Gatherford Park with the Neil family. I am out today helping to run errands for the lady of the house.”

  He continued securing their goods and shot Andrew and Violet a cautionary glance when he saw the men smirk at something in his response.

  “Must be nice, living the good life up in the big house,” one of them sneered, perhaps Tommy.

  Owen felt Violet stiffen next to him at the rude tone in the man’s voice. Knowing how much pride she took in the family, it did not surprise Owen that she would not take kindly to someone making a mockery of her employers.

  “I don’t think this will fit here. Would you take it round to the other side? I’m sure you and Andrew can figure it out.”

  Owen took the box in his hands and passed it to Violet. He wanted to get both of them away from these unpleasant men. Violet furrowed her brow and bit her lip, hesitating for a moment. But she nodded to Andrew and they went around to the back of the carriage with the parcel.

  He breathed a quiet sigh of relief and returned his attention to the two men.

  “In fact, I am only here visiting briefly. I was a captain in the army, you see, and now that the war is over I have been making my way around the country visiting family and friends.”

  Owen smiled with as much friendliness and charm as he could muster, hoping that his simple explanation would be enough to satisfying whatever they hoped to get out of him.

  To his great dismay, this only seemed to irritate them more. They glanced at each other with distaste, their lips curling up in matching snarls.

  “How nice,” Eddie growled. “A fancy captain whiling away his days in fancy homes.”

  “You’re right, Eddie. I bet he sat around his tent all day long ordering other soldiers like our old buddies to die.” Tommy spat the words out like venom, his fist opening and closing several times.

  Owen could hardly believe the words he’d just heard. He had certainly met others who’d had mixed feelings about the war or even disapproved of it entirely and he could certainly understand why they might feel that way. The war had left almost no one in England untouched.

  But never had he been met with such open contempt aimed specifically at him. Never had his service been derided so rudely. In truth, there were dishonorable men who claimed to serve their country only for the rewards and acclaim or those who rose through the ranks only to order others around.

  Owen was not that man. He would much rather face a thousand bullets alone than send anyone in his place while he hid in safety. Everything he had done had been for his countrymen, both at home and on the field.

  It took all of Owen’s strength not to unleash his anger upon these two imbeciles. Instead, he harnessed all the excellent breeding and restraint that had been instilled in him throughout his life. He would not stoop to their level and allow them to goad him into confronting them—though he desperately wished to do just that.

  “I am sorry to have given you such an unfavorable impression of my character when you have only known me for less than five minutes. But in truth, I am not terribly concerned about any of that. I simply wish to be finished with my errands and leave in peace. Now, if you don’t mind.”

  Owen stood to his full impressive height before bowing his head to the two men again. He turned to head around to the other side of the carriage where he hoped Violet and Andrew had stayed out of sight. But Tommy and Eddie seemed to think that their fun with Owen was far from over.

  “Oy! You can’t just come to our village and act like you’re better than everyone!” Eddie shouted, slamming his palm against the side of the carriage.

  Owen wheeled around and watched in shock as the two men began to stir up a ruckus.

  “Don’t you take a swing at me!” Tommy cried out, turning toward the street to ensure his voice carried out to the other townspeople.

  “Gentlemen, stop this nonsense!” Owen shouted, taking a step toward them.

  The throw happened so quickly that Owen nearly missed his chance to dodge it. He felt knuckles graze against his jaw as he leaned back to dodge the punch. But he was not so lucky with the second blow, which landed on his stomach as he tried to avoid the first.

  He doubled over, his stomach throbbing from the impact. But he managed to bury the pain beneath his anger and he righted himself in time to sidestep another punch. He caught his present attacker in the shoulders and pushed him away.

  “Owen!” Violet’s cry from behind him distracted Owen. He looked over his shoulder to see her and Andrew emerged from their hiding spot.

  “Help! Someone help!” The footman called out.

  Violet was frozen in her spot, her eyes staring in terror at Owen.<
br />
  Before he could yell for them to get away and run for help, one of the men seized the opportunity to land a hard blow on Owen’s cheek.

  He toppled faster than he thought possible.

  “Owen!” Violet cried again and she ran faster than he thought possible, throwing herself at the man who’d just punched him.

  She grabbed the man’s coat, trying to pull him away from Owen. With the wind knocked out of him, all he could do was gasp out pleas for her to stop and get away. But his pleas went unheard or ignored.

  He tried to stumble to his feet again but the soreness in his cheek from the punch radiated throughout his face and around his skull resulting in a dizzying headache. His eyes could barely focus as he watched the man try to shake Violet off him.

  But they snapped to attention the moment he heard bone connect with bone as the man’s elbow caught Violet’s jaw.

  She too toppled faster than he thought possible.

  Her limp form on the ground was enough to banish any pain and dizziness from Owen. None of that mattered now. He surged forward, his rage powering his arm as he threw himself at the man who’d harmed Violet and drove his fist into his already crooked nose.

  The man fell backwards onto the ground and Owen was on top of him in an instant. He pulled his fist back to strike another punishing blow, his chest heaving with fury and adrenaline, sweat dripping down his temples and neck.

  But before he could strike again, two strong arms wrapped around his, still poised in the air for the next blow, and he found himself being yanked to his feet.

  Owen heard Andrew’s voice in his ear but did not hear what he said. The blood rushing through his brain drowned out anything else and now that he’d been removed from the attacker, the dizzying headache returned in full force.

  “Violet...” was all he could mumble as he tripped over his own feet, Andrew working hard to steady Owen’s larger and more muscular frame.

  Andrew said something again but Owen still could not hear. His bleary eyes glanced around at the scene until he finally spotted her. She sat up on the ground, surrounding by townspeople while others wrangled the two men who’d attacked them.

  Owen immediately pulled himself out of the footman’s grip and dropped to the ground next to Violet. He gripped her shoulders and allowed his eyes to unabashedly examine her face. He barely noticed the people surrounding them and their mutterings.

  “Violet, are you well?” His words were breathy and his voice cracked, the combination of overwhelming emotions from the event making his throat raw.

  “Yes, Captain, I’m just fine. A little sore but fine. But what of you? They hit you so hard...”

  Violet sounded as overwhelmed and distressed as Owen had. He took her hands in his and gently pulled her to her feet. Now that the scene appeared to be under control, the two instigators dragged away amidst jeers and swears at Owen, Owen took a good look at Violet’s condition.

  Her black work dress was covered in dirt and bits of gravel clung to the soft skin of her palms where she’d tried to break her fall. A red mark bloomed along her jawline, the area already beginning to swell.

  Monster.

  That word that had rung in Owen’s head just a few minutes before came roaring back. Hatred surged through him as he realized he’d put her in this position. However unintentional it had been, she’d still been hurt because of him. Because he attracted trouble and risk into his life. Because his profession made him a monster to others for a different reason. Because she’d tried to protect him.

  All Owen wanted to do in that moment was take Violet in his arms and kiss her despite the dust on her lips and the footman and other townspeople nearby who would surely see. He did not care about any of that. But he did care about Violet.

  And because he cared so deeply for her, he instead dropped her hands to her sides and took a step back. He straightened his shoulders and clenched his jaw.

  “I told you to stay away. You were foolish to step in. You could have been hurt even worse.” He tried to keep the sorrow and pain out of his voice, masked beneath coldness and distance.

  Violet’s eyes widened and her mouth fell open slightly in surprise. Owen’s words had hurt her. He hated himself all over again for causing her still more harm, but he needed to end this now.

  “I just wanted to help.... I couldn’t just stand by and watch you be attacked,” she whispered, still staring at him in shock.

  Owen’s façade crumbled slightly and he softened at the fear and worry in her voice. But he needed to hold as firm as he could to his stance, even if he could not force himself to be completely cold.

  “I know, and I do thank you for that. But it was unnecessary and you needlessly put yourself in danger. I am a trained fighter after all. I could have handled the situation on my own.”

  Violet frowned. “Not when your opponents fight dirty, forcing you take on two at once and striking you when you aren’t looking.”

  Before Owen could rebut, a few villagers returned to the small group from Gatherford Park.

  “Is everyone alright aside from being a bit shaken? Does anyone need the doctor?” A kind young man asked.

  Owen opened his mouth to insist that Violet be taken to the doctor immediately but she quickly insisted that she was perfectly well, or would be soon enough. Owen forced himself to bite his tongue.

  He knew her injury likely only needed a bit of ice to bring down the swelling and mitigate the bruising but he could not stop himself from wanting to insist that Violet receive the best care, the best attention, the best of everything—a habit he would need to quickly learn to suppress. Owen did not fool himself into thinking he could ever break it entirely. Still, when they returned to the estate he would ensure that Mrs. Baird was made aware of the situation and tended to Violet.

  “I’m terribly sorry you had a run in with those two scoundrels. They only came to town just before winter but they’ve already caused more than their fair share of trouble. Quite a nuisance, if you ask me. I hope we can be rid of them soon,” said an older woman, her nose scrunched in distaste.

  Owen nodded at the information, unsurprised. He suspected that if he asked around he would easily discover that those two men had also been run out of the other nearby towns.

  “Thank you all for your help. You've been very kind and generous to us. I will make your good deeds known to Lord and Lady Neil. And the same goes for you two,” Owen announced as he turned his attention to Violet and Andrew. He nodded for them to climb into the carriage so they could leave this drama behind and he spurred the horses away as soon as the reins were in his hands.

  The ride home—no, not home, Owen had to remind himself once again—was a grim and silent affair. After Owen privately offered his thanks to both Violet and Andrew once more, everyone slipped into their own thoughts.

  The ride felt far longer than Owen remembered. His heart broke with each moment that passed in pained silence and stillness.

  Owen knew that he should go upstairs at once, that he should call for a footman to ready his bath so he could wash away the grime and sweat that made him feel disgusting. But he knew there was something else that would not be so easily washed away.

  Instead, Owen followed Violet to the servants’ hall. Despite his best intentions, he could not keep himself away. At least not until he could be sure that she was truly fine.

  “Violet, are you sure you are quite alright? I saw what happened. I saw how hard he hit you, how hard you fell.”

  Violet stopped, straightening her shoulders and lifting her head before turning to face him. “Yes, I am fine. As I keep saying.”

  Owen’s heart sank at the coldness in her voice but he knew he deserved it.

  He’d thought it would be the best way to do this, to go about separating them until they both had a chance to consider what they wanted, what they could accept in their futures. He could make himself unappealing to her so that she would not miss him when he left. So that she would not want him back if he r
eturned.

  But Owen could not do it any longer. If he must hurt her, let it be with the truth.

  “I’m so sorry for being harsh after the confrontation, Violet. I do appreciate your willingness to help me. But I see all too clearly now what I had feared before. You will be hurt because of me. Perhaps not physically like today. Emotionally is more likely. For that reason I feel it is necessary for me to go. As I said before, I do not wish to stay away forever. But I think you should have the opportunity to return to your normal life, life without me, and see that you do not need me.”

  Violet lowered her eyes and took a shaky breath. “Is this really what you want to do?”

  Everything in Owen screamed to say no, to take it all back and take her in his arms. But he allowed the final thread holding his heart together to snap.

  “Yes. It is.”

  Violet nodded and turned away, walking toward the servants’ dining table and sinking into a chair. Owen saw the tears in the corner of her eye before she buried her face in her hands.

  He rushed away, calling for Mrs. Baird. Like a coward, he could not bear to witness the damage he’d caused.

  “Captain, is everything alright? I’ve just heard from Mr. Taylor that Andrew came back from town in quite a state. He said something about a fight breaking out.”

  Mrs. Baird hurried out of the storeroom when she heard Owen calling. She gasped when she saw the state of his clothes and the bruise on his cheek and his disheveled hair and the distress in his eyes.

  “Good Heaven...”

  “Mrs. Baird, Violet was hurt in the scuffle and she needs your help. She’ll have some bruising to her jaw tomorrow and it’s quite swollen and red right now.”

  Without another word, the housekeeper rushed past Owen toward the servants’ dining area.

  Once he knew that Violet would be cared for, Owen nearly ran upstairs as fast as his sore body would allow. But instead of going straight for his room once he reached the guest wing, Owen checked the guest sitting room first. He threw the door open and found the lieutenant reading the newspaper by the fire.