Medusa's Touch

by Emily L Byrne

  Chapter 3

  TiCara watched Zig’s black-clad form leave the bar before switching her seat to put the table between herself and Elia. She glanced around to make sure there was no one close enough to hear her before she turned back to Elia. What was that? You working for the corps again? Or just the Ears? Her lip curled when she said it, almost as if she was about to smile, like her words were something approaching a joke, but her hand beneath the table twitched, looking for a weapon.

  Not that she would use it on her old lover, old friend and former teacher. Probably not. Unless she stood between her and Zig if the time finally came that she could kill him without repercussions. One of her medusas stung the delicate skin behind her ear and she jumped, pulled out of her fantasies. Elia was silently watching her across the table, still the same Elia, at least outwardly.

  Only TiCara had changed. Or, at least, how she thought of their relationship and what they could be to each other had shifted. Sex, VR or otherwise, was no longer an option for trade. Not if Elia might be working with or for Zig. An ice cold wave caressed her skin, cooling any residual lust that lingered from her fantasies and she wondered for an instant if it was her imagination or her implants.

  She leaned back, gently drumming her fingers on the table edge as if she was still waiting for Elia’s answer. As if it would make a difference in how this tell would go. She leaned forward and tapped the table to pull up the virtual drink menu, selecting something without the Kyr’s kick but with a meta booster. She would need to be alert for this.

  She wondered if there was any way to ask Elia for tells on Electra without revealing her plans now. Her head spun, picking up, and then dropping ideas. Betrayal ached through to her bones, along with the fear that the Elia she knew might be gone forever. Even with the growing distance between them, she hadn’t been ready for that, not really.

  Once the corporations had you, they never let you go. It had been something that Elia used to tell her, back when she was in training. She’d been stupid to forget that lesson, even temporarily. Perhaps Elia had even forgotten it herself. TiCara’s mood darkened as the silence stretched between them and she scowled, lost in her past. A spasm ran up her cheek at the memories and she covered it with her hand to hide it. This was more, much more, than she wanted to think about right now.

  A new suspicion made her wonders if Zig had something on Elia or if she just wanted something from him. Shouting from another table broke through her thoughts and she shifted her shoulders, dragged a breath in, then slowly out. Elia was still watching her when she emerged from her thoughts, the silence still spreading over and between them like a blanket. The other woman’s lips smiled, but her eyes were wary. Seen up close, her cheeks looked sunken and she looked like she might have been ill.

  TiCara felt pity for her old lover edging out her anxiety and distrust. She hunted for the right words to say, the right gesture that would mend the breech. They could still be friends, couldn’t they?

  Suddenly, Elia grinned. Missed you, TiCara. Like a blackhole in this port when you left. Nothing starshine for me, not even the carcite deposits. Her grin widened; carcite had been Kyrin’s main export until the deposits ran out. The fragments still gleamed in the tunnel walls, a reminder of what had been. The old spacer joke made TiCara smile, despite her whirling emotions.

  Suddenly Elia stood up, her body straight and elegant despite how ill she had appeared an instant before, and leaned over the table. She cupped TiCara’s face in her hands and kissed her hard. The kiss startled TiCara and her lips parted under Elia’s, more from habit than desire.

  Elia’s medusas fell forward and twined themselves in among hers in a movement that felt almost deliberate. But that was impossible. Elia no longer had that much control over her medusas, not without Eternayouth.

  A shudder ran through TiCara. It shouldn’t be this easy, this fast. There should be negotiation or tell, give and take. She shivered as a wave of memories of their time together washed over her, then as suddenly ebbed.

  The flash of remembered passion coursed through her and then her body was her own again. She pulled her face from Elia’s hands and backed out of reach. This didn’t make sense, none of it did. Elia had never been enthusiastic about kissing her in meatspace when they had been together. She always hesitated, then withdrew rapidly afterward. This passionate embrace had already lasted longed than any they had had before, outside the mods. The realization was enough to make TiCara rein in any remaining eagerness.

  It wasn’t too late. She could still make an excuse and leave, even put credits into the bar for Elia’s next drink, say she’d be back later. Or she could stay and let Elia think she was just here to see her again, gather some spacer tell before she had to leave.

  Elia gestured upward with an odd twist of her fingers. It was a gesture from their old code. But TiCara didn’t respond, not at first. They hadn’t had a code for Tell me if you’re betraying me first. Perhaps they should have. Elia’s fingers moved in another gesture, this one more impatient, demanding, insistent. She quirked a pale eyebrow, as if baffled by TiCara’s reluctance.

  An Ear, Elia? Stop trying to distract me. Tell me what he wanted. TiCara leaned back against the booth. Her eyes narrowed as she studied Elia, moving beyond pity and lust. The other woman looked more than tired, more than lonely. Elia’s gaze was almost hungry, feverish more than lustful. One of her hands trembled until she sat back down and hid it under the table.

  You forget so fast, Ti? You and me together, we were good. I want you to remember that. Elia’s voice was a croon, a siren’s call, beckoning TiCara closer. They stared at each other, and TiCara, despite everything, felt a familiar ache between her legs. But she tilted her head in the Systems standard gesture of refusal, crossed her arms across her breasts and waited in silence.

  Elia waited her out for a long couple of breaths before she tossed her hands up in the air like she was surrendering. Ears got no family, no friends, once they’re Ears, Ti? Known Zig a long time, before you even, from back when he was just out of the crèche. He comes to me, asks nothing. Just tell between friends. She looked at TiCara earnestly, the expression sitting oddly on her features, like a mask.

  Ears always want something, Elia. You had no Ear friends when I knew you. Why now?

  I knew you were afraid of them. Didn’t tell you. Elia shrugged apologetically. You didn’t signal you’d be planetside now. Didn’t expect to see you here, She paused, her eyes narrowing in suspicion. What do you want, Ti? Her tone got more formal, more corps standard, drifting away from the clipped syllables of spacer talk. TiCara wondered if she even realized it, if this was the way that she spoke to her Ear friends.

  TiCara wavered, trying to decide whether or not to leave before this went any further. Could she trust any tell that she got from the other woman? And if not, why was she still here? But if she left now, it would look like she was angry or jealous. Pilot-Captain TiCara could not afford to be either of those things, even if they were true.

  Instead, she had to give Elia some tell she’d believe, in case there was a next time, a next meeting. Got a job, El. Wondering about the nav through a couple of systems, what spacer tell was. Knew you’d tru tell me, not like the Nets. She twisted her lips up into what she hoped looked like a real smile and leaned forward, resting her elbows on the table.

  That it? For tru? Elia glanced down at TiCara’s breasts, then slowly back up, letting her eyes do her talking for her. She smiled suddenly and TiCara wondered, just a little, about the warmth in her expression. Elia had always kept her emotions locked up, buried. The older pilot had been too distant, too reserved for TiCara, and TiCara had been too difficult for her to control and they both knew it. It pulled them apart again and again. So why was Elia looking at her now like she’d forgotten all of that? Like she didn’t remember how they’d parted the last time with hot words and hotter tempers?

  She took a deep breath to steady her nerves. Give her a good ship and a clean, clear run any
cycle. Games within games had never been something she liked. For a moment, she wished that things were the way she’d hoped they would be, that she had never seen Elia talking to an Ear, any Ear. That she hadn’t known that Elia was lying to her now. That they could enjoy each other for old time’s sake, if nothing more.

  She missed Elia as she was, missed their simpler times together even if it had become just VR-fueled lust. Elia had been a companion, someone she thought she could trust and confide in under the right circumstances. Now, she matched Elia false smile for smile. Leaving in a few machrons, love. Not this time. She pitched her voice downward and tried to sound regretful. It wasn’t very difficult.

  TiCara shifted back in her chair and reached for the console to buy Elia another drink. The other woman caught it off the conveyor when it came by and nodded as TiCara continued speaking, as if nothing had happened between them. "Sirius wants to send Astra to some ‘stroids in the Gathwaite Belt, including some I can’t find on the charts. Then over to the Aeon system to with a tech shipment. Heard any tell on those systems, El?" TiCara made her tone casual, as if she was just running down rumors.

  Elia looked startled, leaving TiCara to wonder which story she was reacting to. Vahn hadn’t given her the

  asteroid’s coordinates yet, so she had picked the two systems that most spacer stories claimed held Electra. Did Elia’s reaction mean that she’d guessed correctly? She couldn’t read the other woman’s face, not for certain, so she watched her medusas instead.

  The implants retained some residual nerve connections even without Eternayouth to keep them at peak functionality. Now they coiled and swirled around Elia’s neck, their movements random and slow. TiCara wondered if they reflected what was going on in Elia’s head. Or if she was just projecting her own sense of wrongness onto their meaningless motions.

  Elia tapped her fingers on the table. You with me, Ti? Gathwaite System still has pirates. Asteroids are their main bases. Ask for more creds if you’re going there, Ti and run if you see any ships you don’t know.

  TiCara wondered if Vahn would pay more if she asked for it. But even if he did, his generosity wouldn’t be enough to replace her ship or her life. Pirates were trouble. The Astra had outrun them before, just not with corps passengers on board, especially not one so high-placed. And that had been luck as much as skill. She found herself hoping that they were going to the Aeon System instead. Elia only gave tell about navigational anomalies there.

  She made her face still and calm as she listened. The former pilot mentioned some ordinary nav dangers like odd meteorite formations before she got to the information that TiCara was hoping to hear. She began sharing tell about the asteroid Electra, without any prompting. It was clear that Electra 12 wasn’t just a myth, at least not to Elia.

  But Elia didn’t seem to know much more than Vahn had already told TiCara. A few more details here and there about the asteroid’s rumored ownership and history, some of which might prove useful. She added a couple of spacer tales about the nonhuman life forms that supposedly inhabited the place and TiCara let them all wash over her, dismissing them as unlikely. Then she moved on to the more mundane tales.

  But there was one story about the asteroid’s miraculous healing that stood out amongst the others. Elia mentioned a starship pilot who’d come to Electra and was healed of his/her/zir medusas on the asteroid. Just the idea made TiCara feel sick. Severe damage to medusas could kill a wired pilot: wiring was for life, or so she’d always been told. Besides, how could anyone stand to live without them, once they adapted to them?

  She was shivering as she asked, How could ze lose zir medusas and not die? Sounds like a VR story, Elia. And what if it happens to me? The thought overrode all her senses in a small wave of panic. She clenched her hands into fists in her lap where Elia couldn’t see them, willing them to be still.

  Elia shrugged. Once wired, always wired, far as I know, Ti. But it’s what’s said.

  TiCara inhaled sharply, then let it out with a sigh. She was overreacting. It was just a story, nothing more. It had to be. Besides, if they found the asteroid at all, she’d be safe on the Astra, waiting for Vahn. She wasn’t planning on leaving the ship, not if that might be what was waiting for her.

  It was time to focus on safer topics, then be on her way. But she must have given Elia a clue that something was still bothering her because Elia brought up Zig again. I know how you feel about the Ears, Elia said, her voice soft. But they’re not all like the ones you knew. Zig pays me in cred for gossip sometimes. Or we drink and talk about nothing. Not querying about you, TiCara. Just talk about ports and ships.

  TiCara looked away and shut Elia out in an attempt to slow her heart’s pounding race. Trying not to scream her thoughts out loud. Trying to concentrate on all that Elia wasn’t saying. Ports and ships. Ports like this one. Ships. Like the Astra. He heart sped up, her breathing with it. She was going to break soon, if she didn’t leave. She knew the signs now.

  This had to stop: she had to regain control of her mind. With a ferocious effort, she used a meditation technique that she had learned on Aliandra, after she left the Ears. She concentrated only on her breathing, on the rhythm of her fingers on her knee under the table, until the urge to scream or vent her terror and rage slowly dissipated.

  Elia was silent and motionless as TiCara got herself under control again, pushing away the despair that she still felt like this. Two Earth standard years as a bond slave to Ears to earn her medusas and her memories could still not be drowned in the past or in the bars or the VR mods, not even seven revolutions later. She hated the way her pulse still raced when she looked back at Elia.

  But Elia’s expression was kindly and patient, just like it used to be when TiCara had attacks like this back when they’d been together. Then they had been more frequent, more severe. TiCara wished she still believed in Elia, but

  the time for that was passing. She struggled to find words, torn between competing impulses.

  Finally, TiCara touched her hand to her heart to indicate that she trusted the other pilot. Elia did the same and they smiled at each other. And if TiCara’s smile was less tru than it had been once, Elia gave no sign of noticing.

  TiCara got up and pulled Elia to her feet. She gave Elia a light kiss on the lips. It felt like the right way to say farewell to what they had been to each other. Elia held her close a moment longer than she expected and whispered something that TiCara didn’t quite hear. It sounded like an old spacer blessing, one that a previous generation of pilots used for a compatriot headed for dangers unknown.

  Then Elia startled her by breaking off their embrace and looking at her for a long moment, as if she was memorizing her face. Her hand rested on TiCara’s cheek and her eyes were sad. Then she pulled away and walked out, disappearing from The Haven without looking back.

  TiCara watched her go and wondered what she should be afraid of, what she needed protection against. The corps and the Ears, always. If they wanted Vahn dead, they could sabotage her ship or have her killed anywhere, Downside or Upside or off planet. The corporations had their own laws and they weren’t written for pilots on the dark side of legit trade.

  But that was nothing new and she couldn’t have attracted that much notice already, could she? And Elia didn’t know about Vahn or this run. Or she shouldn’t have known. Unless she and Zig shared tell about ports and ships and he knew more than he should.

  TiCara pinged the console to let the cleaning bot know that they were done with their drink containers. She could only guess at how it to connect Zig and Elia’s behavior and her tales about Electra to create certainty about what the former pilot knew and when. If she had more time to dig into it...but then she wouldn’t have been down at The Haven looking for intel the fast and easy way.

  The way she felt now made her want to go back a few hours. Do it all over again, this time listening to her fears and handling them better. She’d given too much away, made herself too vulnerable, panicked like the child s
he had been. But now there was nothing she could do about it except continue with her contract and hope that no more trouble came for her.

  Her fears kept her wary as she left The Haven and she moved on to the other bars, drifting aimlessly down corridors and walkways in hopes of losing any remaining interest from the Ears. She drank, even gambled briefly with other spacers, just another spacer in port on R&R.

  Then she slipped into a comm booth to call Erol again and have a look around her. There were Ears all over the walkways now, everywhere she looked, but maybe they weren’t looking for her. Maybe there weren’t even that many of them, and her fears were simply running away with her, cloning an Ear for each walkway. At least she couldn’t see Zig or his companion, so that was something.

  Erol must have heard that fear in her voice when she commed him. His voice sounded stilted, distant. After a moment, she realized that he was trying to sound reassuring, not something he was particularly skilled at. TiCara forced her nerves to still, her voice into its normal register, her accent into spacer clip. "I was at the bars for tell, saw a one from before the wires. Blackhole memories. My head’s still low grav, sorry. Astra ready?"

  Erol’s voice lost its forced patience. "Aye, Captain. Ship-shape on supplies and crew.

  Ji-min and Vijay set up quarters for the passengers. Vijay got the new chow dispenser in. Need give some tell to port, slip some creds their way, and we go when you’re back and they’re aboard."

  TiCara grinned as she acknowledged him and commed off. The tightness in her middle eased its grip and she messaged Sherin next. The rep’s beautiful face danced before her on the vid screen as she told her that everything was ready for them and asked about dietary requirements. Erol probably had that covered too, but she wanted Sherin to see her as thoughtful.

  From Sherin’s expression, it didn’t seem wholly successful, but the rep sent her a food list before signing off abruptly. TiCara smiled at the comm screen anyway. Anything the rep was fighting this bad could be nova on this trip. For a single mad instant, she imagined indulging her fantasies again, but dismissed the thought with a sigh.